All Comments on 'Justin Thyme Ch. 09'

I like this story so much and look forward to every new chapter

I love your stories,for a while there I forgot I was on literotica and was totally engrossed in the story.love every new chapter.

It's really a great story. It's not just about sex between brother and sister but also about love. Keep it up. Can't wait to read the next chapter as well as future chapters.

I really love this story, and the different avenues that are opening up in it both erotically and romantically.

My only suggestion is really an editing point. When transitioning between perspectives, it can be a bit jarring to be reading along in one paragraph and then, with no warning, jump to the other perspective in the next. One way I've seen authors deal with it is to put some kind of marker between the different sections to show that one section is ending and another beginning. This could be as simple as ~Justin~ to open one of Justin's sections, or ~Michael~ to open the other. Or even just an ellipsis between sections.

I dislike the 'random' jumps between story lines/scenes, even a row of dashes would help

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Also in the last scene, what did Tom give to Michael? A key possibly?

I wish I discovered this story about 3 months in the future, so I would not have to wait for the next part. Thanks

This is a great story!!! I am sorry to hear about your dad! I could see a distinct change in your writing around that time and now I know why. With all the twists you have introduced you must be planning on writing a lot more chapters!

Great story, um couple points

Some of the transition between loactions are jumpy, maybe put a line break to tellus where the story is now located

And hopefully Justin and the girls will explore their sexuality farther

keep up the good work. just a pointer- try to differentiate the parts where the scenes change, makes it easier to understand the translation.

other than that, this may be the best series I've read on literotica

Better editing pointers have already been given.

The one thing Im struggling now with is the time you need to write the next chapter.

The way you write makes me want to keep reading!!

That is something not everyone can do.

Keep up the good work!!

Made an account just to tell you that you are an awesome writer! Your writing pulls at the heart strings making me laugh and cry every chapter. I can't wait for the next chapter. I am very glad I found this great story!

I have enjoyed this story very much and hope to see more in the near future. Keep up the good work and i cant wait to see how it all ends up.

This is one of my favorite series. Please keep them comming

Susie has hero worship. The reactions of the parents seemed slightly real until they gave him a key.

This is a great story.

Thank you for continuing to add new chapters.

Looking forward to Chapter 10!

I enjoy the depth of the characters and the full range of emotions you portray in each and every chapter. I do think the parents giving him a key is possibly a little too much; it could be possible though just saying it doesn't seem very probable. I look forward to the next chapter as well as any future stories you may have outside this series.

Love the story, but it's made me neglect other things, including sleep. Now that I've caught up it might be better, as long as I don't have to wait too long for the next chapter.

I agree the key-giving seems a bit too soon to be probable, but these stories are full of improbable things. Admittedly, Michael has demonstrated impeccable character, been very generous and helpful, received glowing character references from people the parents trust, and clearly has no need or desire to rob the place, there will be a someone there 24 hours a day (homecare nurses), and their injured daughter clearly needs him around, but it would still be more believable if they'd waited a couple more days before giving him a key. On the other hand, stranger things have happened!

I love the fact that you don't get into anal sex (it's not my thing and many stories seem to insist on including it as though it's not erotic enough if you don't have the girls going wild for anal), and that you resist the temptation to throw in girl-on-girl sex (I 've no objection to it, but it's more real the way you have the girls love each other without making love to each other).

I think though that it might be more realistic with teenagers for there to be at least the occasional passionate pure-lust sex once the relationship's established, with the romance more in the afterglow. I could be mis-remembering, but I just don't recall any scenes like this from the story - it all seems to be sooo romantic.

I think you should have a space in between scenes. its a little difficult sometimes when your reading and it switches from one group of characters to another.

Thank you it is a good read.

Can I make one suggestion?

When you move from one conversation/location to another break up the narrative somehow - maybe with several stars between the paragraphs **** or double spacing - it is a little disconcerting sometimes to go from a sex scene to the hospital room without notification.

As I said I enjoy it as it is but just an observation.

thanks

'Sorry I missed this when it first appeared, but certainly better late... This series is turning into quite a fine prospect as a novel - though it would be a rare publisher who would touch it because of society's silly prejudice against sex between relatives. People might want to be careful about reproduction, but sex for love or pleasure is just sex, and few other mammals worry about it. So far, this series is a favorite, and I wish I could buy the book. I do agree with those who complain about the lack of some kind of break between scenes. Sometimes I need to stop and go over a few lines to know where I am in the story, and that is distracting. Occasional spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes don't bother me much, but the lack of breaks do.

Someone mentioned about the process of going from one character to another. May i suggest a simple way of doing it, although it may not be proper in "writing leagues".

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Triple space and just add as many lines as you feel necessary, as I just did and everyone will know something happened.

Still loving the story, but would really like to see more contractions used... A lot of it just reads funny without them :)

A lot of the writing is good, but some things disrupt the experience.

One, totally agree with earlier comments about formatting breaks between scenes.

Second suspension of disbelief. The transition from Steph and the police to the next sex scene. You find out your best friend/lover was almost raped and is on the way to you for emotional support and your first reaction is to go right back to getting jiggy? How would you not find that a mood killer? Surely you'd want to talk about it, discuss ways to support your friend when they arrive.

You write a good story but some of the worst sex scenes ever.