All Comments on 'Kiss Cam'

That was so damn erotic! Totally a turn on. Wow

Honestly a great story. The interaction between the girls was believable. And yes, I would have fucked my older sister if I could have. ha!

I'm not a grammar nazi, but there were so many of those "Did I read that right" moments that took me out of the story.

to many mistakes

Too many mistakes is spelled "too" not "to." If you want to be a dick, at least don't be an idiot. Especially when attacking grammar

You wrote a great story on how Aaron wanted to get even with his so-called girlfriend Rachel and he used his sister Nicole as his date for a basketball game to make this girl jealous of her. I like how the story developed and how you developed the characters of Aaron, Nicole, Beth and Rachel. The story was not hard to read and I had a good plot to it. Don't worry about the grammar Nazis that read stories on this site. Keep up the good work.

Mark

that was a very good story . you could have done more with it and I wish you had ! A good story anyway so keep writing and I will keep reading !

Absolutely an outstanding read. Plot development was good. Dialogue was well done. Sure, there were a few minor mistakes that should have been caught in edit, but nothing that detracted from the story and it gives the liter-nazis something to bitch about.

Bravo!!! Buildup was perfect, you captured the very essence of every moment. I especially appreciated the unexpected little stabs you took at your readers, that was brilliant. You did something few authors can do, you included the reader in the story and it really sucked me in!!! Do not worry unnecessarily about a couple mistakes, I hardly noticed, the writing was that good!!! I think you should continue this story, there is a plethora of possibilities. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful piece of your work!!!

With earth day looming I was wondering if you might try your hand at a story about natural hairy girls? Something primal with panty and butt sniffing etc.??? I know with your talent you could pull this off, I can only imagine how divinely hot it would be. Thanks for any consideration you may give to my request.

very impressed with character and dialoogue developement. No unnecessary talk or actions. I am very impressed.

That was great! Thanks ;-)

please continue ASAP need to know what happened next ,IE did your bro fuck the other girls did you and him keep fucking etc etc

thank u for sharing......

There's definitely scope here for a continuation. I bet those other two are in the house, SERIOUSLY turned on!

What a seriously fucked upfamily. What a slut. Bitch. Whore. Where does she live??

I love the hard fuck and everything wrong attached to it. best I ever read

Aka very entertaining. This could have been better if Big Sis had some fleeting moments of sentient sentiment. The kiss cam was a clever plot device. The author threw some zingy metaphors & bon mutts' into their exposition. Just a hint of unexpected romance would have been sublime.

Need a 2nd part!!!

Finally, a woman (Beth) who is not downright tiny. It seemed like all your female characters, both genetic and trans, were under 5' 4" tall and weighed under 140 pounds.

Very sexy and raunchy. How low can you go?

Nicole (sister), in particular and (brother) Aaron both have some deep character flaws! Nicole is on-par as a gutter-whore and Aaron subconsciously needs to be her wannabe pimp--and neither one of them has one iota of love for the other, though birthed by the same parents and growing up in the same household, she 20 years old and he 18 years old.

The ultimate thoughts and feelings of each, Nicole and Aaron, is to use, abuse and demean the other sibling for their own devious usesr, even though their hate for each other is but to the enlightenment of themselves in the eyes of their own peers, not for any affection or empathy of themselves to their sibling . The hate, the disgust and the loathing both siblings have for is akin to the Hatfield's and McCoy's family decades-old feuds.

Even Nicole sucking her brother's dick at poolside and, within minutes, Aaron's animalistic rape-like fuck of his sister--and she did enjoy the attack for her own evil gratification --was as emotionless, sterile and debasing as humanly possible only to prove points for themselves in view of his two female acquaintences.

The story is hard to follow, i. e., the letter "I" used several times for "a", "he" for "she", words missing in sentences, punctuation and comma's missing in lots of sentences, etc. I don't critique stories for minor errors, especially when the errors don't prevent a good read of the story, but here those errors impeded the flow and thought processing of what could have been a well written and themed story. I have enjoyed many of the author's stories immensely and will continue to do so.

This was a different story for me, the fact that the girl had admitted daddy issues, was a slut, but sex with her brother wasn't as intimate as it is with other incest stories made it pretty crazy. Then at the end she still has a deep resentment for her brother. Please make a second part if only to show how much he wants it but can't get it again.

That was a perfect story. Would love more like it and a part 2 to this one.

I should have hated this, but I liked it a lot. The bit about the cereal box was funny.

Like this one better than the holy version, It was full of temptation, but this was Hot.

sequel plz

Ok that was awesome i really enjoyed her pissing of all the other's:D which is kinda funny cause I don't like people doing that XD

seriously you really are good at writing and even if I'm not going to read your transsexual/crossdressing stories (cause I'm not interested in that at all) I believe them to be very good

I'd love to see a second part but it wouldn't be that bad if you just start something new

Two of the biggest assholes around both Aaron and his sister, they should be forced to marry each other, why ruin two other lives.

An exhibitionist older sister fucking her younger brother through the role-play and blackmail. Fuck that's dirty and so, so sexy

A+++ would read again

It was different than usual, but really interesting! There were some grammatical errors but they were easily overlooked and the writing style was both amusing and arousing. Love the descriptions! Can't wait to hear more!

I need MOAR! I DEMAND A SEQUEL! That was, HANDS DOWN, one of the best literotica stories I've EVER read! And I've read quite alot!

On a more serious note, there were a few grammatical errors and maybe a few spelling errors. I was way too engrossed in the story to remember anything specific.

That was the greatest piece of shit I have ever read. Trully a work of idiocy. You should apply for the University of Brown to teach a new genre in Literature. The class will be called 'How to write the most fucked up and idiotic shit you can think of 101.' Thanks for taking time out of your day to write such an eye sore. Now, as the Dean, I am now relieving you of your motherfucking profile on this site, and will ask you to shut the fuck up with your shit.

Sent by Chris Pulliam, who thinks of you as dirt under his boot, you fuck bucket

Thank you for taking some time out of your busy day to give my little story a read. I will take your notes into consideration before penning a new story. You are so constructive, I can scarcely believe I ever placed finger to key before you spoke.

Two things:

1.) what's your problem with Brown University? What have the good people at Brown done to you? No doubt as a Harvard man, you are merely sticking it to a college rival. A little old fashioned school spirit, eh Mr. Pulliam?

2.) Also, congratulations on your promotion to Dean! I expect that the university conducted an extensive, nationwide search before finally making the obviously correct decision. It is not often that someone is promoted from the position of refuse collection technician to the top of academia, but you give lie to the charge that the proletariat lacks solid managerial stock.

In summation, good luck in the future. Look in on my other stories. And keep on being you!

YKN

Enjoyed it, very naughty ;^)

By far this is one of the best stories I've read on the site. I really loved the build up to the sex scene and the anger and taboo shared between the two. Great story, please add to it.

How do you get a Harvard Grad off your front porch? Pay him for the pizza...

Not only was this possibly THE hottest story I've ever read on this site, it was excellently written. I came so hard and I still can't stop re reading it and rubbing my cunt. Thank you for writing an amazing story. I can't wait to read more from you. :)

What was almost as good as this story? The god damn comments, now those are funny!

The only thing missing was her head doing a 180, throwing up pea green spittle and talking in a male voice in Italian.

This is THE story I have been searching for on literotica. By far it is my favorite. Please continue it.

That was one of the best stories I have ever read

This story is just awesome. I wish it would be longer, like 50 pages or something lol.

Thank you for this wodnerful read.

Really Enjoyed Nicole's Slutty Self Talk.

Excellent read!! Keep up the great work!

This is a truly enjoyable story. I could easily see this happening in real life.

Wow... Break off some of that cheddar for some therapy (or a team of psychiatrists), Mom & Pop Moneybags, 'cuz your family is FUCKED UP! Like "a serial killer who murders hookers, then chops up their corpses, stuffs them in garbage bags, to dump them in the river" crazy.

They take the "fun" out of Dys***ctional.

WOW I LOVED THAT!!!

I could not pull myself away from this story! Nicole is a fabulous character and I love the revenge she got on her brother. This is more twisted than your other stories and I am begging you to write more like it! My husband is about to have the best sex of his life and it is because of how turned on you made me!

This has got to be one of the most relevant and relatable lines I have read in a fiction story this year.

If you are thinking that maybe my Dad's attitude when I was growing up has something to do with that reputation at school I was telling you about, then you get a gold star dear reader. Turns out being smart enough to realize you have daddy issues doesn't change the fact that you have daddy issues. Go figure

I would love to add it to our editor choice quotables on the book review site I work for. I will send you the link in private inbox. Or you can Google my name Maliceon to find it. Xoxo you are FANTASTIC as for the editing I use paper rater dot com its free and you just paste in the text and it autocorrects and offers suggestions. Hope this is a time saver and helps you out in the future xoxo all my respect, Maliceon

There needs to be more much much more!

Well written - crisp, concise, clever, funny, and sexy; realistic characters and believable motivations.! A hot story well-told - and leaving the reader (me!) wanting more adventures of these two.

WE HAVE TO HAVE MORE! !!!!!'

One hell of a tantalizing and creative read! This awesome storyline developed deliscously with loads of clever wit and intrigue that had this reader craving more. My kingdom for a sequel!

The sister's attitude is fucking annoying. What a fucking slut. What's so 'attractive' about slutty girls? Honestly it's disgusting. It's funny how she called those girls 'sluts and skanks' when really, she's the whore. She fucks random guys at college and she goes and fucks her own brother? What a fucking whore. I don't even get how she's in college. She has the mentality of a twelve year old. I think the people who like this are perverted men.

See above ;) Great read, wish there were more like it around. Thanks for taking the time to write and share.

Crazy bitches are the best!

Try a chain saw?

Nicole had me cracking up throughout the whole story. Nicole's commentary was even better than the sex.

great invention great narrative an d great ending

Kiss cam is a 5:1 better story!

I loved the story idea and the characters, esspecially Nicole. the hate and the inner dialoge made this one of the more unique and enjoyable stories i have read on here. easily five stars in my book.

After six reads, this is still one of my favorite stories! :)

Having read this, I'm now going to read A Vision of God. And now for something completely different...........

The sister is a complete and total bitch, no cunt and a whore on top of that. I hope the brother gets tested for stds after putting his dick in his cum dumpster of a sister. No need for a follow up on this story because there is no way to redeem the sister here and the only direction to take Aaron's character is as a cuckold bitch and that story would suck. I like your other stories but this one sucked. 1 star

A wild ride for sure. You took the story farther than I thought.

Didn't really care for the ending

Seems like such a hollow victory. Annnnd pretty sure he could fuck again.

What a smart girl. With a quick mind, with which she easily beats her fellow players to the wall. A character you rarely, if ever, meet here. I like Nicole, it's good to have such a smart woman on side.

Loved the build up and the completion! Would've loved to see her do more to torment the girls (Beth and Rachel) afterwards. The ending felt rush and flat, but otherwise this was a perfect story!

What a play by play of the actual sex and fantastic build up. Six stars if I could give it that score.

The story is pretty fun. What's really amazing is Nicole's character however. She completely steals the show.

Seeing all the hate in some of these comments really says more about the commenter than the story, the characters or the author. I love Nicole's character - it's a lot more believably written than many of the women in the stories on this site and reminds me a lot of a woman I dated once (though she was about twice Nicole's age at the time and 10 yrs older than me, so add all that snark and wit to an extra 20 years of experience...). I'm definitely gonna go read some of your other stories.

Hated it. But, technically well written. Just pissed me off. But fuck, maybe that was the goal. Whatever. I don't know how to rate this. Ah, fuck, what a pisser.

Religion beats chlorine every time.

This is my favorite story on L. Hands down.

Fucking awsome. Please more like that.

That's so sick, in the good sense of the word

Fucking AWSOME! First read I couldn't go fast enough! Read it again slow so I could cum all over myself! Brilliant!

It was okay.