Knockers

About that time I looked around and saw Tracy come through the door. I don't know why but my heart skipped a beat. She came up to all of us standing there. I couldn't help but put my arms around her and give her a hug.

When I let her go, she had tears in her eyes. "It's so good to see you again. Maybe if we get a chance we can talk later," said Tracy.

"I'd like that," I replied."

Julie said it was time for the rehearsal. We were all going over what we would be doing but I couldn't get my mind off of Tracy. I was paired with her sister but that was only walking down the aisle. Her boyfriend Jim was an usher, so I knew they would be together at the reception.

After the rehearsal, all of the wedding party went out to dinner together. Dad was paying for this dinner. I drove over by myself, seeing I had my own car. The restaurant had a buffet. I saw Todd and Julie in a booth with Erin and Jim. Mom and Dad were at a table with my older brother Bob and his wife Karen. Their three kids sat at a table of their own.

As I was looking around for a place to sit, I heard a voice behind me, "Please come and sit with me." It was Tracy.

"I'd love to!" I responded.

We sat down in a booth by ourselves. I saw Mom smile when she saw Tracy and I together. We got up and got our food and sat back down. Dad wasn't paying for booze, so we ordered a soda.

"Tracy, I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I know he didn't like me but he was probably just protecting you. If I knew I would have come to the funeral."

"Thank you. He wasn't that bad of a dad, except when he told me to give up our baby. I still wish I would have said 'No' to him and moved out. I still regret my decision. I know it hurt Mom also. It would have been her grandchild. I was only three months along so no one else even knew except for Erin."

"I should have been there for you and I wasn't. My life hasn't been the same since. Are you married? I see a ring on your finger."

She smiled at me. "No, I got tired of being hit on all the time and it helps deter some men. Others don't seem to care if a woman is married or not."

I know I wouldn't be able to tell her much about my past. Half or more of my sexual encounters were with married women. She asked me about my life since leaving the service and I told her about my job.

"So, you've never gotten married?" she asked me.

"Tracy, to be honest, I've never found the right women. I've dated a lot but staying away from any commitments."

"I'm pretty much the same. My problem is I keep waiting for the perfect guy. When I was a lot younger I thought I had met him but things didn't work out." I saw her look down at her plate. I was pretty sure she was talking about me.

"Things change, maybe things will work out for you yet." I took one of her hands in mine. She smiled at me.

About that time everyone started to get up and get ready to leave. We got up and I gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow," I said.

I walked her to her car and headed over to Mom and Dad's to spend the night. Mom told me it was nice seeing Tracy and me together. She always liked Tracy and Erin. I told Mom it was nice seeing her too, and that she is as beautiful as ever. I headed up to the spare room to get some sleep.

It didn't happen. I tossed and turned all night. I couldn't get my mind off of Tracy. I wondered what it would be like to hold her and dance with her and even make love to her. We were so young when we were last together. I finally must have dozed off some time. I woke up with Todd getting me up. He was all excited; he kept saying he was getting married today.

Chapter two:

"Neil, I'm sorry for not telling you about Tracy. I know the two of you broke up when you went in the service. No one would tell me any more since then; I hope there isn't a problem. She seems nice to me and often asks about you."

"It's ok, Todd. Believe it or not, I was happy to finally see her. Brings back some nice memories. Is there any problem if I sit next to her at the reception? I think Erin would prefer to be with Jim."

"No problem, Erin and Tracy asked Julie the same thing. Maybe this isn't so bad after all." Todd hit me on my arm and told me to get up. Mom was making us breakfast and then we had to get ready for the wedding.

I walked down the aisle with Erin. We took our spots in front of the church. Next I saw Tracy coming up the aisle with my brother Bob. She looked so damn beautiful. She was looking right at me and smiling.

Julie looked great and my little brother had tears in his eyes. He whispered to me that this was the greatest day of his life. I really felt happy for him. During his vows I was thinking about Tracy. Could we get back together after all these years?

At the reception I did get seated next to Tracy at the head table. She looked at me and said, "I asked Julie if I could sit next to you and she said she would talk to Todd." I was smiling. "Why are you smiling?" she asked me.

"I asked Todd the same question." We both had a short laugh. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

Tracy took me to meet her mother. Tracy walked away for a minute as I talked to her mother. I told her I was sorry for her loss. I also asked her if she had a problem with me being with Tracy.

"Tracy's a big girl and has been making her own decisions for a long time. Do I mind you two being together again? Not at all, just please don't hurt her, she's been through a lot."

I gave Mrs. Cook a kiss on the cheek and walked up and took Tracy by the hand and headed for the dance floor. I loved holding her in my arms. I honestly wasn't sure what I was doing. It seemed the years we were apart just melted away.

I was surprised that Tracy knew so many people. Of course I forgot that she never left the area except to go to college. A number of men came and said hi to her. She introduced me as an old friend. Some of these men asked her to dance. I was a little upset seeing her in someone else's arms.

I sat with her mother and even danced with her. When I asked about some of the men Tracy was dancing with her mother said, "I'll be honest with you. She's dated some of these men through the years. Two had asked her to marry them. She always told them she was sorry, she liked them as friends but was waiting for the right guy."

"Am I the right guy?" I asked Mrs. Cook.

"She never told me, Neil; I don't really know."

I thought to myself, "Is it even possible that Tracy might have held a torch for me all these years?"

After the wedding, I told her I wanted to be with her. She told me that things were going a little too fast. It was a shock just seeing me again. It brought back a lot of memories, both good and bad. I knew what she meant, I was feeling the same way.

I asked her if she wanted to come to my parents' house the next day. Erin and Todd were going to open their presents at the house before leaving for their honeymoon. I would be heading for home shortly afterwards. She said she would be there.

I gave her and her mother a hug before they left for home. I wanted to hold her and kiss her but she was right. It was just going too fast for both of us. I was the guy who wasn't ready for commitment.

The next day all my family along with Julie's family met at Mom and Dad's. They began opening gifts, and all the women would woo and ah at every gift. I could have cared less what they got. I was sitting next to Tracy and that's all I cared about.

My brother opened a present and Julie asked what it was. They got it from some of Todd's work buddies. It was a door knocker very similar to mine. "What is that thing?" asked Julie.

"It's a door knocker," replied Todd. "You grab the balls to knock on the door."

"You're not going to put that on our front door," replied Julie. Everyone was laughing.

Julie offered it to Jim but Erin said, "No way!"

Then she offered it to me but Todd spoke up. "Neil already has one just like it. Don't you, Neil?"

I felt a bit stupid but told them I did. Tracy stared at me for a moment. Then she said, "This I have to see! You actually have that hanging on your door? Do people actually use it?"

"Yes and yes. A friend bought it for me as a joke and I put it up, and yes people who come over use it. It fact it's something of a conversation piece. Look how everyone here is talking about it."

Erin's boyfriend Jim spoke up. "Can I have it Julie? I'd think my dad would get a kick out of it. I can see him putting it on his garage door."

"It's all yours, Jim. Hope your dad gets a kick out of it." Erin just shook her head and smiled.

After all the gifts were opened, I had to get ready to head home. Tracy walked me to my car. I had no idea what I was doing. I was expecting to come to my brother's wedding, party a little, and maybe find a good looking woman and get laid.

Instead I came across the only woman I ever cared for, and hadn't seen in nine years. I was at my car and lost for words.

"Will I ever see you again?" asked Tracy, with watery eyes.

"Oh, God, I have feelings inside of me that I forgot were even there. Tracy, I really care for you but I'm no good. All I do is party, drink beer and smoke weed."

"That's because you never found the right woman. What do you say we give it a chance? Call me and maybe we can see each other once in a while. Besides, I want to see this door knocker in action." She was smiling at me.

"Is it all right to kiss you goodnight?" I asked.

Before I could even get it all out she pressed her lips against mine. It was a long way from a peck. I held her in my arms and we kissed passionately. I didn't want it to stop. When we separated, she had tears in her eyes.

"I never stopped loving you, you know. Please call me," she said as she walked away.

I got in my car and headed home. My mind was a complete mess. What was I doing? I've always said I wasn't the marrying kind. As I drove, tears would come into my eyes, but I shook them away.

When I got home I called Tracy. When she answered the phone my heart beat hard. "Tracy, I want to see you again. When can we get together?"

"Who is this?" she laughed. She knew it was me. "Since it's summer I'm off for the next couple of months. I'm a teacher you know. What do you have in mind?"

"Anything, everything, I want to know if the way I feel right now is real. It's a four-hour drive to your place. What do you say we meet half way, say in Columbus? We can have dinner and take in a movie. Let's say next Friday."

"Ok, but no sex. I need to know that your feelings are real and that we belong together. Can you agree to that?"

I was stumped for a moment, but realized she was right. I needed to know that it was more about Tracy thaen it was about sex. We made the date. I called her twice that week to confirm our date.

The date went great. We met at a Mexican restaurant, had a couple of Margaritas and a nice dinner. We went to the movies and saw a chic flick and ate popcorn together. I put my hand on her leg. She left it there for a couple of minutes before slapping it.

"Neil, you have to understand this is as hard on me as much as it is for you. It's been nine years and I never got you out of my mind. God knows I tried but there just wasn't anyone else. I'm not talking about sex because we were just kids. I'm talking about the feelings I carried in my heart all these years."

After our date I walked her back to her car. We kissed again and again. I even slipped my hand down to her ass and pulled her against me. She wouldn't let me go any further.

I told her I didn't like the idea of her driving home by herself late at night. She told me she went to college in Columbus and made the drive a hundred times.

We kissed one more time and I watched her drive away. My heart was pounding. I knew deep down in my heart that I loved Tracy.

I called her three times the following week and asked her about getting together the following weekend. "I'm sorry Neil, but I have a commitment and can't make it this weekend; maybe next week."

The first thing that came into my mind was that she had another date. I was afraid to ask her. I think she felt the worry in my voice.

"Neil, it's not another man. I'm not going to date anyone but you. I need to know if what we think we have between us is real and not just some hopeful thoughts. By the way, please, no more weed. You can have all the beer you want but not the weed."

"I haven't smoked any since the wedding. I'm trying to change, I want to be with you. Will I see you next week?"

"I hope so. Do you have two bedrooms in your apartment? I was thinking of coming to see you."

"You're kidding! You're going to come here and spend the night? I have a nice couch that I can sleep on. You can have my bed. One of my friends is having a party. Would you like to go to it? It's on Saturday."

"Yeah, I'd like to meet some of your friends. I will be there Friday night. That will give you plenty of time to clean the place up." I could hear her laughing but she was right. I kind of lived like a pig. I had run away from the forced neatness of the service long before.

I talked to her a few times during the following week. I spent all my free time cleaning the apartment. By Thursday night I had it cleaned up pretty good. I was a nervous wreck all day Friday. I had a hard time keeping my mind on my job. Finally I got home and cleaned up. I got out of the shower and put on a pair of shorts when I heard a knock on the door.

I rushed to open it and there stood Tracy. "You're right, the door knocker is quite different. It feels odd grabbing a guy by the balls and banging them against a wooden door." She was laughing.

When she stepped in the apartment I kissed her. I showed her to the bedroom and carried in her suitcase. I do have to say I felt quite odd. I told her I would finish getting dressed and we could head out for dinner.

We went to the Longhorn Steakhouse, had a couple of drinks and dinner, then headed back to my apartment. It was getting late and she slipped on her baby doll pajamas. I didn't have any pajamas and would just sleep in my briefs.

"Am I safe in sitting here next to you like this?" she asked.

I responded by saying, "Only because I love you." I was shocked when I said it. I've never told any woman that I loved her. I might have said I loved the sex or something like that but never that I loved them.

It took Tracy by surprise almost as much as I surprised myself. She acted like she didn't hear it but we both knew she did. She quickly grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

We talked about different things, our likes and dislikes. It was surprising how much we really had in common. We began kissing and before long I was feeling her breasts on the outside of her pajamas. She felt so good.

When I went to slide my hand inside her pajamas she said, "Please don't, not tonight". I could feel she was battling her own feelings. If she were any other woman I would have probably not listened to her pleas but I would never do anything to Tracy against her will.

She got up and kissed me tenderly, said goodnight and that she would see me in the morning. I watch TV till I finally fell asleep.

I woke up in the morning to hot coffee. I had gone shopping the day before to make sure I had a little food in the house. Tracy asked me if I would like some bacon and eggs. She was surprised I had them. She told me she figured I had just bought them, seeing neither package was opened. She knew me well.

I got off the couch, still only in my briefs, took her in my arms and kissed her. I felt her braless chest press against my naked chest. "I wish I could hold you all day long," I said to her.

She backed away. I could tell she was a bit flustered but tried to act normal. "What kind of eggs do you want?" she asked.

"Scrambled is fine. I'll make us some toast," I said, as I took out some bread.

I was realizing that if Tracy and I were to get together this would be what our life would be like without the sex. I loved her being near me. I guess time would tell if we were to be together.

"What kind of party are we going to?" asked Tracy.

"It's a friend of mine's birthday. He turned thirty today. His wife is throwing him a party. They have a pretty big house. They'll be drinking and dancing. Nothing really special."

"Do you normally take dates to the parties you go to?" Damn, no wonder she was a teacher. She was smart.

"No, I'm pretty much a loner. Sometimes I might have met up with someone but nothing serious."

"Nothing serious in like nothing happened, or nothing serious like it was just sex?"

"Tracy, do we need to go there? Look, I don't have any girlfriends. Yes I've had sex in the last nine years but I never found the woman I would want to marry. What about you and other guys?"

"I've dated quite a few men but only a couple was I anywhere near serious about. Two did propose to me. Both were at your brother's wedding. They asked about you and I told them I wasn't sure but that I wouldn't date anyone else till I've given us a chance."

I gave her a kiss and asked her if she would like a tour of the city before we went to the party. She said she would love a personal tour. She told me I could clean up the mess since she did the cooking. She was going to take a shower. She looked back at me staring at her ass as she walked toward the bathroom.

She came out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around her. She headed to the bedroom. When she closed the door it didn't close all the way. I couldn't help but watch through the crack as she dropped her towel. She was so beautiful.

Her breasts were large for her small frame. They looked firm like she wouldn't need a bra. Her tummy was flat and she had one beautiful ass. When she turned around she had a trimmed and beautiful bush.

As she was dressing she said, "I know you're there. A little privacy please. You saw all there was to see."

I walked back in the kitchen to get another cup of coffee and finish cleaning up from breakfast. I was still in my briefs and walked into the bedroom. She was sitting on the bed dressed and combing her hair.

"Mind if I get dressed?" I asked.

"Not at all. Don't worry, I won't peek." She laughed because she could see me in the mirror. I slipped off my briefs and quickly put on a clean pair. I continued dressing and was done in a few minutes.

I drove around town and showed her where I was working. Since I worked for the State I was always in new locations. We were resealing a new highway right now. After that, I showed her a few of the sights in town and we headed to the mall.

I was never much of a shopper but I didn't mind just being with Tracy. We bought Jim a birthday present and ended up eating a small lunch before taking in a movie. I told her we didn't need to go to the party and could just go back to the apartment.

"No, I want to meet some of your friends. Is there anything you need to tell me before we get there?"

"Some drink a lot, and so don't believe everything you hear. Some of the guys, even the married ones, are kind of flirty. If anyone tries to touch you, I'll break his fingers."

"I'll be fine. How are you going to introduce me as? An old friend? A high school sweetheart, your latest girlfriend or just a girl you picked up?"

"I don't know. What would you prefer?" I asked.

"Oh no! This is your decision," replied Tracy.

When we arrived at the apartment there were about thirty people there. I think we were the last to arrive. Cindy answered the door in tight shorts and greeted me with a hug and a kiss. She looked a bit shocked when she saw Tracy.

"My God, I can't believe you have a date," remarked Cindy. "You never have brought a date as far back as I can remember."

"Cindy, this is my girlfriend Tracy; Tracy, Cindy is Jim's wife. She's the party hostess."