All Comments on 'Lady in Red Ch. 08'

Lady in Red or is it "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton"

I'm surprised at Gwen's behavior, talk about doing a 360. I hope her stardom doesn't cause her to be worse then she is now.

lisa or kate might be the right one for steve.gwen to inmature for steve.

Paula at least owes Steve her best blow job.

Lisa seems more a match for Steve.

Your story is an enjoyable read. Looking forward to where this may all lead

Thanks.

You get us all hot and bothered, and then switch to something else. The density of relevant incidents is very high. The way she is behaving, Gwen, if she was a mature lady would be shown the road. But!! She is a high school senior.... and they are just beginning to learn the ropes. Full marks for Linda... Paula should have reacted more to Gwen's behaviour .

Two other brief comments, the lack of reaction by the hotel management surprised me, and Amber's behaviour considering that she has a fiancé is not acceptable.

Great feel good story.

Not that anyone here cares, but I've finally thrown in the towel. The story line was sort of interesting, completely unrealistic fantasy, but interesting. The dialog, though is beyond my ability to endure any longer. I don't know anyone who talks like those in this story "talk". It is like it was written in the 18th Century. The HDK cult, I'm sure, think this is like it was carved in stone. I'd rather read something more civilized.

reading this thing is becoming a chore. childish story and writing.

WTF/ I gave it a 5 because I'm sure dear annony gave it a 1

this story is completley unrealistic and there is no way in hell that gwin could have such a big personality change so fast.

I had been liking this, but it's getting pretty hard to read. Perky and wholesome is refreshing, but too much is too much.

BUT it's just one chapter in a really great yarn! As for being believable - IT'S FICTION.

It's fun , but if it's too much pick another story.

it didn't need a negative element added

Yes, it did.

I keep waiting for Andy Griffith and Donna Reed to enter the story. I think Doby Gillis talked more naturally.

Yes the speech is straight out of the tutorials, in the section "Do not do this"

Yes hero and heroette are almost to teen age.

Yes they are our sweet family TV hour, about some tweenies, and we cringe on every paragraph at the language.

But curiosity keeps me going where others fear to go.

Complete personality change of your character on the flimsiest of reasons... Simply for the sake of a new plot direction... Great writers can subtly change direction so that you don't realize it until you're halfway into it... This hits you over the head with an unrealistic plot device... And commenters are right... The dialogue is juvenile.. I've started to skim... If it stays this bad I'll probably skip to the end... Jmo

-jaye-

This is way out of line. The writer has made the characters totally unbelievable. I don't even want to see what's next since it can't be real. Don't understand how this writer can keep up with this garbage.

I've liked the story up till now. You're making the main girl extremely obnoxious and not very likeable. You feel sorry for her early on and now you begin to hate her. She's just like all the others that she despises. I'm not crazy about the way you're portraying her. Star-struck or not, a good person would respect their loved ones feelings. ESPECIALLY when several people have made comments about her behavior already .

Once again Qwen shows her true nature.

I keep coming back to this story, thinking I'll just read the hilites, but I find it so well written that I can't put it down then Nick Fallon appears and I skip a page.

Get rid of Gwen pls

more filler.

Steve gets treated like tis after saving her Mother . Kick Gwen to the Curb

Immature Gwen is going to find out the hard way but I'm surprised she's let this go to her head and neither her mother or father have had words with her.

I did not favorite this story because it certainly reflects the complaints of several other posters: you've penned Gwen to be the most level-headed and mature one of the whole bunch...but just because a star's coming to town she completely loses her head?!?? No one denies that some indeed do overreact to "star power," BUT both Gwen and Steve are STARS in their own little city (sounds like Monroe, LA)--and to top it off, Steve just seriously disabled 2 would-be rapists that would have carnally enjoyed Paula for kicks. The other thing is that not even Lifetime nor Hallmark would call about such an event just months after it happened and make a movie about it; many of the best "true story" films we have waited 10-15 years before seeing the light of day. This may be fiction and require suspending some belief to a point...but even fiction must bow to fact and reflect enough of real-life events or it gets binned.

So you have both Lisa and Charlotte giving Gwen the riot act, yet she's acting ditzy?!?? I would say structurally the story lacks Kate's vehement defense of Steve at this point, because she will NOT hold back one iota on what she thinks about Gwen's about-face "ga-ga."

Don't abandon well-established character traits the story already established and stay true to what can be read as a plausible arc. Given how much this deviates from the norm, it's a 3.

This is the second time you have painted Gwen as an immature girl. This time it seems a bit over the top

You told how smart Gwen was and now for the second time you portray her as a simpering immature idiot who has no relationship skills at all.

Steve should ditch her and go with Lisa just to teach Gwen the lesson she needs to learn.

Without those life lesson are dreams are just that, dreams.

5/5

So Gwen is the villian in this tale. Make up your damn mind dear author.

4 Stars as Steve is letting her humiliate him . Kick Gwen to the curb and check out your choices . I was married for 2 years and then My ex's high school Boy Friend showed up . It took me awhile to catch them but I did get some great pictures of them together . I threatened to send copies to her family . She did not believe had them until her family got copies .