Laura

Now, I'm not a psychiatrist but I figured that there was a certain amount of creative effort being expended here to try to convince me that were we to get marriage counselling and Laura to get mental health therapy that we could put all this behind us. Failing that the big losers in the divorce would be our kids who wouldn't have both parents with them daily to raise and guide them. Yeah.

So, we started the dance. The judge (a very matronly woman of about 60 years old) gave Laura the benefit of the doubt on the mental health claim and ordered that all divorce actions would be put off until the end of the marriage counselling and until there was a report from Laura's mental health therapist. Until then Laura was allowed to remain in our home and of course with our children. No other actions to divide things up were to happen until those two things were completed. Jordan knew this was coming and had told me beforehand what he figured was going to play out with the judge. We all sat around a conference table vice a courtroom for this and at the end I went outside with Jordan to talk about the way ahead. His advice: do nothing, go to the marriage counselling and see how that played out. He reminded me that at the end of the day I would have my divorce but this was all to position Laura to have custody of the kids, the house, and a big chunk of my income to support her. Be patient and I would get what I want.

**********

Four months later

Rob

Well, I went to twelve marriage counselling sessions and poured out what I knew, and what I wanted. The marriage therapist (another lovely lady in her 60s with a huge mane of white hair - Dr Snow - go figure) spent many hours discussing our individual need for validation and to having us understand that we as individuals have complex needs that we often ignore when we are married for a few years and have children and careers and busy lives. I had a pretty good idea that I was being set up to take a fall here. That I had unconsciously ignored Lauras needs essentially forcing her to turn to another man to have those intimacy issues fulfilled because I wasn't doing the job. It was all worded very nicely but the fault was with me and Laura deserved to have the intimacy that she needed with another man. It was all bullshit.

I made notes from most of the sessions and passed them to Jordan, who planned to call Dr. Snow to the family law court at an appropriate time.

At one of the sessions I made a point of talking about what modern marriage looked like in the 21^st century. I posited the question: did the promise to 'forsake all others' hold water considering the supposed new-age attitude to fidelity? Dr. Snow looked very uncomfortable at that question and noticeably squirmed in trying to answer.

Her answer tried to say that 'some infidelity' was fine if agreed on by both parties; but then it was technically an 'open marriage.' I went back and asked if one party concealed the fact that they were having sex with someone else, was that okay? Dr. Snow tried to change the subject by saying that was one of the objectives of marriage counselling, to address the imbalance between the actions of the marriage partners. I pressed her: was it acceptable behaviour to conceal that infidelity? She knew full-well that it was not but tried to pivot by saying that our time was up and to assign us homework. Yes, homework. We were to make time to talk about the issue of trust and how we might improve on trust between us. Yeah, right.

**********

Laura

My temporary reprieve is going quickly and I'm no nearer getting Rob to drop his divorce petition. We haven't been in the same bed for many months and certainly have not had sex. The marriage counselling isn't working and my individual visits with a psychologist haven't panned out like my lawyer suggested. The doctors report essentially said that I'm not crazy and that I fully understood what I was doing with Trey and that I acted, not out of any mental health issue, but for a selfish need to have sex with a man with a very large penis. Also,that I ignored the consequences of my actions until Rob filed for divorce. I'm not suffering any mental health crisis, I'm just stupid. Great. Fuck.

**********

Rob

Jordan has gotten a time with the family law judge to get things moving. Until now no mention has been made about which one of us gets custody of the kids. To me, that's the guts of this divorce.

We arrived at the conference room ready to lay out the issues and make my case for custody. To start things off we called Dr. Snow, the marriage counsellor, to report on the outcome of the twelve tortuous sessions of nonsense. Jordan asked her to report the outcome of the sessions. She turned to the judge and gave a synopsis that essentially said I was reluctant to share my feelings and thus the root causes of our marital 'issues' was not properly revealed. Jordan Jumped up on that one. The judge intervened right off. "Counsellor, no need to stand in this court to ask questions."

Jordan nodded but I could tell he was keen to get at it. "Dr. Snow, let me ask this. Did Laura Brady tell you why she felt the need to have sex outside her marriage?"

"Well, that is not a straight-forward question. You see human needs are very complex and what we need in order to thrive is driven by those complex needs."

"So, she needed sex with another man?"

"Well, yes, but it's not as simple as you make it sound."

"Please tell us how complex the issue was for Laura Brady."

"Well...Laura's needs for self-actualization and development drove her desire to move beyond the mundane existence that her family represents for her."

Quick tutorial:

Self-actualization, in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, is the highest level of psychological development, where personal potential is fully realized after basic bodily and ego needs have been fulfilled. Self-actualization was coined by the organismic theorist Kurt Goldstein for the motive to realize one's full potential: "the tendency to actualize itself as fully as possible is the basic drive... the drive of self-actualization." Carl Rogers similarly wrote of "the curative force in psychotherapy - man's tendency to actualize himself, to become his potentialities... to express and activate all the capacities of the organism."

"So, you're saying that Laura was bored with her husband and her life and that is what caused her to have a lengthy sexual affair with Treyvon Williams?"

Dr. Snow got a bit flustered. Jordan glanced at the judge, who both the question and the non-answer were not lost on.

"Let me re-phrase the question Dr. Snow. Was Laura's method of achieving self-actualization respectful of her husband and children?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Well, the need for self-actualization does not automatically imply the need for sex with others outside the marriage, does it?"

"Well, no..."

"So, would it have rendered a better outcome for Laura to go to Robert and tell him straight up of her need for a sexual relationship with Treyvon Williams?"

"Again, that would be between Laura and her husband."

"Did she ever tell him her plans to have sex with Treyvon Williams?"

"Well, she did, eventually."

"And that was just before she planned to spend a full weekend with Treyvon Williams and his friends. Well into the time that Laura and he were having regular sexual relations?"

"Ah...I suppose it was."

"So, Laura hid her relationship with Treyvon Williams for several months, over a year in fact. Does that suggest that Laura respects or disrespects her husband?"

"Well, it all depends..."

"Depends on want Dr, Snow?"

"Well..."

"Never mind doctor, it's very clear to everyone in this room that Laura Brady was openly disrespectful to her husband Robert Brady and their children Gracie and Andy. I don't have any more questions for you at this time."

Dr. Snow stood up and looked at the judge, who looked at Laura's lawyer and asked if she had any questions. She didn't so Dr. Snow was allowed to leave but was cautioned that she might be recalled for further testimony. She picked up her briefcase and ran from the room.

**********

Laura

The marriage counsellors report and the mental health therapists report did me no favours. I wanted this whole thing to end so I could go home. The judge called a break and I stood up to go talk to Rob. I was going to plead with him to end this and for us to go back to being a family. I wanted my kids and my normal life again. I knew now that being with Trey, no matter how good he was, was a mistake. I knew that I didn't have a future with him so I needed to find a way of salvaging my family. My mother had talked to me (or at me) several times and told me that I was stupid and needed to get on my knees and beg if I wanted a shred of a chance to save my marriage.

After the break, Rob's lawyer gave the judge detailed records of every time that he knew I was with Trey, along with every event in our family life and the kids activities that I had missed. I did not come out looking good in that comparison. My lawyer tried to argue that notwithstanding that I had spent some time with Trey, I was still a good mother and that the kids needed to be with me and have my motherly influence in their lives. The expression on the judge's face foretold her thoughts on that issue.

Rob's lawyer provided the judge with Rob's plan for the care of children and even offered that I would have a big amount of time with them but that Rob would be the custodial parent.

The judge looked at my lawyer and asked if we had anything else to provide to the court to aid the judge in making a decision. Since we didn't, things wrapped up and everyone left. I wanted to talk to Rob but he left in a hurry with his lawyer. I was still living at home so I figured I could talk to him later. Yeah.

**********

Rob

I got home from the family law court session and gathered up the kids and we headed out for food. They didn't ask where their mother was and I didn't offer up anything about her. I figured she'd run to her boyfriend to try to talk to him, but he'd cooled it with Laura for a while now. I was keen to get on with the final stages of this shit-show. I wanted the judge to put the stamp of approval on the settlement plan I proposed and let me get on with life.

**********

Two weeks later

Rob

I'm back at the family law court with Jordan and Laura is here with her legal-eagle. I'm really hoping that things get finalized today.

When the court was called to order, the judge thanked us all for being patient for the last two weeks while she reviewed all the documents that we all presented to support our individual positions in this matter. Sounded all very formal and antiseptic and I confess that I wasn't listening too closely to what she was saying. Thankfully Jordan was because he nudged me with his elbow and motioned for me to listen to what was being said.

I was off in my own world and reliving all shit that Laura had created with fucking around with Treyvon Williams. The disrespect, the abandonment, the ignoring of her children. If she wanted a different husband she should have said so two years ago and we could have avoided a lot of misery, but no, she didn't do that. She concealed her cheating and at the same time put my health at risk of an STD from Treyvon Williams. Nice wife she is.

I re-focused and listened. I was glad I did. I got almost everything I wanted. The most important part was custody of the kids and we get to stay in the house. Since I make more than Laura, I'll be largely responsible for the mortgage but she has to pay monthly child maintenance costs. In reality for her not that much in terms of money because the judge ruled that she could have very liberal visitation and thus that would incur it's own expenses. In essence I pay for everything that I'm paying for now and Laura has to fork over some money for the education accounts. I consider that a win.

The judge gave Laura thirty days to find a place to live and said that the divorce would be final on that date.

Holy fuck!

I thanked the judge who smiled at me and nodded and then I vigorously shook hands with Jordan and gave him a hug of thanks.

As I was leaving the conference room I made a point of stopping to talk to Laura. I hadn't been talking to her much in the last months, other than about the kids or the house or family business.

"We need to be together when we tell the kids that you're moving out. When are you available to do that?"

She was looking at the floor as she replied, "Why not do it this weekend."

"Alright." I left it at that and drove home. Laura arrived not five minutes after me and we actually sat at the kitchen table and looked at one another for the first time in a while.

"So, how do you want to tell the kids that their mother is going to go live someplace else?". Then I added, "Are you moving in with Treyvon Williams?"

Laura's head snapped up to look at me. "No! No Trey."

"Have you given any thoughts to where you want to live? What kind of place: house or a condo or a rental?"

She exhaled at that thought. "No, not really. I suppose I'll need to start looking."

We were quiet for a few moments and then Laura asked, "Rob, sweetie, is there any way, any way at all that you think you might be able to forgive me for my stupidity and we can remain married? I'll do whatever it takes to keep my family?"

I took a drink of my beer. "Jesus, Laura! How many days and nights did you spend with Treyvon? Did you ever think, when you were with him, that that was a good thing for our marriage?". I paused and took another drink. "Nothing about wanting him has changed, has it? You would still want to be in his bed if he would let you. You made your choice and it wasn't me." I took another drink and finished off the beer. Damn, IPAs are good. I got up and went to the refrigerator and got another. Laura was still silent.

"How do you think it feels to think that your wife of nine years thinks of you as inadequate? That she would rather spend time with another man, in his bed, and let that husband carry on thinking that he had a wife that was keeping her family first in her priorities. But I didn't have that. I had a wife that sought out another man for sex and then I had a wife that flaunted it in my face. Fuck!"

I got my breath, lowered my voice, and added, "So, right now, I don't see how you can 'fix' all the shit that you've created. You poisoned that water hole (thank you Woody). You've got a month to sort out finding a place to live." I walked away.

**********

Rob

The talk with the kids went about as well as I expected. The biggest concern that they had was whether or not they would have to move. When I told them that they weren't moving they looked at their mother who told them that she was the one that would be moving. Laura told them that she was still going to be around them a lot but that she was going to go live in a new house and that they would have a room to sleep in when they were with her. The kids looked at me to see if this was actually the truth and when I nodded they looked at each other.

Gracie looked at her brother and then me and said that their biggest concern was going to be losing their friends or going to a different school if they had to move. Again, I reassured them that moving wasn't going to happen. I could see the relief on their faces. It was all good.

**********

Laura

I started apartment hunting. I figured that I'd try and get a place close to work and maybe I could keep my expenses down by not having to drive there and pay for parking. Rob offered up any furniture in the house that I wanted.

I noticed that he was starting to edit out things from our marriage. Photos of just the two of us before the kids were taken off the walls. Our large wedding photo got taken off the family room wall. That did hurt to see it gone. I don't know where it went and didn't ask.

Trey avoided me at work. I knew that he had a new woman in his life and bed. I was yesterdays old news and treated like that by him. I did miss him. I missed the feel of him in me. Right now I had nothing. I missed the feel of Rob too. I missed the feel of him in the bed next to me at night. I used to feel safe with him next to me. His arm would be around my waist and he would hold me next to him as we slept. I hadn't felt that for a long time now. I used to feel his love whenever we made love. He's always careful and tender with me, almost like he thinks I'll break if he's too rough. That's the thing; I wanted it rough sometimes and that's what I got from Trey. Not anymore. Now, I not getting anything from either of them.

I put a deposit on a two bedroom apartment in a brand new building about four blocks from the bank. There was a problem. It wasn't going to be available for occupancy until after the final date of our divorce. That night when I got home I tried to talk to Rob about a possible extension to when I was supposed to move out. Living in a hotel was going to be expensive and I wanted to try and stay in the house for as long as I could.

I had to get Rob back in my bed. That would stop the nonsense and we could get back to being a proper family.

**********

Rob

I heard a knock on the bedroom door and figured that it was Laura. "What?"

"May I come in?"

"What is it you want?"

The door opened a bit and I cold see Laura come in the room. She closed the door behind her and took off her T-shirt and shorts and stood there naked. So, two thoughts came into my mind at the same time. First, that this attempt to get back in my bed was way too late; it should have been a long time ago, well before she chose Treyvon Williams as the one that she wanted. She only wanted me as a safety net to pay the bills and do all the mundane day-to-day things that weren't him putting his dick in her pussy. Second, she still looked beautiful naked and that I was going to miss the intimacy that we once had. We hadn't shared any form of intimacy in so long that I had put it out of my mind and was trying to not think about her as the woman that I loved and would do anything for and loved touching and being touched by her. That was long dead and gone.

I looked at Laura and rolled over and pulled the duvet up around my neck. "Close the door on your way out."

I know that she stood there for a moment then picked up her clothes and put them on and quietly left the room.

**********

Laura

It's over. Rob doesn't want me. I'm damaged goods. I gave what I should have been giving to Rob, to Trey. I chose Trey too many times. Now, Trey doesn't want me. Things have gotten too complicated and he made it clear to me that he doesn't want me any more. My boss at the bank mentioned that they an opening at another branch in the city and that I should get to ready to start working there. When I told her that I was moving to an apartment nearby and that the other branch was on the other side of the city, she just looked at me and replied 'do you want a job or don't you?' She walked away.

So, I restarted the hunt for an apartment. When I told Rob that I was being moved to the other branch and that I would need more time to find another place to live, he merely looked at me and said, 'not my problem, you know when you have to be out,' and walked away.

I found a new apartment; it wasn't what I wanted but it meant an easy commute to work and it was large enough for the kids to stay with me when it was my time to have them. The new job was a lateral transfer and not the promotion that I wanted, but I had to take it. The people at the new branch all knew why I was there and I could see the looks that some of the women gave me. I heard that Trey had gotten a promotion into my old job at my former branch. Great.