All Comments on 'Life After Death Ch. 02'

Seriously scarred, he must have been shit on big time not to be able to talk about it at all. Looking foward to the rest. Thanks.

As we hang here from the cliff, we must note that our hero has scars inside and outside and does seem to hate his ex-wife more than the guy he almost beat to death. The story is smooth (except for some strange spelling) and well constructed.

<p>Interesting chapter, but again a <i>Cliff Hanger<i/>. I thought there'll be some information on Carol & why he hates her so much. It sound like he's <i>bruised<i/>badly by his ex-wife<p/><p> Pam is the best ointment & she won't turn her back once she'll come to know his past. Pam's got a lot of patients -- didn't she called him again & again, even when he never replied? She's been through hard times herself , so she will understand him <p/><p>Few spelling mistakes here & there, but a fine writing. Enjoyed it<p/>

Though it is taking a long time to get this show on the road. I think by now you have introduced all the characters.

Carol is fussy but I think that is good. SO GET ON WITH IT.

Awfully short considering the wait time for Chaptr 2. I love long stories just issue them quickly.

The emotional level of all fems is that for sure no matter how chronologically aged they are. It's therefore no wonder this puta writer writes from that state of mind.

errors. Not sure where the critiquer came in with the fem shots but couldnt be more off center if they tried. This girl has him staked out and claimed his only real way away from her is if he is still married. If so she will probably diasppear given her own track record. I still hate a woman I wasnt even married to and that has been twenty years now. Given the opportunity I would happily destroy her ego and sense of well being. Pure sluts have, whether they were before or not, care little or nothing at all for other around them although their words say otherwise. One saying I love you while fucking you over is not expressing truth. I dont like chapter stories they take to long to get out. If you are going to do them they need to be prewritten and put out one a day. I had to go and reread chapter one and that is a waste of time.

Please Write Faster!!!! Your writing has improved significantly. The characterization here is great. Yes ther are some minor stuff to fix, but keep it up. Faster Please!!!!

I like the story so far, but this male character may be a bit too emotionally scarred to ever realistically get over his first wife and what she did to him(and we all know what it is don't we). Some people can move on from a marriage that falls apart and some carry scars forever.

I say this only as a criticism of the story line, because if you construct a man that is too hurt and too full of anger the recovery becomes a bit unbelievable. Since this is erotic fiction, I will keep reading and look forward to the next chapter.

very boring, my guess is that this person is spiderman ho hum.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

If there are ONLY 3 chapters to this... then it seems to me that Chap3 is goin to have to be very Long given what did NOT happen here in Chapter 2. This chapter really didnt move the story along with respect to what Carol did to him.

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Sure this chapter is HOT and well written but given the amount of rage this guy has... again kudos to the author for doing this so well and NOT over doing it.. I am wondering if chapter 3 is going to be a bit rushed?

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The guy who was beaten up in Bar in chapter 1... clearly has somethig to do with what happened between the husband and his wife Carol.

As others have commented, we all want to know what happened to make Steve become what he is. There are some obvious clues here and there -- scars on his body suggest some horrific scene that involved his ex-wife and one or more others, with him getting surprised, beaten up, half-killed, or something along those lines. Obviously betrayed in his prior marriage, he has serious trust issues and has embraced the "isolationism" approach that mirrors the way some governments conduct their foreign relations after one or several bad experiences on the international front. Steve needs therapy badly, based on the character as developed so far, and Pam may or may not be a part of this. He needs to decide if he wishes to rejoin the living or remain a hermit, too fearful to take another chance on letting down his emotional barriers. I'm not sure that chapter 03 will be enough to complete everything that has been presented in this story, unless a rush ending or a very long chapter is presented. And of course, there is a saying that when you go out to seek revenge, remember to dig two graves . . . Please give us the next part soon.

Remember the last scene, Chapter 01-- the fight at the bar? Dan calls Steve "wimp" something about good lover or something like that & <b>That Night<b/><p>Remember what Steve replies -- something about <b>Body Builders<b/> & <b>GYM<b/> What I'm assuming is :-<p/><p>1. It has to do something with GYM<p/><p>2.A particular night<p/><p>3.Body Builders<p/><p>4.<b>TOM<b/> the name steve takes at the end of chapter 01. There has to be a link between Carol & Tom, Dan has to be Tom's buddy at the gym?<p/><p>I too feel that given the circumstances the 3rd chapter maybe rushed, but predictions can be wrong<p/>

killed them...i assume he was the one tha this ex carol cheated wuth ...if so yes he deserves to die ...but yes so does carol...then it truly does become a dead issue...great story so far ...keep it up

This chapter hardly adds anything to the first chapter. The story has not moved forward. The correct genre for this story ought to be romance and not loving wives. We do know that the hero is a burn case but this story is more about his finding second love than it is about his "Loving Wife". I am a fan but I am a little disappointed.

it has to be that way.

the story is coming together and it appears that the couple are well suited for each other. There is still the story of his history with "Carol." RAG

The glacial rate the plot is developing is grating.

Unlike a few others here, I enjoyed this chapter. I agree with Harry though, please don't rush through Chapter 3. The interaction with Nick was an excellent tool. Thanks, Ttom

the build up is too slow. I like the story line and am really looking forward to more. We need Steve to let Pam know what happened with Carol and to fully let her into his heart. Some revenge on Carol and, I assume her lover(s) would be good as well as, perhaps some counseling for Steve. Pam's TLC could be an enhancer also.

A good story,but it seems to be dragging a little. It's hard to keep the story in your mind with so long between postings.I think I'll wait until the whole story is posted and start over from chapter one. It's too well written and good of a story to let the time lapse between chapters to ruin the complete works. Thanks......Rich

You have taken us through two chapters, when one would have been enough. We still do not know what the basic conflict or issue is. We know that Carol is a ....What? We know that Pam is a probable slut. We know that Steve is a hot-headed, macho son-of-a-bitch.<p>

So does that make us want to know the "rest of the story?" Well, if the rest is as long-winded and drawn-out with no better results, I don't think so.<p>

I am sure that your purpose in keeping this dragging out is to induce readers to beg you for the gist of the story. This is, no doubt, a self-satisfying ego device for you, but most readers, I suspect, are not interested in satisfying your ego. Get some chippie to do that for you.<p>

If you can't move the story along better than you have so far, then forget it.

Like they've said, to fill in this hole you've dug will take some work, if it's only one chapter. Maybe it will be as long on completion as chapter two was short on build-up.

Steve still seems a hero worth saving, having just woken up to not wanting Pam out of his life. If anything can bring him back from the abyss of self-destruction, it will be her abstract way of counselling.

Suggestion to moving the plot a long way in hurry believably; get Steve and Pam going to dinner with Nick and Lisa! Lisa will blurb to Carol about the horny, gorgeous new chick in Steve's life and will set off the chain of events to the finale!! No detonator required..

Your writing is curious for the change of plotline pace and emphasis. This one needed consistency to maintain the power of the great opening scenes. Still it's very enjoyable and thank you.

is his incredible anger issues. Seriously, this could be a good story but you have some sort of fetish for trying to prove that "real men" beat the fuck out of people and never talk shit out. My dad taught me that there is a time for talk and when that doesn't work...then fight. This fucktard doesn't quite know that lesson does he?

People, people, people, It's a great story, just let it unfold.

You have written two chapters of everyday life with one fight. You are going nowhere fast. Good luck with 3.

Pam's a great character and you've developed her and the story at just the right pace...Mancelt.

It's Alfredo as in the name of a person and not alfrado, there is no such thing as an alfrado. You have a lot of other spelling mistakes, I think you spell as you pronounce. I suggest a $20 dictionary. Spell check won't help you because often it is the wrong word that is typed in the story, because it spells right.

1) he is male: most of us deal with anger through violence. Talking is not possible for males when angry. Trust me.

2) She (Carol) is female. He has enough sense of honour not to beat her up.

3) That causes repressed anger that he can only take out on the faggots

Everything is building up to the finale. Chapter 3 hopefully pulls everything togeher. We'll see...

i thought u wud drown me....hahaha what a wierd thing to say...loved it!!

This is a long buildup. I hope it is worth the wait.

Good story still

Could have named it I hate you carol.

the story to start. Everything so far could have been combined and still been short.

Another good read but you haven't advanced the story much further than end of ch 1; perhaps you should have combined ch 1 & 2. Also get another editor or helper, preferably someone who can spell & show you the difference between present & past tense. 4 ****

Since I do not remember the third chapter I feel fine about enjoying it and commenting again. The thing that worries me is that I find myself in complete agreement with Harry.

Really there are too many interesting things going on to wind up in one chapter!

I find Pam annoying as hell.

Yes, Pam is annoying.

Glad he finally got some payback.

Totally agree about Pam - extremely annoying. She must have one helluva body to put up with someone that demanding. And Carol ought to be buried somewhere already, the world doesn't need her offspring.

first shower with Pam, try "wringing" wet, like wring the towel dry--not ringing the bell in my ears. But that was years ago, but still stopped my read dead. JustJ

Spelling was wrong in many places. Please pay attention to what you are writing.

the chapter grow and new tales are bared, TK U MLJ LV NV

Enjoying it a lot, but it's slow going.

I haven't read the last chapter but this guy is a psychopath. Doesn't have anger issues? Yeah and the moon is made out of green cheese. He's a stick of dynamite waiting to go off. He nearly kills a couple of guys in a bar brawl. If I'm Pam I tell him to lose my number. No way any woman goes near him after seeing what he does to the men in the alley. And if I'm Carol, regardless of what she's done, she'd divorce his ass, move far, far away and change her name. It's guys like this that you read about in the news every day. He belongs in prison or 6 foot under. Ugly story about a sick, violent man.

Funny how anons love to criticize a free story. Keep writing.

Anom 8/30/18. You must think that you are some pro critic if you can judge a whole book from the second chapter. This is a great story by a VERY experienced, great writer. You see it takes a lot of thought, time, and words to develop a believable set of characters. Bet that is big news to you. Just because you couldn't jerk off to the first three paragraphs makes it a bad story, right?

Keep it up Slirpuff, great stuff.

detroitdave

Enjoying it more this time. Not going as slowly. Great story.

Keeping at 4 stars and betting on the come.

Nice suspenseful buildup. Really curious about how he got his butt headed to him.

Thanks for saving me the work, I wasn't going to be so gentle. I'm from 100 miles west of you and still miss Lions #20, Emmitt Smith owes him big time. Signed: BTW

I hope to hear more of Steve's story next chapter.

Should have told the police where to stick their batons.

Still good the second reading...

A very nice and realistic story⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I hate Carol too!

Good story from on of the great LW authors.

Still going strong with part 2.

Great stories still going good looking forward to the next chapter.

Hells bells anon...We all hate Carol. LP

Good continuation. Thanks for your writing.

Continues as another wonderful story from this fabulous author. And isn't it nice to see 26thNC write something good about one of the authors on this site. Bruno

My apologies for my previous comment it is clear now that this is a series and a bloody good one too. Thank you for all your efforts

PAM HAS HIM PUSSY-WHIPPED

"Cowards walk away. I was still trying to make it work," she told me. "You just don't book when things get tough. You sit down and work things out or at least try to anyway."

This is a brain-dead, asinine response. If you honestly believe walking away from a controlling, abusive partner is cowardice, fuck you.

I’m still here, let’s see where this story takes us⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️