All Comments on 'Life as a New Hire Ch. 28'

Definitely getting more intricate and involved. I am going to read it again and then add a few more comments. I think I read it to fast to have it all sink in.

Finally!

The world building is getting really good! As always, looking forward to the next installment.

Excellently intricate calm before the storm. I will also reread this- when I'm awake and perky. Thanks again for this chapter and again can't wait for the next.

I love how you are putting together more men than cael who are worth something more than sperm. But I kind of feel sorry for Vincent because I don't think that they will let him go after the war is done and if he survives.

Another awesome episode in this epic saga.

I'm truly impressed with the evolution of the story line. Going from "new on the job" to godsend arbiter of peace and order is quite a feat.

Looking forward to the next installment.

Only 5 pages?? FS you need to repost, there are some pages missing... I mean it's been what 3wks since the last chapter, and you tease us with this little 5 pager??

~GRINS~ Great work as always, can't wait for the next installment...

Looking from the outside many times you can think Cael fucked things up in big style, looking closer it's exactly the opus .Bringing Saku to the Host, he brought a mighty weapon and with the berseker Runners ... And the other side of the coin if somebody is stupid enough to attack his house , they better don't forget about Saku ( who isn't Cael 's doing but his grandfather's ).

A twist of irony can be if Vincent is a descendant of house Arinniti or Illunkamunus and this can save his life and morelike this he can speak his mind .

And the 7 Pillars are in deep ... The E&S are the heirs of the reasons why the Chinese built the Great Wall.

Nornir fyrirmæli þrengingunum

Örlögin okkar er ofið af nornir

Eins Bloodkin falla okkar í bardaga

Eins crofts okkar og hlöður brenna

Sem turn okkar eru battered niður

Við fögnum í lagnir starf til vopna

Við heita líf okkar fyrir Drottinn okkar og landi okkar

Við skerpa blöð okkar og pólskur Helms okkar

Við göngunni of gefa dauða og af þola dauða

Eftir skellur bardaga og skrikene í fjandmaður er

Eftir að við brenna líkið okkar og telja fallið hetjur okkar

Eftir endurbyggja aflinn og heimili og setja plóg til jarðar

Eftir að við munum sitja á aflinn og heyra lögin af dýrð

...OR...

övög deedes bidnii zovlong tulgadag

Bidnii Karma övög deedes öör nekhekh tul

Tulaldaand manai Bloodkin unaltyn

Bidnii gert bolon khashaa sharakh talaar

Bidnii tsamkhag doosh Khüchirkhiileld baigaa tul

Bid khooloi gar duudaj bayasakh

Bid Ikh Ezen, bidnii gazar ni bidnii amidrald baritsaalakh

Bid ir nariisgakh bolon bidnii helms shalgalt

Bid ch bas ükhel ögökh, mön ükhliig jagsan

Tulaany mörgöldön avtsan foeman -iin uilakh daraa

Iimd bid nas baragsad shataaj, manai unasan baatruud toolj daraa

Delkhii Gal golomt, ger oron, zaasan gazar khagalj dakhin büteekh ni daraa

Daraa bid khanan deer suuj, aldar duunuudyg sonsokh bolno

I am really enjoying this series. I usually have to read it twice to determine who is whom and some of the nuances. But it is really worth it. Thank you.

Could you please update the cast of characters list? It is very helpful.

Thank you so much for the new update. I was beginning to become as despondant as a bunch of bananas en route to a monkey cage. Waiting is so hard! Thanks again!

FS,

Another great read.

I'll have the roughed out Cast as of CH 28 headed your way later today (Sunday)

Be well my friend

Great reads as usual but I think its time for me to revisit past chapters as some of the names seem to fly over my head. The 3 week hiatus by Lit has made some recollection hard for me but at least I get to enjoy the series all over again. Great job as usual FinalStand! Can't wait for the next chapter and what it will bring.

I'm sorry that you have been having personal issues going on and I hope they can be resolved with no great conflict going on. Anyway thank you for the read. I would give you a 10/10 if I could.

Can't wait to read more.

Loved it as always. Thank You FS for another great chapter. Here is wishing you well.

How am I going to cope when this story ends.

This is the best reading I've had in a long time.

Are you implying that Dracula was an Amazon?

No. Dracula was Son of the Dragon and part of a knightly order that fought for Christianity against the Ottoman Turks, Tartars and Crimean Khanate in their time.

The Primordial Dragon is a common theme in many cultures creation mythology. Now, since multiple faiths do exist in my modern fantasy, you may infer that there really is a draconic influence in that region of Europe. Don't think vampires and large, flying, fire-breathing reptilians.

Think - Children of the Dragon: men and women with superior endurance, resistance to pain and poisons, vitality, long life (living to 90, or even 100 with most of their faculties) and great strength. We are talking about being at the extreme limits of human ability ~ not blatantly supernatural.

If Vlad Dracul had been truly dragon-blooded, he would have exhibited those abilities. Combined with his charisma, ruthlessness and noble status, he would have been a truly terrifying foe to face on and off the battlefield. A Temujin of the Balkans.

And to the Ninja? But aren't the Ninja one of the 9 Clans? Why do they need two diplomats? And I guess the Ninja are made up of 7 Families that we best not confuse with the entirely separate 7 Pillars?

The diplomat to the 9 Clans is to help long term cooperation with the 9 Clans on a global scale. Last time they were on the same side (WWI), they didn't communicate and tragedy happened. This time, Cael wants to build up an open line of communication.

The diplomat to the ninja has a much more immediate mission - keep the 7 Ninja families (maybe 6 now) in the fight. That means a quick infusion of Amazons to Nippon and requires much more in depth understanding, and greater trust. Amazons and Ninja are (hopefully) be fighting side by side in a matter of days, or weeks. As mentioned several chapters ago, the 9 Clans keep their distance...but if they ever declare you a friend, they are a friend till death.

Fantastic read as always. I do have a plot question, have all the rich kids been taken care of by Buffy or is Anima (sp) lurking in the background. She was left hiding a few chapters back.

As has been pointed out to me, Aksai Chin is a veritable wasteland - I knew that. What Aksai Chin does have is a strategic road linking parts of Tibet and a history of being wanted (for some reason) by China, India and Pakistan. Natural resources? None that I know of. The issue it that it HAD a Chinese garrison - they are dead now - and that to recapture it quickly (before Pakistan and India get greedy), the Chinese have to move in forces from Tibet and Xinjiang...down to the far southeastern corner of China...along a very tenuous supply line to the ass-end of nowhere. Now, what does that do to the Chinese defensive capabilities in Xinjiang, which has large, oppressed Turkish and Mongolian minorities and a long, open border with Mongolia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan? Do you know of any pissed off Mongolian Warlords, or a 500 year old secret society bent on re-creating the Great Khanate? Do you have any idea how much Russian and Central Asian military hardware had gone missing since 2000? Do you have any idea how many Mongolian and Turkish men and women have been trained in their respective country's military then discharged? Don't forget those trained in Russia. Get the picture? [Don't worry - the goings-on in Asia are only a backdrop to the main story]

Hey, for some reason i can just imagine this being a manga, honestly i think it'd be awesome if that could happen.. Don't suppose you can draw well? xD. Well anyway, this chapter was great! I wish you could pump them out faster, who wouldn't? Right? But i understand these are high quality chapters that take a lot of time and research and so i think the wait for each chapter is definitely worth it :) Keep up the great work FS

5/5 so far!

I like your series very much and wait eagerly for the next chapter. Can you give us an update on your work and will there be more chapters in this awesome series

Ch29 is on the works, and, what can I say?

Just hold on to your hats.

I'm loving every word of it. Thank you for so many hours of great entertainment.

...has been submitted today (Nov. 6th 2014) at 12:27 am. It is shorter than usual (9,260 words), but I hope you agree I had a good stopping point. Chapter 30 is over 7,000 words and growing. It will definitely be bigger than Chapter 29, so keep the faith. FS

Cael is spawning MIDGETS! Hooray! Keep it up, big boss.

This chapter is pivital because Cael finaly comes to grip with his need to have progeny. House Isharra needs a blood heir and here is a chance to provide this. Wether he says it or not, the guy that always uses a condum has spaced it 3 times. As Cael becomes imersed in becoming Head of House he finds he needs to take one for the teem. How can he forget his lost brothers? The goddess is pushing and he will deliver.

This story is so epic.

i don't give a fuck anymore.

Are you going to stop pissing on my story ~ a tale you have apparently not liked since Chapter One and yet keep posting negative comments about (based on the time line of said comments)? I am honestly trying to work on other stories. I've finished the edit for Chapter 47, sent it back to my editors and hope to submit it to Literotica tonight. At the moment I'm working on WMD 4 ... but I keep getting your comments on Life as a New Hire ... which force me to revisit what I might have done wrong here. I'd like to get rolling on Ebb Tide as well, if you don't mind.

Now, if you have an definite criticism of LNH you think I can address, please contact me via Feedback and I'll do what I can do address your concerns there. If there is a particular older story you want me to revisit, let me know. Hopefully with some prodding and luck I'll recapture some of the old fire. At the very least I can update you to what progress I have made.

Or, you can keep dropping negative comments about this story line and I'll keep reading them ... and giving them due consideration.

FinalStand, don't let the pathetic mewings of an anonymous coward disrupt your zen. I only found this story a couple of days ago and it's been keeping me awake too late at night for 3 days running. I'm having a great time reading and it'll probably disrupt my sleep patterns for several more nights.

woot. You did it again bruh. Keeping me awake till 6am i tell you. A crazy idea in my mind..... How bout a movie or animation for this story. Keep up the good work.

The only thoughts in this story that matter are yours the story is excellent keep up the great work love it and it's keeping me up at night it's messing with my days and I wouldn't change anything

Paps

Reading is a verbal skill. If you can't pronounce it, it's almost impossible to remember. Stop introducing people with unpronouncable names, then giving them two or three other pronouncable names. Give the reader a fighting chance. The more people you introduce, the harder it is to keep everything straight, especially if the author insists in showing off his brilliance with obscure references.

Second, proofreading. If nothing else, read it over yourself with a critical eye.

Third: Smirk 1.

smile in an irritatingly smug, conceited, or silly way.

"he smirked in triumph"

synonyms: smile smugly, simper, snicker, snigger; leer

Use it correctly.

Give the reader a fighting chance.

Don't use them. You hide the meaning when you use an acronym. Just spell it out and give the reader a chance.

Okay, I'm in a bit of a quandary when it comes to your requests.

1) I felt I couldn't create the name Saku without coming up with the root meaning for it without leaving the readers somewhat cheated. Usually when I introduce an Amazon/Hittite name, I truncate it as soon as possible so the readers don't have to stumble over some seven syllable monstrosity, but I feel it is necessary to show the initial steps. I try to keep my sojourns into the Hittite language to a minimum.

I have also, with the VAST majority of the work being done by a reader with the handle of Nut Ranch, put out a list of names and relationship for all the characters as of chapter 40.

2) I have joined with TWO editors as I've progressed and I'd like to think they've done a much better job. I'm a lousy freaking editor, that's for sure.

3) Yes ... I am kind of addicted to 'smirk's. I should branch out more often. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

4) Acronyms ~ in this case, I was sort of caught up in how people would talk and the need to create some level of misunderstand was intentional due to the events swirling around Cáel in that airport hangar. Pamela is going rapid-fire while Cáel is more worried about forestalling violence and protecting the children. In this singular case, me not spelling out the acronyms was intentional. In most other cases, I spell them out at least once per chapter.

I hope this helps and thank you once more,

James aka FinalStand

It's the part that makes me question this story at times.

How does he know house Arriniti's sons are in Euorpe?

How does he know ANYTHING bout house Illuyankamunus? Inlcuding their numbers, where they are, or their head of house is trapped in the council?

It sorta irritates me at times when he just pulls info conveniently out of nowhere.

JC

**How does he know these things? It's the part that makes me question this story at times.**

Though I only deliberately brought it up once, Pamela schools Cael on a great deal of things off screen. A few things he puts together ~ such as understanding Arriniti is a 'First House' because Dr. Kimberly taught him Arriniti was a major deity during the height of the Hittite Empire ... thus would have been worshiped pre-Trojan War.

**How does he know house Arriniti's sons are in Europe?**

He 'suspects' the Arriniti sons are in Europe because his only family had existed in Transylvania until 1945.

Oh, and he is WRONG! The Arriniti sons have in fact moved to Brazil ... which he doesn't learn until he makes it to Romania.

**How does he know ANYTHING bout house Illuyankamunus? Including their numbers, where they are, or their head of house is trapped in the council? **

Again, information he acquired off-screen. He gathered said data before heading off to Europe because he ASSUMED they might be interested in the heritage of their own missing member. House Illuyankamunus wasn't interested because they know they have nothing in common with the true bloodline of the House of the Dragon ... which was not revealed to Cael until after he returns to New York.

He knows their numbers because he asked Katrina off-screen. Likewise, off-screen, he was rebuffed when he want to Illuyankamunus and asked for help.

He knows the House Head is 'trapped' in New York because ALL the House Heads (except himself) are stuck in New York until they elect a regency ... which they hadn't been able to do in his absence.

** It sorta irritates me at times when he just pulls info conveniently out of nowhere.**

Sorry about that. After Chapter 16 Pamela becomes his near-constant companion and she imparts a good deal of Amazon lore and thinking to him. Combined with that you have Cael making assumptions and the majority of this tale is written from his perspective. Sometimes he makes correct guesses and other times he's plain wrong ... like the Arriniti sons still being in Europe, or the Ninja leaders talking to the Japanese Prime Minister :D

Take care,

James aka FinalStand

This tends to be the area of the story that I waver in my dedication to finish it.

The first half of the story is so tight and controlled in its plot and environment that you can immerse yourself in the story. But it kind of... Transforms into a Micheal Bay movie, there's very little respite or character/world building outside of the constant go go go, info dump to action to Info dump to action.

And while I appreciate your attention to detail, it feels like so many things have been introduced and are being introduced that you almost need a flow chart to follow along.

It's still a great story, don't get me wrong, but a part of me missed the first half of the story where it was comedic and emotional and you didn't need a huge suspension of disbelief to really get into it.

There have been times when I've looked back and thought 'what have I done?' ... but I hope the character development is worth the sometimes grinding ride. After all, you don't have Aya in a cyclone unless some of these other events happen ;) Am I right?

Take care and thanks for the comments,

James aka FinalStand

In the words of Joe II, "...too many notes, Mozart".... But in the words of Martial Arts teacher I. Sinclair, “Don’t beat yourself up.”

this is one of my old time favorites, i have read it maybe 10 times from beginning to end, one thing though, and i am just nitpicking, what happened to ch 48 or carnival?

... what happened? I lost my writing mojo. My ability to weave drama with comedy has escaped me and, while I'm still struggling to write, I haven't returned to the level of competency I reached with Life as a New Hire.

Chapter 48 is about half way done. One of my editors has encouraged me to submit what I've done and save the Great Hunt for Chapter 49. I remain uncertain.

Carnival in Brazil is to be covered in the second 'book' of Cael & Company's saga ... as there is more to Carnival than just Cael having a good time.

I hope this helps and take care,

James aka FinalStand

FinalStand, I could care less if you lost your mojo. You've created a classic with this story. Most of us keep re-reading thing story over and over not because of your competency, but because of your ability to weave an awesome tale. Keep doing that, and we'll continue to laud your works. :D

Ok I can barely take it, lucky for me the story rocks.

“Cut it on” and Cut it off” I don’t really think that is English when talking about turning a light or some other object. The closest that’s English is “Cut the engine.” That means to turn off the engine but not really. To turn off an engine you cut the fuel and then starve the engine and it dies, even now with car engines that stop almost instantly.

So all this cut it on and cut it off is utter bullshit English since you are always referring to something with a switch. So it becomes switch it on or off. If it’s a rotary switch you can use turn it on or off. The turn phrase is also in common usage with stuff that has normal switches as well.

Anyway I cringed through the cut crap last episode and this episode because otherwise the story is 5 stars.

Remember kids, colloquialisms don’t exist if you personally aren’t familiar with them!! *eye roll* thanks @finalstand for sharing this addictive web spun of humor and intrigue. Hope you never “cut it off” 5 star.

@Jackspeed2u - RE: incorrect English

As noted by Malice21, just because you've never heard a phrase before doesn't mean that it's not used, just that you're ignorant of the information provided. When talking about power in industrial situations then "cutting" the feed is bandied about all the time. Essentially a 'switch' is just a break in the circuit that is reconnected when it's turned on and broken (or cut) when the circuit is turned off. "Cut the power!" is also a handy phrase to remember when working with high voltage as it's very hard to get the message wrong, even when there is a lot going on and it's important that someone turn off the power.

The story is rocking along now.

5/5

I have no idea how you've managed to keep this all together. Brilliant instalment once again.