All Comments on 'Light of Dawn Ch. 01'

No sex or anything like that, but a good set up, some very real-feeling charectars and obvious potential. Most crucially, you are very good at using dialogue in the story.

If the actual erotica is as good as tyhis, we're in for a treat.

Looks to be becoming a nice mix of common concepts and cliches... don't take that in the wrong way. That's a good thing.

It was really a good story your characters are real and i was annoyed when it stopped a sure sign of a winner.

Normally I like my stories to be faster moving, but this one kept me engaged even without any sex. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Let's see what develops. I normally enjoy a faster moving story. I already see a sub-plot being introduced...????

As always. I look forward to reading the rest of this novella. Your work has been a huge inspiration for me and I am ecstatic you have new stories coming out.

I was drawn into the first chapter very quickly. Its a great opener. Its not your typical brother sister story and that makes me want to read it even more. Very well written. I look forward to the next chapter.

very smooth and entertaining first chapter :D

excellent writing. I just got sucked into the story, can't wait to read the next installment.

Are you going to write anymore??

I love the way you can effortlessly paint a picture of inter-family relationships...makes them so real

I think your an excellant writer. I think the way you can bring life into interfamily relationships is brilliant. I am looking forward to how this story progresses. Thank you for the great read.

i love the way you start by not just jumpin into sex its like a mystery

Seems just like the first few minutes of a very good movie.

This was a great start. Lots of good description and it flowed pretty nicely. I'll definitely be reading the rest.

I'm anxiously looking forward to the big football star blowing his brotherly balls up his baby sister's cute little cunt.

Impressive chapter. I like Jeff and Dawn! Pretty good characters, my question? Did you get the inspiration from real people you know?

I like the depth to the characters and richness of environment. However, describing the skin of a Latina woman as exotic is not sexy as much as it separates women of color as being held under a different standard of beauty, also known as, fetishizing. The challenge is a good one, to write past stereotypes and tropes and there is already do much good here. Small note that would make a big difference.

Jeff is an arrogant asshole. Daddy doesn't seem much better. I guess the apple didn't fall too far from the tree.

Pity poor Dawn.

A total douce canoe. Jeff will need one hell of a redemption arc if he has any chance of being worthy of his sis because he is a douce and other guys will have a shot at dawn before he gets one or will just push her toward someone else after he gets his shot and he is whinning like a bitch for her.

Unless you can stomach scumbag characters, then I would recommend not to touch this. Jeff doesn't get any better until the end and things get bleak for Dawn. Apart from that, the author did a good job keeping the series interesting every chapter making you invested to read the next one.

This isn't a lighthearted story

Jeff is a arrogant arse. I dont think i will continue reading this story, thou i gave it five stars. Lemme see what the next chapter looks like.

So the main character is a CUNT so ok that happens but when writing a story with so many parts and then a sequel YOU HAVE TO GIVE HIM REDEMING FEATURES that the reader can see but all the story characters can’t. If the reader can’t see any worth to a character then they won’t waste their time reading about his CUNT ass.

So I read a few chapters of this absolute trash and everyone was still a CUNT. Are you serious?

I’m out 1* and only because I can’t give less and have it count.

Some are complaining about jackassness of mc in first few chapters and i don't like it either but for a good plot it was necessary. Just read both series with patience.I wont tell anything else for spoilers.

And to the AUTHOR, I would like to thank him for his great work but i think it would have been far much better if the last chapter of of both parts been a bit more extended.

Nice start.

Jeff is the typical asshole jock. I hate him already. I suppose Dawn is going to fall in love with the piece of shit. What a waste. 😪

(4/1/2022) Yup, this was a nice start but just barely. looking forward to the next chapter