All Comments on 'Light of Dawn Ch. 08'

I'm the previous reviewer who wanted more affection between Jeff and Dawn outside of a sexual situation and this chapter delivered exactly what I wanted. Very well done! And satisfying too. I look forward to the next installment.

This story is definitely one of the more memorable stories I've read. There are a lot of conflicts happening all at once, which consequently results in a lot more drama than the typical erotic story. When I came into this chapter, I was more interested in how the characters would deal with their issues, more so than any sex that may occur. I'm glad to see the story "ended" happily. The outcome may not have been picture perfect, but I'm looking forward to reading about what happens to Dawn and Jeff next.

Excellent writing as usual; kudos for another great story.

A beautiful ending to a beautiful story. The growth and maturity in Jeff from Chapter 1 to Chapter 8 was nothing short of astounding. Hopefully there will be some sort of reconciliation between him and his Father in Light of Dusk. And, of course, I can't wait to see what happens between Jeff and Dawn. Mused, you never cease to amaze me. ~Chargergirl

It took him a while, but Jeff came through in the end. Now if you could dish out some justice for the evil Jase in the sequel, I'll be happy.

Excellent story; comepelling characters; absolutely great resolution. Please continue your writing. You have talent.

Wonderful, wonderful. I'm a big fan of all your stories. More please.

I thoroughly enjoyed the beginning of this story. I liked how troubled and complicated Jeff seemed. But when you introduced that crazy rapist the whole story just devolved into something disturbing and unrealistic. Don't get me wrong, I don't need love and happy endings, but something about the whole Jase thing just turned my stomach and took away from the story. What would have been better is if you allowed the downward spiral to happen as a more personal implosion between Jeff and Dawn, instead of some third party being the catalyst of everything going to shit. I liked that Jeff was so dark, and it would have been inetersting if he just couldn't handle his feelings for Dawn and he kept getting more forceful. If the whole story was going to turn out as sordid as it did, then it should have been Jeff who took it there. Also, I can't imagine someone as messed up and self-centered as Jeff being okay for too long with the fact that he lost everything. I think that in the forthcoming chapters you could explore him lashing out at Dawn because he thinks she's responsible. At the very least, you could have that rotten rapist get arrested which would allow Jeff to return to football.

Sure, Jase got a little roughed up, but all the other Frat boys who gang-raped the blackmailed heroine get to carry on laughing and partying and finding new chicks to rape without suffering any consequences for their evil. I read a fact sheet from a sexual assault crisis center that said a study found that 60% of college boys would rape a woman if they could get away without being caught... so I suppose that is why you allowed these rapists to go free -they had their buddies to cover for them, true to life.

All in all a very good story that kept me reading. There were parts of the story that I didnt care for but they seemed to be somewhat integral to where the story wanted to lead. And I enjoyed the last chapter immensely, the climax and the way it ended. Cant wait to read on with the sequel chapters to see what happens next.

That fight scene was brutal. I winced each time Jeff got another painful punch or slam. But the ending was so sweet. You have to feel for Jeff, losing his mom so young and missing her so terribly, not really feeling much love. With Dawn, he feels loved for himself.

...only because i think all of us were hoping for Jase to die, even though it couldn't happen. i feel terrible for Dawn and Jeff, but i'm glad they're ok. great story over-all, even though this last chapter made me cry

Thank you for having the courage to write a story with images both erotic and repelling, characters both vulnerable and hard; for writing a STORY instead of connecting a series of dots from one grunt to the next. Thank you for having the courage to write a story where the loose ends don't get tied off neatly. Thank you for taking the time to write things like "Dawn retreated back to the book, back to Norman England, where there were fewer men to distract her." I have rarely read erotic literature that MOVED me AND turned me on, that took me to a place of understanding the pain of this kind of love. I stumbled across your name by reading Chargergirl's stories; I'm forever in her debt. I look forward to reading your other stories and wish you very good luck with your novel!

They was all good.I could not stop reading them

I did not enjoy this story. It's not that it wasn't well written, or that the author lacks talent. It was just too dark and unpleasant for me to get into. Beyond that, Dawn seemed to be portrayed a bit too heavily as a submissive little victim of everything and everyone. Jeff never did rise to the level of a sympathetic character despite his rally at the end.

The fact is, Liza was the most likable character in the story even though Dawn's situation was largely engineered by her. At least she showed remorse for it. If anyone deserved to end up with Dawn, it was her.

it's not fair!!! somehow he needs to see justice...please? It's making me cry

That was so amazing i loved it. it was really well written and you used so much detail. i was crying by the end. absolutly fantastic. thank you for taking the time to write it.

This is amazingly well written and I'm about to read light of dusk. I absolutely positively loathed Jase (As i was supposed to) and the author does a great job of making him a scumbag of a character. There are two things i feel that are a little off in the book though. 1. Despite what vincent did, i feel really bad that he has to have both of his children be mad at him forever. He honestly seems sorry and deserves a better ending. 2. Neither of the siblings were the character i liked most in the book. there was only one person who raised my spirits whenever they were mentioned and that was Liza. Overall an amazing story and I can't wait to read the sequel.

its a powerful story...loved it!!:)

you have some problems transitioning from story line to sex scene. a couple doesn't just begin a serious talk then start fucking. i feel you are more suited to nonsexual story lines. when i read erotica i want to physically enjoy myself. however when i read your story i found myself so disgusted by jason and your poor transitions i felt myself at a loss for any sort of arousal. in conclusion, you should stop writing erotica.

The best story I have ever read at this site. You should start your own blog to post these. Till then, I'm waiting for your next submission.

Obviously the "transition" guy hasn't had much sex cause he is totally wrong in his comment. One of the best storys in this site. Your writing ability takes one right there with the characters. Looking forward to more of your work.

In real life, Jase would have had his cock buried in Dawn's cunt on her back porch within minutes after she sucked him off, swallowed his cum and had agreed to do whatever it took to protect her brother... and then hundreds more times afterward, with dozens of other guys that he told her to do it with. She'd have quickly become famous as the campus cunt. Jase would have been selling her pussy. THAT is harsh, absolute reality.

As for the story....

Why didn't you let him dump that fuck over the railing and have it be an accident when Jeff stepped aside while Jase was charging and trying to push HIM over the railing? That way Jeff would never have been kicked out of school and the cocksucker would never have drugged and raped another innocent young woman. Jeff would STILL have come in giving it all up for his sister... even though it would have turned out that he didn't lose it after all.

.... of course, now that he's not going to be a famous NFL player, he can stay home, fuck and pump his cum into his sister's tight pussy for the rest of their lives. .... Yeah, I like that a whole lot better. You done good. (Hope Daddy goes along with it.)

(Now on to the next series)

Your storey allows Jase to go unscathed as an attempted rapist, while Jeff is ruined. That is bad morality.

How about Dawn filing Rape charges and getting Jase convicted -- then filing suit against the school for ousting Jeff for protecting a victim against a rapist -- and winning

If you had read any previous chapter, you would've realized that in that town, it was fucked up anyway - Jase's family had the law enforcement wrapped around their fingers, much like some celebrities/politicians do in this day and age.

i love this whole story its so romantic i love jeffff like i mentioned the last chapter i wish i met a guy just like you are realy good auther

Filing rape charges is a good idea. But he didn't, actually, ever rape her. And filing for attempted rape is tricky under the best of circumstances. It's incredibly hard to prove beyond a reasonable doubt, and under these specific circumstances their chances would be nothing. Filing a suit against the school is, however, a valid point. The problem with that is, again, they would have to have a really flipping good lawyer and even then, it's not like it would solve all of their problems.

The last chapters ruined the whole story. It really gave me a headache and a sick stomach. Cruelty and violence in a love story is NEVER a good idea. It smashed it all to pieces. Besides there where a lot of things that suffered from a lack of logic in the story. What was really Liza's part in Jase's way with Dawn? If she delivered Dawn to him, why is she still on speaking terms with Jeff and Dawn?

You seems like a good writer, but based on this story I simply can't read any more of your work if your other stories is similar to this.

while i will agree the concept was strange and it turned the series into more of an actual story i have to strongly suggest that if you didn't like it simply don't read it.. and jase was probably only trying to scare dawn when he said liza was in on it

The protagonists (such as they are) end up being punished and the villain lives on, free to drug, rape, torture, and pimp out other young coeds! Now *that* is a good story!

In case you didn't get it, the previous statement was sarcasm. This is really one of the worst stories I've read, period. Not just here on Literotica, but in general. I truly don't know what the previous commenters were smoking when they said this was good, but I don't think I want any. I'm not one for Pollyanna "...and everyone rode off happily into the sunset" endings, but this was just bad. Not only did the bad guy basically win and the good guys get their asses handed to them, but many parts didn't even make sense. One example: If you had actually played football, or even knew much about behind-the-scenes of college ball, you would know that no lineman would ever just ignore his quarterback getting in a fight. Your team is your family, and your QB is your best friend and big brother rolled into one. No matter who the one hitting him was, those linemen would've been in there turning him into a squishy bag of bone soup as soon as that first punch was thrown. They do not care how many of the guy's family members on what board. They are there to protect their QB, no matter what.

My suggestion, as an author, is to take a creative writing class or two. Learn how to develop a story properly. And for God's sake, do a little studying on whatever topic you're planning to write about. You wouldn't try to write a story about putting together a computer without knowing the difference between PCIe and SATA, would you? So don't include something like the workings of a football team without knowing about that.

On a positive note, unlike many writers on here, your spelling and grammar were quite good. That's positive, at least.

Why did I spend the last few hours reading a gore-fest!?!? I'm gonna go throw up now!!!

This is one of my favorites show that there is still hope even for hopeless love I love the story and your work keep writing and I will keep reading

Thank you for such wonderful work. You have created such a dramatic and involved story I was hard spent to put down my computer. Thank you and keep up the great writing.

This turned out differently then I expected, but it was just really a great read. So many twists and turns. Perhaps the worse for me was what happened to Dawn, that seemed a bit out there but you did play the small town, Friday nights lights quality very well. Well Done! You stole my day away, but it was worth it.

I just had to say that Light of Dawn, and then of course Dusk are some of the best stories I have ever read. Here it is like a year since I first stumbled onto them and I just had to come back to tell you how AWESOME I still think they are. I have read most of your others now because of them and they are all FANTASTIC. It has been hard to find other authors who can hold a candle to you good sir. So just so you know I appreciate your obvious talent and dedication to quality incredible stories. Keep it up and I will eagerly consume anything you ever post. Thankyou.

I would love to read more about these people

I finally had to stop and look at what year this story was written because rape and sexual assault are addressed so casually. It's a comment on the era, not the writer. (Story posted in late 2007, comment in late 2016. ) I read first the sequel "Dusk" and enjoyed it. I'm simply shocked that the original story" Dawn" is so dark. Jason is a serial rapist and sadist who coerces gang sexual assault. The story needs a stronger warning than it has.

Fucked up shit.

but i thought the story offered something different on this site - a marginally happy ending with a lot of unhappiness that has been difficult to resolve. you're a great writer so i gave it 5 stars - and hope "the light of dusk" improves my spirit!!

Good story till you pit dawn thru jase and the abuse and according to the description of the next series it doesn't get better. Hope it ends like we all hope. Also why dies jase getaway with being a rapist and Lisa gets off with fucking jade and setting up dawn?

I don’t this story just does not feel right

Scores average now

I think the ending was BS. In fact, the whole chapter 7.

What a waste of my precious time. 😪 I came back to read this because I started to read Light of Dusk. But there's a HUGE gaping hole in the story between where this one ends and Dusk begins. The details of what I was searching for were never written. Jeff and Dawn are together as a couple at the end of this story and mysteriously broken up for the beginning of the next. And poor Liza doesn't even earn a footnote.

You serious suck, dude.

Waste of time. I tried.