All Comments on 'Lightning In a Bottle'

This one wa tough to read. I had an impending sense of doom all the way through. What a great story though! Thanks for sharing.

FBG

I love all your work, but I related so much to this particular story. My first love did not choose me, either. After two years, I knew he would not be able to buck his family's expectations. He is beautiful, extremely well-educated, and high-achieving, but his wife always has a sad look on her face.

Like Mace, I, too, am living on an island with a husband who is devoted to me and our child.

Your stories always get me and your charaters are so real. The development of your stories are great and in the right tempo. You are soo talented! I cant wait for you to publish more of your stories....*kisses and hugs*

I agree with the person who wrote that it was tough to read b/c of the impending sense of doom. You knew would not choose him. It seemed like a love that could have lasted if they both chose it. I am glad the main character (not sure if this is autobiographical or not) found joy and love with someone else. I feel badly for the "John's" out there who try to pretend they are something else. It is sad for them and worse for those they try to build a facade with. I loved his last comment to John --I'm living that life, just not with you. Ouch! But too true.

This is the best gay sorry ever on this site. The ending made it all the better. Great work. Hope it's made into a movie.

Your stories are so beautiful and break my heart Everytime. This is your best, I think. But what happens if the love works out? I know zinger changed but still. Anyway. All this to say I loved it but me heart hurts.

Heartbreakingly beautiful.

Cried, laughed and it's one of the best. Thank you.

Damn fine story....Sometimes you don't get what you want, but you get what you need..

All due apologies to the Rolling Stones.

Wow. A real love story. How two straight guys, met; grew together; feel in love and then unfortunately grew apart.

Really shows how true love can be defeated by what is viewed to be "right and wrong"

Hated the ending simply because true love lost, but loved every chapter.

Will be reading all of your stories from now on.

Loved your story. Very well done. BTW, you meant *manner* not *manor* in your story, though...

I have learned to read your stories after work when I can pause, contemplate and breathe through a few tears. I seem to fall in love with all of your characters, imperfections and all. So easy to judge choices made in youth or with societal constraints. Although it was clear throughout the story there wouldn't be a forever for these two, I still wished John a better life. Brilliantly written.

I knew they weren't going to end up together but I was still hoping for it at the end. If it is one thing that I should realize with your stories, is that you write realistically. Not everyone gets the fairytale ending, nor should they get it although some people deserve it. Life isn't fair though. Life is hard and decisions are made on a whim and sometimes not at all. I loved the dycotomy of their lives and the decisions needed to be made. Brilliant work!

What a wonderful story. I loved every bit of it, but was sad about the ending, wish all of life ended happily. John made his choices and had to live by them, and suffered for them. Sad. Thanks for giving us a chance to read it.

I truly loved reading your story however, I am sad that they did not end together.

It would be nice to have a follow up where they did end up together. It seems that they had true love in each other.

God you're stories are so good. You really take me on a journey and convey the emotive beautifully

Beautifully written with characters I was rooting for but knew wouldn't be together but I kept hoping. I can't wait for your next story!

Stunning and soulful. This is a masterpiece.

It was really good. I was hoping they would make it but i was not disappointed with the way it ended.

The best compliment ever. Your story made me cry. Loved it. Wanted a happily ever after with John but we do not always get what we want.

I get your style. Beautifully made stories about two great loves that would never end up together. Though you offer a unique kind of stories in this site, I wonder what it will be like, with your talent, if you do a happily-ever-after (where both main characters ends up together) themed story.

Absolutely amazing. Hats off to you Sir!

SENSATIONAL

I am Mace. This story is of my first love. But, not my best love. "Raul" is my best love. It's been 20 years, and I love him today more than I loved him yesterday. I got my happily ever after, just not with "John." I probably never would have with John. So, fret not. I believe in Happily Ever After. I'm living it.

wow lucky you what an amazing story.Very well written just so glad to hear that there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Thanks John

I loved this story, it feels so real. It's sad, but John played his cards the wrong way, and is still doing it as you told -when you describe the list of ex-wives he got, instead of the man of your life you got.

I am very happy to know that although John and you didn't work, you finally found a good man who wasn't afraid of to love you properly.

congratulations, your work is remarkable.

One can really tell when a story draws from the author's life experience. I think everyone who has really been in love has felt the pain that these characters experienced. I thought the ending was perfect. John got the life he wanted, Mace found happiness and, remarkably, they remained friends. Now I need to read your other stories.

You have a gift. Well written, nice pacing, good dialog and great grammar.

I loved it!!!! It made me cry.

You have me bawling....this is the third story I have read from your collection so I had it in the back of my mind that Mace and John were never going to live happily ever after. This story was well written as all the other ones I have read. I like to refer to them as realistic happily ever after. I always go for the fairytale happily ever after....but your stories show that real life is not always that. Kudos. I am glad Mace had the courage to let John go and to live and love. He had the courage to evolve, John was sort of a coward. They both started out wanting kids and wives. Mace realized that was not what he wanted anymore. John was willing to live in lies. Sometimes we hang on to the scraps we are given because we love the person not realizing that settling diminishes that love and turns us bitter(personal experience). I would like to think John will be the old man 30 years from now wondering "what if," and he will never have the love he and mace shared with anyone else. Mace will be the one thinking that part of his life was good but the relationship and LIFE and LOVE he has now is better. First loves can be a bitch...lol Please keep more stories coming. They are giving us life and lessons...even though I am shedding tears along the way. So in the end it still was happily ever after....for the one who had the courage to let go!

I always know I've enjoyed a great story when I get to the last few pages and want to stretch them out as long as possible, to spend as much time with the characters as I can. This is how I felt when I reached the epilogue, even scrolling down to reassure myself that there were still a few paragraphs left. Very well done

This story holds more then just fucking. The romance. The bonds. The everything. Very well done. Amazing story. This would be an amazing movie!!!!!!!!!!

I layer in bed looking for something to read as I played with my hubby at work and the mood striking me. Needless to say my vibrator went back into my nightstand and I read all pages. Even crying a couple time. Very well done

Stop breaking my heart, I beg you. Why does it always have to have a bitter-sweet ending? I fell off the cliff so I swam to the shore but I was no longer the same person. Please, a sappy, cheesy, happily ever after on an island far away is the only cure for me.

Mace and Juan wound up together, happily married. They lived happily ever after.

It was only bittersweet for John. Mace went ahead with his life and ended up happily married to Juan. John couldn't or wouldn't give more of himself and paid the price. That's the way things go sometimes.

I think for the very first time in the history of me reading stories in Literotica, I cried over the story. The story is delightful and touching at the same time. You are AWESOME, DAVID!!!!

Beautifully patient character development and a subtle rendering of their growing intimacy.

There was so much fine prose here, it's tough to single anything out, but this passage was one to which we can all relate:

Sadness can be consuming. It was for me. I ached at the thought of John. When you're older, you realize things come and go, doors close and windows open, and challenges can be opportunities. When you're 22, you realize no such thing. When you're 22 and losing your first love, you realize nothing.

You have enviable gifts as a storyteller and I thank you for sharing them with us.

What a fabulously written and touching story. Thank you David!

…about this beautifully written story. It's a telling that anyone with an ounce of tenderness would find engaging and deeply moving. So far this is one of the finest stories I've read on Lit. Your talent is astounding. Everything about this piece is praiseworthy. I believe you've hit the ball right outta the park. Congratulations.

This is the first time i have read something on this website that's lovely and not just raunchy. Your story had me hooked from the beginning, and i could not wait to see if they would stay together. Sadly, reality intruded, and as is often the case, this love story did not have a happy ending-- well, not the one i wanted. But at least Mace was able to find some happiness w/Juan.

Thank you for creating such lovable characters, David. I hope to read more from you.

I'm glad you showed us how the real world worked - and I guess still works in many places. It was a beautiful love story, even so.

I think I've commented on every one of your submissions. I have truly loved them all. This one was a mixed bag because I would have preferred HEA for John & Mace together. But at least Mason ended up in a good relationship. And, as in your other stories, the sex was hot. Keep sharing. Thanks.

Just read all the comments including yours that you were Mace. That just made it all the better. I think I now live vicariously through such stories. And this was just wonderful. Thanks again.

Great story :) But what is a Hoya? You wrote that if Mace had been a Hoya things would have turned out differently. Seemed like a critical para but I didn't know what it meant.

I really enjoyed that and I'm glad you didn't go for a predictable HEA ending. At one point, I thought they were going to get ill as they hadn't been safe! Keep writing!

what...the...fuck

VERY well written, LOVED it. And for the one who asked, a Hoya is someone who attends Georgetown.

John is an idiot!!

I loved the story, it reminded me of a modern day Maurice by E.M. Forster. Thank you also for an easily readable writing style. It's so enjoyable to read a story with proper grammar and spelling.

...and i don't think it will ever be mended. Well done! :) This is without a doubt one of the best love stories I've ever read, even if the two who should be together aren't in the end. Bravo!

Absolutely beautiful. I read this to jerk off. Did so in page 3 then finished reading it, it was so good! What I like about it most is it's realism. It's not this fake ass oh I find this straight guy hot and all of a sudden he's gay. There's strong emotional conflict.

This was a good emotional story. I feel bad for John not being able to be who he was. He missed out on the love of a lifetime. Fear can do horrible things to our lives.

Great story. Great ending.

TM

This was a great story and it left me in tears.

Too bad Josie could not break away from the fact that he was more gay than he would admit and it ruined their love affair. I finished the story and I did not want it to end. Josie was married several times but he was only fooling himself, I hope he did not end his life.

I absolutely loved this. Its not what i usually read but it completely had me hooked. I love how behind everything the main story is to stay true to who you are!

Great story and had me from the beginning. I am in my mid forties and divorced now for 3 years. I find myself reading and watching more gay literature and movies than I do straight. I test myself by how hard I get watching the two. I get way more stimulated watching and reading gay material. I always start off watching straight porn but consistently finish with a gay video or story. This tale has me moved me to take the next step and see what I have been missing all these years and being true to myself. I will try to write all about it soon in great detail. I may need some assistance if transferring it onto paper as I’m not a writer but will do my best! Thanks again for this beautiful story and keep writing and sharing your sexual adventures.

I felt depressed after reading this. I love the story writing and the graphics though.

I don't usually comment but I loved this story had me crying and if this was on Amazon I would have bought it you should try publishing it on wattpad

The story was incredibly touching but even more was the fact that you shared your own story and that you found "Raul". That was the true part that brought tears to my eyes as I couldn't help by think about the LOML and how much I miss him. Though his death was two years ago, my heart still aches.

Blessings to you "Raul" and your child:).

Gentle hugs,

TJ

I went back and forth as it being totally about sex. Nothing about sharing pizza with friends. The thing that kept my attention was the emotional parts of the "love". I did enjoy the storyline but would have enjoyed more background.

I loved this story so much it made me laugh and cry I know what it is like to hide your relationship because your lover is with a women and won't leave them please keep writing you are an awesome writer

Obviously this is wonderfully well written and poignant and heartbreaking and all the fabulous things everyone else has already said . . . I just wanted to chime in from the perspective of a bi, law school survivor from the mid-nineties (as opposed to your apparent early nineties), to compliment how well you told the story based on the time and place of its setting. It's easy for readers to forget (or just to not have experienced) the stigma and exhortations that were in place socially at that time. People are quick to say what John SHOULD have done, but, at that time, it wasn't as "easy" a decision to make as it is now (not that it's easy now).

I empathize with John, and made a similar choice in my own life. However, rather than a string of broken marriages, I have a wonderful wife, a happy marriage, and fantastic kids. So, it worked out in my case. I'm happy. But those choices, man. They're not simple. Ahh, that's the awful part.

I'm very happy that things worked out (for you anyway) in the end, and I just want to thank you for sharing such a relatable and moving story, and for writing it so well in the process. Just wonderful.

Kelly McGillis, not Meg Ryan. Good story though. Thanks.

Sorry, but you're wrong! Meg Ryan's character says it in the bar when Goose is playing the piano. Don't correct someone unless you know for sure you are right. Thank you, that is all!

John, life is to short to make a total mess of it.... the heart wants what the heart wants. Awesome story

Kinda wish I didn't read it. Now I just feel sad.

I almost cried more for John than for Mason...

Mason is happy, and John has lost everything...

It is soooooo sad that we allow others to choose our path...

but Mason was full of love, so he again found love...

Definitely wish I'd voted it higher, deserves a 5. Holds up over time. _Great_ story!

I just found you on Literotica. This is the second story of yours that I've read. It's amazing! I absolutely love it! I wasn't sure where it would go, I kept hoping they would end up together. But the ending was perfect! Great job

That was such a well written, well paced and moving story!!!

What an amazing, beautiful, heartfelt, jaw dropping, sexy, erotic, brokenhearted, loving, perfect story.

I have enjoyed this story more than any other that I have read on this website. The way their relationship started, the way it grew. The love those two young men held for each other is the dream I think most of us have. Beautifully written in my opinion. Thank you for sharing.

It is undoubtedly a beautifully written story so kudos for that. But it was much too sad. First, John loved Mace but was too uncaring to not fuck Vi while Mace heard it all. He wanted to hide, but was too blind to realize their love was obvious to many including his own mother and no one seemed to care. Was too selfish to make decisions that kept them in the same city to nurture their love. Was too unfeeling to recognize how he was hurting Mace by not giving enough or meeting his need yet doing nothing about it. My sadness that their was no HEA for them was ultimately replaced (by the last exchange) that Mace got his HEA!! John meanwhile, due to his own idiotic decisions, got the pain and regret of losing the LOHL, three failed marriages to heartbroken short-changed ex-wives, decades of loneliness, and a delusional belief that he was “not gay” despite adoring another man and enthusiastically embracing every gay sex act imaginable for years!! Huh. And how did John’s mom sit by and watch all this without helping him See the error of his ways?

I ugly cried so hard at the end of the story. Well done

You're a seasoned storyteller. I've read this story and one other one so far and both are well-written. The unveiling of characters' emotions and thoughts engage the reader and pulls him in. The detail of the love-making is even more arousing because the reader is intimate with Josie, Mace, and Freddie through your storytelling. The sex with the women and lack detail of their thoughts show the relationship as being only for carnal purposes. Very well done using those differences. An exhilarating and sad story that has been played out countless times in real life. Society's gradual acceptance of same-sex relationships can'tbe realized soon enough so that stories like these no longer exist. It's a statement of how much we need to do until there being gay is no longer a thing.

What a roller-coaster. It was a fairytale mixed with Realism and sadly that bastard had the last laugh. Love is so precious and so very fragile... Thanks writer.

I’m ugly crying right now, like fuck. I love you writing, it’s incredible, I feel like I get lost in your work. Appreciate the realism, I feel that combined with the phenomenal character development made the story and presented the epic love story so well. I shows how hard it was/is to be gay in many aspects of life. I completely understand what Freddie meant about how Mason and John where from different backgrounds and how it can effect on such a level. Thank you for writing this gem.

John why? Why did u do that to yourself? Even his mom accepted him I guess but still he tried to be “straight” and failed thrice. Him and mace could have a perfect life but it is what it is… I guess he tried to contain the lighting (their love) in a bottle but he failed to realize that love can’t be contained. I feel sorry for him.

Wow just wow

Heartbreaking but in a way way we have all experienced (at least all of us over a certain age). I love your writing and can’t wait to read what’s next. Thanks!

Love discovered, love hurt, love lost and love gained. Thank you!

Absolutely incredible.. I was totally wrapped up in this story.

It's 'real', it's painful, and it's joyous..

I pity the rich kid with everything but the ability to decide and follow his heart.

I know that the pain for 'Carrot' was real, but it was instructional.

Eventually he followed his heart and found happiness and a life partner.

Kudos: another great story.

DV19

Beautiful story….just so beautiful

Beautiful, beautiful story of love, loss and endurance. I relate to Mason so much. I felt every ounce of emotion off these words and I'm near tears. I love this type of erotica - porn with a plot, I say. I loved this story and I'm looking forward to reading more of your work!

good story

great details..4-5 stars