Lightning In a Bottle

"If you're going to fuck a guy in the ass for the first time, you may as well visit your first gay bar, too. And, we don't bite."

We went in, sat down, and ordered drinks. Peter introduced me to a couple of his friends, laughingly told them how and where he'd found me, and I proceeded to receive a panel tutorial on how to sex a man properly. I was surprised when one of them asked how big my dick was, and for some reason I shrank it in my answer.

When it was time for me to go, I thanked them for their wisdom. Peter passed me his number, told me there was always room in his life for another friend, and invited me back the following Wednesday, which he said was the big night out.

I planned to tell John I wanted to make love to him that night. But, he beat me to it. When I got home, he was already home, waiting for me in bed. I was still in my suit.

"Where have you been?" he asked. "I have been waiting for you. I want you to make love to me."

"Really? That's where I was. I want to make love to you, and I was out trying to figure out how to make it as easy on you as I could."

"It does not need to be easy. It just has to happen. I am not letting you leave for New York without it happening."

I almost ripped my suit off. "Lay on your stomach," I said. "And don't ask any questions." He rolled over, and I started at his shoulders, massaging and relaxing him. I worked my way past his ass to his feet and back up. I spread his butt cheeks and started licking his ass. He did not bristle. He was relaxed and enjoying it. I licked for as long as I could, until my tongue got tired. I warned him that I was going to penetrate him with my fingers, and I did, slowly working one and then two in. He was tight.

Just as I was thinking I could not wait much longer, John interrupted me. "I cannot wait much longer," he said. "At this point, I think the anticipation is turning to fear. I think you should just do it."

"Okay," I said. "But, you're in charge. So, let me know what you want me to do."

As he said "I will," I covered my dick and his ass crack in as much lube as I could. I made a complete mess.

"Lay on your left side," I said. "And roll your right leg over your left." When he did, I moved in behind him.

"Help me to the right spot." He did, grabbing my dick in his right hand and placing it at his opening.

Again, the details are not necessary. Suffice to say, it was not the magical first time experience you read about in online stories. It was hard work. A couple of times, we almost gave up. It took about half an hour or so, but I finally found myself about halfway in. He would not let me go any deeper. Or move.

"Take deep deep breaths," I instructed. "And, push back against me."

"I feel like I have to go to the bathroom."

"I know. But, you don't. "

I clamped him to my chest with my right arm. I kissed his neck. I sucked his ear. I whispered, "thank you for letting me do this . . . I love you."

John turned to me and gave me freedom. "Go ahead. I want to feel what you feel when I come inside you." I started sliding in and out of him. I noticed I went in a little deeper with each thrust. Before long, I was all the way in. The sensation had my entire body tingling. I could feel an orgasm starting in my feet. I stopped thrusting and turned his face to where I could kiss him.

"You feel so good, Josie," I said as I bucked a couple more times, my body convulsed, and I came inside him. I got light headed. I thought I was going to pass out. I pulled out and dove on his dick, making him come in my mouth, and swallowing all he gave.

We were curled up in each other, ready for sleep. "What did you think?" I asked.

"Physically, it was difficult. Emotionally, it was awesome. I felt like we were melting into each other."

"I know what you mean. When you do me, I feel so close and open to you, it's scary."

"You do not need to be afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid of you. I'm afraid of what you're doing to me."

*****

I was leaving straight from the office for New York. So, Friday morning was our last private time together before we returned to our girlfriends. I wound up making love to John for the second time. It was his idea, and he wanted to try it on his back. It was still a lot of work, but I liked that I could see his face, especially his eyes, as we made love.

As I picked up speed, John said "whoa whoa whoa," and I stopped.

"Oh, I did not mean for you to stop," he said. "You hit something in there that made me tingle. Start back up and see if you can find it again."

I must have, because it appeared as if John was enjoying being fucked. The hint of pleasure on his face was too much for me, and I came, driving deeply into him as I did, making him gasp. When I was drained, I pulled out, and finished him again with my mouth (I loved having his dick in my mouth). I gulped him dry, then licked down his legs and licked and sucked his feet and toes.

"You have to stop," he said. "It is way too intense after what I have been through this morning."

I climbed up, settled in next to him, and put my head on his chest. I loved hearing his voice through his chest.

"You seemed to enjoy that," he said.

"I did. I love blowing you."

"No, I meant what we did before that."

"Oh, yeah, that was awesome, too. I especially liked being able to see you while we did it."

"You found something in there," he said.

"I think it was your prostate," I answered, thinking of what Peter had told me.

"What is that?" he asked.

"I don't know. I just know it's in there somewhere and that, when it's found, it's supposed to be transformative."

"It was. It actually felt good having you inside of me."

We laid there quietly, listening to each other breathe.

"Are you going to think about me this weekend?" he asked.

"Of course. Are you going to think about me?"

"Only when I am awake. When I am asleep, I am going to dream about you."

I rolled onto him, and put my hands under my chin on his chest. We stared at each other for a long time, smiling. We said a lot, without uttering a word.

We had lunch before I headed to the airport and he headed to Chicago. I was melancholy as I flew east. I was sad to be leaving John for days. And, I was pensive that a weekend with Vi would shock him back to reality and who he was.

I did not have the same worry for me. I had never felt for another what I felt for John. It really was lightning in a bottle, although not for the reason John claimed.

*****

Ellie and I had a fine weekend. I tried not to talk about John, as I did not want to arouse any suspicions. And, we went at each other hard. We were young, so sex usually led to more sex. And, we were good at it. There was no work, just easy pleasure.

By Sunday morning, I was tired. And, I was trying to save something for John, who was picking me up at the airport. But, Ellie would have none of it, taking my soft dick in her mouth, working me to hardness (I loved getting hard in someone's mouth), and then deep throating me until I filled her throat.

I thought reciprocation was only fair, so I went down on her. As I was getting her close, she begged me to fuck her. When I told her that I was not sure I could, she told me to look at my dick, which I knew was hard. Cornered, I lowered myself into her. She rolled me onto my back, and rode me, soaking me with her wetness and making herself - and then me - come.

As we tried to recover, I offered that my dick was exhausted.

"How do you think I feel?" she asked.

"Like a popsicle?" I answered.

She cocked her head and thought for second. "You know, I had never thought of that, but, yes, I felt like a popsicle, impaled on your stick."

We parted as I hailed a cab to LaGuardia. There was no sadness or tearful "I love you's." We didn't love each other. That's not what we were doing. We were sex partners and not much more. For a year, it had been enough. Now, it wasn't.

*****

John was waiting at the gate for me. Rather than shake my hand, he wrapped me in a full embrace, and turned me in a circle. "Oh, Mace, I am so glad you are home."

"Me, too."

"Now, take me to bed, or lose me forever," he demanded, quoting Meg Ryan from Top Gun.

We floated through the airport. In the car, we held hands. I loved John's hands, especially the hair on the back of them. I raised his right hand to my face and kissed it.

Neither of us talked about our weekends. I am sure we assumed the other didn't want to hear about whatever had happened with Ellie and Vi. I know I had no interest in knowing what, if anything, they did together.

We were pawing at each other as we climbed the stairs, and we were both naked by the time we got to the bedroom. We climbed into bed and kissed just like we had the first time, rolling back and forth across the bed and mauling each other with reckless abandon. When we finally calmed down, I asked John to make love to me. He, of course, agreed. I was on my back when he entered me. He lasted longer than he ever had, sliding in and out of me over and over. I was about to ask him to stop when he hit my prostate, and a jolt shot through me. He kept going as I thrashed back and forth and cried out, coming spontaneously all over my face and neck. My orgasm took him over the edge, and he came, too, before collapsing.

"My arms were getting sore," he said.

"Well, then imagine how my ass and legs were feeling, Mr. Selfish."

"But, they are not my ass and legs, so I am not sure why I should imagine anything about them," he rejoined, laughing.

"If I could, I'd grudge fuck you right now."

"Carrot, you make everything sound so romantic. What am I supposed to say, 'I wish you could grudge fuck me, too'?"

"Probably not," I said. "But, I bet you do."

"Actually, I do. A little."

We rolled into each other, I put my hands in front of my face, and John pulled me into his chest, resting his chin on my head. "We have to live together this year," he said. "I cannot go two days without seeing you again. It made me ache."

"I know how you feel. I had a decent time, but every time I saw a blue Cherokee, my heart skipped a beat."

"You love me."

"I do. Tons."

It was early evening, but we fell asleep. When we woke up, the room was pitch black. It was like a haunted house. The clock said 10:15. It wasn't even bedtime.

We went to the living room to listen to music and talk. John sat on the couch, and I laid with my head in his lap.

"Where does this wind up?" I asked.

"I am not sure. It will be difficult to explain you to my wife and children."

"I had the same thought."

"But, I definitely want a wife and children."

"Me, too."

"I do not think we need to make any big decisions tonight," John said. "I think maybe we should just let it ride and enjoy the love of a lifetime. And, that is what this is, at least for me."

"It is for me, too. And, that means it's going to be hard ever to let it go."

"I know, Mace. . . . I know."

We fell asleep. When we woke up, it was light out.

Part Seven

Our summer went on like that. During the week, we had sex most mornings. We went to work. We visited each other throughout the day. We went home. We had sex most nights. We went to sleep. We usually slept wrapped up in each other. Often, we slept mouth to mouth.

On weekends, we lounged the mornings away in bed. After sex, I would place my head on John's chest, and he would read aloud to me, always from P.G. Wodehouse. I loved feeling John's voice resonate in his chest. Often, I would move to his crotch as he read, taking his soft dick in my mouth and toying with it until it got hard. He'd keep reading, pausing only when it was time for him to come. I'd swallow him and move back to his chest.

Other times, I would get hard listening to him. I'd grab the book from him and read to him while I straddled his chest and he blew me, pausing only when it was time for me to come.

We got really good at sexing each other. Of all the things we did, I preferred having him in my mouth. I loved controlling and delivering his pleasure. I especially liked when he straddled me and fucked my face, although describing it thusly makes it sound way more base than it was. It was not a carnal act of lust; it was an act of love

We made love a lot, usually with John topping me. For every time I fucked him, he fucked me thrice. I liked bottoming more than he did, and he liked topping more than I did.

We spent a lot of time at Forest Park, talking our way around the 6.2 mile track that encircled it. We talked a lot about what we were doing, and what it meant. John was convinced our affair did not have to mean we were gay, we had just caught lightning in a bottle. I was not so sure. I started to look backward, wondering if my religion and upbringing had convinced me of something that was not true.

We spent most evenings on the couch, listening to music and reading to each other. When John read, I sat back against him, so I could feel his voice through his chest. When I read, John sat at the opposite end of the couch, either locking his legs in mine or pressing the bottom of his feet to the bottom of mine.

We absented ourselves from most of the firm's summer social events. We stopped caring if our absences were noticeable. Our summer together was winding down, and we were both pensive about what the future held. We were an island.

*****

The final weekend of my summer (with Chicago's trimesters, John would be at the Firm another month after I left), my golfing buddy from law school, Freddie Patterson, visited. Freddie had gone to school in Boulder, and he was the definition of crunchy. He had curly brown hair that he spent no time on. He had twinkly eyes, and his smile lit up his face. He wore peasant shirts and ripped jeans and Birkenstocks. He was stunning. He was easily the most handsome man I had ever met in real life. When Ellie met him, she said, "He's so hot he sucked the oxygen from the room." She did not overstate it.

John was going to have dinner with us on Friday night, then leave early Saturday for Chicago to visit Vi. Freddie was staying with us, and John had told me "there was no way" he could stay in St. Louis and not have me in his bed, and he did not want Freddie to figure out or find out what was going on.

The best laid plans . . . . When John went to the bathroom during dinner, Freddie looked at me and announced "that guy's in love with you."

"He is not."

"You may not know it, but he is. You should see the way he looks at you. It's obvious."

"I think you're wrong," I protested.

"I'm not. So, be careful."

"Careful of what?" I asked.

"You know, if he tries to talk you into something."

"I'm not easily persuadable," I lied.

With Freddie settled on the couch, I tried to stay in my bed. I just couldn't. My nights with John were dwindling, and I didn't want to sacrifice one for appearance's sake. So, I closed my bedroom door, closed John's bedroom door, and climbed into bed with him.

We were face to face, kissing lightly. I whispered, "We can't make any noise."

"It will be hard to fuck you and not make noise," he answered.

"You're going to fuck me?" I asked.

"You are going to be gone soon. I am not going to waste one of our few remaining nights."

"By the way, Freddie thinks you're in love with me."

"I am," he responded.

"I know," I said. "But, if Freddie figured it out, then everyone else will, too. He's not insightful."

"Does he think you are in love with me?"

"No. He thinks I should be careful."

"Interesting," John said, pausing. "You are in love with me, though, right?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then tell me."

"That's like saying there's gravity. Isn't it evident?"

"It is, but I want to hear it."

"Fine," I said, sarcastically. "I'm in love with you, John Chester Frederick the Third. I love you more than life itself. I'll never love another the way I love you, heart and soul, mind and body."

"I am glad," he said. "If you love me so much, let me fuck you right now."

"I couldn't stop you even if I wanted to."

I rolled onto my back and guided John inside me. To avoid making noise, he moved in and out of me very slowly.

"I have never fucked anyone so slowly," John whispered. "It feels incredible."

"I know," I said. "My whole body is on fire."

I have no idea how long he went at me, but it was a long time. We were soaked with sweat by the time I felt him swell and spill inside me. He collapsed onto me.

"My arms are like jelly," he said.

"So are my legs."

"I want you to come."

"I'm really close. That was fucking awesome, no pun intended," I laughed.

John raised up, kissed me softly, and then licked down my chin and neck, nipple to nipple, and then down my treasure trail to my dick. He took me in his hand and his mouth, and I came hard and long. Cum ran out of John's mouth and down my dick. When John pulled off, he spit my cum in his hands, and then wiped it on the towel we now kept for such things. After cleaning me up, he dropped down beside me.

"Jesus, Mace. That was like a gallon of cum. There was no way I could swallow all that."

"I was really turned on. I just got an awesome lay from an awesome guy."

"I am awesome," he deadpanned.

I had to pee, so I slipped on my boxers, quietly left John's room, and then quietly left my room. Freddie was in the hallway, also headed to the bathroom.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," he responded. "Are you alright? You're soaked with sweat."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I get hot when I sleep," I lied. "And, I have night terrors. Do me a favor, and wake me up tomorrow. I've been oversleeping lately, and I don't want to rush around."

"Sure," he said.

"You go first," I said. "I'll wait."

When I climbed back into bed, John was asleep. I nudged him awake. "Hey, Josie," I whispered. "Wake up."

"Go to sleep," he said, not opening his eyes.

"No. I want you to fuck me again. The last one was for Friday night. Since you're not going to be here tomorrow night, I need one for Saturday night."

"I am really tired," he said.

"Lay on your back," I instructed. He did, and I made love to his body with my lips and tongue. I took him in my mouth. When I had him good and hard, I climbed on and gently rode him, again going very slow to make sure we made no noise. John never opened his eyes. I propped myself on my arms and whispered "Look at me. And touch me."

John opened his eyes and looked directly at me. With the door closed, the room was so dark it was difficult to see him.

"I love you, Josie. I really do."

"I love you, too, Carrot. I really do."

"I want to come when you come," I said.

"I am very close."

"Touch me."

John took my dick in his hand and slowly stroked it.

"Tell me when you're ready," I whispered.

"I am almost there."

"Me, too."

"I am coming."

"Me, too."

I felt him swell inside me as I unloaded on the paneling yet again.

"Oh, fuck," he grunted, a little too loudly.

"Shhhhh," I whispered.

"Keep going," he said. "I think I am going to come again."

I kept riding him. I felt him swell in me again. He raised up and bit my shoulder as he came again, letting out a low, guttural groan as he did. I kissed his forehead, his nose, and his mouth.

"It just keeps getting better and better," he said.

"I know, Ass," I said, quoting P.G. Wodehouse. "You're ruining me for everyone else."

"I am not sure there should ever be anyone else."

"I'm not, either."

When I had cleaned myself up, I told John I was going to sleep in my own bed. One, I had to get up early for golf. Two, for cover, I had asked Freddie to wake me up.

"Okay," he said. "But, kiss me good-bye in the morning. Without waking me up."

"I'll try," I said.

*****

When I went into John's room the next morning, he was awake. "Make love to me before you leave," he demanded.