by NonStopFunGuy
Sorry, but your Lilac:/Madison: style of writing interrupts the flow and spoils your story for me.
Go for it. This has to be good for at least two or three chapters.
ugh sorry, tis format didnt do anything for your story nor for your characters. if i hadnt read your previous stories and enjoyed some of them, i wouldnt even care to finish half a page.
Maybe others don't really like this format but I think it's pretty good. Enjoyed the story! And this is my first comment here (though I'm certainly no newbie here), shows how much I like this.
I always love the pinheads that want criticise anonymously. I personally thought it was good story and I hate when it is all narrative. That being said I think a bit of narrative perhaps in setting the stage intermixed with the discussions between the participants would have added a lot to the suspension of disbelief, But that just me and I'm not going to say I can do any better.
Great story,but just to let you know the black girl said "baby" alot and we dont really say that so next time just kept that to a low ok?
I don't know why you'd even consider this. Complete waste of time. You should delete this story.