All Comments on 'Lisa's Awakening Ch. 01'

Having both girls with names equally short and both starting with the same letter makes this hard to follow.

I agree, having 2 short L names made it difficult. Then the guy also has a short L name.

Good premise.

Pretty good sex scenes.

But, YOU NEED AN EDITOR. The number of spelling and gramatical errors what overwhelming. You wrote, for example TAUGHT when you meant TAUT. You fail to use apostrophes when you're showing possession. More. Many more. Too many more.

Would have liked more foreplay with Lisa. Would have liked description of her handling his cock (any cock) for the first time, and enjoying his reactions to it. Would have liked dialog about whether he was enjoying what she was doing. Would not have been in such a rush to get on with her being fucked.

Nevertheless, the story was good.

Four stars.

LOVE its inevitability, and rightness.

Give her my contact info?

Wow this dude got a story to tell his boys