All Comments on 'Little Man Pretty Girl Ch. 02'

You write a good story

Great story, I'm really enjoying it!

Terrific story, enjoyed every page. Thanks and keep writing.

Very sensitively and lovingly writen and very erotic for me. I encourage you to continue writing more about these same wo-men as well as other transgender erotica. Thanks!

Chap. 1 started off really well and I thoroughly enjoyed it. However, Chap. 2 fell apart for me personally.

In general, I have found your writing to be enjoyable, relatively mistake free and credible. However, its clear you know very little about computer security. Your lack of knowledge regarding the subject and its implementation is obvious to the point of being silly. Mouseholes?!? And, you plug them with code?! That is utter nonsense.

Moreover, you have our protagonist hack into the state government and, poof!, create a new ID. Completely lacking credibility both in terms of the ease at how it was accomplished, much less the simplicity of the problem i.e. fabricating an official identity.

For anyone to suspend their disbelief, you must present characters in a credible light. That said, its really a matter of degree as to whether the lack of credibility overshadowed the more positive elements. For me, it did, which is a shame since I really wanted to like this story. Instead, I found it to be implausibly contrived.

Good luck with your next story, and stay away from topics that you know little about.

i love this story as well as your others they are well writen and very descritive please continue your glorious work

While I liked the topic, (I love crossdressers), you obviously know very little about TG/TS individuals. It doesn't take a matter of weeks to go through an entire gender change; you have to go through therapy first, then hormones, then implants. Typically, it takes months to years. The therapy is to ensure that you're not just confused or doing it because you want to be different. It's to make sure that you are honestly TG/TS. Beyond these, there are numerous other things tha tmust be done before an operation will be performed, even just breast implants.

Additionally, your writing style is ATROCIOUS. You have countless spelling and grammatical errors and to be honest, the only reason I continued reading was for the sex, which wasn't even that graphic. Perhaps you should go back to English 101 and learn how to format sentences correctly.

You continue to amaze me with your talent. I hope that you continue your writeing on this website. Great work!

Their are a couple of people that left negative comments. I am disheartened that you would do such a thing. Fist of all this is a work of fiction. You don't honestily expect somebody to go out and find a job for every single story they write do you. Hell, their are TV shows that are completely BS too. Second of all, authors appreciate CONSTRUCTIVE critism. If all you wanted to do was to derate something, go elsewhere.

People write stories for this website because they enjoy it. They do this of their own freewill and on their own time. It's not as easy as it might seem to create a work of literature like this. I have a great deal of admiration for anybody that takes the time to create such a piece. If people really don't like a story, maybe they should write their own!

Thanks for the wonderful story

loved this story soooo sexy

never mind de hurlers on the dich (that means take all coments with a pinch of salt and never mind the snide renarks if they want perfect spelling tell dem 2 use spell cheker ha

But serousley you right a good story and plot we all know that it takes time to get all that work done and all /mouse holes and id etc a nice touch its fiction after all when u right a story you have little bits of info to suporte it and its this that makes the story flow, im reading all your work in sequince and so far have found it all very good, thank you !!!

Since reading your story, I’ve thought long if I should write a critique or not, as I do not want to discourage you in continuing. You do have a strong ability in weaving a storyteller’s web. Since you do have potentials, you should continue and develop your skills.

Even though I know that at times it is more important that the storyteller tell the story than it is to have the reader read the story, I was still very disappointed in the fact that your story was purely a fantasy tale devoid of reality. As such, situations easily became unbelievable, and I can only accredit and understand that the expressed desires for fantasy to at least take factual form in fiction were too strong.

What I cannot understand, nor give any form of acceptance to, was your usage of the word “coarse”.

There is the word “coarse”, meaning “something rough.” Than there is the word “course”, as in “the direction taken.” Though they are vocalized in most English dialects the same, they are neither written, nor have the same meanings.

You continually used only “coarse” in all of your sentences, no matter if the word meaning fit, or not. You wrote such as, “Of coarse, I didn’t think so…” or “It was the next coarse of action taken…”

The correct and proper word usage would be, “Of course his mannerisms are very coarse in natural, and it was quite obvious to see this during the course of the evening.”

Unfortunately a spell checker is not going to catch such blatant abuses of the English language. You are going to have to simply take a deeper look into your personal usage of the English language and change.

In doing so, I would hope that you not only see, and catch, how you use the English language, but also how variations in language and wordage can be used to express characterizations in the personas of your stories.

Good story that flowed well and was very entertaining. I rated it down because there were so many mispellings and incorrect words. Get some one to proofread in the future.

That was a fantastic tale of love and acceptance. I read this story and so wished that I could meet the characters.

I really enjoyed the story, however, you might need to work on your grammar, spelling and punctuation. Other than those, I loved it, keep it up

like most of the people i loved the story - great sex ,good characters but please check the spelling & grammar

I really liked this story, a great ending, good storyline.

this is the best story on this site bar none!!!

Another very good story, once again spoiled by your spelling. However, the basic story is what it's all about, and that was great. Thank you

Shouldn't we all, girl ?

I so enjoy your stories, you give such depth to your characters, and while the spelling and grammar errors can impede the flow of reading it, at least they are consistant. After a couple pages I was able to easily understand what was actually meant, and could start making changes in my head. Its the way your characters interact that makes your story such an enjoyable read. By all means, see if you can get someone to proofread your stories for errors... but PLEASE keep writing stories like these and don't worry about tech. details too much... After 24 years of SW development, "mouseholes" might very well be how I would explain how I "do what I do" to someone that wasn't a software engineer or "hacker". Keep up the great work!

love this story

To my (dutch) experience (7 operations in the last two and a half years), you have to put on your operating gown in your room, before being wheeled on your bed by a nurse to the airlock of the initiation/recovery room, where you are tranferred to a member of the staff that takes you into the room, where an IV needle is applied. And after that you are wheeled into the OR, where you have to climb/shift from your bed onto the operating table; and only then the anestetic is applied. And after surgery, patients are never allowed to get out of bed in a recovery room, and moreover, visitors are never allowed there, to avoid contamination (airlock again!). So only after you are returned to your room, you can get out of bed and receive visitors. Also there is no mentioning of the awkward infusion stands they had to drag along while walking their room (this would have added to the 'drama'). since both 'girls' had to be attached to a drip line (pump)and a morphia pump.

In with a roar, out with a yawn.

This was an erotic story with some surprisingly powerful social moments in it. These moments took far too long and really turned it into a boner killer. The entire last act was just a story about surgery and sexual identity... interesting? Yes. Erotica? No.

One great piece of writing...xoxo

I loved the story, but PLEASE get someone to edit/proofread. Simple punctuation and spelling corrections and it would've been perfect!

i wish this would happen to me!!! Love it

Really enjoyed the story, however as others have said, get an editor, the last couple of pages in particular were so full of errors that it became distracting.

Also, the ending felt rushed.....

You may have considered putting a wrap on LMPG before you got to part where Jeri and her trans roommate went on their double date with a those two guys.

You’re telling your own semi auto biographical story here; I got that, but perhaps with better editing, this story could have been condensed down to maybe a third of its total length, as well as aiding in correcting your obvious spelling and grammar errors Scribler.

Overall though, I thought this was a good story.