All Comments on 'Live from the Game Ch. 02'

by jezzaz

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  • 128 Comments
Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333over 10 years ago
Loved it

The last chapter was great, but this was even better. Well written, engaging, authentic, etc. five stars. Can't wait for the next installment.

Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333over 10 years ago
One more thought

I love the fact that we still have yet to truly hear anything from the wife. The suspense is building.

msethjmsethjover 10 years ago
Crystal

I had to stop reading her justifications because I was so angry I couldn't hold my iPad still, way to emotionally engage your readers! 5*

laptopwriterlaptopwriterover 10 years ago
I was just about to turn off the computer and go to bed when this popped up...

I'm glad it did. I am enjoying the read.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Fucking Brilliant Chapter!

Hey all you classic LW story-lovers, this one's for you!

Enjoy!

Happy New Year!

I can only hope succeeding chapters stand up to this one!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
The cunt needs to be taken down.....hard.....

And everyone around her needs to go down hard too. Perhaps with a good dose of HIV mixed in....

Sid0604Sid0604over 10 years ago
Many thanks

I'm enjoying your story and I'm looking forward to reading the rest. Thank you.

DevotedWifeDevotedWifeover 10 years ago
This chapter could be subtitled "Conversation with a Cheater"

He did a great job standing up to her.

I know just how you feel, msethj. Sometimes I get so angry at characters, I curse them out loud and need to walk around the house, to burn off the nervous energy they imbue!

I agree that this chapter was so good, it may be hard for future chapters to measure up. What's left for the wife to say? How did she know her husband her husband wouldn't want to engage in high-risk sexual behavior, if they never discussed it? Is it better to be caught with your lover than your husband? She had the joy of being in the throes of new love, while he had no such fun secret to preoccupy him, as he took out the garbage and paid the bills. Selfish, selfish, selfish...If women want men to cuckold, it is obvious from this and many other sites that there are plenty of men who would beg them to do so. But many it's not so much fun, if you're not REALLY cheating.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
TOO MUCH DIRBBLE!!!!!!

More action LESS dribble, Husband should seek to destroy the Cheater's life,&business,wealth to start.Next cause his WIFE , Pain &Shame to boot.PS::Please try not to take to long writting Chapter 3. Thank you!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Much better than Ch 1!

'nuff said.

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveover 10 years ago
Damn

Excellent chapter. What a fucking cunt. That whore needs to be taken down. Hard. As for the cunt wife, we'll see. Please continue.

starmanfivestarmanfiveover 10 years ago
This is great!

I have wanted to read a story like this for months. F..ING BRILLIANT WRITING.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Quite a story

This is a very good, well thought out work. I love the insight into computer hackers.

For those old enough and from the Mid West the radio personality is Howard Miller from WIND in Chicago. He also was a rounder in his day married to high profile singers and actresses.

His show turned into the original conservative radio platform...look it up

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

I like.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
I LOVED THE BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN HIM AND HER

Every single bullshit excuse she and other cheaters give he destroyed beautifully. 5 stars all the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

studebakerhawkstudebakerhawkover 10 years ago
My problem with this story is simple...

...I hate having to wait for the next chapter. Good job! Thank you for sharing it with us.

user110user110over 10 years ago
i agree with studebakerhawk

that is all.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
simply awesome!!!

you have done a brilliant job of looking through the minds of men who believe in institution of marriage , who love their family unconditionally, who give up everything for their family. yet because of men like the assholes in this story who are fucking married women, ppl think men cheat at the drop of the hat. All feminists think that for a women to get involved with other man who is not her husband/fiance she would have to have an emotional connection which her husband is not able to provide. but i don't think it is true anymore with all these birth control pills, condoms and other contraceptives men and women have forgotten what is important in life i.e., honor , pride and life lead with dignity and not some giggolo's and sluts as sex is available so easily these days. if one wants to explore their sexuality let them do with their husbands and partners and not by cheating them. thanks to western influence where popular belief's like losing virginity on prom nights etc has spread like wildfire , yes it may even be true, teenagers losing control when they should focusing more on important things at that stage of life. hence its no surprise an average of two marriages in the lifetime of so called developed civilized countries of the world.

ppl divorce for trivial reasons and yet we can't criticize them bcos its their personal lives.

I hope there isn't any form of reconciliation and husband delivers a strong message to pathetic disgusting ppl who are known as cuckolds who derive happiness by letting others fuck their loved ones or the wimps who don't seem to have balls to do anything abt the hulimiation.

HarddaysknightHarddaysknightover 10 years ago
Very emotional stuff.

What married man can read this without becoming angry? You have added to your setup. The real challenge is to end this as well as it started. Having the wife sold into slavery and costing the lover his job has been done a few times. Of course the wife will apologize and claim it was just a fling, which will really piss off your readers, but I am very interested to see if you can give us an ending as emotional and interesting as the build up. Thanks for writing. This takes effort and time and it is appreciated. Also, we thank you for the quick second chapter. I hope to see the third one tomorrow!

deadrabbitsdeadrabbitsover 10 years ago
Nice Job.

So far, I'm liking this a lot. I can't wait for the next installment. Please hurry.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Like it

I have enjoyed it and like your other fans can't wait for your next effort, I give it a five.

JounarJounarover 10 years ago

Another very good chapter. Not voting until all chapters are posted tho due to this author having similar well written stories up until the last chapter which turn into RACC crap and character's having sudden personality changes to fit it.

Jezzaz, you come up with some of the most unique settings, great dialogue between characters and most wicked and deplorable of spouces but tend to blow it all in the last chapter due to bullshit and lame reconciliations. For once, just once, can we have a main character with a backbone and balls plzkthx.

dinkymacdinkymacover 10 years ago
Nice!

Great story so far....worried about the ending though.

TheUnoriginalistTheUnoriginalistover 10 years ago
Ha

"Your storytelling is really good, but I'm not going to give you credit for that until you've proven to me that you're going to in the story the way I would want to end it."

Kids say the darndest things.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Interesting Story

I am a fan cf your work but find this one full of unnecessary asides. We know Ryan is the chubby hero who has everybody on his back. We know nothing about who his wife really is. Why wouldn't Ryan hack into his wife's phone and email first? That would give her side and proof of the time frame. With stub hub knowing who owns a ticket does not prove who used it,

I found the argument with the cheating wife too long. Her claim that Ryan's wife loves both men is bs. Serve the bitch at the next game and move on. Don't have Ryan do a makeover fix himself up and reconcile.

Looking forward to the rest of the story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Good story

Good story but so ...........SLOW

looking4itlooking4itover 10 years ago
Nice!

I am really enjoying reading your stories. One thing you truly excel at is working your chapters to be complete ideas from beginning to end. They are not stand alone stories but they are one complete thought throughout. In this chapter I was intrigued to see how you've thought through how to confront the normal reasonings cheaters provide both themselves and others. Not many here have taken that on. Most do a good (or not so good) job of reacting one way or another but your character first attacked cheater logic before the physical or reactionary attack commenced. Looking forward to the next chapter.

lonewolf3307lonewolf3307over 10 years ago
Okay, finally we're getting somewhere...

... Hopefully (there's that word again), we can get this ball rolling. 3 stars for this installment which is one better than Ch. 01.

Bill1104Bill1104over 10 years ago
This is the best!

I really enjoy the LW stories here and this one is shaping up to be the best one I've read. I particularly enjoyed the conversation in the bar where he pointed out all the fallacies of her arguments.

Bill1104

LeFrog08LeFrog08over 10 years ago
very good

I hope he BURNS the cheating bitch. On national TV!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
excellent

Can't wait to see the next chapter

Vulcan_in_OhioVulcan_in_Ohioover 10 years ago
Too bad we have to wait for more chapters

Getting exciting. One question -- I believe in chapter 01 Ryan was driving from Madison back to Chicago and he was "300 miles away" from his wife (he was discussing the game and his wife with Simon). Then we find out he drove the distance home in two hours. I wondered if he had a disguised Chrysler that could average 150 miles per hour! Then I checked Google Maps and found the distance to be 146 miles, 2 hours and 41 minutes driving time (toll booths play a part in that). In both chapters there were also a few writing errors, apostrophes where there was no possessive, and the like.

Despite the above examples of a need for better editing, I'm really enjoying the story. The plot is exciting and fairly original (though I believe OHIO also had a story with the wife cheating at a game), it reads smoothly, and it is well-written, keeping this reader's interest. Wonder if Ryan, though out of shape, has some old karate moves for the inevitable confrontation with wifey's lover? His daughter takes lessons -- was that foreshadowing, or irrelevant coincidence? Hope more chapters come quickly; I'm hooked. Thanks for writing.

katranmankatranmanover 10 years ago
Great so Far

Wonderful setup, excellent job. Now, please finish strong and don't let the bitch off the hook! No RAAC crap ending this time, OK?

OverstarOverstarover 10 years ago
Very good

I'm hooked. Can't wait for the next chapter. Bravo.

Bev59Bev59over 10 years ago
I'm hooked too

Wow, am I ever hooked. I'll have to check out your other stories. It's a time like this when I wish all the chapters were here right now. My husband is working today but we will catch up this weekend, he too will love this story. Keep going, I'm 100% in.

xoxoxo Bev

svg1svg1over 10 years ago
Great cliffhanger

I sincerely hope that subsequent chapters arrive soon. This, so far is among my top 3 favorites. Next chapters could place it firmly in first place. There are several avenues that jezzaz could take us. The game cam at Wrigley Field is possible, like previous comments state, I wonder if Solomon could hack into the controlling software of the cameras....... But this is not the only way, by far, that Deanna could fall. It will be up to jezzaz and Ryan to decide. When the s... hits the fan, it's hard to imagine Crystal not being caught in the crossfire. Also, there's room for Crystal having some influence on Deanna. Seems as Crystal MAY have had an awakening. The way Ryan dissected every argument to justify and defend cheating that Crystal had was masterful. What ever Ryan decides to do, it's clear that he absolutely will not be a willing cuckhold. There is going to be consequences. Some details about Ryan may seem like pointless detours, but any one of them could play into the next chapters. There's some great symbolism in both chapters, one example is Deanna taking down the photograph above the marital bed that Ryan took during the honeymoon, and replacing it with a picture of a clown. Kind of signifies how Deanna regards her marriage. I agree with other comments posted, I hope the next chapters come very soon.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
You got me hooked too, this is a 5 star story from this site with to many chuckie ones

Well looks like Deanna is in for a big fall. He got his tees crossed and is getting ready to strike. I think crystal will get her due. I hope he doesn't do any thing stupid. Even with all his evidence the courts will split 50/50 and she gets the kids and child support so much for the law. Only if she commits a felony, does drugs, or puts the kids in harms way could he get the kids. So we will see how he resolves this. Maybe divorce is not the answer if this is what will happen. She is obviously doing something against her nature maybe a split personality but what ever her reasons he still can not win legally.

Rogn123Rogn123over 10 years ago
the wife may get off to the risk of getting caught

But why would her married, wealthy lover run the risk? Well written and enjoyable, but please give an explanation why lover boy doesn't seem to care if he is seen by his friends and relatives frolicking with a woman not his wife.

green117green117over 10 years ago
very good chapter

On the down side, it mostly just justifies the attitudes most of the readers of this board have on cheating (not that I disagree) - but I'm saying that that as a way of building emotional buy in it is kinda facile... so far.

The commentors, as always, are a study themselves - very few have mentioned that the wife is just a cypher - what is her "present" to her husband?

And there are the kids - whom he is very attached to. What kind of actions can he do without seriously harming them?

Very, very good development. I am happy there are two more chapters, since one would be a bit short to deal with the situation you have created.

I suppose... since this is a fairly realistic portrayal (except having the pet hacker to hand.... come on, I know, but really?)... simply showing all the distrust that now is unavoidable in the relationship? Not "revenge", just reality...

Using the every wednesday at rigley thing even gives plausible deniability...

Green-something

SierraWhiskeySierraWhiskeyover 10 years ago
Excellent!!!

A page turner. I couldn't read fast enough and was disappointed when the chapter ended. This story is chock full of emotional angst. Love the character development. Can't wait for the rest of the story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Daddy don't preach

So you 've got us all looking forward to the last installment, with a great style and some interesting characters, but I have 2 mild complaints: 1) Ryan got a little preachy, didn't he? So the author felt like refuting all the excuses cheaters make, but that doesn't fix problem #2; where is the sex? I don't think we're going to get any.

SKHPSKHPover 10 years ago
I enjoyed it

Please let the next installment follow immediately! I can't stand the tension. Thanks for sharing an excellent story (5*).

How many chapters are due to follow?

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Wow

The comments that precede mine tell you all you need to know. The collective analysis and intelligent insight into the story are truly excellent, as is your post.

I never read the comments much when I first discovered this site, but it is critical to do so to gain a deeper understanding of the work. It is like having a Cliff Notes annotated rehash right after the story.

You should be very proud of your work here to date. Like Hardday indicated, and others, the final resolution is critical to the overall quality of the story, but two "5's" in a row from me.

Patillie

chastenchastenover 10 years ago

I'm enjoying this a lot.

Frankcheng123Frankcheng123over 10 years ago
Keep it coming ... please

Cliffhangers are bittersweet... I can't hardly wait for next installment...

Gives me a reason to check back for new stories..

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
you got me hooked/so how does he resolve the situation

3 kids a wife whom was his lover and friend for all those years changes and goes for a fling. why? seeing how the no fault divorce cases are handled it seems he will be the loser. he is better off seeing if he can find a resolution to her cheating. after aLL those years everything is not black and white. the courts will kill him if he goes there. no winners in this story . then if he burns the bitch he will have to deal with the kids. so we wait for the next chapter.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
So he's letting Crystal cuck her husband?

This dude seriously needs to end up with his balls cut off, because it's pretty clear he won't tolerate that in his own wife, but will help his wife's whoring best friend, the one who help wreck his marriage and force the incoming divorce, help her cover up her cheating?

He's even skankier than Deanna unless he actually has the balls to live by what he just forced Charlie to live with.

jasonnhjasonnhover 10 years ago
Outstanding confrontation

This was an outstanding rebuttal of the cheater's litany of excuses. It's only sex, it's your fault because you are not a sex God, blah, blah, blah. He shreds her excuses and shows Crystal, and by implication his wife and all cheaters, as the selfish fools that they are.

I dislike the wishy washy thinking about whether he will leave his wife or not. This is an egregious affair and his wife is obviously reveling in it. There is NO redemption here. I get the fact that a guy in this situation might be heartsick but if you have any self respect you cannot ignore this. Divorce is a necessity. He seems to be coming to the same conclusion. The challenge is, can you keep up the excellent tension you have developed so far as he confronts his wife? That will be necessary to maintain the high quality storytelling you have established so far.

DunaDunaover 10 years ago
I am curious

It is funny he confronted Crystal, but she got a last chance. Your story, I am curiouse to read the next chapters. You wrote a lot of reconciliation story, so........

I gave 5*****, because I am boring from the cuck stories, but Crystal's last chance is a sign for RAAC........

DrallDrallover 10 years ago
A really good story!

Please continue. I look forward to their future. Thank you!

rainbow001rainbow001over 10 years ago
Great Story Arc

The build up to this point is great. As HardDays mentioned your challenge is to finish as strong as you started. That will be a tough assignment as to this point you have written something that will stand on this website for a long time. Thank you for sharing your work.

DunaDunaover 10 years ago
Not ordinary solutions

Not ordinary solutions between RAAC and soon divorce :

1. Two sided open marriage which will go postponed divorce when the youngest child will be 18 years old. (I think his wife will not be happy.....)

2. PROVISORY (very important provisory) reconcilation with a posponed divorce, when the youngest child will be 18 years old.

In both cases he had to hid his divorce aim and to gather secret deposit for reaching better share than 50:50%.

connoisseur29connoisseur29over 10 years ago
*****

Hey, Dude, this is a good story. I sure hope it's not a dead end. Anxious to read more of it. Fantabulous! Cheers!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Stumped

Okay, what is RAAC?

DunaDunaover 10 years ago
The two are not same

@ Anon Definition explanetion:

1. RAAC= Reconcilation At All Circumstances is when somebody forgives so the other does not deserve it or the cheating/disrespect will repeat after half-1-5 years later.

2. Succesful Reconcilation when the other spouse deserves it and the disrespect will never happen again........

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
RAAC

Reconciliation at any cost.

Roughly translated as giving up your mancard to stay with a cheater cos you love her too much to bear losing her.

ken philipsken philipsover 10 years ago
Great Story - But Is Ryan Being Too Stubborn?

This is a wonderful story, building great tension and being quite realistic. Ryan though may be racing to a decision he might regret. What if Deanna is only on a first fling? What if it is only short-term? How can we find a happy ending tho for Ryan & Deanna? Sure, Crystal is a tart & deserves to be pulled down a peg or 2, given the story appears to make clear she is acting without hubby's knowledge or approval. The boyfriend is also clearly playing behind his wife's back. What is in store for him? Not the type of story I normally like to fantasize and write about (I am more into straight husband-approved hot wives), but very well done. Much better, much deeper, than the usual neanderthal he-man can't handle wifey playing stories we cop here. Congrats. Ken

JounarJounarover 10 years ago
to stubborn!

First fling or tenth fling, it doesn't matter, its still fucking cheating on your spouse. Ryan's happy ending is a divorce and moving on with his life without a cheating wife in it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
For me the marriage would be over, she has no real love left for her husband.

He has lots of options, the first is to get this shit out in the open, then just to take care of himself for a change, when he gets involved with someone else will see if her bullshit sinks or floats. Their really are a lot of gay guys on here, yikes!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Mixed reviews

The story hits some of the right keys and misses a lot of others.

1) I found the protagonist to be a bit too preachy in his encounter with Crystal. he has the upperhand in this instance and should be using it instead of ranting.

2) I liked the hacker portrayal, it's true that most coders, hackers and crackers are lazy and spend a lot of their time networking and trading info. I'm glad that jezzaz is putting a more human face on this group of people.

3) Author uses too many cliches and doesn't keep on track with the story.

I'm interested in seeing the outcome, will keep reading...

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Looking forward to more installments

Tremendous plot development and very creative twist on discovery method. Looking forward to more installments. Thank you.

“She douches afterward -- you've never gotten sloppy seconds from her.”

At some point he has to tell her that he loves her & the kids more than life itself but they can never have sex again. If he hasn’t already received VD or worse yet aids, he will never take the chance that she won’t pass it to him in the future! He should remind her he’s got kids to think about.

SparksWillFlySparksWillFlyover 10 years ago
Interesting Yet Troubling

I used to live in Crystal Lake and work in Schaumburg, Extra interest as he drives around old haunts. You keep the story flowing nicely, but I'm afraid of where it's headed. Is our man becoming accepting of wife's cheating, working on rationalizing that acceptance? I hope not. I'll be reading it anyway.

fanfarefanfareover 10 years ago
anononny delusions

Reading the commentary, it is interesting to note that those who are failures in their own lives. Incompetent to hold onto the women, who had the bitter misfortune to be associated with these losers. Are the ones who throw the noisiest tantrums demanding that the authors write BTB fairytales that never reflect real life.

Terrific developments in your storyline Jezz. I look forward to the next chapter.

kakashi524kakashi524over 10 years ago
All already said

There is nothing I can say that hasn't been said already.

5 stars.- Excellent story.

spankingfunforspankingfunforover 10 years ago
Crystal is done cheating - for now, anyway

Crystal is a cheating slut and embezzler! Deanna's husband gives her the only chance to set things right with her husband? He wimped out so far. Deanna's end and divorce to come in the next update I hope! Lawler's wife in another city finds out too - and soon! Charlie(crystal's husband) deserves his pound of crystal's flesh!

jezzazjezzazover 10 years agoAuthor
By the way..

... the model for Charlie Riggs is actually Mancow Muller. :)

Just thought I'd point that out.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
You do know this is an erotic story site, don't you?

Like most of the BTB and semi-BTB writers on this site, you seem to have a flair for writing. However, and this is a big HOWEVER, the site is called LITEROTICA. Please use your skills in another place. I'm tired of wasting my time reading stories like this when I'm trying to read something hot. Jesus. After your extensive diatribe against cheating (again, a very good diatribe but hardly sexy), I can't even fucking fantasize ... I'm too busy weighing the moral conflict. This site is for EROTIC STORIES. There are plenty of places you can use as an outlet for your creativity. Leave Literotica for erotic stories. Thanks!

DunaDunaover 10 years ago
Simple

@Anon Do not read us, if you wants to masturbate on creampiea eating cuckold stories.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
4*s

You did more surgery on this chapter . Notice it's flow is faster. The emotions are

racing through protagonist and reader!

I felt something more because I am so familiar with the streets and towns .

Your strongest writing has been the middle chapters of your previous stories. Ditto

here . Waiting for the next one is

AMerryMan

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
1/2/14 Anon

Maybe that's why they have story classifications here. Some of us like to read stories that have a plot somewhat beyond 'he met her, he fucked her, he told all his friends what a wonderful lay she was'. If 'find em, feel em, fuck em, forget em' stories are your forte, try a category that will provide that for you.

C_frommnC_frommnover 10 years ago
Nice

Like the story and the Characters. it sounds very real and very Plausible. will be waiting for Chapter 3.

john1946john1946over 10 years ago
OK

o far so good.....Lets have a great finish.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
these tragic stories need to have dark, tragic comedic touches, like here

burst out laughing out loud a few times, like the main character ---- in his surreal discussions with Crystal and her own cheating and how she tries to justify it while, at the same time, trying to make him look like HE's at fault, for his own wife fucking some dude during her night-out-with-the-girls...

it must be difficult for any spouse, to be reflecting on his/her up-to-now-thought-goo-marriage collapsing in slow-motion all around him/her, with 3 young kids...

bruce22bruce22over 10 years ago
Loved it

The truth is that the old problem is here. A couple ought to talk things out.

He does a good job with other people. Why doesn't he sit down and ask her if she knows any good reasons why he should not divorce her, and of course the other big one, What would be her reaction if he was having an affair with Adrianna?

RePhilRePhilover 10 years ago
Wonderful writing

Nice pace to the story and the characters believable. Enjoying your story and hoping you release the subsequent chapters in a timely fashion. Happy New Year

CharlieB4CharlieB4over 10 years ago
Great follow up.

Liking the chase! You write very convincing dialogue but I lost a bit of interest during the long conversation to finish.4*

chytownchytownover 10 years ago
Good Read****

Thanks for sharing.

norcal62norcal62over 10 years ago
A real series of sermons here.

Hubby is created full of arrogance and some cluelessness. By design?

FD45FD45over 10 years ago
Pithier

You still tend to use a whole paragraph to say the exact same thing in different ways, but that is what a paragraph is for.

This actually had a sense of plot movement, unlike page one of chapter one, which was like wading through suet.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
I agree with FD45's comment, below

The first chapter was essentially incomprehensible, due to the writing style. But this chapter was excellent. Guess you just have trouble getting started.

carvohicarvohiover 10 years ago
Criminy!

Look at all the great comments! This story is riveting!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
rates up herefore to

the typical worst of worst jezzass tales of crap

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Some critics:

It would have been more believable if the husband won the lottery to pay for an army of private investigators than for him to have access to a super genius hacker Solomon for the price of a game console with some games. Serious how many husbands facing divorce are this lucky.

So the husband has managed to get more information about the wife’s cheating, but that information has gained him nothing more than what he already knows, which is the fact that she cheated, and he knew this back in chapter one. What is the point of chapter 2 besides being more verbose?

The way the husband lets Crystal off the hook is disappointing, but it must also be the way he lets his wife off the hook too because he has set a precedent. All that Deanna has to do to save her marriage is to do what the husband demands what Crystal does for her husband Charlie. I hope that the author sees this.

Tim413413Tim413413almost 10 years ago
Absolutely enjoyable!

How do they go to Wed. night home games when our hero is not out of town? Sure, we can quibble over small things, but the story is flowing nicely and it is entertaining.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Absolute mindless garbage !!

With no redeeming feature or writing talent. So, 1* !

beautyfishbeautyfishover 9 years ago
Really enjoyable

Aside from the occasional grammatical error (your instead of you're, etc.), this is a great read. I never understand the vitriolic comments from Anon types. The dialog is catchy, the characters are interesting, and the story moves forward in an unpredictable direction. Nice job.

starmanfivestarmanfiveover 9 years ago
This chapter is

perhaps the greatest reasoning and explanation of the wrongness of cheating. The arguments with Crystal about her hurting Charlie are very insightful! So many stories ask 'Does it hurt your partner if they don't know?' Well they will find out and it hurts immensely.

SimplyMikeSimplyMikeover 9 years ago
Well done jezzaz.....

This chapter just about shoots down ANY stupid excuses or rationalisations that ANY cheater propounds as VALID reasons to cheat..... Ryan's rants and clear, logical explanations as to the total bullshit and a self serving nature of ALL her excuses and surgically excises the truth from the utter 'bollocks' she is talking and demonstrates that is just that... 'BOLLOCKS'!... What?

markranemarkraneover 9 years ago
Excellent!

Well reasoned and great writing. I really like the ALL of the rebuttal to The Cheater. It's not often I really, REALLY learn something from a story on Lit but Jezz has done it in two stories so far.

I'm lovin' it. Hope the wheels stay on for the next three chapters...

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Last ever

My first comment on literotica.

Your story was/ is absolutely incredible. The writing style, above all else, is exceptional. Humour well used. I am usually a sucker for 2 line back and forth dialogue but even the long monologues here were prefect. Solomon "You want me to... I Get it" is a GOAT quote tbh Pacing is incredible. Flashbacks are awesome. Mundane details are probably my most favourite part... "picked up my phone and looked up taxicab number" ROFL!! priceless.

Now the characters... wow. SO. MUCH. DEPTH. Who knew that the rant on cheating would be so well thought out, funny and impactful? And all these people have faults, and doubts, and strengths and deserve some compassion. Its truly truly truly beautiful what you write here.

I wrote this comment because i have been watching (and reading and listening) to porn for over 7 years now and today is my last day of it. New year, new things. I have spent the last couple of months looking for the "perfect last gif, perfect last pic, perfect last wank, perfect last scene, perfect last model" and they have been many. Yours, is a perfect last story. 6 stars ******

(Its an absolute shame i will never read your stories after this :( )

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Perfect

Congrats. Perfect. Five out of five. A few minor mistakes like a word missing. But this is one of my favourite stories.

sbrooks103sbrooks103almost 9 years ago
Thoughts

Editing:

“It because very obvious” – It BECAME very obvious

“I have a little something for you!" – Probably a cream pie!

Why do these cheating wives always say that it has nothing to do with their husbands, that they still “love” them? Would ANY of them accept that statement if they found their husbands cheating? Or would they cut their balls off? Hmm, tough one, right?

She loves Ryan, but she’s in “the early stages of love” with the MARRIED asshole?

And again with It’s. Just. Sex. Excuse, and not to repeat myself, but would Deanne accept that excuse from Ryan? And comparing extra-marital sex with tennis?! Is she for real?

“You let her have this, and it gives you leverage and the ability to go out and do it yourself, and she can't say shit. Isn't that every guys dream?" – For the third time, YES, she WOULD still say shit! If SHE cheats, “it’s just sex”, if HE cheats, he’s a heartless bastard who she’s going to rape in the divorce!

Crystal talks about HIS appearance, so that means that every husband whose wife, in the phrase that all women deride as sexist, has “let herself go”, has a license to cheat, right?

LOL, after I wrote some of that Ryan said similar things!

sbrooks103sbrooks103almost 9 years ago
Solomon

He should use Solomon to ruin both of the sleazeballs who are messing around with married women!

Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333almost 9 years ago
Second time through...

this is fast paced and yet very thorough and descriptive. Five stars.

rightbankrightbankalmost 9 years ago
he is still yo yoing?

why?

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xalmost 8 years ago
Backstory

I've been reviewing comments deciding if I want to read "Cheaters' Coven", and had another thought about one of my comments:

“You let her have this, and it gives you leverage and the ability to go out and do it yourself, and she can't say shit." - Besides the fact as I said earlier, that she WOULD still say shit, there is also the minor little point that maybe he doesn't WANT to go out and do it himself!

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
bastards

This asshol make another man cockold by not telling his friend his wife is a whore

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Ummm

Yeah, Ryan should really tell Charlie. Hopefully he does that at some point.

I really loved his discussion with Crystal. He really dashed all of her rationalization. And that's all it is, rationalization for doing something the cheater know is wrong. The part where Crystal says Deanna loves him is especially BS. You don't cheat, lie, manipulate, and deceive those you claim to love. Ryan states it perfectly, he should have been the priority. She is just a selfish whore, just like Crystal.

Ryan needs to dump his wife for sure. I really hope there isn't an RAAC or an attempt at making her the victim and him the bad guy. And he better do everything he can to get custody of the kids. No father in his right mind would want his kids to be raised by someone who has no morals.

Crystal deserves to be burned. Like nuclear inferno burned. And Deanna deserves worse.C7A

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Absolutely correct

Ryan is unequivocally absolutely correct in his entire rant. All of the excuses that and rationalization that Crystal tried to use are BS.

Crystal claims Deanna loves him. Crystal obviously has no clue what love is. She is able to make that claim because Deanna is doing the same thing.

Compartmentalization? Another BS excuse. Deanna has such blatant disrespect for her husband that. She doesn't care if she is on TV. So Ryan hasn't lost anything?

The nasty part is the cheater knows it's wrong. That's why they try to keep it a secret. They know they are in the wrong and do it anyway. Deliberately. And in this case over and over.

And Deanna is hurting her kids too. Deliberately. She is destroying the family all because of her selfishness.

Anyone that is contemplating cheating needs to understand all of what you are going to do and how pathetic the excuses and rationalizations are.

And those that think he needs to forgive and reconcile after this? Again BS. The trust is gone forever. As Ryan said there is no fine print. Imagine knowing your child has been raped by someone you know. Maybe you can forgive that person. Eventually. But will you ever allow that to be alone with your child ever again? I don't think so. Deliberate cheaters do not deserve reconciliation. Forgiveness, maybe, but if you think reconciliation is needed then you better accept being cheated on over and over. Your spouse already broke one of the biggest promises they can make, so you better believe they will do it again.

I also agree with the last anonymous comment.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Ryan has anger issues

No wonder his wife is cheating on him. Hope she dumps him.

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