All Comments on 'Living with Katrina Ch. 09'

Your cliffhangers are like the crappy endings to a good show... "coming next week!" it's so frustrating, but it's a great story. Hopefully chapter 10 comes more quickly than 9, although I understand that life gets in the way.

Great writing. Great story line. Keep 'em coming......

I like the story of this chapter, but it runs too fast. I get that you're not writing a novel here, but it seems incredulous that years of sibling dysfunction suddenly culminates and resolves like that in front of us. I get what you're trying to do with Jake and Katrina's relationship, but a character like Brittany can't just breeze in like this so suddenly without it appearing hollow. The thread deserves more build-up. Still, I really enjoyed reading this chapter.

I would have to agree that is did move along rapidly, but I get the impression that things definitely aren't resolved yet. Hearing about Jakes baggage helps to explain his character and the struggles he has. Yet again we are left hanging on the edge for more with no clear grasp of how this will end.

that exchange about the parents dying was so intense...

Very good. You found that little thing that makes every character come totally alive. Their past. By adding that little part now Jake is someone too real to simply over look next to wild Katrina. Very very good job.

You over sold his sister- just a bit- with the chess. It came off as if she were bragging to Jake and he would know she can do that sort of thing. He would be less than impressed i would think. Also there is this, while she can remember everything, as an accountant his mind has to function similarly but with numbers. It's not a trick when you know how the trick is done.

That being said I loved this one. The fact that the sex scene was done off stage was a good touch. The story didn't need the interruption. Nice ending as well.

I love reading your stories, I pick up story ideas just from your sentences, the way you phrase things.

Awaiting with bated breath the next.

M.S.Tarot

something just seemed to be missing.

Can I get her number please?