All Comments on 'Lost Empire Ch. 01'

Very well thought out, written, and presented.

This is a very good beginning. This could be a good main stream sci-fi .

I will keep an eye here to see if you post a part2.

Until then thanks for your offerings.

A really good quality and interesting story, just a shame that E and Derrick don't get it on, but I suppose sex with a 3 mile long spaceship must be difficult.

I have read 45 chapters on an alt site... Waiting for more!!

This is a great start to a story. Thank you for sharing.

Wow!!! I just finished reading the fourth installment of this story and I can hardly wait for the next one! This is without a doubt one of the very best stories in the space opera style of the golden age of science fiction I have read. This is a must read for any die hard Sci-Fi fan.

If the rest is as creative as the introduction it's going to be very entertaining.

I'm gonna be on this story like a fly on a cow pie...Thank you!!!

2 years.

It is hard to describe how wonderful it is to start this series again!

Is this on Kindle? The app? If not then please upload it! Cus this is an amazing op sci-fi. A bit fast in the story, the action is well detailed. Can't wait for the next 70 chapters!

I suggest you skip this one.

1) 4 years and still plodding along?

2) 78 chapters? If you take out the padding and constant fawning it’s about 78 pages.

3) Comma’s: My, god man Learn, how to use them,

4) It’s a sort of compelling plot mired down by moderate writing.

5) death, wars, fear of losing the empire? Once the time machine is presented and validated such fears are nonsense. = plot gets weak. Mind you it starts out quite well!

Here, dear reader, is what happens. You get interested just enough by the plot you put up with the fawning and microscopic chapter length. Soon you’ll be engaged yet be truly annoyed at the glacial evolution of the story. As the chapters pass the fawning gets worse and the plot begins to plod. You’ll come back every few years to find a few more pages have been written and be reminded again of what amounts to a love - hate relationship.

Don’t say I warn you!

Is there any Erotica in this Literature?? Hence Literotica??!!

Yo, MarkT63. Take a chill pill, Jack. This is, hands down, the single best storyline on this whole site. It's not perfect. He really needs a better proofreader/editor, but the universe he's created is nothing short of amazing. There are several non-erotic stories on this site, so don't get all balled up. I mean, really.

Interesting story. Looking forward to more.

As for some of these comments, how about being a little more constructive with your criticism. On this site I have found stories with a little erotica and erotica with a little story. Frankly I prefer a solid story to nonstop sex. Note, it is in the Non-erotic category.

In every long story I have read on this site, the writing gets better with each chapter. I am sure this story will be no different.

Thank you for your writing Pars001. I am enjoying it so far and appreciate all the effort you have put into it.

Huge, *huge!* plot hole. In the beginning you said the last ship, E (Shelby?), had destroyed 200 other ships in a final battle all by herself. Yet, at the end of the chapter she fights a species who apparently haven't advanced very much in 1000 odd years tech-wise, and she takes some major damage. 38% of her weapons destroyed? And some other damage. "Though the fleet slowly died, the greatest of them was never defeated nor was she ever badly injured." Might want to change this.

>This is, hands down, the single best storyline on this whole site

...Yikes. I grant you that the author is prolific, but they either ignore their editor or can't keep one around for more than a month. There are a few interesting ideas here, but the story is so rough as to bury them.