All Comments on 'Lost Empire Ch. 32'

The previous chapters were in Non- erotic

This story makes sense to be in

Sci-fi ; however, It may make

It difficult to follow if it jumps around

Still it is a well written and very intriguing

Tale

Disjointed thoughts (result of author trying to write too many separate Literotica stories?)

Run on / partial / poorly formatted sentences

Short chapters (sacrificing quality to try to deliver daily)

Jumps from one scene to another without fully fleshing out the first

Thoughts in the authors head re: story appear to periodically miss being included in storytelling, forcing reader to fill a gap.

AI cries in every story, bring SO overwhelmed that Derrick cares for them)

Derrick is the smartest guy in the room every time

The assassin Is a caricature (as are most characters)

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This story had a great premise - a lone guy discovers and starts bring back to life AI warships, takes his place as leader and beats the bad guys. It went downhill fast. I feel like I have too much time invested and keep reading hoping that quality will improve, but am not seeing it.

Keep going I am really hooked if this was a movie it would not be able to get any better but it's just as good like this

Your POVs are a great technique to cover off specific information or leave hooks for the reader. They should add interest as you flit between them.

However some of yours are confusing as to their purpose/intent. They all need to be a short chapter with closure in of themselves. Yours do not always do that. Not for me anyway.

Grammatical errors are a distraction as is poor sentence construction.

You write pretty well and have a pood premise for this story. Take more time between releases and polish your work.

I agree with some of the points made about what seems to be a rushed attempt at writing a genuinely good story. The sentence structures (comma placement) and grammatical mistakes are very distracting and why I cannot give five stars. That being said, the demands being put forth by some of the Anons really piss me off at times. At some level, they must understand that they are getting these stories, representing a major effort of work by the author for free right? Please keep up the creative and entertaining work and thanks for your considerable efforts.

Thank you for finally filling in some of Trianas' background. Now I know why she's such a cunt.