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"Yes I see, this is what we have been needing for a very long time!" Derrick shouted excited. "Well Mary? Do you foresee any problems?" Derrick asked.
"I am running a full analysis on it now Sire I should have an answer within moments." A moment later Mary reappeared, "no sire, I am not seeing any problems that this could cause. I have to say they have taken much into consideration when they built this. I will have to be there in the link, I am afraid, sire. Even with the commands you have given me, this, I will have to personally be there for."
Derrick sighed there was nothing like an adult babysitter when you are an adult yourself. Shaking his head he guessed it was for the best after all. "Alright. When can..."
There was a shimmering next to him and the download device along with the program was there next to him. Derrick looked up as Shelby took the data disc and placed it into a receptacle. "I should be ready within minutes Derrick." Shelby advised him. A few minutes later Shelby called and told him she was ready.
"Alright, I have all of you Shelby, I have all of Zan and all of Tempro. Contact Thomas, Shelby," Derrick told her.
"Yes Sire," Thomas said a moment later.
"I am going to access Conner's library. Conner I chose you because like Shelby you were one of the first ships regened." Derrick told the ship.
"Sire! I take it as a great honor that you have chosen me thank you sir!" Conner replied happily.
Derrick nodded to Shelby and Mary as he donned the headset.
Derrick was floating, 'Nice, ' he thought, 'an actual transfer field to put one at ease.' Suddenly he was in an empty room with a young teen male with light brown hair standing about 5' 5''. "Ah! there you are Conner! So when does this download start?" Derrick asked
"Ugh sire? It started the moment you entered my library. You have already gained half and are still going. I hazard to say you should be done within minutes!" A shocked Conner said.
A few minutes later the room became empty, what in the hell was going on? Derrick thought as another young blonde man about 6' appeared beside him. "Hello sire I didn't expect you to be here this soon."
Derrick did a double take a moment and asked, "Ace? Is that you?"
"Yes Sire, It appears that you are still nowhere near capacity yet. Yours is an incredible mind!" Ace replied.
Derrick could only nod, incredible or not he just hoped that Mary was keeping tabs on him. Wouldn't do to get lost and not be able to return.
- COMMENTS
Fixitman8267over 3 years agoThank you for finally filling in some of Trianas' background. Now I know why she's such a cunt.
Domdomainabout 6 years agoI agree with some of the points made about what seems to be a rushed attempt at writing a genuinely good story. The sentence structures (comma placement) and grammatical mistakes are very distracting and why I cannot give five stars. That being said, the demands being put forth by some of the Anons really piss me off at times. At some level, they must understand that they are getting these stories, representing a major effort of work by the author for free right? Please keep up the creative and entertaining work and thanks for your considerable efforts.
Anonymousalmost 7 years agoYour POVs are a great technique to cover off specific information or leave hooks for the reader. They should add interest as you flit between them.
However some of yours are confusing as to their purpose/intent. They all need to be a short chapter with closure in of themselves. Yours do not always do that. Not for me anyway.
Grammatical errors are a distraction as is poor sentence construction.
You write pretty well and have a pood premise for this story. Take more time between releases and polish your work.
Anonymousalmost 7 years agoKeep going I am really hooked if this was a movie it would not be able to get any better but it's just as good like this
Anonymousalmost 7 years agoDisjointed thoughts (result of author trying to write too many separate Literotica stories?)
Run on / partial / poorly formatted sentences
Short chapters (sacrificing quality to try to deliver daily)
Jumps from one scene to another without fully fleshing out the first
Thoughts in the authors head re: story appear to periodically miss being included in storytelling, forcing reader to fill a gap.
AI cries in every story, bring SO overwhelmed that Derrick cares for them)
Derrick is the smartest guy in the room every time
The assassin Is a caricature (as are most characters)
.
This story had a great premise - a lone guy discovers and starts bring back to life AI warships, takes his place as leader and beats the bad guys. It went downhill fast. I feel like I have too much time invested and keep reading hoping that quality will improve, but am not seeing it.
