All Comments on 'Lost In The Woods'

I will comment, however, that I think Kim could of been written a little smarter. She was a teacher, after all. I also think you could of gone a little farther with the Dom/sub thing. I liked all the camping and first aid details. Also might of been good to show some of the bad guys "smooth talking" that conned the girls in the first place. He came off as a pathetic slob so it was hard to juxtapose the two. Overall, really great story! Looking forward to your next!

It needs a bit of editing. The most obvious issue is that you swapped the girl's name at least twice.

I REALLY enjoyed this story. And then when I clicked on the author name to see if I'd like his other stories I discovered he wrote two if my favorite stories on Lit, The Salmon and The Inheritance.

So happy to see more from this author. Please keep writing!

It's a great story!

But, I wonder if I'm the only one who thought about Kim being used for so long and passing some wicked disease to Seth?

Knowing the sad sexual history of kim , he still had unprotected sex before having a comprehensive test for std.s

... did you keep swapping from 'Bernice' to 'Beatrice' and back again??

I try very hard to make the names consistent when I edit a story. I must have missed the Beatrice - Bernice switch. I apologize. I'll try to clean it up and resubmit the story. Thanks for reading

The story wasn't bad, but the author told it so many times I was ready to scream. First the Seth voice ("I") told what happened. Then Kim repeated it back to Seth. Then Kim told Bernice. Then Kim told the Ranger. Then the whole damned thing got told to the Judge at court. This could easily have been a 4 page story rather than an 11 page exercise in tedium. I skimmed after a while...and it really wasn't good enough to spend any real time on. I started thinking 4*, dropped to 3* and then got generous and rated up to 2* rather than the 1* it deserved. Tstorm: delete

I enjoyed the read. I am amused by some of the comments. STD or pregnancy etc. are not an issue in a story with fictitious characters.

Keep writing, you'll continue to improve.

I finally dumped it with the dom/sub shit. it's a turn off for me just like shaved pussies, 46 inch dicks, and GG tits...just me

I really do NOT like doom/sub stories and I usually only last 3 minutes before looking for something else. I'm also not a fan of girl-girl action, so I skipped that part. But this story was captivating because of the suspense of the idiots coming back to hurt them.

Please keep writing; I really enjoyed all of your stories. I especially enjoyed this one and the inheritance. Need to read more so keep them coming.

Although I see that the author is specialized in the subject of Master and Submissive (as I said before, it is not my preference), this has been a nice love story, with intrigue and drama. I really liked it, despite not sharing some tastes with the author, I recognize his value as an erotic romance writer.

5* for you.

I apologize for my English, is not my native language.

I liked the story overall.But Kim was forced into prostitution.When she seduced sex wouldn't be Seth concerned about getting STD from her? I am not fond of Master Slave relationship but i can let go li'l in this story as it was meant to be concerned with Romance.

Another part would be nice about Kim getting pregnant and them being parents. And about Bernie & Kent getting married.Maybe Even Jill & Meg getting engaged/married as Gay marriages are allowed nowadays.

Even maybe another part where Seth & Kim became very good friends with Bernie & Ranger Kent and their children grow up together and fall in love with each other and get married 'eh?

What ya say? Just my thought. A li'l hopeless Romantic person.

Thankyou Enjoyes reading this story .

Regards: pcthrone

I love the master slave relationship in this particular story.

You really should write more with similar characters.

Author is obsessed with submissiveness.

Had sex with her with no thought of veneral disease.

Good story, liked the plot. Should have been something more on the conspiracy theory involving the DA office and the fast release on bail. Given the charges, should have taken longer to process. Seems something fishy was going on there, but the matter received only a brief reference later.

chapter 9 for the most part is completely un-needed

I agree with many of the previous comments that with some proper editing, the story could be a LOT shorter, cutting out the repetitions in particular. The Megan & Jill relationship wasn't developed enough to suddenly appear near the end as another sub/dom couple and overall, the ending seemed rushed and without conclusions if that was totally 'the end' (e.g. did they find a leak in the DA's office? Did Bernice manage to seduce Ranger Stephens?)

It's shame as it was.a really good story and very different to most on literotica (a good thing!) and the characters were strong and well developed. Top marks for effort and four stars overall from me.

I liked it very much. Having read the comments... "not worried about VD" clue: it is a story, anything works in fiction. "more about plot in DA's office" I would like this also, maybe a followup story? It was too great line to be just dropped. Maybe the DA was a "silent partner" in the prostitution ring?

Going to read more of your work (read and liked the Salmon as well).

Please keep writing.

TstormF1

I just finished reading all of your stories and liked them a lot. I hope you’ll continue to contribute.

Thank you, 5-Stars for all.

The story line is first class and the story-telling is great, regardless of what other people think.

When I found this story a couple days ago, I didn't recognize it as one I had read, until Seth drags Kim to the campsite... then I remembered parts of it. I continued reading it because I remembered some of the suspense created by the pursuit Roger and Lenny did... and the way Kim killed Lenny. Lots of details escaped me, so I wanted to re-read the story.

You could have left all the dom/sub and girl-girl stuff out... that does zero for me. Actually, it detracts from the characters, in my opinion.

I really would like to see you continue the story lines. 1) what about the conspiracy theory? Is there someone in the DA's office or the judge himself "in" on Roger's business? What's his/her role in law enforcement? How do they fit in with Roger?

2) How do Bernice and the ranger proceed? A peek into their bedroom might prove interesting...

3) How do Seth and Kim do back at his home town with job, family, friends, etc? Do they find another "adventure" to get into? Does someone who likes Roger and Lenny come after them "back home"?

Keep writing... we like it! FIVE STARS!!

Really enjoyed the story and its characters. Intend to read more by this writer as this was my first. Am sure will enjoy also.

Held my interest all the way, well written

Damn fine story!! Keep on doing what you do!!!

These are both supposedly university graduates who speak English as if they never advanced beyond the 6th grade, or is it 6th year. Reader scores must have been fudged. If she hadn’t continually retold her story, a least half a dozen pages could have been saved, to say nothing of reader time and fatigue.

I find your comments totally out of line , I tried to leave you a PRIVATE message but aparently ( I know spelled wrong, so sue me) your profile page will NOT take messages. AFRAID of some real feed back? You've also not published a thing, can criticize but not wright? How lame. I know this applies to some not all, but the old saw (saying for those morons who don't understand) those who do, can, those who can, teach!

I'm amused by some of the other comments/commentators. I'm not into Dom/Sub and I'm not into girl/girl stuff, either, but this story is one that I can't put down while reading it... and it's long. And I can overlook some inconsistency in a good story, if the plot and characters are interesting and compelling, which is true with Seth and Kim, as well as the supporting characters. The thing most have not said is that, without the sex, this story could hold it's own in a normal fiction setting. You DID develop the characters and story line very well. I gave it 5 stars, but I might have given it more, if the system would let me. A couple interesting possibilities for sequels... Roger Maynard and his "enterprises", including what other people do to his kind in prison (now he's the bitch!)... The legal community in whatever you called that little town, including who is fucking who (did they find out how Roger and Lenny got out so quickly?)

Keep writing... it's good stuff!

I really enjoyed the story! There were quite a few spelling errors and you mixed first and third person view at times so getting an editor might be a good idea. The story was otherwise well thought out and it was a good mix between sex and suspense. I would've liked to see the story arc with the corrupt police or jailor wrapped up in some way (maybe Kim recognizes someone as one of her Johns?). That's just some constructive criticism, not meant to bash your work. Please keep it up, I look forward to reading more from you!

submissive scenes are almost perfectly copied from "the inheritance", enjoy a good sub/dom story but be creative you can't be perfectly copying it. A lot of people are already very touchy and new to this topic in IRL and reading. So bringing something like this into a Story, you should def ease them into it. Which you again didn't do. She asked him; "if you have questions about sub/dom relationship ask."

there was none, just him being "perfect" (once again Hero/Protagonist being perfect in every way) & her repetitive answer "he protects me, rescued me...blablabla.

in general, I enjoyed the story but I feel like from "the inheritance" you published in 2013? and this one in 2016 you didn't improve or change in ur writing at all. Though this one has more "romance" in it, a topic I was criticizing about before. (being in romance Category and lack of romance)

again I liked the scene u set, general story and outcome, just some ...I guess u can call it logical mistakes? in the story, I didn't like.

The height of it all is how obsessed every single character in the story is with praising the protagonist for his boy scouting skills. It shows a petty childish mismatch between the author's own appreciation for skill and his need for explicit external validation. Make the same comments with a bit more subtlety, and it would be all fine, vut when every ego-boosting comment has to be so harshly on the nose, it just becomes tedious.

But the damsel in distress story is fun, as are the scenes where they flirt while sharing their camp. =)

I found this story well written and entertaining to read. The story flowed well and kept me engaged to the end. Well Done, 5 stars

I think I have read this story 3-4 times. In fact, I went searching for it, but had some difficulty finding it back. It is one of my favorite stories on this site. I'm not into girl-girl or rough stuff, but this story sticks with me, mostly because it's a survival story, with romance and sex. There are a couple times when the character names are incorrect, but it's an excellent read otherwise!

Great story, 5/5

Absolutely great loved it. This is 2nd time.

great story 5

What can you say ... camping is one of the great American past-times. Sex in a tent isn't bad either.

I SURE AM GLAD THEY DECIDED TO MAKE A BABY! I thoroughly enjoyed this story...CINCO ESTRELLAS!

Well done TstormF1,

Nicely written, a nice entertaining story. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Just one point though with Kim being a sex slave and being sold as a whore for nine months being used by many many men there is no chance she didn't contract a sexually transmitted disease. Either vaginally, anally even orally STD's are very nasty. I was a Biker for some 26 years and I knew another Biker who had sores on and his mouth. Syphilis I think. I also knew many working girls who were very nice girls and told me horror stories. Scary.

Cheers!

Kim: "I told him over and over to stop but he wouldn't until he stabbed me in the thigh!"

Prosecutor: "Surely you could've given him one more chance?"

Kim" "Certainly not! And don't call me Shirley." Never did learn who leaked in the DA's office. Probably one of Roger's sex customers... 5 stars.

Anon56

That had more plot holes than a colander. It was either the dumbest thing I have read or the damn funniest.

What a boy scout camping trip!

(More than an Eagle scout, eh?

What Merit Badge is that?)

Great story, but why the lesbian sex scene??? This is a romance story, not gay male, not lesbian, not trans, not incest, not horror! Stick with the topic!

You're a talented story teller, but sadly I will pass on the rest of your stories since you don't keep to the category. There are other good stories out there that don't insist that I read a story I don't choose to read.

Nice story. You are a good writer. But there are descriptions that are repetitive. Every time Kim talks about the incidents with Seth she repeats them ad nauseum. Without these repetitions you'll be a great writer.

Well written. The only thing I would like to have known was finding out how they got bail so quickly and who was paid off in the DA’s office! LM