by AnnasFriend
I liked this story. It was well written, had lots of emotional depth and built slowly to the sex. And the sex, when it did come, almost came too quickly given the careful development that had come before it. I would not have minded another page of developing their relationship first. Plus there are some lovely touches in this story, like teaching history as if you were telling a story which is just so true but so often not done, that gave it authenticity. Very different from some of your other works, like Student Support, but it's good to try new forms and this one worked for me.
Thankyou for a well tempered moving,in many ways , story. A delight to read.
damnation and hell fire!
a love story on several levels that has portrayed an absolute beauty of each.
thanks for sharing.
I am appalled that it only rates 4.7 at the moment. Maybe it is too literate for literotica 🙂!
Delightful story - it got better as it developed. An most enjoyable read.
Was it intentional, or did I misread the first page and a bit, that the main character was female living with her ill male partner/friend. Then revealed as a straight bloke with gay brother.
This story was engaging to a point where the erotic elements were not even "required". Definitely a winner!!
I wasn't expecting this story, I wasn't expecting the emotional depth of a four page text to be as deep as it was. I came here for smut, and found myself emotional invested in all of the characters - bravo. I have no idea who the author is in real life, but they have a skill set and a talent for writing that deserves to be shared far and wide. Perhaps because it's 4am and I have had a bad day, but I genuinely had a small tear in both eyes reading this - I'd blame the lockdown but I think it's more a comment on the quality of the writing and the story. Kudos.
Excellent writing on every level, even crafty in revealing the relationship between the two brothers, and a beautiful development of the love story. Lovely too to read about three characters all of whom one would like to get to know much better. I was going to say "in real life" which actually reveals how well they came alive.
I am a 6 foot 1 tall ex soldier of 20 years and you made my eyes water a touch . Beautiful story well written .
Bravo .
Gaffer
A great story about love, and not just sexual or romantic love. Supporting and helping some-one who is dying is a profound form of love, and though sad, it can be very beautiful. That is well shown here.
What a beautiful story with emotional depth. Everything I want to say has already been said by other. I just want to say, I had opened the story for its rating and I got more than I had hoped for. Thank you for narrating this beautiful story.
Excellent story; just the right balance of interest, pathos and sexuality.
You needn't have worried about the 'long wait'. I enjoyed your writing all through, and these lit stories work so much better when the sex is only part of the story. Thanks for lesson!
I was not far into the story when I realized this is a quality of writing a cut above even many of the better-written stories on Literotica.
An example.
I find Literotica stories that begin something like,
"I suppose I should begin by introducing myself...,"
and then follows a description of appearance: name, height, weight, hair color, education, how he keeps in shape, blah, blah, blah.
Better writers work this description in -- but only as much as is really needed -- as the story goes forward.
AnnasFriend advanced beyond this so much that I thought the protagonist/narrator was a woman. I was well into the story before I realized that "she" is a he.
Clever.
Still later, his name is "Mikey" (to his brother).
Near the end, it comes out that his actual name is Michael.
This is masterful, progressive story telling, not so often found on Literotica.
No comments from the "grammar Nazis," because the flawless use of language means nothing to criticize.
This story makes you want to try another AnnasFriend tale.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Paul in Oklahoma
Such a fine surprise—a writer with strong command of the language, an interesting story, well developed characters who have some depth, seem real, genuine, and likeable.
Thanks.
Beautiful story. One of the half dozen or so best I’ve seen on Lit. Any chance that we might see more of these two?
Absolutely just amazing... I cried, obviously but fell tits over cock, in love with all your characters. Fuck, just so engaged and blown, completely, away! Jeeper3
You're a very good writer. Really wonderful story. Thanks for the submission
One of the loveliest stories I've ever read - any where. There really needs to be a Chapter 2.
This is the third of your stories I've read now. I started with the Halloween story, and loved that so much that I read two more. But this is so beautiful! As others have said in their own way, "You had me at decent grammar and punctuation!" I was drawn to the title because I am a woman of a certain age, and even though the characters were much younger, I still enjoyed it immensely. My only unfulfilled dream is that I would have loved for him to have taken her to see a Shakespeare play, as that is really the way they are meant to be experienced. But, they have plenty of time on their travels. Well done!
Lovely story, characters, dialogue, plot, needs more sex and more length.
I admit that "need" is too strong of a word. I want more of both, and, yet, the story does not lack.
Five for you.
It's almost getting samey repeating my comments about your writing, but bugger me you can write sir! Lovely story, brilliantly written. Superb character development coupled with an engaging storyline. How do you manage all that in 4 pages? Talent. And that's where we diverge. Easily 5 stars.
simply phenomenal. what a wonderful read. I know that this site is meant for erotica, however this story was so good that it didn't NEED the sex at all, but of course I'm glad it did have it at the end. So wonderfully written. definitely 5 from me.
A great story. Well written and with characters you wanted to engage in. Five stars and will now look at what else you have.
This was a wonderful story, I felt tears welling up when David passed. That connection is why you should consider yourself at the top of your game. Warm, personal, insightful, clever, compelling; all of these words are accurate and well deserved. I look forward to reading more of your art.
So deeply touching, with life and death juxtaposed so powerfully. I love the way there was some ambiguity about gender and sexual preferences. And like you said, when the sex happens it is worth the wait, and like in real life there is a sense of wanting more....
A wonderful stew of beautiful writing, great chatacters, serious subject matter, emotional twists, and a happy ending or two! Someday I hope to write a story as good. Thank you!
Gosh, that was a damned good story. Short enough to be an incredible movie in the right hands. IF they did not change the characters and the words. Actually written as if it would be a screenplay for a movie. Loved it!!! Thank you...
A lot of story packed into 4 pages. Extremely well done and very impressive!
WOW !!
I'm not inclined to give 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 stars often, but this is deserving.
Characters well developed & had enough quirks to make them real.
Couldn't stop for a moment till it was finished.
thank you AnnasFriend
Very well written.
Not just the basics: grammar and spelling.
Also, character development, engaging dialogue, and a good story arc.
I'd be interested, if this were filled out to read it as a short story, and continue to read that story on their adventures while travelling.
Why- because you have me, I've bought into those characters.
Well written, strong character development, good story. Easily 5 stars.
Wonder heartfelt story. The building up the the lovemaking kept me entranced. And yes, wanting more.
Terrific story, very well written. I can easily imagine it as a Notting Hill type film. See if you can get someone to take up the rights. Settle for a cut of the profits.
This is far too well-written and touching to be here. A beautiful story. Thank you
Splendid prose! Mature, enchanting and binding. Literally got to live their lives for a while and oh boy, it was worth it.
Thank you.
One of the best pieces I've read on Lit. I not only enjoyed the story as such, but your use of English made it a pleasure to read. We'll have more of the same please!
I thought the development of the characters was stunning. I was so pleased with how you treated them as individuals yet with a sense of oneness. Thank you. I’m glad you didn’t over stress the sexual nature of the relationship. It made the ending more believable.
Beautiful story, basing it on the love of the written words, books, literature and - yes, the Harlequin genre, which for many readers is not only the entrance into reading, but often an all-consuming pattern. And the point that we all belong to the species Pan Narrans, as Pratchett wrote.
In addition, it it was a joy to read the comments: thoughtful, balanced, free from the all-too-common bitching. It is a prize/praise to you, AnnasFriend, that you gets the best from your readers.
I enjoyed your story very much. I wasn't the only one. You have some very nice comment.,and deservedly so. Of the stories I've read here, I would have liked a follow up chapter. I feel like I know where Isobel and Michael are going
This is a very good and exceptional story. Not what we used to on Literotica – so well written that you do not even miss the sex. The entire story comes to a natural boil and what makes it so great - and worth the full marks - 5-Stars - is that nowhere do you suspect that this will happen. It comes as a total and very pleasant surprise. Loved it all the way - the plot, character development - and these characters find each other in a sea of misery. She should thank her parents for going out of their way - and like ALWAYS - parents are ALWAYS right! Thanks for writing and sharing this beautiful Novel! 5-Stars!!!!!
A very nice story. I enjoyed it a great deal and will read through your other work. You covered some heavy topics without the story feeling dark and overbearing. Happy to root for the couple at the end.
Lovely story. Interesting how neither of the main characters new their true feelings or if they were reciprocated, but David saw through them. *****
Love it! It concludes with a train journey, arriving at the destination. Another Larkin reference, perhaps?
Very good, well written believable story. Great characters. I knew halfway through it would be added to my favorites, as admittedly short list. Thank you.
Wow, that was a real rollercoaster of emotions at the end.
A really beautifully written story, I was really wondering if there was going to be any erotic side to it it just didn’t look like it was gonna happen, or how it would happen. But that’s what makes a great story Keeping you thinking the whole way through after reading this I’ve come to realise this is a British writer or it certainly appears that way. If not, it was very convincing. Well done either way.
Incredibly moving. I’m going through all of your stories again, but this one is truly special. Please start posting stories again!
How could I NOT give this story five stars? It's beautifully written, has a well-developed plot, and the characters are realistic. It's the kind of story I'd like to to be three times longer. I thoroughly enjoyed it.