All Comments on 'Loving His Sister'

this one felt kinda rushed no real build up or room for things to grow

Started with an interesting story line, more detail before meeting sibling than in the part that almost contained intimacy. Instead, it just got rushed.

Indications that author could write well with some input from a teacher/editor.

Reader unwilling to give bad rating. Author did not earn good rating. Perhaps next time...

Another page or half would have done it. No build up described. Buildup in erotica is foreplay! Tease the characters and you tease the reader.

Sorry that this one didn't do it for some of you. I wish that a few of you would leave names or ways to reach you so that we could communicate.

I wrote it in my head the way I wanted it to be. If it felt rushed to you, it didn't to me. While one person felt I needed a teacher or editor, with over 1100 stories sold to date, I can assure you I know what I'm doing. I don't know if you've sampled other works of mine - perhaps give them a try? If they all feel "rushed", then it's likely a matter of my style not suiting your needs. I don't like to use editors, they have their uses, but then I have to wait for them to go through it and I found when I did use them, it took too long. I understand its a volunteer basis (I have done it myself) so one cannot make demands on a person's time.

BTW, some stories I write are written for "quickies" and just for a little bit of fun.

I can assure you that I always try to give you folks a quality effort. I can't hit a home run every time, but I do keep swinging. There are more on the way, so if you liked this one or want to see what I can do next, keep watching.

I appreciate any well-thought out commentary. Thanks for your time

~~BrettJ

I enjoy your stories and this one is just fine! It takes imagination to write a story and not to much to knock one. Plus not even leave your name. GOT BALLS NOT!! Thanks.

Very interesting characters and I thought it was a nice story and I really hope there will be more to come for these characters in the future. Thanks for your time and effort.

Ok... Stepsister was brought up in Norway. Stockholm is in Sweden. My god! This is basic geography..

Anon - you caught me. My bad. Can you tell I failed geography? To be honest, I had revised the story from a shorter story and didn't catch the two geographical errors. The places in Chicago I checked, but ...

A lot of readers thought the story was too short, but I didn't. But you know what - with the error there and your comments, I decided to do something I haven't ever done before - a partial re-write.

I have expanded the story, not too much - I want it to be a cute, fun read - but perhaps the extra 400 words or so will help in your enjoyment.

When the revised edition is posted readers, I have asked for a new page and this one be eliminated. If you'd like to comment again, please feel free to do so. If you still dislike it, well, I tried. We all can grow a bit and I appreciate the opportunity.

Thanks for reading, new stuff soon.

~~BrettJ

I have seen a lot of silly complaints about stories but complaining about a geography mistake is simply over the top. This is a great story and I didn’t feel it was rushed at all. If this author was a baseball player he has a lot more hits than misses and regularly hits it out of the park. Anonymous comments aren’t worth all that much. Pretty sad to have to hide your identity because you have no balls.

Oops I read past your mistakes, had to do a re-read.

It's silly to nit pick at some stories, some writers would do well to use spell check.

I am glad that you didn't see fit to have a 9"-10" cock or larger in your story, writers that do are just trying to make up for what their story is lacking.

Good to see you back at your hot nasty best :) love the sotry and leaving the stockings on :) Should do a part 2 of wedding night or something. great characters

A recent comment on this story accused me of carelessness. True - this one had some blips and I copped to them and changed a few. Interesting though, how this person who had the gall to accuse me of carelessness and who, of course, is Anonymous - aren't they all? - couldn't even spell "Santa Claus" correctly. Or bother to use capital letters. I'm getting to the point where I will delete all negative and pointless comments immediately and especially those who hide behind the veil of "anonymous". It's pointless to call someone a hack and attacking them personally is not a critique - it's just plain being an asshole.

Just read your comments BrettJ...

Tired of all the Anonymous negative comments made by sad assholes - I wonder if they have the guts to write their own stories ?

Sadly I am useless at story writing,but I DO admire those that CAN write and their courage to post those stories - far from critising their efforts,readers should encourage them,if only for the pleasure they give to us lesser mortals.

Keep writing BrettJ - ''pour encourager les autres'' - (pardon the crap French...)

you say it sounded good in your head, that is the biggest problem writers here have they can't get what is in their head into the story. we are not in your head so you need to give us all the details like character development and background build up the plot with details and give it a proper end. you say you know what you are doing i say BULLSHIT you need a GOOD EDITOR just as bad as a first timer does.

WTF, folks it is just a story. Don't get all bent out of shape because of some minor errors. I loved it. Thank you for sharing it with us!

I totally agree with Alaska, a story is a story, there were some mistakes, but what the hell! I really enjoyed it and is that not what the story was all about.

Look forward to more.

Thanks.

Handyman2

have to read the story. without that i can tell u are a looser. who want two pussy at same time. and make the sister a bi

Well "I Don't"..if anyone is the LOOSER its you ya dip shit...if you don't like someones story then keep it to yourself and just move on. Personally i liked it :o]

To have Mitch come and have Nikki fall madly in love with him and propose to her was just a dream come true,but to also turn his long lost Lesbian sister Felicia into his Bisexual Lover so he and Nikki could share her was just icing on the cake.

And Mitch wanting Nikki to give up her Call Girl lifestyle so he could marry her really did mean he loved her and also Felicia too so they could be a happy family of three,unless Mitch managed to knock up his sister and Nikki with lots of babies to love,in that case I hope they raise them to be incestuous bisexual siblings like their parents.Just Magical.

That saying is perfectly true,for Mitch to find out he has a sister,and more importantly that she was a temporary lesbian until Felicia fucked her brother Mitch at the insistance of her girlfriend Nikki,and ultimately turning Felicia into a bisexual incestuous woman was just the proverbial icing on the cake.

Altho admittedly the short one page was a little off-putting and should have been longer the story itself flowed well with all 3 having very similar interests,and Mitch,Felicia,and Nikki establishing emotional issues such as jealousy and ensuring they don't show favortism one over the other and treat them the same.

That way all three know each one is as important as the other.But another thought came to me,but should Mitch have also got both Nikki and Felicia pregnant and had kids with both of them when Nikki became his Fiancee,that would have been kickass awesome.

Cute short story. Written well.

This is a hot & fun little ditty!

This gets hotter every time I read it!