All Comments on 'Lowborn Ch. 01'

I will always love your stories.

Dammitall. Now I feel like a total douche.

I didn't know that your wife had passed away.

I offer my late, (and probably totally hollow-sounding, but I'll say it anyways), condolences.

I guess now I know what that personal tragedy was in the middle of SOTM.

I kept things completely under wraps for several months, and only revealed it in passing on my blog even then. Just thought that I should put it out front, considering how slowly SOTM is progressing.

So, no worries :)

This one didn't exactly come out quick. If I remember correctly, I started this story five years ago, and only had the breakthrough to finish it in the last month or so.

The only bit of advice I have to offer from a technical standpoint is commas after conjunctions (and, or, for, nor, yet but so and ;), often referred to as "oxford commas," aren't necessary. While not wrong, the practice is considered old-fashioned.

That said, I enjoyed the time you took to develop the Cerebus character. Given his lineage, the time period, his age and the nature of his conception, the way he is regarded by those around him is perfect. To take it a step beyond, the way he deals with the difficulties of his appearance is also very accurate too. The isolation, seeking physical contact with Delly and the slim hope he carries of her one day running away with him add a depth to the character generally lacking in not just Literotica stories but novels in general. Incredibly well done sir.

At the risk of sounding like a fanboy, I've got to say that I've learned a lot from this piece. You gave enough physical description for us to paint a rough picture in our heads without forcing your version of the characters onto us. If you asked 100 different people to describe your character's physical appearances, you would probably end up with 100 different answers.

I've read some of your work in the past (and enjoyed them) but this piece stands out among the rest of your offerings (and it's only maybe 4k words long!). You're a prime example of practice making perfect and I can't wait to see more from you. I'll be following this series as you post it.

Thanks for the praise! It really does make my day when I see a comment like this. I've always considered my characters to be my one true strength.

Here's to hoping you enjoy the rest of my cast of characters as much. You'll begin meeting them on Monday ( If Lit's queue sticks to recent norms )

There are a lot of things I do when I write that I know break rules and new conventions. I'm just stuck in my ways, I guess *laugh* Try not to cringe too much in a few chapters when I use some double punctuation. My editor suggested that I drop it, and reinforced it with a follow-up email, but I vetoed him. Sticking to his guns but accepting when my armor of stubbornness is stronger is why he edits all my stuff ;)

This ( and my limited vocabulary, especially with regard to strong verbs ) is the reason I'll always be penning my stuff for free.

Your vocabulary may not be a walking dictionary, but as long as you can get your point across, it doesn't need to be.

So screw conventions -- if you write better when you follow your own rules, (and I daresay you do), then just stick with that.

I actually shouted in glee when I saw this posted! I've enjoyed your other work and I'm glad to see something new.

Hi, I hope you get the chance to finish sisters of the mist soon... Looking forward to it all these time