Mason Ch. 12

They were greeted at the door by a pleasant young woman who led them to their table. Mason kept looking around the restaurant; something didn't feel quite right to him. He glanced over at Toni who was looking around just as he was. The restaurant looked clean; the staff was impeccably dressed so what was wrong? He wondered. Then it hit him, this wasn't Toni, she wasn't comfortable here and it had nothing to do with being on a date. She wasn't a dress up kind of woman, he didn't know how he could have missed that, even at home she was always in jeans or sweats and at work her dress was as casual as the dress policy would allow.

"Toni, let's go." he said taking her hand.

"What? We just got here." Toni said.

"I know but this doesn't feel right, let's go somewhere else." Mason said standing just as their server came to the table.

"Is everything alright?" the server asked.

"Yes, the restaurant is lovely but I'm afraid that we must leave." Mason said as he helped Toni out of her chair.

Once outside Toni turned to Mason, "mind telling me what that was all about?" she asked.

"This place, it wasn't the right place to bring you for a first date." Mason said. "I want tonight to be relaxed and not stuck up and stuffy. How about a drive up the coast?" he asked. "We'll find a place to eat on the way."

"But it's dark out." Toni said but secretly she was glad to be out of the restaurant. Every once in a while she and James would go to an upscale restaurant but it was usually because it was where his parents wanted to meet or there was some function to attend.

"The moon's out and it's much too beautiful a night to be indoors, what do you think?" he asked.

Toni shrugged, "I'm game if you are."

A few minutes later, they were in the car and headed toward the water. Toni kicked off her shoes with a sigh of relief; she hated wearing heels as much as she hated dressing up. Before long, Mason pulled into the parking lot of a restaurant that he had heard about. They were much overdressed but they would both be more comfortable here.

"I've heard about this place." Toni said. "They're supposed to have the best deep fried shrimp around." she added.

"I guess we're about to find out." Mason replied as he parked the car and got out.

He opened the car door for Toni and helped her out. Toni stood by the car, closed her eyes and listened to the sound of the ocean as the warm breeze blew across her hair across her face. Mason reached over and pushed her hair behind her ears without speaking. This felt right he thought as he waited for Toni to indicate that she was ready to go in.

A few minutes later, they were inside of the restaurant sitting in a corner booth. After the first initial looks, everyone went back to eating their food. Their server was an older woman who could recite the menu from memory she had been working there for that long.

"What would you like?" Mason asked as he looked over the menu that the server had just quoted verbatim.

"I don't know why you don't go first I should know what I want by then." Toni replied.

Mason looked at the server with a smile. "Could you give us a few more minutes?" he asked.

The server smiled back and left the table only to come back ten minutes later. This time Toni was ready but the server asked Mason for his order first. Mason deferred to Toni.

"Have you decided?" he asked.

Toni ordered the jumbo butterfly shrimp, baked potato with all of the trimmings and a salad along with a Pepsi. Mason ordered the identical dinner with the exception of the drink, he had beer instead of the cola. When the server was gone, Mason leaned forward and said "tell me about Dr. Toni Jacobson." in a conspirator whisper.

Toni leaned forward and whispered, "There isn't much to tell." and then leaned back.

"I don't believe that." Mason said leaning back as their server came back with a basket of warm cheese biscuits and a plate of butter.

Toni shrugged, "really there isn't much to tell. I'm an only child but you already know that. You know my parents who by the way are thrilled that we're out together. I've never wanted to be anything but a doctor, I never wanted to be a beauty queen or anything like that. I never saw myself as a wife let alone a mother just a doctor, nothing more and nothing less but you have me at a disadvantage, you know much more about me than I do you so tell me about yourself." Toni said as she took a bite out of one of the warm biscuit.

"Well, I have no siblings; my parents still live but don't live here in the states although they visit every so often. I like to watch the news and I read every newspaper I can get my hands on and as you know, I love to cook." Mason replied.

"Why psychiatry as opposed to other fields in medicine?" Toni asked.

"I don't know, I guess I was and am still intrigued by the v... human mind." Mason said correcting himself before he said vampire. "The brain is what catches my interest, the rest of the body is important but it is the brain that controls it." Mason replied.

"That's true but I like trying to figure out what's wrong with the body and leave the mental stuff to your profession." Toni replied. "The question that I have for you is this, why leave a lucrative private practice to work at a hospital?" she asked.

Toni was relaxed now; their conversation now flowed freely and without reticence. Mason was glad that they left the Italian restaurant.

"I started out in a hospital setting and decided to go back to it for a while. I haven't given up my private practice, I still see a few select patients." he replied.

"So it's the going back to your roots thing is that it?" Toni asked not sounding convinced.

"Something like that." Mason replied keenly aware that Toni was more perceptive than she realized.

Their conversation was interrupted by the server arriving with their food. Toni took a bite of her shrimp and pronounced it excellent, a sentiment echoed by Mason. Neither of them spoke for several minutes as they ate their food. What Mason appreciated was that Toni ate like she normally ate; she didn't put on airs and pick at her food like some of the other human women that he knew. In watching her, he could see why James fell in love with her, hell he was in love with her himself.

Mason's fork stopped halfway to his mouth, he had just admitted to himself that he was in love with Toni Jacobson. When had that happened? He wondered. He knew that he was falling in love with her but at what point did he fall completely in love with her?

"Mason? Are you alright?" Toni asked.

"What?" Mason asked.

"I asked if you were alright, you just froze with your fork halfway to your mouth." Toni replied.

"I'm fine; I just had a thought is all." Mason replied putting the fork down on his plate.

"Care to share?" Toni asked.

"I was just thinking that I'm glad that you agreed to have dinner with me." Mason replied which was true even if he hadn't been thinking about it at that moment.

"Wow, I never made someone stop eating before." Toni replied but she didn't believe him. He was lying to her again and she didn't understand how she knew that.

"Toni, I really am glad that you're here with me." Mason said quietly.

"Thank you for inviting me." Toni replied not sure of what else to say.

"You're welcome, how about a walk when we're finished?" Mason asked. He knew that Toni didn't believe him when he told her what he had been thinking about but he also knew that she wouldn't call him on it.

"Sure, I need the restroom first though." she said as she looked around for the restroom.

"It's behind you." Mason said and stood when Toni stood and didn't sit down until she had walked away.

When she came back, Mason stood again, held her chair for her as she sat down.

They heard an elderly man commenting to a younger man, "You see that? That's what you call manners, that is how a man is supposed to treat a lady."

"Yeah well, this isn't the olden days." The young man countered. "Women today don't want to be treated like that, they would call it sexual harassment or some shit like that. I'll bet that that woman didn't even like that he did that, she's just being polite and not saying anything."

This prompted Toni to speak.

"Excuse me but I couldn't help but to overhear your conversation." She said to the two men. "I for one happen to enjoy being treated like a lady so I'm not just being nice about it. I will grant you that there are women who might be offended by the courtesy that my dinner date has shown but I think that there are more women who do appreciate it than not." Toni said before turning back to Mason. "Sorry about that." she mumbled.

"Don't be, I have often wondered what happened to the art of being a gentleman...."

"Which reminds me." Toni interrupted, "Just how old are you? You look like you might be late thirties but forty tops but you have the mannerisms of someone much older."

Mason thought frantically, what age should he give her? "You're a good guesser, I'm thirty-nine." Mason replied.

He just lied to me again Toni thought as she looked at him and she wanted to know why but this wasn't the place or time to bring it up. She was having a nice time but she was going to find out why he was lying to her, none of the lies were anything big or important but it bothered her that he felt that he had to lie to her.

Toni definitely was his mate Mason realized, she knew that he was lying to her and it was only a matter of time before she asked him point blank why and he'd better be ready to either tell her the truth or ....there was no or. He would have to tell her the truth.

Mason paid the bill, stood up and held Toni's chair out for her. Placing his hand on the small of her back, he guided her to the exit. They walked a short way from the restaurant and looked toward the ocean, the breeze blew Toni's hair in her face and once again Mason pushed it behind her ear. That was it he realized, that was when he fell in love with her, something so simple was all that it had taken. As much as he wanted to push things to their ultimate conclusion, Mason forced himself to slow down. He started out by wooing her in the human way; he would win her heart in the human way.

They walked for a few minutes before Toni gave up and took her shoes off relishing the feeling of having her feet free.

"What time do you need to pick Jamie up?" Mason asked hoping that it wouldn't be too soon.

"He's staying with my parents for the night." Toni replied not seeing the glitter in Mason's eyes.

It was late well past midnight when he took Toni home. He walked her to the door and waited for her to unlock it.

"Would you like to come in for coffee?" she asked.

"Only if I make it." Mason teased. He found out during the evening that coffee wasn't the only thing that Toni couldn't do, she couldn't cook either.

"How is that possible?" he asked. "Your mother is a wonderful cook."

"Yeah well, that was one of the things that I wasn't interested in." Tony had replied.

Toni got out the coffee and let Mason make it while she got out the mugs, sugar and creamer. Mason watched her out of the corner of his eye as she moved about the kitchen. He wondered what she would feel like in his arms but it was too soon to be thinking like that, it would only serve to get him more aroused than he was with no real way of relieving himself other than the obvious. To him that was no real option; he would wait for Toni and hope that he wouldn't have to wait for too long.

Toni put the coffee and creamer on a tray along side of the mugs and stood next to Mason waiting for the coffee to brew.

"I still haven't seen hide or hair of my neighbor." she said.

"Maybe he's just quiet or he's here the nights that you're at work." Mason replied.

"Maybe." Toni conceded as Mason poured the coffee into the mugs.

Toni had to wonder why Mason hadn't remarried or at least have a significant other. What woman in her right mind wouldn't jump at the chance to be with a man like him? As soon as the thought hit her, she realized that she really didn't like the idea of Mason being with anyone else.

Shit, she thought to herself as Mason followed her to the living room carrying the tray with the coffee, cream and sugar.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Toni asked when they were sitting and each had their mug of coffee.

"Of course although I don't promise to answer." Mason replied.

"What happened to her? The one that you lost I mean." Toni asked.

So it begins, Mason thought as he took a sip of his coffee to buy him a few seconds.

"She didn't die if that's what you mean." Mason replied. "She's alive, well and happily married with twin daughters."

"I don't understand." Toni said, "When you said you lost her I thought that you meant that she died."

"Toni, there's more than one way to lose someone. I lost Katrina-that is her name to another man, she was his ma....wife and while he was away, I fell in love with her." Mason said.

Toni was silent for a minute before she spoke, "You had an affair with another man's wife?"

"No, it wasn't like that at all. Ethan was and is a friend who needed me to watch over Katrina while he dealt with some personal issues. I didn't plan to fall in love with her, it just happened but you need to know that the feeling wasn't reciprocated. Katrina never saw me as more than a friend who was with her when she had the twins, it was my fault that I stayed as long as I did."

"Why didn't you leave?" Toni asked believing him about the affair.

"I thought that maybe Ethan would fuck up and that she'd come to me but it didn't happen and to be honest, I knew that it wouldn't but I just couldn't make myself leave. When I left, I moved to Boston and joined a friend of mine in his practice."

Again Toni sensed no lie.

"Did her husband know how you felt about her?" Toni asked.

"He knew but he also knew that I wouldn't act on my feelings, my sense of honor wouldn't allow me to." Mason replied.

There it was again, that old way of thinking but Toni found that she liked it and she was also glad that there had been no affair.

"And you and he are still friends?" Toni asked somewhat surprised.

"We are." Mason replied

"The night that you helped me get James back to my apartment, she was the reason that you didn't want to have a drink with me wasn't she?" Toni asked.

"Yes and I have to admit, I regretted turning you down." Mason replied.

"Do you still love her?" Toni asked.

"I think that there will always be a part of me that will love her even though she didn't return my affections. Does that mean that I can't love someone else? Not at all. Katrina and I were never meant to be no matter how much I may wanted it. It just took me some time to understand that and once I did, I went through a grieving process similar to your own."

"I understand the love part of it." Toni said. "Whoever I ended up with, if I ended up with someone would have to understand that I loved James and that is something that will never change but not only that, I will always love him. I know that it isn't fair but that's the way I feel." Toni said.

"I think I mentioned to you before that it would be unreasonable for someone to expect you to forget James and what you had together. He loved you very much and you have Jamie that you adopted and raised as your own, for that reason alone, you could never forget James and what you had together. May I ask you a question?" Mason asked.

Toni hesitated before answering, "Only if I'm under no obligation to answer."

"Fair enough, why did you initially change your mind about tonight?" Mason asked.

"I... I thought that maybe I was betraying James somehow, that maybe Gina was right that it was too soon for me to be going out with someone." Toni replied.

"What changed your mind?" Mason asked.

"James." Toni replied. "The last disc that he left for me was his blessing for me to be with someone if I chose to be. He wanted me to be happy and told me that I wasn't supposed to feel guilty about it."

"And do you feel guilty about going out with me?" Mason asked.

"Not anymore but I did at the beginning." Toni admitted with a small smile. "By the way, I had a really good time." she added.

"Good enough to go out with me again?" Mason asked.

"Good enough for that." Toni said blushing uncharacteristically.

Mason said a silent word of thanks and smiled at Toni. "I think that the next date needs to include Jamie." Mason said as he sat his coffee cup down.

"He would like that, he was more than a little miffed that he didn't get to see you tonight and he wants to show off how well he can read." Toni said.

"I have to work tomorrow night, is it alright if I call you during my breaks?" Mason asked.

"Oh, umm sure. I don't go to bed too early." Toni replied suddenly feeling a little too warm.

"Toni, tell me about James." Mason said. He wanted to know more about the man that Toni had grieved over for three years.

"What do you want to know?" Toni asked.

"Whatever you want to tell me, I want to know about the man that loved you and Jamie so much." Mason said.

"This is really weird." Toni said. "Most men wouldn't want to spend the evening talking about another man."

"I'm not most men and I think that you know that." Mason said.

Toni did know. She knew that there was something very different about Mason Donahue and she wanted to know what it was. It was more than his old fashioned mannerisms and his view on the way that he thought that women should be treated, it was.... What? She just couldn't put her finger on it.

"Tell me about him." Mason urged.

"James was probably one of the most patient men that I know...."

Two hours later, Toni was still talking. Mason didn't interrupt her once, he had seriously misjudged James the first time that he met him. That didn't excuse him being so drunk that he couldn't have protected Toni but Mason did understand the pain of losing someone.

He felt Toni's pain when she realized that something was seriously wrong with James. He felt her sadness as she talked about how they had decided not to have children, they hadn't wanted to take the chance that their children would have the same condition that James did. He heard the happiness in her voice when they were at the hospital to see Jamie being born and then taking him home with them. Jamie's birth mother was completing her four year degree and headed toward medical school courtesy of James.

By the end of another two hours, Toni had told him about the events that led up to James' death.

"I didn't think that it was possible to hurt so badly. I felt as if my entire world had turned upside down. After James died, I couldn't even begin to think of going to work. I felt as if I should have known somehow like I did the first time, what didn't help was that Gina thought the same thing. Anyway, on the last disc, James made sure that I understood that it wasn't my fault. The thing is, we knew, both of us knew that he was going to die. That was why we spent so much time together during the last two years of his life." Toni wiped tears from her face with her hand and apologized for crying.

"Don't apologize, you still miss him and that's understandable." Mason said as he pulled a handkerchief out of the pocket of his jacket.

He wiped Toni's face and folded the napkin into her hand, "keep it." he said as he moved away.

"Thanks." Toni said. "I really didn't mean to talk about him so much." she added.

Mason really didn't mind, it was something that had to happen at some point anyway and he'd much rather it be sooner as opposed to later.

"It's alright, I asked remember?" he said touching her shoulder.

"Yeah, you did and I bet that you won't ask again." Toni said sniffling.

"Toni, James was a big part of your life, if you say something about him or remember something that you used to do together, I won't be offended." Mason assured her.