by HLD
Great beginning -- I'll reserve further comment until both you and I have finished the story. I do like the names, though. If the ladies were Jane and Mary I don't think the impact would be the same.
Great story. You did a great job on the buildup. I like that alot better than 2 paragraphs and they are in bed. Keep up the good work. I cant wait till the next chapter.
A slightly shaky start, but soon becomes very nice and warm and fuzzy.
Wonderful, wonderful piece of work. So riveting. A great storyline and build-up. I can't wait for our heroine to explore that great ass she so admires on her lover. Mmmm.
Chapter two please!!!!
have the best stories, hld! the characters are always very vivid, the storyline always well thought-out. you make the story so easy to imagine in my mind's eye...it's as if i'm right there throughout the entire piece. this is yet another A+! keep up the good work!
This is the single best story I have rea on this site and one of the ten best stories I've read anywhere. I'm probably going to lose sleep reading the other two tonight, but it will be worth it. The romance between Amberle and McKayla is amazingly romantic and I hope I can do even half as good a job when I write my future stires. Thank you so much.
I'm looking forward to the next chapters. You've got a really nice narrative style that engages the reader and the build up between Amberle and McKayla is really well done.
Have read most of your other stories and find your work quite remarkable.
As a man in a world that's often polarized around gender issues, that seems so confused about them at times, I am proud that another man has written something so engaging about two women. It feels validating for those of us who try to embrace deeper truths.
The line "I'll make you a deal," I said. "You don't do relationships. I don't do girls. Why don't we teach each other something new?" is exquisite.
Just wow!
I wasn't expecting that kind of beginning, but now I love it. You realy give your reader time to imagine every detail. It is so.. a live :0)
I hope there'll be another chapt.
Keep up the good work!
Absolutely one of the best stories I've ever read. I look forward to reading the next two chapters.
Thank you, so very much for this stunning piece of art. The prose, the space between paragraphs, it all makes it very easy and very enjoyable to read. One of the best pieces on Lit that I've found.
Absolutely breathtaking, and very, very arousing. It sure made my juices flow.
I love a story that is structured well with strong character development and vibrant emotional description.
Can't wait to read 2 and 3.
I'm only on part 1 and I'm anticipating more! It's beyond fantastic! This story has had me on the edge of my seat! Or bed, I should say.
-S
I just love the way you are building up the story. Building up the characters on the way too. But the thing I love most about this story is, that it is not just about sex, it is also the meating, and the whole realationship.
5 stars. Looking forward to read 2 and 3 :D
keep up writing this way :)
I'm enjoying the pace and the build up of their story. Good work...
I love it, the build up, the tension, how the story flows....
Will move on to part 2 now :)
Miranda
I have already read this story line.. and I just love McKayla's Miracle..
The build up, the characters, the all through story behind the couple..
Would love to see more stories with such a great story and action..
I love the real story telling - plausible people so I desire to know what happens next
this has to be one of the most enthrilling story I have ever read you sould make a sequel like they did with succubus summoning. more please.
This was very well written! I'm sick of all the horrid, grammatical errors I often come across on here. I definitely enjoyed this and will read on. The only critique I have is the lack of physical description of the two main characters (from the very get go). I had to sort of make up my own visual preference and I hardly mind that at all, util later on when you started to slightly describe McKayla's physical traits. It just seemed to throw me off a bit. Nonetheless, the very best written piece I've read on her. The story is quite decent too and exceptional in other ways.
I loved this story and the other chapters as well. The build up in this chapter was fantastic though. I would love here the story from McKayla's point of view especially for the first chapter.
Just wow! This was so hot, so believable ... so outstanding!! I need to read more! ~ L
This is by far the most erotic piece i have ever read. The build up and the tension you created between the characters was truly mindblowing, and the release perfectly timed.
That was an awesome ride, reading this story. A work of art. Thank you for putting this out there.
This story is written brilliantly. I loved the subtle build-up, the way these women went about getting to know one another. The dialogue was so well done, and so rich one could envelope his or herself in the texture and the emotion of it. You are writing a masterpiece and I have already marked the other chapters as favorites. You have a talent for writing that goes far beyond this genre. You should consider writing professionally, if you haven't already done so.
One of the most beautifully written and paced stories I have ever read! Absolutely breathtaking!
Oh my. When I finally stop panting and my heart stops pounding, I'm on to chapter 2.
I really enjoyed this story my only thing is I prefer stories that lead up to the sex a little bit more
I know people have repeatedly said this but the pace in which you build up the story is just thrilling in some way too!
The way you describe these two girl's feelings just sounds so authentic. My goodness, I will drink some water before I move on to the next chapters.
GREAT JOB.
Oh. My. God. That was sexy and perfect. The sex was hot, and so realistic...argh. On to chapter two...
Wow... You got me soaking wet and my nipples rock hard AMAZING .. Horny as hell now
Okay, this might sound really weird, but there's a story really similar to this one, only it was a interracial couple, and one of the nicknames was French. This is really killing me, if you could help that would be great.
Such a great start! I'm so thoroughly pleased to be reading this well AFTER you've completed the series, because it would've been absolute torture having to wait for the next chapter. I too love a great build-up to romance, & you definitely deliver. I wish you would write another "lesbian romance" soon.
I was on a forum discussing whether men could write a good lesbian story, and you cited as an example of one who could.
I had to check you out and I'm glad I did, looking forward to reading the other chapters.
BTW, if you liked this check out author AVixenLiterally.
GREAT STORY SO FAR BETTER THAN A LOT THAT I HAVE READ AND I USUALLY DO NOT READ ABOUT LESBIAN LOVE 5 STARS PLUS . IF I REMEMBER MCKAYLA IS KEVINS FINICIAL PLANNER(MEL AND KEV IN I WANT TO BE IN LOVE).
RON TEXAS
But this? "Otherwise I'm going to rape you." No. Just no. Offensive, actually.
An excellent story, well written, one of the best. It shows the compassion and how two women love each other. Slowly and sensuously. A man can learn a lot from this.
It seems that Amberle has fallen heads over heels in total love with McKayla and very possibly McKayla feels the same about Amberle.
Ron Texas. cowboyridecc@yahoo.com
an excellent piece of writing kind of like two star crossed lovers. in my favorites and I just had to read it again tonight. Love comes in many shapes and forms but this story is a true love story between two special people
Ron Texas cowbyridecc@yahoo.com
Thank you for a wonderful introduction to this website. I dare not hope to write anything as well but will endeavour to reach your very high standard!
In my favorites and have read many times such a wonderful story about two people in love.
Ron
cowboyridecc@yahoo.com
in my favorites I have read it many times. in my eyes A TRUE LOVE STORY. It makes no difference that they are the same sex. Love is where you find it and who you find it with.
Ron
cowboyridecc@yahoo.com
I love a romantic story and this seems like its going to be one of the best ones on Lit. Got more chapters to read. 5 stars.
Not my first time to read or will it be my last...in my favorites 5 stars plus. A true love story.
Ron/ cowboyridecc@yahoo.com
The love scene was one of the greatest... Can't wait to read more.
because I found this Gem in it .
So good , so erotic and so damn sexy.
Although this story was added in 2007, I have not previously read any stories by the Author-HLD. I will continues reading the next 03-Pts. of McKayla's Miracle, and then comment on the entire story. However, I have certainly rated Pt. 01 as beautiful with 5-Stars.
HLD,wow. No words are good enough to describe how amazing this story is. You are so talented. Seeing how good you are,i am going to read all your stories. Good job. Keep them coming,i am looking forward to reading so much more of your work.
Always come back to this story for a great read! You have a remarkable way to tell it! I hate the ending, but I love their journey!