All Comments on 'James Gang Ch. 01: Mean Darbie'

I really loved this story. I especially love how the town accepted the twins relationship. Excellent job.

needs a good editor way to many stupid goofs that should have been caught in the proofreading stage. all writers should be smart enough to use a good editor before posting. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND SOME RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR

The story was great but while the main characters seemed to struggle and win their fight for acceptance, why would you seem to be racist towards the other sister and her mixed marriage and children. Is this small town in the south?

I kept the town and its location as ambiguous as possible because I wanted to focus on its unique identity, rather than trying to meet the realistic standards of any real town/county/state I picked. That said, the mild racist overtones I chose were because I envisioned the family as "old-fashioned". Kenneth's reluctance to accept his sister's love came from obsolete social mores, but he clung to them because they were "proper". It's the same for Sarah and her black husband; the parents didn't like it because they deemed it "improper", but the rest of the family and town accepted them just fine. Of course, the parents are also very screwed up people and they began to see their own faults once they saw how determined their children were to follow their own hearts.

Thanks for commenting, though. I LOVE hearing from my readers!

My sister and I moved to a big city where nobody knew us...and guess what. About four years later I ran into a college buddy...and his sister/wife. It really is a small world.

.......!!!! really?, negro football player, like anonymous above said, is this town located in the south?

Was calling them a 'litter of mulattos.' What? Did she marry a black lab? And that's from the main chatacters perspective, not the parents. Odd, man, odd!

I apologize if that seemed offensive. He also referred to them as a "litter" when first mentioning them at the beginning of the story. Like I said, the characters have a very old-fashioned outlook, but the main character is making an effort. He uses the word "dyke" instead of "lesbian" (as did Darbie at one point) and thinks that being more than a decade older than bachelorettes makes him a "cradle robber".

The characters aren't meant to be perfect people, but I do hope that they don't offend you.

I find it hard to accept that there are no racist tendencies in the writer. I also do not see any acceptance of the football player and his wife from the family or community as the writer mentioned in the last comment. That said, I was completely spellbound with the narrative and storyline. Excellent stories like these should be appealing to all races; you failed in that regard.

Best story by far in a long while!

negro football player

I liked it.

it was good...either way you chose to look at it though,it was weak...not the most arousing of stories. then from the novel perspective it could have had a bit better character development and been more descriptive. romantically i did like the way you were trying to take the stroy...please DO keep writing and improving!!!

WHAT DID THE PARENTS HAD TO DISCUSS DID HE SMASH CAROLINE.

There's now a sequel to this story titled "The James Girls". It should answer those questions, friend.

Really enjoyed this thanks

I stopped at the sister's "litter" with the Negro football player. Put a disclaimer in the heading next time you want to justify racist behavior in your stories. Save us the bother.

Wish you had more chapters for Kenny and Darbie's relationship.

It's coming :)

this is my absolute favorite of all your stories. Love it.

Stopped reading when you said negro football player ? Thats rude and i dont like racism! Thumbs down

poor writing and very rushed, you give very little background, the plot is very thin and needs better developing and the end was way to unrealistic.

Probobly one of the best stories i have read here

The character may have been in enough virgins in his life but apparently the author has never been in one, much less seen one. He slid in half way before he felt something break?! Uh, NO. Maybe they didn't have sex ed classes with pictures back when you went to school but they sure have the internet now and you can look at pictures of hymens all day long. Do your homework when you write about something you dont know about! The hymen is right the hell up front!

Anyway, other than that travesty the story was really pretty good so far! I'm looking forward to reading the rest and seeing what else you have :)

'Knob' and 'chute' were a little crass, but I guess he is technically a country boy hick, even if he did go to college... Guess some speech/thought patterns stick with you growing up, lol.

No need to apologize to everyone, unless you actually believe that you did something wrong. There is no "inalienable right to never feel offended" in the US constitution, Bill of Rights or Declaration of Independence. These "free thinkers" who obviously think incest is ok, and perhaps that adultery is ok, - they would sanitize your writing down to what they decide is acceptable? You have your own conscience. Thought Police should police themselves and leave others alone.

Well written. The characters are rough enough to add some bite. Is he racist? He's certainly imperfect, judgemental. That makes it more moving when he puts his sister above his prejudices. When he decides to be with her, he knows his community may be as judgemental as he is.

I've never seen so many self righteous comments in my 67 years. It's just a damn story people. Get over yourselves. Let the man write his stories as he sees fit and quit bitching so much. No one has to agree with him but quit being so damn nit picky.

The old guy

Well this was nice kinda rushed tbh otherwise nice