by JimBob44
I liked the story, but had a few criticisms. The sex scenes were more porn than erotica, but that is just a matter of preference. My real problem is the simple grammatical errors like using the wrong verb tense, the wrong version(spelling) of a word or just simple punctuation. Otherwise, it was a thoroughly enjoyable read!
I really enjoyed your story, you took the time to make the characters real people with real faults. Don't worry about any of the grammatical errors the douchebag who posted before pointed out, they don't detract from the story and anyone who writes knows they slip through those last minute edits from time to time. Overall a very enjoyable read ;)
Yes there are some grammatical errors, but nothing too bad.
And I liked how you build up the story and the characters in general, however, it probably would have worked even better if your leading lady wasn't blind. Either that or try to get a little more insight for what it is like to be blind, for me you missed a lot of the practical issues, making quite a lot of her actions be unrealistic, and that bothers me while reading the story. Don't get me wrong, I loved how you choose a blind girl and made her all empowered, but some practicalities stand in the way o it being a very good sory
The main character was believable,even if he wasn't a likeable guy.This author can write and most of his stories are really good to read.We may have a new author on Lit that can really write,and that is unusual with the ammount of crap that is now presented as literature on this site.Well done JimBob, please keep writing.
Very enjoyable read. You write very well, and make us identify with one or more of your characters. I am looking forward to reading more from you.
Very amusing read and I hope you write more stories along this vein. The protagonist's abrasive and callous personality was oddly charming.
Two extraordinary characters who have flaws, one with blindness, a snoring problem and constant nattering, and the other person who is extremely antisocial. It just is amazing how you worked them together. It's not your best story, but my goodness I read the whole of it! >.< It would have been better served if you gave a background to the guy's antisocialness, however, and if you concluded their mission in New York. Thanks for the read.
I loved this cute story, a feel good about the world experience.
Sentiments and longings wonderfully caught and woven to the page by your pen. Thank you
A bit predictable certainly but very nicely done.
You could use an context editor for word usage and grammar but it is not a big deal - thanks
Loved the story, even though I could see the ending coming, getting there was a lot of fun. A great read and you really know how to build a character with description and dialog.
This worked for me.
I'm a sucker. I want there to be love. I want there to be hope. I want to believe in the happy ending. So, thank you for giving me one.
just fucking brilliant ....... read about a 1000 stories in here. thhe fucking best of the best ****************** ...... you rock
Not at all predictable! The storyline was so unique, too. Good read...wish it was longer, though...
what fences must be torn down to open one up. TK U MLJ LV NV
"...her four suitcases at the baggage blame area...." Come on folks, that's funny. If you've ever flown, you know how much 'blame' there is to go around with baggage handling!
JB, terrific story, funny and dramatic fiction. Three-dimensional characters in realistic situations, talking and acting like adults. A well-crafted effort that leaves the reader caring about these people.
This was a great story about love (and in my opinion) redemption.
I really do appreciate your work. If you ever decide to publish anything, please let us know so I can purchase it.
Only complaint is i wish you had spent a little more time with in between Gary fucking anything female and falling into bed with Sharon developing them.
............& stick together. In a way they complement each other . He needs selfless love. She needs someone who believes in her abilities.
Thanx.The 5th star.
Very unusual story,didn't see the ending coming, really liked it.
Almost didn't continue after 1st paragraph, then remembered rating & plowed on-glad I did.
ps and small breasts rock!
I felt beyond sorry for Sharon. gary was a man whore and lower than creepy. I'm from the south and been all over all the south AND I HAVE NEVER HEARD ANYONE TALK like you, author tried to write the conversation!
Having read a healthy slice of your stories, this is my favourite so far. Yes, you do need an editor but you have great stories, good scenes and I do love the little details that reinforce the characters, making them much more rounded and believable. Well done!
and both got their intimate desires. TK U MLJ LV NV
One of the very few that I've given a 5 star rating to. Loved it!
It was a good story,but once they got together it all went a little to fast to be believable.
Have not reed it yt. Just wanted to note.. you seem to have master sketch or outline. Enjoy your “ st else ware “ approach. Love slap hapy papy #9
Just finished reading this. Really enjoyed this story and have worked with being people in the past and found a few like this. Great work
You stumble around your entire life not having even a clue as to what it is you are looking for and then it just sneaks up out of nowhere and you suddenly realize that this is it.
Meanie Pie is an understatement.
Asshole would be more apt.
Sharon was adorable though.
An asshole, having his rough edges smoothed out by an adorable angel. Very well written. 5*s.
It’s hard to believe this story is written by the same person who wrote all your other ones. It is such a departure from what I’ve come to expect from you. Yeah it was an earlier story, so I have to wonder what happened along the way. That said, I absolutely loved it. She was stronger than seemed, and he ended up being nicer than he seemed. They seem to be a perfect fit.