by TarnishedPenny
It's not about light at the end of the tunnel!
It's having someone to hold a torch as you dig your way out!
Days can be tough but the nights are worse.
I have not had them where I was scared to sleep.
But I sure have woken up in a hurry!
I dont have a knife under the pillow any more. But it is not far away!
This was one of those stories that clearly is a beginning. I'm sure there will be a clamor to add more chapters and perhaps that's not a bad idea. But this short tale is the beginning of something for these two characters and sometimes it's more satisfying to finish the story yourself in your own mind. The fantasy we, the readers, create is often much more fun than what the writers can do. 5* to Tarnished Penny and 5* to us who will finish the story ourselves.
Great story, very uplifting and fits right into the holiday season that certainly doesn't get shared by everyone. You could write another chapter to this one, or you could create a series of stories about vets and how they cope with society and life after the military. Some are damaged and it is not readily apparent unless you know them well.
Five stars.
Great story, very uplifting and it fits into the holiday season that not everyone gets to share in. You could write another chapter, or perhaps create a series of stories about vets who fit into society as best they can. Five stars.
Best story I've read in a long time. Full of empathy, and feelings. We don't know where they are going, but we're glad that you allowed us to come along for the ride
Your highly imaginative story is a masterpiece. Too bad I can't leave six stars.
Excellent story! Really well done, not overwritten with way too much dialogue. Lots of room to read between the lines and pull out some real empathy between the two characters. I look forward to reading your next story.
Best short I've read in a very long time. Let it stand where it is.
Thank you for this. It does honor to the Meg and Will in my life.
I very much appreciate the feedback. I had intended this as a stand-alone story; while I can see it might be taken forward (and thanks for the suggestions), I think I'll let it sit where it is for the time being.
I didn’t mean more from “Meg”. I think it’s complete. I meant I hope you submit more of your work. I think you write with an incisive and impactful style that’s profoundly affective. Again, thanks for sharing your gift.
This was great. I don't think anything more needs to be said or done with these characters, although I'm sure you could say more with the themes you addressed in this story. Nice work!
What a lovely story. Your characters are so "real," and your story sheds a little light on a group of people that often go overlooked. I love all your descriptive language and how you managed to accomplish so much depth with these characters and this story in a relatively short time. I hope that you write more stories (in general, not meaning related to this one). I am always looking for a good read! 5*
One of the best romances on the site. Meg is fantastically written; she's bold and proactive, and I can't help rooting for her and Will. You really give a new meaning to 'making love.' Can't wait to read more.
I really liked that. Been there and done that, got the T-Shirt and the scars. Can't sign in for some reason I'm Johnny 0432.
Thanks Author
You have portrayed the wounded who have served us so poignantly. We who have never served can only dimly see, as if through a fog, the lives, feelings and challenges these heroes bear. Your story, if only for a moment, parts the fog so we can see and feel, if only a little bit, their lives.
Your writing took my breath away. You made both Will and Meg so real that I am still hoping they make the relationship work. Our men and women who serve, and who have served, deserve happiness. Unless you have served you can not imagine the memories and horror they live with. I only hope that more Will's and Meg's will find their own chance for happiness this Christmas season.
Thanks for this story and please continue writing. You really are a gifted writer.
Med tech USAF Hospital, San Antonio, 61-65. Neuro surgery T-2, and Hosp. trans.(air evacs from Kelly AFB & Elmendorf AFB, Alaska, 65-68). Most careing story ever read! Pls., do more. Been there, also done that. PH 4703...
That is the first story I've read on the internet in which I found no errors to mentally edit and whine about - none.
Beyond that, as other comments have said, the artistry of the writing is top notch, professional level. To me your penny shines.
If you have not already do so, Write Your Book!
If it's appropriate, Thank You for Your Service.
My thanks to all for the kind support, votes and thoughts. Such feedback is what makes it all worth it for a writer.
A very happy and prosperous 2018 to you all.
I gave 5 stars on the first read, then a favourite for the second.
A beautiful story of two warriors finding hope again
Never before has a story brought me, a man to tears. The way in which TarnishedPenny slowly brings out the couples demons and how they gradually coped with them shows an understanding of the mental stress that incidents in their lives.
It has a feeling of incorporating first hand experience and I hope that writing this has brought closure to their demons from the past.6885
TarnishedPenny, your story pulled at my heartstrings. Yes, love blooms like dandelions, tenaciously, in places you wouldn't expect. You've given us a wonderful story that we won't forget.
Five stars were far too few, but that's all I had to give.
Who else could care for and help a “damaged” vet better than another “damaged” vet? Makes perfect sense to me. I wish I had met someone like “Meg” when I came back. It would have made life a lot better. I wish I could rate this story 10 stars. Thank you, TarnishedPennny.
A funny, unlikely meeting. I do wonder what he does in his days, though.
A wonderful love story between two who served for our benefit but now can serve each other. Great plot, well detailed characters, good internal and external dialogue, and a suburb sex scene. Great writing and well done.
The writing itself was pretty much flawless and the spare, sensitive way the damaged souls involved related to each other was handled should be a lesson to those who inflate their stories needlessly.
I love your observations, details, sense of humor as you describe what your characters face. I love your characters' kindness to each other and their courage. Moving story!
And most amazingly, no snarky remarks to go with it. It must have killed him to have given that score and to have not written any subtle cut downs. Congrats!
Sometimes a story deserves more than five stars. This is one of them. Thanks for sharing it.
Approaches perfection
as nearly as a story can. You shame us who pretend to be authors.
My God you write such real stories... I have not read your Sci-Fi ones but I might try them. What you do tell in these stories are things that some how touch my real world. Not the same story, but close enough. The coming home damaged in mind and body and not knowing why, but knowing that there was a hole in your very soul. One greater than the physical loss you know. Then finding that one person who might fill it for a time.
I do remember sitting considering simply taking away that feeling and the shame and then slowly realizing something new. If you were not afraid to admit there was a hole you might leave room for someone to fill it. A new truth, that just maybe if I laid down those chains of shame and grief there might be something and someone to fill that hole. I tell Vet friends to stop just telling each other stories and start telling those stories to other people. If some special people know there is that cold hole, it is likely that they have something even better and with more caring warmth to fill it than you even had before. The heart is sometimes a lonely hunter not realizing there are other lonely hunters passing in the night. But just waiting for you to whisper, "Hi." and maybe just tell your story... then... Hummm :-)
So tell us a story your the story teller
Tell us that story tonight
Tell it sad, tell it sweet, but tell it complete
So we'll remember it when you are gone
Thanks,
The Shadow Man - Will
Believable and earnest. I love it. You continue to impress me. I hope you never leave us when your writing takes you to the big leagues. I will happily continue to follow your works. Here and via bookstores.
Incredible emotion, craftfully expressed. We feel their pain and despair, and understand their light.
Tremendous.
As a guy I shouldnt be admitting this, but that made me cry. Beautifull. Thank you
That was a wonderful piece of writing. Not merely two people falling in love, but two people finding themselves once again. Everyone has their demons, some more than others. The physical can be hard to endure. The mental ... even more so.
You already know how I feel about your writing - I want to say more. Other things that are non-writing things. But sometimes my words get buried ... but I think you understand.
I love that we don't learn what Will did to earn his Silver Star, or anything at all about Alvarez. Those details are not essential to the story of how Meg and Will came to trust each other. I would have put them in, but I think after reading this story that perhaps my stories have too many details. Your writing is elegantly spare, tightly focused. Thank you.
Everything you need and nothing you don’t. As mentioned above, who better to tend to brokenness than someone who knows broken first hand. Easy 5 stars, as usual.
Well written and a great tribute to those who didn't come back whole. 4.7*
I'm a vet. Two co,bat tours, 90% disability rating that I expect to go up.
Without my woman...
Stripped back, minimal and just enough to make us truly grateful to those that served, but still fight their own battles, daily, years afterward and with no chance of leave or discharge. Just great writing, thank you for writing and posting, regards, Ppfzz.
Somebody who understands. Thank you very much.
For our brothers who didn't come back, or who came back part ways.
'Any love is a good love
So I took what I could get
I took what I could get
And she said
You ain't seen nothing yet' BTO
And, a well written story, too.
A lovely short story. Too vanilla for me as erotica, but five stars for literary value.
Wonderful story, and would love to learn what happened with these two in perhaps a follow up or continuation.