by dundalk
Great story for a first time, but there are a few things to improve:
1- Expand it- this was very short. 2-3 pages or more is generally a good length.
2- More interaction
3- When you get to interaction use dialogue, most people enjoy it, especially dirty talk when appropriate.
4- Keep writing!
Now let's have Mike destroy Vera's holes with his giant cock!
It would have been so hot for Vera to sample Mikes big cock and feel him shoot his seed deep into her pussy. Then get a scare that he had bred her. Or for him to have actually bred her and he could watch her belly swell with his seed. Eventually his mother would find out who sired her latest little on. Perhaps Vera could confide in Mike's mom just how well endowed her son really is, making mom hot for her own son.