All Comments on 'Mindy's Muse'

...Not at all what I was expecting. Took my breath away with that action sequence my friend. Yeah... left me wanting to hold them all for the trauma that just inflicted. Can't wait see what this detective's reaction will be. Great work, good action writing. Cheers! --- Josie

You should write for TV or the movies. I went from happy tears to terror. How dare you manipulate me like that. LOL. Keep up the great work Amigo!

Cliptoe, a great start to what promises to be a thrilling series. Your style has improved remarkably over your previous series, but it flows so much more effortlessly, interweaving story lines with skill. I'm looking forward to your next chapter.

more please all the shooting victims has to survive to make this story great

Thank you for this story yep another winner

Told with such feeling which draws you in to care for every person in the story

wishing want the very best for them

krissie xxx

Cliptoe, if you let any of them die I shall be most upset. I'm also rather worried what is happening to their houses :(

Now for a trickier matter... Hopefully you remember me enough to remember I like you and these characters and thus will know I mean well with this:

For the love of the Goddess, stop using the word "transgendered" before you piss someone off and start a label war.

Personally I only find the word a little awkward when used too often, but some people take strong offense to it even though it's not intended to be offensive and the people using it tend to be well meaning. Most people learn the hard way, hopefully this comment will be educational for multiple people.

*sigh* OK, let me try to explain the error that was getting painful by page 3.

The word "transgender" is descriptive, an adjective most of the time, so one might say "Mia is transgender" or "issues arising from the girls being transgender" and everyone is fine with that. I might be stating the obvious, sorry, but it's necessary for the next bit.

By adding the -ed suffix the speaker is making it transformative which is a Really Bad Thing. While one doesn't tend to think of it in that context it's likely more obvious if I substitute it for a more common adjective... Let's use tanned. "Mia is tanned". This conveys two pieces of information. Firstly the information that she has a tan now, and secondly that she /became/ tanned. Maybe not the best example, since people can have that shade of skin naturally, but it will do. The thing with this kind of construct is that it tends to imply an action or event that modifies the subject to a different state. Wounded, elevated, married, enlarged. They tend to imply that they became that way, rather than having always been thus. Which results in some people feeling that saying someone is transgendered is implying they somehow became transgender, rather than having always been that way. I'm sure you can imagine how quickly that train of thought goes down hill.

Hopefully that helps and sorry for being troublesome.

You write beautifully! Such well crafted storytelling. Cant wait to read the next part of everyone's journey. So many thanks.

I hate literary cliffhangers. And what are those bastards doing to the HOUSE???

Should have just eliminated the problem with pain in the first place.

I agree with usmclass, should have eliminated Pain from the start. Some one needs to call Killer Doc or The Flaming Red Widow Maker!