All Comments on 'Mixed Emotions'

Well done, DG.

Just like all DGH stories. Haven't saved a bad one yet. Some writers just have the talent for a good yarn.

Did you leave out the part about Jeff being dropped on his head as a baby? Can't think of any other reason for a character to be so incredibly and perpetually clueless. I know for stories to work that you have to have the willing suspension of disbelief, but this was way beyond that.

You are always a pleasure to read!!!

Just made a rainy day great. Wonderful story and as you said it could have been put in many categories but I think you got it right. A true romance. Thanks for this and all of your stories.

I really enjoyed this story sad about Candy but, dang the girl was out there. I the forever romantic am happy Charly and Jeff were able to get together.

or must we wait and see the outcome. TK U MLJ LV NV

This writer must be Hear's great grand daughter, so juvy . . .

A few editing errors here and there but a solid story. Good read.

As DG pointed out it could have just as easily been put in the LW category but the major tone was Romance.

i wish before some of these so called writers published their stories on literotica. they would read some of DG HEAR stories, and compare their stories, they would either make a lot of changes. either that or we would have lot more trash on literotica. DG u the best TIGERTONY

Another great read Thanks, just keep up the good work.

"A few editing errors here and there but a solid story. Good read." I would appreciate knowing what these errors were (or are). One of the harder parts of copy editing, as I've said more than once, is dealing with narration, where the speaker is using the vernacular. If I try to eliminate all the colloquialisms and all the grammatical mistakes, I have dry-cleaned the character so that his personality is lost. The speaker here is not an English professor or a professional copy editor; IIRC, he operates a forklift, or does other work, in a parts factory or warehouse. If I try to "prettify" his speech, he becomes completely unbelievable.

Mark Twain blasted James Fenimore Cooper for transgressing all the 19 rules "governing literary art in the realm of romantic fiction". I take especial note of Twain's comment number 7 (and remember Twain was writing this in 1895, so his language is time-bound): "They [the rules] require that when a personage talks like an illustrated, gilt-edged, tree-calf, hand-tooled, seven- dollar Friendship's Offering in the beginning of a paragraph, he shall not talk like a negro minstrel in the end of it. But this rule is flung down and danced upon in the 'Deerslayer' tale.'

DG Hear follows that rule to the letter. His character always sounds like the same person. I don't want to change that in the slightest.

Thank you to everyone who reads, votes and comments on my stories. It really means a lot to me and is very appreciated.

As Estragon has explained, I want my characters to talk and sound like real people. Their grammer might not be the best but I know they can be understood. In my world not everyone talks perfect. LOL

I know I'll always be an amature but I enjoy writing my thoughts for others to read and hopefully enjoy. In closing I'll remind the readers that I always have the last read before submitting and always find myself tinkering with the story. No fault of the editor.

Thanks again for taking the time to read my stories.

With respect

DG Hear

It's always good to hear from you. I can't help wondering about those DNA test. Will Charly ever tell him the truth? Yeah, I know all men are insensitive lumps, but doesn't he deserve the truth?

Good as it is always.

I don't think I have ever known you to miss. This one is no exception. You are just a Five Star author, DG. Thank you for all that you do.

nothing new here that i haven't read in your older stories....

estragon’s comments about dialog are exactly right – clean up the speech to meet the standards of – oh, a business letter – and you’ll suck the life out of the story

That being said, I don’t think this author shows a very good ear for the way people actually talk. His stories come closer than most on this list – but that is damnation with faint praise. Examples - consistently the best on this list - will be found in submissions by Lucy1970Harker

The author wrote in response to the comments “I know I'll always be an amature (sic).” I guess that shows the value of estragon’s contribution to the story so far as proofreading goes.

My suggestion to the author is that he find another plot line AND try a different POV – perhaps multiple third person. Girl meets boy and nature takes its course; the story will get its interest from whatever bumps in the road the protagonists encounter – and maybe it isn’t true love and babies at the end, but just waking up after a good roll in the hay.

Only the cause of death for Candy kept this one from being a 5 star. I believe this is the third time I've read a story where the antagonist has died in a car wreck while giving a blowjob to her lover. I think Slirpuff was the first to use this scenario. Other than that, this was another feel good story, of which you are definitely the master.

DG, another good read. Thanks again for sharing your writing!

Alan

Why not arresting this statement:

"We feel you should get back into dating and maybe find a wonderful wife for our grandbabies." I myself think a wonderful mother would be better!

Hi my name is Chris. Last story that i read of yours was "My Sister's Wedding" and after reading this one i can say only one thing I'M UR FAN 4 LIFE

This story is having everything. It includes all types of emotions.

I can give u an example

I GOT 3 MIXED EMOTIONS ON HER DEATH

*SAD: When her mother screamed on the phone.

*ANGER: When she was giving a BJ in the car.

*LAUGH: When he told Doctors received a piece of a penis from her mouth.

What a story hats off to you man.

No ones expected that she'll gonna die.

You're capable of playing with your readers mind. Keep writing the dope stories. I luv your work man.s of emotions.

I can give u an example

I GOT 3 MIXED EMOTIONS ON HER DEATH

*SAD: When her mother screamed on the phone.

*ANGER: When she was giving a BJ in the car.

*LAUGH: When he told Doctors received a piece of a penis from her mouth.

What a story hats off to you man.

No ones expected that she'll gonna die.

You're capable of playing with your readers mind. Keep writing the dope stories. I luv your work man.

Everyone give this story a 5 star or I'll kick your ass lol

Sir another leech stucked in a vaccum jar. I think my mind has become a Movie Theatre for DG HEAR's stories.

DGH, I really enjoy your stories but to me the protagonist in this story was just too naive, unbelievably so. I couldn't give this a five, so I guess someone will be kicking my butt <smile>

Your story has great pathos and decent character development, but the almost stream-of-consciousness grammar and adolescent plot devices made it difficult to love. Please keep writing, but get an editor.

It got serious editing, from me. That is, copy editing. I don't do plot, characterization or continuity. This is narration; the main character is telling his own story. You may have noticed that he is not an English professor or an editor, professional or amateur. The stream-of-consciousness narration is the man talking. If I tried to "prettify" his speech, correct every error, turn it into literary prose, I'd eviscerate the character and destroy the story--oh, and incidentally deserve to be fired on the spot.

As a much greater author prefaced a much greater stream-of-consciousness story, replete with bad grammar and an adolescent point of view: : "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR"

I mean really???

very good story.I have read a few of your stories and in some of them you take the easy way out by killing off the slut wife.get a life and make the bitch suffer.

It seems to me that life almost never works out this way for real people - mores the pity.

It is the story book ending - most of us never see what is in front of our face until it is truly too late -

Thanks as always for you effort and your sharing -

He sure cried alot. I guess he had ALL the emotional baggage..

Most of your stories are all about pansy assed guys crying like little babies. This one has an absolute idiot as your protagonist. No way should Charley have anything going on with him, ever!

JUST WHY ANY WOMAN WOULD WANT TO LUMBERED WITH THIS PATHETIC ASSHOLE IS BEYOND COMPREHENSION...WHAT A TOTAL LOSER...A WUSS...A PANSY...A USELESS ASSHOLE....SHE NEEDS TO DITCH HIM AND QUICK...

I felt that it was like reading a Police Report? It just doesn't click in to place! Makes a fine Police Report BUT not so in the story side of things!

Anyway the story itself is Great! Thanks for sharing this Fantastic story with us!

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ WOOF!

OH! PLEEEEEEEEEZE REMEMBER IN THIS BEAUTIFUL WORLD OF OURS!

MAKE LOVE NOT WAR (I reckon a lot of women got wet in the pussie area during Woodstock) Let's all cheer for Free Love See ya!

is between his naiviety , nature and belief in vows, TK U MLJ LV NV

They really needed to wait a few years till the twin went to school . Kids are great but to many to soon can be tiring. And no time for each other. Establishing herself at work. Etc. 😡👬👭

The story was great until the ending. I'm all for a happy couple having children, but stopping birth control without telling your partner is NOT CUTE. Having children is a joint decision between a husband and wife. Doing otherwise is just deception.

Imagine if they were not married and just dating. She decides to stop taking the pill without telling the guy. She gets pregnant, because he's so potent. Ha, Ha. So funny. NOT!!

First off you state that they were inseparable during primary school. Even though he was a year old, when they reached high school they would have still hung out in the evenings, weekends and all summer. They would have gone to each other’s games since the school doesn’t hold the games at the same time.

What caused Candy to bite off his cock? When she hit her head on the steering wheel? Well she couldn’t hit the steering wheel very hard because her head would have been very close to it while giving the blow job. That wouldn’t have caused the accident. The mostly likely cause could be in attention as he was cumming while going around a curve but you didn’t mention that scenario. So the accident looks contrived.

It was a good story until the end, when Charly acted very out of character.

I can't believe she'd get pregnant without discussing it with her husband. Not only was it hugely disrespectful to arbitrarily make a life-changing decision like that, she denied him the thrill of deliberately impregnating his wife. There's nothing more intimate than consciously making a baby with the woman you love.

4* - would have 5 but for the unilateral decision on birth control AGAIN!

Great Story!

Another great love story I try to put comments after all your stories BUT that stupid non robot thingie often will not accept my typing Best wishes (jaybee186)

In spite of some weaknesses in logic, timeline, etc. I loved the base of the story and the weaving of the plot.

5*

BJ

5 stars. Once again, you are a darn good storyteller.

ANOTHER STUPID MC JEFF......MR CUCK

This is the third story so far where they get married and the wife stops taking the pill and only informs the husband once she's pregnant!!

Surely it's a couple's decision, not only the wife's!!

But then again, all your MC are weak wimps and cucks!!

Great story, but I agree with others. Discontinuing contraception without a discussion and a mutual consensus is messed up. My wife and I are now well beyond our childbearing years, but if she had ever done that to me I would have been incandescent.

Your protagonist really was too stupid to be allowed to procreate. And was Charly concerned about him meeting her school friends when they went to school together from the first grade?

Not your best effort.

Just reading some older DG Hear stories!

5

JEFF WAS TRAILER PARK TRASH JUST LIKE CANDY!!