All Comments on 'Mixer'

so far so good. Don't fall into the trap of having them fuck right away in the follow up. Make it tormenting. I would like to seem them get some kind of revenge on Mary by forcing her into some incestous situation.

Revenge should definitly be on the table for a next chapter.

Great story with a lot of potential with many different possible outcomes. Can't wait to see what direction you take this story.

can't wait to hear what happens next!!!!!

Only one thing - write some more - soon!

Lukas

An excellent piece of erotic writing you have underway here, WatchingCloud. Very impressive! Your writing has a very even measure that I enjoyed very much. I think I'd like to see you submit some non-erotic work, too. I'd read it!

Yes, good premise for them getting together.

Continue? - Yes

Revenge? - Yes

Maybe Mary gets sexually frustrated by the brother before the siblings go to get it on?

While it smacks of the classic masked ball type of incest story, you handle this very well.

One method of revenge...

Bryce is able to work with the mixer the next party. He and Sarah agree that he'll set up Mary with the kind of dweeb nasty that she had feared she would get. The dweeb pushes Mary into doing more than she wanted when they're in the room. Would be more of a nonconsent/reluctance story instead of incest. Although you could always work that in if you wanted.

Your story, entertain me.

Jenny

This must be continued

Very well written, if part two is only half as good it will be more than excellent, well done, keep writing

Peter

one of the best stories I've read in a long time. Very hot! I hope there's a lot more.

The case of the vindictive bitch's revenge. And what happens? Surprise incest and lust in the dark. Great idea, and very VERY hot.

A well-written, erotic and entirely believable happening between two sexually-experienced siblings. Beautiful! However, who are these readers always wanting more of the same? Appreciate great essays like this as one of a kind, then move on! Variety, man!

I seriously found the ending to be funny lol.....i had completely forgot this was in the incest/taboo category and i just thought bryce was like an ex or something lol.....but anyway great story man

totally empty. You could see the end a mile off. Not much imagination to this one. No need to read the sequel, heaven forbid there be one, because it will end with the same transparency as it started.

booo, hiss.

I don't care what others said. But I think the setting was absolutely hot!

I could see the end a mile off also, most trips have one. But the real fun is the trip itself; the things to see (maybe) and the people to 'do'. I would definitely enjoy another excursion into the unknown.

Very good now when does it continue

Nice job!

So what, it was her brother. Worked out pretty well.

I enjoyed the flow and will read more of your work! Is arousing!

Nice start; Mixer huh? Fun!

Thanks for sharing.

If this were my story, the next chapter would have Bryce and Sarah double teaming Mary the bitch who set them up. There would be a lot of pain, electrical play, and torture involved. And Mary wouldn't be the same afterwards...

Story starts well and then it just stops. Another incomplete story.