All Comments on 'Molly'
by bleeep
- 26 Comments
uk_writer_535 months agoI thought it xould have been longer and fleshed out the characters more but otherwise i enjoyed the story. Nicely written.
acup5 months agoI'll agree with it could have been fleshed out a bit more, but over all good. Definitely had an ending, not chopped off to get it completed. Might be a candidate for an 'update' somewhere down the road if you feel like fleshing it out some.
goodshoes25 months agoGreat story for my otherwise bleak, rainy, damp, raw day. At least no snow in the forecast for where I live (in the USA). Add a second chapter? Not needed. Just writing more similar to this will make me and other readers happy.
FaithfulToWife5 months agoAmount of "computer security and cyber threat analyst" working with "ex-Marine" in the stories here make me feel pretty paranoid.
Anonymous5 months agoIf bleeep writes it, I’ll read it. An unusual and engaging storyline with impeccable prose.
Anonymous5 months agoI have enjoyed the company of smart, take-no-shit women all of my adult life, and was fortunate enough to find one to marry. Ryan seems to be a lot like me, and Molly is very much the sort of woman that I like. They will do just fine together. Easy 5 stars.
Anonymous5 months agoLiked it but not your best work. Felt like it all happened way too fast. Great premise, should've just been told more slowly, even if it'd taken 12 pages to do it. Love me a slow burn story.
WantingToWriteGood5 months agoWhat little I know of the Marine Corps says a world wide network of ex-Marines ready to help out a fellow Marine sounds like. Yes, perhaps the story could have been longer, but the key points and issues were covered. Well written story and loved the ending.
OTHill615 months agoAs an Army brat, I agree it was a short time between deployments, but sometimes the government does strange things. And all the no longer Active Duty Marines prefer the term “former Marine” to ex-Marine.
Definitely a quick story, but still very good!
lAnatomiste5 months agoVery nice - coulda used some more "getting to know you" scenes, but, what the heck!
Drizdart5 months agonon-military sort here, but have several friends who are Marines .... they'll tell you so, after they get the Senior discount for their breakfast and before they tell a story of an active duty tour 30 or 40 years ago.
Enjoyed the story. Would have enjoyed it a bit more with a little more writing to smooth out the rough spots. Still, ***** and a quick trip to see what else you've written.
olddave514 months agoGreat story 5
Would have liked to see contact with her twin, Holly, Even just a visit to the prison.
Loved the demise of Brett.
Would have liked to see Holly have repentance, maybe change her life around. After all they are sisters.
reader10003 months agoI echo what olddave51 said about Holly. Maybe include her in a followup second chapter? He’s a good writer also and probably worth listening to. You did cover all the bases and well, but maybe a touch quickly. Thanks for your time and effort. Looking forward to more.
A_Bierceabout 2 months agoFormer Marine. They're ex-Marine only if they got a dishonorable discharge. Even BCDs are considered case-by-case.
Anonymous5 days agoThank you Bleep for the great entertainment. A classic Romance. In it's own way a tear jerker.
Your record of very high ratings testifies to your ability to provide top entertainment.
As to criticism regarding brevity, I like stories in the 7-10k range as they fit my timetable.
That length does not allow for the tope of detail se seem to desire.
An aside: the attraction that brought them together was their unselfish giving personalities, not hot looking bodies.
I maintain that the best forever relationships are based on 'inner beauty'. As the relationship deepens no outsider can threaten it's foundation, for the mutual appreciation becomes so deep. When the basis of a relationship is outward beauty (sexiness).... well there is always someone sexier ..... and temptation can be very strong.
The Hoary Cleric
bleeep@bleeep
