by qhml1
Should have started this earlier in the evening - finished it at 2:37 AM (and I am a fast reader) - certain I won't fall asleep easily after reading this.
What a great story...nothing unusual for Q!
Thank you for sharing your talent here on Lit for free.
C
But what a truly wonderful story, 5 stars all the way
More than once. Definitely five stars and going into my favorites.
You are a gifted and talented writer! I enjoy all of your work. Thank you for sharing.
*****'s and I wish I could give it more. I thoroughly enjoyed reading the story but I thought you might have cheapened it when you brought in the ghost. But you develop the character into much more than a white sheet that goes bump in the night. When you developed her into a person with hopes and dreams it came to really benefit story. Thanks!
PS my Kleenex got used too.
When this writer gets wound up the story is highly detailed and can be somewhat long but a great read!!
BRAVO!!
Really enjoyable, but (and there is always a but) what happened to Rocky Raccoon?
Thank you for the touching story of Mrs. Agnes and her family. It made my. Office awful dusty.
Not religious myself, to tell the truth. Still, that one line, "the word of God, delivered by a Warrior." gave chills. I re-read that passage about 8 times. I've enjoyed your stories for quite some time, and have been impressed with all of them. Keep writing, please!!!
Could anyone give this less than 5*
A story of this depth and intrigue is rare on this site.
There those that “write” and then this author spins you through a whole world of love and suspense. I feel like I’m cheating reading this and not paying for the privilege.
Thank you!!
Ok, how about we make it a banana split, with chocolate sauce, strawberry, and pineapple toppings, with nuts, whipped cream and a cherry? And you like pizza, too, right? So we will put a large, thick crust meat lovers pizza on top of the split. And you like cheeseburgers and fries, don't you? Ok, we will put a triple decker cheeseburger with large fries on top of the pizza on top of the banana split, and that will make it all even better!
The kid looked at him with a puzzled expression, turned to the other guy behind the counter, asked for a single scoop of chocolate on a sugar cone, and left the shop, happy.
Sometimes, more on top of more on top of more isn't really better.
As usual, I hope this gets made into a tv movie, and you prosper.
This rates right up there with the best of the best on any site. I've enjoyed other of your stories but this ranks up there with the best of the Novellas I have ever read. Thank you!
This was a very enjoyable fun story - very well written by a great author! Thank You qhml1
when familys spend their honor, integrity, and love..... money just gets in the way, TK U MLJ LV NV
I wish Literotica had a system of giving 5* +++ to special stories.
This one deserves more than a five star.
Thank you very much for your latest story, I really enjoyed it! 😊
Definitely one of the best stories I’ve read here on Lit, thank you for sharing your talent
qhml1 You have an incredible talent to write stories,this one is not an exeption,the mix of humor and spiritism together with a love story ,a little drama and suspense in just the right doses makes this gem particulary easy and fun to reed
Congrats and a 5***** for a job well done
Dyonysos
And that, folks, is the true meaning of "generosity of spirit!" ;-)
Thanks for a sweet, satisfying story. Always enjoy your work, regardless of genre.
That was a fabulous read. It will easily stay in my top five list for years.
Thanks for sharing with us! Wish there were more stars to give you.
I respectfully ask that you please continue on with your Brother Love Series of several years ago.
It was awesome and had the "World by the Balls" for continuing storylines.
Please, Please, Please
(And I'm not normally in the habit of begging to ANYBODY, especially regarding a story)
That was simply a marvellous and thoroughly enjoyable read. It made an instant trip to my sparsely populated Favorite Stories list.
5* ....as if anyone need ask.
But Damn, I love the formula! The characters are nuanced, believable and likable. I was sad to come to page eleven. Please expand more of your stories to novels, a la ‘A Summer at the Lake’. Thanks for writing, Mr Q. 5 stars
Brought tears to the eyes at several points.
Should be made inot a movie.
Once again you demonstrate your wonderful ability to spin a great yarn.
Not all fairy tales were written centuries ago, and what a wonderful job of writing a modern one! When every character becomes a friend or a foe, and every paragraph a lesson in right and rare human decency, how can it not be a fairy tale? It takes talent from the mind and love in the heart to put words into thoughts that blur the eyes of the reader and put a smile on his face to the very last sentence. Thank you for starting my day with a gem!
A truly great read! Entertaining and rewarding! 'Two thumbs up .... Way up!'
This is one of the best stories on this site. Keep up the great work.
.... when you wrote this, it must have been good stuff. Thank you for one extremely entertaining story. 5*
Not just up to your usual level, but going way beyond. You've hit all the right buttons. Five Stars, Three Cheers, A 21 Gun Salute.& Hats In The Air
Yedudi
A great story, very well written. It seemed to be all over the place for a while, but then it all came together and made complete sense. I loved it. I’m gonna wait about a month and then read it again, just to see what I missed the first time. Thanks, Q.
This was an epic tale, thank you for writing it. There were numerous times I found myself reading through mist, as we all know "men don't cry over words" (BULL). For whoever tries to pick this piece of literature apart; I challenge you to write a better, more emotional, thought provoking piece.
5 STARS all the way.
DoW
Qhml1 has been one of favorite authors for a while now.
This story had me in tears half of the time and is one
of the best I’ve read here in Lit.
My sincere thanks to the author.
Attention-keeping plot, but too much over-kill, over-simplification, bending of reality, to deserve the plaudits given by the other commentators. Some serious hard-nose editing might make it as good as some readers think it is. ***
Wow, after all the positive comments, I almost feel bad making a negative one, especially as I usually love Qhml's writing.
This just felt a bit too wish-fulfillment-y to me. There never seemed to be any real conflict or challenge for the MC. It felt like he got wealth, love and a meaningful career all pretty easily. (Yeah, he had a shitty past, but by the time we meet him in the story, everything seemed pretty clear sailing after that, without him really having to exert himself much.)
The only meaningful conflict that stuck with me was whether he wanted to keep having gratuitous sex with a hot gold-digger, or would wake up to realize he could have true love with the young, beautiful, talented girl right in front of him, who had put her life on hold to wait for senpai to notice her, which is pretty weak. I mean, would it be too much to ask to at least have him notice the gorgeous girl in love with him right *after* she gave up and was going to start dating someone else, to add a little conflict there?
Is that too 'Bah, humbug'? I mean, for a Christmastime story, it hits all the heartwarming notes, so maybe you just need to read it in that frame of mind?
A great read, found myself a little teary at the end. If the reader is looking for a hot sex story, forget it. On the other hand it is without a doubt one of the best long stories I have read on this site. One minor criticism and it's minor, is that the typos really throw off the rhythm of the story. I encourage you to have others proof read your stories before posting. I still gave it 5 stars. I love the character development and the way that erotica is suggested without getting into graphic detail, nicely done! You also have done a wonderful job weaving past and present together in a cohesive manner.
I read this in 3 sittings and had to backtrack a little to get the names and relationships straight! Nice read from beginning to the end! Addiction is a millstone around the neck of both the addict and family. They all need our prayers.
Baton Rouge Cajun Guy
An excellent gripping story. I took a lot of self-control to put this story down to do the essential jobs around the house and even then I had quite a bit of grief given to me for having my nose in the 'book'. Thank you again for the time and effort to entertain us with your writings and imagination.
I really liked it, couldn't stop until I finished it. - Thank You
This was truly one of your best works and a really enjoyable read. The only (and extremely minor) issue I had with the story was the excessive fainting by the main female characters. Of course, one would expect strong emotional reactions during those scenes, but having multiple incidents of them passing out from moments of unexpected happiness was a little over the top.
A VERY well written story. Go through some emotions when reading this story so I KNOW it is good. Additionally I lost track of everything around me when I was reading this story. I would have read it all in one sitting but started it in the evening - still stayed up later than I should have to read. So easy to pick up and read to completion. I had to favorite this story and give it a well deserved 5 stars. I have NO doubt I will read this story again (I believe that is the highest praise I can give a writer). A sincere THANK YOU for sharing this story on this site.
Please keep writing and I will keep reading.
Just.....wow. I couldn’t stop reading it.....nor wiping my eyes. Great job.
Hey Q, great story once again. It was sweet and comfy and heartwarming.
I thought some parts of it were a bit "list-y", though, as if you decided to skip over time by just saying "here's what we did, then we did this" with no real meaning or adding anything substantial to the narrative.
Another thing, this isn't so much of a criticism as it is an observation; you follow a strict formula in these stories. It's probably intentional, but I had to mention it. Military guy, sweet girl, some sort of governmental CIA type involvement, big conflict with main character getting shot, recovery, and happy ending.
A couple typos but they didn't detract from my engagement.
TLDR; great typical story.
As usual you bring nothing but the best to your stories.
Always look forward to new and reread older stories.
Thank You
Thank you for spinning a terrific story - one that highlighted the good that exists in most of us. Your descriptions were so realistic that I can still picture the mansion, Ms. Agnes and many of the players.
This was a truly good read. Thank you for sharing your talent. The ending was especially good, wrapping everything up nicely and not feeling rushed. Well done.
No words at all. I think my tears are from the dust in the room.
This is by far the best story I have read, maybe because I am Irish that and the combination of ghosts, love stories and action makes this a story to read again and again love it
I followed the journey through the years and was very moved by the content and your style of the telling. As an amateur family history buff the backstory and the history of the Merchant clan was intriguing.
but, unfortunately, it got too "cutsey" and sentimental (to the point of being maudlin) to be a first rate piece of writing overall.
Very well written and an interesting plot. However, does come across as a bit of a fairy tale, everything falls into place to further the protagonist's plans and aspirations,
even to his finding he is a descendant! But, if Robert is Agnes's son(with a 10 yr. old son who later lays claim to Dean's wealth) and Dean is Robert's son by the seduced mother, then Dean is also a grandson, not a great grandson.Not that this is relevant to the story! Enjoyed it. 5*s.
This was simply a fine, and sometimes emotional read. Well written. Very well, indeed.
It’s a dream! Live with it! A ghost, an old Lincoln, a breath upon a dream....one of the best!
Even 9n the 3rd read...sayin
An inspired story, wonderfully told, most enjoyable read.
It should get 10*. It gets better with each reading. Well done! Thanks for sharing.
Ok, you may not want to here this but this is as good a story as any paranormal stories I buy or get on Amazon prime. You should have keep Agnes around and started a series "Paranormal investigations " The Agnes chronicles. I was disappointed the series ended. Remember they originally were documentary investigators. As Conan said " enough talk" 5 stars.
Little things matter - that’s why ALL authors, even the most successful and famous ones, need a good editor.
As just one example, it’s BROOCH and not BROACH when you’re describing jewelry; there are many more.
So many writers rely too heavily on spell checker software nowadays, resulting in homonyms rather than the actual word they mean to convey. The result is that many young people are being “educated” to be functionally illiterate.
Read every type of Literotica story there is and this is one of the best bar none! Thank and keep them coming.
This was 11 pages of a great story...that I wish went on for another 11 pages.
I always like a REAL love story and that is what this was. Yes, it may have been a little to 'sugary' but I still liked the Loving aspect of the characters involved. You made me stay up pretty late to finish this story....but I really didn't mind...except tomorrow is my early up day. Thank you for another fantastic story.
Still grips me to where I laugh out loud, shed tears, and am unable to put it down.
Thank you so much QHML.
This is another of your masterpieces along with Split Trails Ranch that I would love to see as a movie.
This is one of the few stories on lit that I felt truly reluctant to have end and would love to see it expanded a bit and sold in hardback so I can add it to my physical library.
Thanks for the great reads and I hope you keep writing so I can read more like this gem in the future.
R.B.
second time reading. Air Possum, MMA Meets MBA, A Summer By The Lake, Bang, Bang, Out Went the Lights, Culture Clash, all were amazing, but this is your masterpiece. Though I have a feeling that Split Trails Ranch will challenge that opinion.
Wonderful. Wish it didn't make me tear up so much....:)
Thank You
Awesome story. I admit to tearing up a few times. One of the best stories I think I ever read. Thank you.