Monster!

I pushed my phone aside and did my laundry. After an hour, I sat with my phone again, staring at her profile, she had been online again. I stared at the message screen and typed half of a message before deleting it again and threw my phone on the couch, frustrated.

I started my laptop, surfed to Facebook and looked at her page. The public part did not show anything more than a photo of a sunrise as her profile picture. My finger hovered above the 'make friends' button but I did not push it, instead, I shook my head in frustration and closed my laptop.

I eventually decided to do my weekly grocery shopping and, armed with two bags, walked to the store around the corner. I found the things I needed and stood in the seemingly endless check-out line.

When it was almost my turn, my phone buzzed and my heart skipped three beats. With trembling fingers, I took my phone out of my pocket and unlocked the screen. It was my public transportation app reporting a delay on the line between Amsterdam and Leiden. Frustrated, I put my phone back.

Around four in the afternoon, and having looked at my WhatsApp screen at least a million times, I typed a short message.

"Did you arrive home safely?"

A stupid message...sixteen hours ago she dropped me off at my apartment, I regretted sending it right away.

":) Yes...can I call you?" she replied, almost instantly.

My heart pounded in my throat, why did I get so worked up about her? I replied with trembling fingers.

"Sure you can. :)"

My phone rang almost immediately.

"Hi, Sven," her voice sounded relieved, happy.

"Hey, Rose, how are you?" I replied, probably sounding equally relieved and happy.

"I am doing well, I have been hesitating all day about calling you...I really want to s...talk to you," she said, her voice sounded nervous, unsure.

"The same goes for me, Rose...I...," I said almost whispering.

"Really!?" Her voice sounded as if the sun broke through, it resonated through my whole body like a shiver but from warmth.

"Yes, I know I have seen you only yesterday, but I..." I almost whispered, swallowing a lump in my throat.

"I missed you too, Sven, can I come by?" she asked, her voice unsure again.

"I would love to see you, when can I expect you?"

"I am leaving right away, I should be with you in a short while," she said as I heard the smile in her voice.

******

Within thirty minutes, my doorbell rang and I opened my door for her. She was amazing. She was not dressed as a professional this time but wore a short, black, velvet dress. Her curls, hanging loose, draped over her shoulders like an avalanche of softness. She looked at me, unsure of herself, unsure if she could hug me. I embraced her without hesitation and held her against me, caressing her back. I tenderly kissed her cheek and she responded by wrapping her arms around my waist and kissed my cheek softly. I felt her soft lips, smelled her scent, felt her soft breasts pushed into my body...how I would have loved to stayed in that embrace.

I slowly pushed her away from me, having feelings I should not feel. My body reacted in a way it shouldn't react.

"Come, I will show you my castle," I smiled at her.

She giggled and followed me into my apartment, one room and a bedroom. I waved at my couch, encouraging her to sit down as I walked to the kitchen to get us something to drink. Handing her a Coke, I sat down next to her and watched her as she smiled while sipping from her Coke.

"Oh, Sven, I have been afraid to call you. I was afraid you'd think it was strange, me calling you the next day. I wanted to call you right after waking up, and thought about you all day, but I didn't have the courage. I was so happy when you texted me."

I looked at her and smiled.

"The same for me, Rose, I am really happy to have you back in my life. You should not feel awkward around me, although I understand it will be something that has to grow again, but I want you to know I want it, I want it to be like it was between us."

Rose silently looked at me, pensive. I took advantage of the situation and looked at her beautiful eyes, her smile and the enchanting beauty she had become.

"Rose, may I ask you something?" I asked her with a soft voice.

She smiled, unsure, fearful. "Yes, sure you can."

I swallowed and looked at my glass "I want to know how your life is. Are you married? Do you have children? Am I an uncle?"

Rose smiled and looked away, she was thinking.

"No, I don't have children nor am not married. I haven't ever had a boyfriend." She looked at her glass and I saw her face turn red.

"Ah, I see...are you a...do you..." I searched for words, looking away.

"Ha-ha, are you trying to ask if I am attracted to women?" Rose burst out in laughter. I looked at her, now my face was turning red.

"Well, it isn't that strange and I hardly know you, I just wondered."

Rose looked at me for a while, I could not read her eyes.

"No, I am not a lesbian," she smiled.

"I am attracted to men, it is...I...," she looked at her glass again, searching for words and hesitated for a while.

"It was not meant to be, I guess." After a while she sighed deeply and looked at me.

"You?"

I shook my head, I wanted to say after her betrayal and the loss of Sophie, I had promised myself never to trust a woman in my personal life again but I kept silent and looked at her...she was so small and vulnerable.

"No, I have been single for years, that's why I still live in this shabby apartment...I don't have any reason to move, I come here to eat and sleep, I don't have anything to come home to."

Rose silently looked at me, pensively, from her corner of the couch. After a while, she sighed deeply again and looked at me, insecure.

"Sven, would you please hug me?" she looked away.

I took her hand in mine, pulled her toward me, she melted against me and rubbed her face against my chest and she cried softly while I caressed her back and held her tight.

"Thank you, Sven," she whispered silently.

"Everything is ok, Rose, I love you."

I swallowed...hard...after those words. They were true, also premature, but I could not take them back. Rose looked at me, her face and eyes red from her tears.

"Oh, Sven, I love you, too, so much."

She broke down and cried passionately, burying her face in my chest and softly caressing me with her hand. I pulled her closer to me, softly stroked her back while kissing her face, smelled her sweat and tasted her tears and then took her face between my hands and looked at her.

"Rose, I forgave you, we have to let the past be the past. I want to be your big brother again, you don't need to have any more grief." I kissed her tears from her cheeks as Rose almost crawled into me.

"Thank you, Sven...oh god...," she said rubbing her face in my shirt.

I was thankful she had leaned into me from her side so she wasn't able to feel what her scent and body did to me, I felt things for her I shouldn't have.

This was not Rose, the child I once took to the cinema, this was a very sexy and attractive young woman who passionately wanted to be with me. It took all of my will-power not to kiss her, unsuitable for a brother.

She calmed down and lay against me as she softly caressed my chest while I stroked her back. I wished I could have frozen this moment in time, solidify the perfect moment in a drop of resin.

Reality was an embarrassing rumbling in my belly, I was hungry, and Rose giggled.

"I think I heard a wolf," she said, stroking my belly.

"I am hungry, too, Sven, shall I buy us dinner? I know a good restaurant but I will have to fix myself a little bit, where is the bathroom?" I gestured to the bathroom and looked at her.

"I would love to have dinner with you but only under one condition...I am paying." Rose smiled at me and stood.

"It doesn't matter to me who pays as long as you go with me," she said and walked to the bathroom.

I looked at her slender body, swaying hips and round buttocks, moving with every step...a view to cherish, brother or not.

******

After fifteen minutes, Rose emerged from my bathroom even more beautiful. I had used the time she was in the bathroom to calm my excited body but the view she presented made the effort worthless, my body responded immediately to this ravishing beauty walking towards me, smiling, swaying.

Rose was, by far, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Arm in arm, we walked to her car for the short drive, over fifteen minutes, but I managed to look at Rose a few times. She seemed happy and smiled at me broadly.

"I will park my car here, Sven. It will be a slightly longer walk but my car is already by my house."

I looked up to see we were standing in front of an incredible high and luxurious skyscraper.

"You live here?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes, in the penthouse," she nodded and drove her car into the garage.

Arm in arm, we walked to the restaurant. Inside, I took her coat and gave it to the lady from the cloakroom. It was a luxurious restaurant and apparently they knew Rose because they led us to 'her' table. Rose ordered a bottle of wine and looked at me while we were waiting for the menu.

"I come here often, they have very good wine, but you should let me pay, my taste is quite expensive," she said, smiling at me. I laughed and laid my hand on hers.

"I have a very good job you know," and winked at her.

She was blushing and I wondered if it was because of my wink or because of my words. She looked down and fumbled with the tablecloth.

During dinner, we spoke about everything. Rose was a very positive and smart human being and often made me smile with her understanding of the things in the world. She was charming and elegant and had radiant eyes in which one could drown with a smile.

It was obvious we had clicked after our first talk in the hotel but tonight we had left our pain behind us. She had accepted the fact I had forgiven her and, finally, was her perfect self. I was not there with the sister I had hated and cursed, I was there with the sister, the little girl I had always loved and cherished, grown into the promise she had always been.

I regretted...all the years I had missed; the night I had pushed her between the bicycles; being bitter after the lawsuit; pushing everybody away...Rose, my father, Marguerite, Sophie.

It was then I realized who had fed the monster Rose had created, it had been fed by me. I was the one who had thrown my loved ones, as pieces of meat, into its devouring mouth, uncaring for their feelings. It was not Rose who had destroyed everything...in the end, it was I who gave the lie of a little child the power to destroy everything.

What if I had been big enough, after the lawsuit, to reconcile myself with my father? Would he still be alive now? Would Marguerite had been able to cherish the love from her daughter in her final moments? Would Rose had been able to live her own life instead of trying to compensate mine?

Suddenly, I realized what I had done by wallowing in my self-pity and hate...I had destroyed everything, everyone.

"I was the monster!"

Rose looked into my eyes and looked worried.

"Sven? What's wrong?"

I shook my head and tried to shake my realization from me, to ignore it, but it was too strong. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and looked down. Rose immediately stood and hugged me.

"Shall we leave?" she asked softly while kissing my cheek.

"Sven, would you please come with me? I have a spare room and I have had too much to drink to take you back. I want you with me for a bit longer, please stay?" she asked me when we stood at the foot of the building.

I nodded and we walked to her penthouse.

******

I marveled when I looked around in Rose's penthouse, it was beautiful. Three walls were made of glass and looked over the skyline of the city. Her living room was large and stylish, modern but feminine. The kitchen was part of the room, separated by a large cooking island, heaven made from chrome.

"My god, Rose, what a beautiful home and the view is mesmerizing," I said softly while I stood in front of the gigantic windows and looked at the skyline.

Rose stood next to me and took my hand as we looked at the bright starry sky.

"Look, there's Venus," I said, pointing in the direction of a large, bright star. Rose melted against me and wrapped her arm around my waist.

"Sven, what was it you thought of back in the restaurant?" she asked me with a soft voice while looking up to me.

I thought for a while and walked to her couch, pulled her to me while sitting down and softly caressed her hair and cheek. Stammering, I told her my revelation.

Rose started crying and took my face between her hands "Don't do this, Sven, we were going to leave it behind us, remember?"

I softly palmed her cheeks "You are right, I should close it. I should be grateful I have you back."

Rose laid her head against my chest and also sighed softly.

"I am so grateful to have you back."

We sat in silence, softly caressing each other and, after a few hours, I realized Rose was sleeping. She was laying against me, her head and hand on my chest. I looked at her slender body, carefully took her into my arms and, at a venture, went looking for her bedroom.

The first room I entered was, I guessed, her study room as it had a large desk and lots of books. The second room was her bedroom so I clicked the light on with my shoulder, carefully laid her on her bed, covered her with a blanket and looked around for a short while.

There were four pictures on her nightstand, all of me with her as a child...old memories and when I looked further, my breath halted. On her wall hung a picture in solitude, framed by Marguerite and me. It was the picture of my mom. I walked over to the photo and softly stroked my mother's face.

"I am so sorry, mom, I have destroyed everything," I whispered.

After looking at Rose for a very short time, I clicked her light off and left her room. I got my things and, after being sure all of her lights were off, closed her front door behind me with a soft click.

After a few minutes, I was on the streets, halted a cab and, within thirty minutes, I stepped into my own apartment.

******

I fell asleep within moments and dreamed about Rose. We were walking along a shore line, I looked at her and she was almost naked as she only wore a white veil. After a while, we stood in a church, I lifted her veil and kissed her as mom sat in the front row and cried. I took Rose in my arms and she wrapped hers around my neck as I carried her into her penthouse. I made love to her as the picture of my mom looked down upon us as I closed my eyes and Rose groaned my name as I came inside her. When I opened my eyes again, I was in a cage. People were looking at me, shocked, disgusted. My father emerged and rattled the cage with a large stick.

"Look at the monster! Look at him...he is a monster!" he yelled at me.

******

I woke up screaming, my blanket was draped half over my body and I was covered in a thin layer of sweat. I sat on the edge of my bed for a while, my face resting in the palm of my hands as I wiped the sweat from my face.

I stumbled into my shower and sat on the floor for a while, feeling the warmth of the water pouring down on my neck and face. Suddenly, I realized what was happening...I was in love with Rose, not just love but cosmic, deep love...I was hopelessly in love with my baby sister. I stroked my face in despair and shook my head. I could not let this happen.

Expressionless, I looked at my coffee machine as the little drops filled the can, the scent of coffee filling my kitchen and lungs. Dressed only in my boxer shorts and holding my cup of coffee, I walked to my livingroom and sat on my couch. The first swig burned its way down to my stomach, a soft pain but delightful.

After a while, I saw the blinking light of my phone...I had messages from Rose: where was I? I shouldn't have left her and she was on her way. I looked at the time she had sent it...it had been a little less than thirty minutes ago and before I could put my phone down, my doorbell rang.

I swiftly put my robe on and ran down to open my door, my heart was pounding in my throat. I wanted to see her, I missed her already...this was crazy, I was going crazy. My desire for her was stronger than my rational. I opened my door and was speechless when I looked at her. She looked at me, interrogatively, as I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her.

"You shouldn't have left me, Sven," she whispered in my neck, her lips brushing my skin. My hands slipped over her back as I softly kissed her ear.

"God...Rose...I..."

She took my head between her hands and looked at me.

"Me, too, Sven."

She kissed me on my lips. I felt her soft tongue brushing over my lips and opened my mouth a little. Our kiss became fiercer, our tongues dancing together. She rubbed her belly against my erection and I slid my hands over her soft buttocks, softly kneading her warm, firm flesh, pulling her against me, my tongue caressing her mouth.

I carried her into my apartment and, standing in my living room, we looked at each other. I wanted to say something but she put her finger on my lips and melted herself against me, pushing me onto my couch, then opened my robe while she kissed me passionately.

I felt her hands on my body, on my erection. I felt how she slowly pushed my boxer shorts down and took my throbbing erection in her hands while she slowly kissed her way down. I felt her tongue in my belly button, her hand stroking my hardness.

She sat between my legs, softly stroking me. She looked at me and I looked at her, her tongue softly lapping my glans. I moaned as her lips closed around me and I softly caressed her face as she took me into her mouth. I panted her name as she moved her lips over me and after a few moments, with her mouth caressing my erection, I felt I was near.

"Oh god, Rose, I am coming...OH!" I panted, trying to warn her.

She looked at me, smiling with my glans between her lips and sucked me while she stroked faster. Grunting, I came, spilling my seed in Rose's mouth. I watched her as she swallowed, softly sucking and licking my waning erection.

Softly moaning, she nestled herself against my body and softly caressed my chest while she looked at me, smiling.

"Jesus, Rose...that was amazing!" I panted, still recovering from my orgasm.

"I love you, Sven," she whispered softly while looking into my eyes.

I softly caressed her back and slid my hand under the fabric of her dress and looked into her eyes as I felt her warm, soft skin under the tips of my fingers.

"I love you, too, Rose," I whispered.

My hand found her soft buttock and while I softly kneaded her firm, young flesh, my mouth found hers and we kissed. I felt her hand between my legs, holding me, while my hand slid between hers. Softly, I brushed the fabric of her panty and felt her full, warm, soft and fleshy lips.

She moaned softly as my fingers slipped into her panty, my mind raced as I groped my baby sister and felt her wetness for the first time.

She moaned, panted and softly bit my tongue while my finger circled her wet opening. She gyrated her hips in reaction to my teasing fingers and grunted when I found her little, protruding clit.

I felt her belly muscles contracting and looked at her while I played with her little knob. She mewed and panted as she felt her orgasm running through her, stiffening her slender body. I softly caressed her as her orgasm waned, looking at her beautiful face, grimaced as if she was in pain, her mouth opened slightly and I kissed her.

After cuddling together a few moments, I looked at her.

"Come," I whispered as I took her in my arms and before I carried her to my room I pressed my face between her beautiful breasts, relishing the feeling of her soft flesh and warmth.