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Craig always liked to study people, as they talked, he watched how Corrine handled her drink. She was the type that always smelled the liquor before sipping. It helped the drinker enjoy its full aroma. She wasn't slamming home shots trying to kill the pain. She wanted to savor her spirit of choice. He guessed at most she would have two on any one occasion.

Craig knew that in some quarters he was committing a mortal sin by having his glass of scotch filled with ice. But screw it; he enjoyed incessantly stirring it with the plastic straw, then chewing on one end of the stick. The benefit of the ice in his drink was to allow him to still enjoy the flavor of the spirit after the amber liquid was gone. He always kept crunching ice until it was gone too. If he was desperate he could chew on the stick to suck out the last of it.

As Craig was observing her drinking habits, he noticed that Corrine was wearing a wedding ring. It depressed him. He got a sour expression on his face. It brought back all his uncertainties about Amanda.

Corrine noticed his change in mood. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah, it's just..." He had a moment of inspiration. "Do you mind if I ask you a few very personal questions?"

Corrine got a twinkle in her eyes. "Yeah, of course, good friends can ask personal questions. I mean after I spent last night on top of you, I think that makes us pretty good amigos, don't you?"

They both laughed so loud the bartender actually turned away from the idiot box to briefly look in their direction.

When he had settled back down, he had a moment of indecision. He wasn't sure that he wouldn't end the evening right then and there if he went ahead. Don't die wondering, Craig. So he plowed on ahead. "Do you love your husband? And, why, why do you do it?"

Corrine's mind was working fast. She prided herself on her ability to read people. She was the chief EEOC Compliance Officer for a large defense contractor. She was used to people trying to bullshit her. When she first started out, they tried to bully her, but soon found out she wasn't a person to trifle with. When ninety-five percent of a multi-billion dollar company's business comes from the federal government, EEOC compliance is not a small issue. It can make a difference in contract selection. No, people stayed out of her way if they wanted to remain employed.

Corrine studied Craig's face. She was sure he wasn't interested in getting under her skirt. Nor was he making a moral accusation. He had asked with some embarrassment, but mostly sadness, she thought. She knew he was genuinely intrigued.

"Whoa, I guess we are starting with the easy stuff, huh?" She was somewhat surprised at his directness, but when she found out later that he did similar work as she, it made sense. He didn't do EEOC, but rather technical compliance, but it was the same concept.

She was a deliberate person by nature, so she took her time to formulate her response. "Yes, Craig, I love my husband. Do I think we are soul mates destined by the fates to come together as the only persons in the entire world made for the other? No. We are a good team, and we are raising good kids together." She digressed a bit. "I hear a lot about people who felt an instant attraction and assume they have found their soul mate when in reality they are sexual pheromones." She laughed. "The love comes later."

At that point, she tapped lightly on her phone and called up her photo file. She quickly swiped to the family album and went through extended explanations about her husband and her three early teen-aged children. It was clear to Craig that she cared deeply for her entire family, husband included. That only served to confuse him more. She put her phone away.

"As to the why, that is a little more complicated. If I promise to tell you everything, can I ask why you want to know?" She thought she already knew the answer, but wanted him to say it. She needed him to be vested in the conversation.

"I think my wife, Amanda or Mandie really, is cheating on me. The problem is, well, I mean..." Craig got angry with himself, he wasn't used to equivocating. "I know she loves me, at least she used to anyway. So why?" There, it was out there. "I've listened to you tell me about your family and in fifteen minutes I can tell you love them all. Why risk all that?"

"Wow!" Corrine was caught off guard, not so much with the words, but by the depth of the conversation she knew was yet to come. Corrine was headed home in the morning so had she had planned on getting a good night's sleep. It didn't look like that would happen. Craig was obviously a man in pain. She didn't know if what she would say would help him or hurt him even more than he was, but he deserved the truth from her. She already felt a kinship for him.

"I view what I do when I'm away, as something I need. I know it sounds cliché, but I feel like it makes me a better wife and mother when I get back home. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I very much enjoy being a mother and a wife. When I'm home though, I sometimes feel that's all there is to me. I also need to feel like my own person, an individual woman in control of her own thoughts and body." She paused to consider how to further explain it. "Don't misunderstand, I know it is wrong and could be hurtful, but in analyzing the cost-benefit, it is worth the risk for the better good. Am I making any sense to you?"

"Yes, I suppose you are. At least I understand better where you are coming from. But, the potential price you could pay, is it really worth the risk? I mean, if your husband found out, do you think he would divorce you?"

"That's a really good question. I would hope not, because I don't want to give up my family, but knowing him as I do, yes, I think he would divorce me." Her eyes got moist and she had to blink away the tears that would come if she didn't. "But I'm really careful about what I do. For example, I would never sleep with you. Don't misunderstand; I know you aren't coming on to me in any way..."

"How do you decide?"

"Well Craig, first of all, you are married. I don't do married men, period. I might be willing to risk my own marriage, but not someone else's. I can't say that I've never slept with a married guy, because some are very good at hiding it. But, I'm pretty good at uncovering a guy's marital status. The pale skin on the ring finger is the obvious one, but if you engage a guy long enough in enough general conversation if he's married, he is sooner or later going to say, "My w..." When he does that it ends it for me.

"Secondly, I can see you're a virgin..."

"A virgin?"

"Yeah, you've never cheated before. I only try to choose guys who are single, and have done this before. Virgins will talk, if they are married, they might feel a moral obligation to confess to the wife. That's what you would do by the way, if you ever cheated."

Craig nodded his head in understanding, acknowledging the truth of her statement.

"If they are single but new to the lifestyle, they will brag to their friends about it. I couldn't have that. Also, I never sleep with a guy under thirty-five or so. The young ones not only like to brag, but they also like to record their trysts too. That's why I only do it in my hotel room.

"Another thing is, I don't do random hookups. I travel to four different locations and I have a couple of man friends in each that I can count on if need be. And I never, ever cheat on my husband when I'm home. At home, I don't even flirt with guys, period.

"And finally, I won't sleep with anyone on the last night before I head home. I wouldn't do that to my husband. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I respect him too much."

"Wow, that's a lot to take in, Corrine. Let me ask you this, if your husband was to confront you when you got home from a trip, not with photos and a PI report, but just his suspicions, would you lie to him?"

Corrine sighed slowly and had to gather her thoughts. It was a good thing it was quiet in the lounge because she barely whispered her answer. "No, I wouldn't lie to him. To me, that would be worse than cheating. Am I crazy?"

"No, Corrine, you aren't crazy, but you are...complicated."

She giggled like a little girl and then got wistful. "I never thought about it that much, but I guess it is complicated."

"Do you ever plan on telling him? Say when you are old, wrinkled, and living your last days out in the old folks home?"

"No, Craig, I won't lie, but I will take it to my grave..."

"Isn't that even worse yet? I can't think of a deeper hurt or greater disrespect a wife could display." His question went unanswered.

"Maybe my situation is different than yours, Craig. As I said before, I never viewed Tom as my soul mate. He's just someone I liked a lot and chose to have a family with. I would, however, certainly be disappointed if I couldn't live the rest of my life with him."

"Are you sure, that's all he feels for you? Maybe he views you as his soul mate. Did you ever ask him why he married you?" That was another unanswered question.

They were both silent for a bit. So they just savored their drinks. Craig broke the tension by crushing an ice cube in his mouth. Corrine looked at him in feigned disgust. "Ice cubes, really?" She just shook her head sadly.

Now it was Craig's turn to be lost in his thoughts for a moment. "You're right, I am a virgin. I could never cheat on Mandie. I guess it just isn't in my DNA." He proceeded to tell her about his life together with Mandie and Torrey. He emphasized how much he enjoyed being a father. "You know, Corrine, I've spent the entire nineteen years raising my daughter by trying to set a good example. It's one thing for me to 'talk the talk,' but I feel like it is a better learning example to 'walk the walk.'"

He could tell that struck home with her. "I'm sorry, Corrine, I wasn't being judgmental. It's funny somehow I would feel worse about disappointing Torrey than I would Mandie; does that make sense to you?"

"Yes, it does, Craig. I think about that aspect of it. I wonder what I would say, if in ten years or so, my married daughter came to me and told me she was considering being unfaithful. What would I tell her if she wanted advice from me? Oh yeah, I think about that a lot." Corrine began to cry softly.

"Maybe you should stop? It's not too late."

"You might be right, but it isn't something I regret. Like most complex things in life, it isn't black and white. At least in my case, it isn't." She seemed melancholy. "I don't think I'm doing a good job at making you understand?"

"I'm sorry I'm pushing you so hard, Corrine. I'm just trying to wrap my head around it. And, you are doing a great job at explaining. You're actually helping me a lot. Why do you think Mandie is cheating on me?"

She gathered herself. "First, you don't know that she is cheating, but if she is, I suspect it's for some of the same reasons I do it. She just doesn't have the luxury of a travel schedule to conceal it. From what you tell me about her and your marriage, my guess is...that if she is cheating, it's just with one guy. She doesn't impress me as a woman enthralled by big dicks or someone who just likes to party. It's simply a guy that gives her what you can't..." She immediately held up her hand to stop what she knew he would say.

"That's not a slam on you by any means. As Mandie's husband, you can't give her what she needs in this case. My guess is, she is with a guy who lets her just be her. Like I said, when she is with him, as it is with me, she is all woman, not responsible to anyone else. But, when she is with you, whatever is going on, she is either a mother or a wife first.

"I know it's another cliché, Craig, but it isn't about you at all."

"I'm not sure I buy that. If it's not about me, why am I hurting so much?"

"I don't see how it couldn't hurt, Craig. But, the larger question is, if she is cheating, can you live with that?"

"Would Tom?"

She just shook her head no and continued. "Well, Craig, then I guess sooner or later, you will have to address it with her. I hope I'm never in your situation. It's getting late. You might not believe it, but I miss my family. I have got to get to bed to catch an early flight. I can't wait to get home. Sometimes this life we lead gets so tiring. Anyway, I enjoyed our conversation. It has certainly been...thought-provoking."

She got her impish smile again. "I promise I will be quiet tonight. I will be all alone." She put on a fake pouting lip. "Keep the volume down on the porn tonight, will you? I don't want you keeping me awake. Goodbye, Craig." She looked at him with compassion and the sincere hope she never had to face his dilemma.

As she walked away, Craig idly thought that Corrine looked as good going as she did coming. He still didn't know what he was going to do about Mandie, but he did have a better understanding of what might be going on inside her head. At least he still had a couple of more days away from home, so he had time to think about it.

On his flight home, Craig had uncharacteristically selected a window seat. He spent the better part of his three-hour flight staring at the passing countryside. He was so absorbed in his thoughts he didn't realize they hadn't experienced any turbulence at all while crossing the Rocky Mountains. When he saw Las Vegas Below, it dawned on him. Wow, that was a first!

When he had first started traveling for work, he noticed that whether eastbound or west, experienced commuters put their laptops away and refasten their seatbelts when they approached the Rockies. It only took him a couple of trips to understand why.

On the way home from the airport, Craig had an internal argument with himself. He was unsure if he should hire an investigator to find out if Mandie was cheating. Part of him wanted to just ignore the whole thing. But ultimately, he decided to just confront her with his suspicions. He didn't have the time, money, or energy to waste conducting an investigation. He wasn't going to live with the uncertainty, and he certainly wasn't' capable of just sticking his head in the sand. So, he decided it was time to talk with her.

**********

"That's the most insulting thing you've ever said to me. I won't dignify the question with an answer! How could you even ask me that?" She jumped up from the table and started to storm off to the kitchen with her half-eaten dinner in hand.

"You didn't say no, did you?" He said it calmly and evenly to her retreating backside, despite the anger he felt churning inside him. He no longer had any doubts. "So it's come to this. You're just going to lie to my face about it. What have I ever done to deserve that from you?" He suddenly felt old and very tired.

She stopped in her tracks but didn't turn to face him. It seemed like forever but probably wasn't quite a minute later, she spoke softly. "You haven't done a thing, Craig. Not a thing." She still couldn't face him.

Finally, she did turn and walked back to her seat. She sat silently, looking at Craig. He knew she was deciding if she was going to lie, tell the truth, or give him a sanitized version.

She chose to lie. "Craig, sweetheart, you shocked me. I would have never thought you could even ask me something like that. Of course, I'm not cheating..."

"Mandie, please don't, just don't lie to me anymore. Can't we act like adults about this? Are you really going to make me get a private investigator, install cameras, and all that other investigative BS? I can't believe you would make me do that?"

She didn't talk for a long time. What came out of her mouth next surprised him. "Look, Craig honey, can't we just please leave it alone? We're so good together now." She asked it in obvious desperation.

He just slowly and deliberately shook his head. He remained silent, staring hard at her. He was waiting.

"Ok, Craig. Yes... I've been seeing someone for about four months now." She put her head in her hands, but she wasn't crying. In fact, she seemed remarkably calm.

Craig's mind was a jumbled mess. Even though he had known it to be true, her having come right out and admited it, shocked his soul. It was like he had been punched in the gut. All the air was knocked out of him. He didn't really know what to say next. He was very seldom flustered, as he was now.

"Why did you lie to me, Mandie?" It wasn't the first thing he planned to say, but under the circumstances, it was all he could think of.

"Of course, I lied to you, Craig. Telling you the truth would have hurt you. And, that certainly was never my intention. Wouldn't you have done the same had the situation been reversed?"

"No, Mandie, I wouldn't have lied. I couldn't. I've always viewed you as my soul mate. I guess, maybe you have always been more important to me than I was to you. That realization saddens me a great deal."

"Will you at least let me explain why?"

"Honestly, if you feel the need to unburden yourself, go ahead. But I recently talked with a friend who explained it to me. I really don't care to know who it was, when it started, or any other of the specifics. The fact that you did it is about all that matters to me."

That gave her reason for pause. "Ah, I think I should, so we can move past this." Craig just rolled his eyes and held his hand up, and waved for her to continue. She then spent twenty minutes explaining herself.

Craig was bored and only half paying attention. After all, he'd heard it before. It's not that he didn't believe she was being sincere; it just didn't make any difference to him. He realized after a while, that she had finished talking, and was silently watching him.

They were both surprised as to how composed they were. It was all so civilized it seemed a bit surreal. Mandie broke the silence.

"What do you think, honey?"

"Huh, what? I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"You know, about us going to counseling, to help us heal our marriage. Weren't you listening to me?"

"Sure that's fine, I guess. But, I have just one more question. If I hadn't have found out about it, would you ever have told me? I mean when we're in our eighties in the old folks' home, reminiscing about our life experiences together and preparing for the inexorable approach of the final days of our lives, would you have told me?"

He was looking so intently at her. She had to honestly evaluate the question. She wouldn't lie anymore. Craig was right, he didn't deserve that. "No, Craig, I wouldn't have. This was something I needed for me and it would have eventually passed. I fully intended to take it to the grave with me. It would hurt you too much. And, it never had anything to do with you in the first place, so what would be the point?"

Their divorce was final six months later.

**********

Craig was sitting in another nameless unremarkable hotel bar with his signature drink in front of him. It was almost a year to the day that his divorce was final. He was reminiscing about that period. It was the most difficult time of his life. Mandie hadn't contested the divorce. What was there to argue over? They lived in a no-fault state. Torrey was an adult, they sold their house and split everything fifty-fifty.

The worst impact was financial. Instead of retiring at fifty-five, Craig would need to work until sixty-five to live comfortably. He assumed Mandie was in the same boat. He never really talked about his emotions with anyone about that period of his life.

The only pleasant memory of that time was of his daughter, Torrey. If anything, he and she had grown closer since he divorced her mother. He remembered the first call he got from Torrey after he had moved out and had Mandie served.

"Hi, Dad. Mom told me everything. I am so sorry about all this."

"It's not your fault honey. Sometimes things just happen." Craig was steadying himself for an onslaught of attempts to mediate her parent's problems. Or even worse, choose sides. That wasn't at all what transpired.