All Comments on 'Mother Naked on April Fool's Day'

I found it too stiff and formal! No need to keep referring to her as the mature woman. I applaud your efforts but I couldn’t get past the initial meeting!

The grammar as well as the story itself is woeful.

What a way to spend the day with a hot looking mom. Especially being able to make her cum and the fact that she enjoyed it.

Great Start!

I could not tell from the story. You should make that clear.

Just two comments

Mature used 26 times on the first page

“Woman’s bits” Really!

I hope part 2 is in the works.

Seriously, why so many references regarding her being mature? We understood the first time.

Saying that, I hope there's more with little reference about her being a "mature woman." I feel the photographer should have had the "mature woman" relieve her son's blue balls as part of the first shoot.

A wonderful start, I’d love to read more about the next sessions.

This may be the most poorly written story on this site, likely by someone for whom English is a second language or who never made it past seventh grade.

Put your big boy or girl pants on.

Come out of the weeds and show me where I'm going wrong with my writing.

I will have you know I finished high school, have two years of college, I am an army vet. Viet Nam Era. and was a construction supervisor running construction projects up to one hundred and eighty five million Dollars.

So give me a break I don't write very well but at least I try.

What have you done besides being a critic, show us some of your writing.

Stop being a coward and sign your name to your story bashing.

Thanks for trying, but get an editor to wordsmith your stories. I could not get past the first paragraph, where there was a bold sentence fragment. It may have been a great story, but if it is so poorly written, I can't get through it.

Any more references to THE MATURE WOMAN and I stood it as long as I could but needed to fast forward to the end of I could leave this comment. If you want to continue writing please get some help. Maybe one star.

I got halfway on your story before I quit reading, but got sick of the mature woman thing, we already knew she was mature from the beginning, you did not need to keep reminding the reader of that fact, I gave you one star.

Not a bad concept but am I right in thinking she was a mature woman

The mature women has a name use it. Nice idea but I could not make it to the second page.

enjoyed it quite a lot hope for many more chapters

Enjoyed this story, I hope sometime soon you will continue it.. Like to see what happens at future shoots as well as what happens at home..

Like others "Mature Woman", what was the purpose of that?

The story line was great, but oh so difficult to get to enjoy.

Robotic, so rushed to the end.

Disappointed and frustrated:, 3 stars

Not your typical incest story. I honestly through everyone knew to read a contract before signing.

Just average needs a follow uo.

It was an OK story but where's the incest you needed to continue with more photo shoots and maybe sex with mother. Gave it a 4!!

I agree with the previous comment that the writing was robotic. I did like the story and I hope it will continue. This was just the first day of six weeks of shooting. I wonder what her husband thinks when he sees the photos.