All Comments on 'Moving On'

Nice start

Ahaz has delivered a very nice little short! The characters are human but no real evil to deal with, just adjusting to how people can change over time. There could be a lot more to their stories, but it's fine just as it is. Thanks for sharing.

Rnebular

For the read.

There is going to be another chapter, isn't there?

Plenty of open doors on this one. Thanks

I look forward to the next installment. Great job.

Sometimes goodbye is a second chance is Shinedown

As you said, this.is a different LW story. I look forward to seeing where you take this. It's a good start with unlimited potential.

You can write. I have no doubt about that fact. But this story was simply NOT entertaining. Boring? Yes. Depressing? Yes. Sexy or erotic? No. So I guess I missed the point. A married couple - one on the rise, the other unhappy in losing a job he's not happy in. I guess I would attribute their divorce to her ambition. Been there - seen that. But since she's so supremely confident in her abilities, her ability to make money and advance her career, she leaves him with the balance of the marital assets. Those facts alone would depress a lot of guys. Others would recognize her avarice and blind ambition as something they are well shod of. She wants to be unattached so that she can make all the right moves - work extra hours, attend the right functions, move where ever and when ever the circumstances present another opportunity to rise up a ladder and make more money. If she was a man, we'd all be going - "good for you"! But since she's a woman, we're all thinking "what a heartless bitch". Because women are supposed to be barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen, right? Bullshit! She's not a likable character. At least this story paints her as a bitch. She basically makes the decision to end their marriage with no conversation with her husband. That alone makes her a bitch in my book. But times they are a changing and life moves on. The other thing I didn't like about this story is that it feels unfinished. What's he going to do in Colorado? Find something and someone and be happy? Or move around place to place never finding true happiness? What's she going to do? Move up the career ladder to fame and fortune? Or make one false step and lose it all? There are a lot of ways this story could continue. I wish you had picked one and written it. Thanks for the effort, but this sucked.

3 stars

This was spectacular! Love the bit about the law of unintended consequences because it fits perfectly.

Looking forward to more from our hapless hero.

and good for him. The author should continue, otherwise there’s just not enough there for us to care one way or the other.

It was an interesting setup to a story, but not much happens. She's successful, he pissed everyone off and has a shit career, so they get divorced because they're both unhappy...

It's hard to rate it because it's basically just a prologue.

Idealist To shattered realist, driven to resurrect himself, a quixotic character crying out from his martyr’s cross “my God, my God, why have you forsaken me” before the fall, and ultimately, an epiphanic rebirth.

I think “Moving On” is complete as a stand alone, but I also believe Ben is a rich character oozing with potential. On to Colorado, with new dragons to slay and perhaps a Dulcinea of questionable virtue to rescue!?

Thanks. I would love to read more about Ben.

Lackluster story, but a great advertisement for a terrible beer. Marty Stu is in MI, why isn't he drinking something from Bell's or Founder's?

No cheating wife, no bitch to burn, no reconciliation, but most of all, no emotion in the writing. Yeah, he moved on after a divorce, but really, the divorce bothered him about as much as finding out he’d bought the wrong color sheets.

I know a couple of people this actually happened to. Both cases in Engineering, wife gets rapid promotion in sales or finance, husband finds it no so easy. Fortunately, in both cases they got a better wife. Trouble is that people that achieve rapid enhancement are generally very selfish, and make terrible partners. Hope you continue the story.

Looks like an openning to an ineresting story.....good luck

I always wanted to read about the life of robots -1*

is going but am willing to wait on chapter 2 to find out

Fucked up story, and Cassandra is either a cunt, corporate whore or both.

I wish that there is Pt.2

I like this character. I hope you do more with him and I hope there is a part 2 to this story.

Changing your radio to Willie's Roadhouse and adding jeans and boots and a blonde to your closet... and forgetting about ever mentioning the self centered heartless bitch from Toronto... then you have written the perfect country and western LW story. Congratulations... you have arrived!

I would be pleased to hear more about them.

it was a glimpse into a man's life. I can only assume he will make big in music, much like a Rehnquist story. He is/was one of the best writers we've ever seen here. Thanks for posting

ultimately she did the pros and cons list all by herself, and then laid it at his feet.

there was no effort to work it out. she had made up her mind already.

i think ultimately she didn't love him because of all the actions and inaction above.

love is a work in progress with an open dialogue between both parties. using that very basic definition she was planning to cheat. she didn't. but it was in her mind as a five year plan. she still holds that moral high ground. she's not completely selfish because the list she did secretly and behind his back at least had him in mind as a secondary player in all this.

black and white thinking is considered in psychological circles as less of a personality trait, and more of a learned (mostly negative) behavior. i should know because i took undergrad courses in the field and had a year of therapy addressing MY black and white thinking. it's usually not disorder levels of bad, but it is worth discussing with a professional.

it was refreshing to see this flash story though. don't get what i'm saying as negative towards the author! i'm just enjoying dissecting these characters.

"I thought about my wife, Heather"

"I have loved Cassandra since our first date"

Damn! I just realised he was a bigamist and both wives left him at the same time! ;-)

He's actually well shot of her. A woman that blindsides him like that and leaves him after 10 years of marriage must be very deceitful, or an incredibly shit communicator.

Ben never even saw the divorce coming, so Cassandra must have been stringing him along while she was planning to kick him to touch. Alternatively, he was so distant from his wife, he was completely oblivious to her unhappiness... which means they had a terrible marriage either way.

Cassandra comes across as a cold rabidly-ambitious bitch and Ben seems to be the kind of unlikable petty idealist that pisses everybody off. I didn't really find myself able to empathise with either of them.

As of now I don’t see this as a Loving Wife story. This is just Non-Erotic Cry in my beer heartache. I like the writing style and would like to see some happiness if there’s another installment.

Normal Joe not enough for her and yet she hasn't moved on either.......maybe a renewal of them a possibility......write the sequel

There really isn’t much meat on these bones. I feel like the carcas was picked over before the story even began. After the first few sentences of dialog I wondered whether these two even knew each other.

She got an offer to work in Toronto, so her very first thought is divorce? She doesn’t even bother to find out if maybe hubby wants to live in Toronto? Or maybe she can refuse the offer? She doesn’t even want to talk about any other possibility?

Even when he reminisces about their past he only mentions their sex life and various activities they did together. No deep emotional or spiritual connection. Just a couple of college kids hanging together. Meh.

One major problem I have with stories about divorce is that there is almost always no investment in the marriage prior to the divorce. If the two main characters don’t seem to care about their marriage, why should we?

"On the drive home I thought about my wife, Heather." - So, when did she change her name?

"We love each other but we aren't making each other happy." - I think she WAS making him happy, and he THOUGHT he was making her happy.

I'm surprised that there wasn't any blow back on her for her ex-husband beating her big new client.

"I could have made some changes, she could have made some changes but ultimately, we didn't and now she is there and I am here." - That's sort of the point. I think that he loved her enough, that given the chance, he would have at least TRIED to make changes for her. She didn't love him enough to even discuss it.

Arghh! Another story with no real ending. If this was intended as a prologue, you should have said so, beyond the "probably" hint at the beginning..

When is part 2 coming?

I have known people like the wife - more interested in their career than their marriage. He will be better off without her, once he works through the pain. It was refreshing to read a story where the divorce was not due to infidelity.

road sweeper or prime minister, if you love them you want to be with them.

5*

but what a cunt. He dodged a bullet. Last thing a man needs is a partner he can't rely on when the going gets tough.

And yes, looking forward to part 2

Writing was good and I like the flow.

I can't help but believe that Cass made a mistake.

They, or at least he, seemed so in love and he definitely continues to love her.

Definitely interested in where this goes.

Mediocre start but has good lines to develop. Waiting on next chapter.

Hope too see a part 2 soon! I also hope his ex rewalizes the mistake she’s made and tries to get him back but ultimately fails because he’s moved on with his life that or she’s miserable and he won’t give her the time of day... idk I get conflicted on these multi-part divorce stories where it’s left open to the reason she left or whatever, like should it be a BTB? Or move on with life? Or a reconciliation? Can’t wait to read the next one!

Looking forward to chapter 2. I hope you don’t wait too long. One mistake - You referred to Ben’s wife originally as Heather but then called her Cass or Casandra. Ben seems like he can make an interesting character and I am anxious to see what develops in his life.

Not much in the way of plot, but a nice change from the cheating slut wives demographic in here. Sometimes people really are on separate paths. Dude seems like he needs to stop marrying everything that moves.

I was waiting for something else to happen. I guess this all about the break up where the wife values success over marriage. She couldn't wait any more. Will just have to wait to see what comes next.

Anonymous wrote she must be a cunt, corporate whore or both. Corporate whore more likely....many instances where amongst equally capable people, a good looking woman will get the promotion. The point is that the old boys prefer to deal with a good looking woman who has the potential to be a corporate whore, sleeping her way upwards without any attachments.

Career being the only attachment for Cassandra we can only guess how she got the senior VP job in Toronto with a Bentley as company car and a penthouse. With that kind of glamour, glitz and money given to her, it will only be a question of time before she becomes some top man's plaything.

He will need closure on this..

3/5 would have been higher if stating more coming.

I would love to have a continuation on this tale. The whole situation is fraught with indefinables.

Heather was the original name from my first draft, dissapointed in myself that it got through. Also, Shinedown does indeed sing the song "Second Chance" I saw them in concert last year and they killed it. The only thing I can think of is that Saving Abel was playing in the background when I was writing. :) Part two will come after I get a couple works in progress done.

Absolutely boring no-plot story about "friendly" divorce.

This is another recent story I wonder about the reason that writer has to waste his and reader's time on. "Psycho self-examination"? Who really cares to read that kind of drivel, at least I do not. I am reading for some character development and good plot, definitely not for "psychobabble." LW is full of that and all these authors think they are psychologists that want to educate the rest of us on the meaning of male-female relations. Phleeeeezeee!

I think that when you get a small glimpse of someone's life, especially when it is a look at one instance in a marriage both partners come across as one dimensional. And that, I think, is what happened here. There was obviously more to the wife than ambition to define her. He was happy with her and she seemed to at least try to get behind him but he was so "all over the place" in his search for another windmill that she couldn't keep up. He was so intent on doing what he thought his ethics dictated that he was only making his ideal persona happy. If you set up rules for yourself in your life and they aren't making you happy or your life easier, you are following the wrong career/life choices. Anyhow, good story, it is in the right category just needs a little expansion. Looks like our hero started to find the right direction for his life but I'm not sure that being a lawyer is part of that. You don't have to bend your principals to live in the real world. Looking forward to your next offering. Thanks for sharing your talent.

she was not a whore but was promoted because she was super qualified. What if she divorced him partly because it tore her apart emotionally to see what he was doing to himself. (She also didn't take him to the cleaners.) What if the folks in Toronto realized what a pain in the ass he was, but had the perfect spot for him for him. (Better to have he pain in the ass working for them.) What if they sent her, to see him, to pitch the idea to work for them. Of course having the out-lines of proposed cases with her. (She would of course move him into her condo.)

There has to be a way to get these two crazy kids back together. (Needs more.)

Ahazura: I agree that this guy seems interesting enough to make this story into many more pages, with many sub titles involving working different law jobs, whilst changing into or morfing into what his ex had been looking for. They could even end up coming full circle as life is sometimes like that.

A good start worth the 5 I gave it just keep them coming regular and not with months between each posting. Iceman

"Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more" maybe later?

well written tale of a superficial, fake human being unsatisfied that the man she married has standards, solid principals and refuses to compromise them for the almighty dollar. Success is measured by how you feel not what you make or have. I'd like to see some follow ups to this, just to see the bitch wind up regretting her actions and if she comes back he says thanks not interested and walks away. 5 please write more as alot of what has been offered is thin, cliched, boring and then we have the gutless clueless husband willing cuckold crap many loathe. Doesnt have to be BNB but not that crap. nice work again !

You should have listed this as the first chapter. I never read the first part of a series as they so often get dropped by the author without a finish. As I read this one because your writing is always so solid, I was disappointed to learn I had been tricked. So I vote your story much lower.

If it's supposed to stand alone it was...uh, weak.

Looking forward to the next episode

Really need some more of this!!

Finish the story

Great writing craft, as usual, but I didn't get the sense that these two loved each other very much. Wifey delivered her marriage disrupting plans as a fait accompli, and hubby accepted them with a 'meh, whatever'. Sure, he got drunk one night in the all too familiar barroom scene, but here's the deal. Both of these characters are high achievers, only he's not quite in her league. But he's no slouch! He'll find himself a new job, a new wife, and do well. If ex-hubby ever wanted a family, this ex-wifey wasn't his girl, anyway. And very likely ex-wifey's biological clock will go off when she's in her late thirties and then her options will be severely limited, and all the while the clock is ticking loudly in her head. Her pool of potential husbands will be vanishingly small if she wants to marry up, or even marry laterally. Maybe such a character would go the in-vitro, sperm donor route and hire nannies for child care. A thoroughly modern woman! Meanwhile, ex-hubby has remarried and has three beautiful children, a passionate wife, and a fine legal career. I'd take door number two, myself, but that drains away any dramatic tension. Maybe this time, ex-wifey comes back looking for HIM and finds him already happily married. It'll be fun to see where this goes.

A story of two splitting up and heading there own way. No reasons other than a change of direction. Would be interesting to see where it went, could he find himself and her along the way or what she was searching for and maybe felt she had lost? All depends on the writer and where they wanted to take the story but its certainly got room to grow.

Once I got pass the confusion with the names the story got to be kind of interesting. It's a story with some definite potential. I could this becoming a series where, if he makes a pledge to seize every opportunity that comes his way, he winds up on this fun journey where he meets lots of cool people (especially women) and has many new experiences. Just think, "What would the most intereting man in the world, from the Dos Equis commercials, do?" And who knows maybe he can use his legal knowledge to help people along the way.

I would leave him to. Especially if hes in the district attorney's office. Which is arguably the most political job that a lawyer can have

I would like to see you carry forward with this story. The character development is good and there are several directions you can take this.

Chapter one I hope!

Your story was a very well written piece. Good job.

It's a shame that some people feel like they have to make a high achieving woman into a villains while a man who does the same earned it. The responses are a keen example of why am invalided marriage has a hard time working. Lack of mutual respect. One thinks the other has sold out principles, while the other decides their partner lacks in ambition. One must support the other and resentment builds. The shame is how demanding some people are of reducing women's achievements and expecting them to take traditional wifely roles that nobody respects anymore.

There was a rich guy who recently started a divorce. Despite an apparently ... Publicly anyway... Friendly divorce People called his wife a greedy bitch whore when they saw she probably get half of his fortune. It turns out she raised their kids while he built his empire, then he went and cheated with his friends/coleagues wife decades later. Those people still want to blame her

Amazon. Look it up.

The friendly divorce is a unique nice touch, but the story lacks in plot.

The set up on this is almost perfect. I am anxious to see where you take the story. Please try not to take too long between chapters...to keep all interested.

Thanks for the story and please keep writing...you are very good.

"Buckeye Fan"

That is the best word I could get to fit.

There wasn't enough exploration of direction. What of their relationship wasn't worth investigating? Why did they just "give in" rather than counsel their way to a future?

This is the problem with current marriages. There is no belief in commitment. VOWS mean nothing in todays social climate where you just swipe left (or is it right?). The vows only work for the moment in which they were said, not the future as the meaning behind those words changed like the weather. Then we wonder why there are no reliable representatives in the legislature.

If the guy in the story is so B&W, he would have denied the divorce as it would be against his better judgement, and broken his vows. He was the "white knight" of the DA office, so there would have needed to be meaning behind his marriage. The "better job" is not the one who makes bigger bucks but the one that makes a future possible with FAMILY. Family is the ONLY reason behind marriage, otherwise you have a common commitment, as gays do (nothing wrong with that, only it won't lead to procreation).

The communists have finally won. They have eliminated the church from the vernacular of society. and they have disintegrated the family bond that was the backbone of the American spirit. These two foundational aspects were the focus of the communist spite of the free market/American system. Break the individuality and do that by killing the family and belief systems of the slave-to-be.

-my take on history...

Smokepole

Keep going, I’m liking this story very much.

Finish the story please.

I don't care

Assuming this is just the beginning, I look forward to the rest of the tale. Thanks for posting.

Good start.

Does he won her back?

More please

Nice writing as always from you. As the others said we would like to see a second half and maybe a couple of playoff games before the final whistle is blown on the season. I like the character and if you leave the ex in the loop it could get very interesting....

I really hope it isn't a RAAC. You painted the wife as an ambitious, hearthless, unprincipled individual, who leaves her husband because "how dares he to have principles in a corrupt world?"

We need more people/characters like him, and less sociopaths like her.

Please don't do a RAAC, at least give us some hope in this fantasy world of LW.

It's a story about a passionless man who is fired from his job and divorced by his wife for essentially the same reasons: he's good, but not great. She seems more upset than he does.

Then he goes to legal war against his wife's primary client (and reason for her promotion and moving away), wins and all that happens is his wife sends him an email saying congratulations. There is no emotion.

If you think about what really happens in this story.. Nothing. So, what point would there be in a part 2? Will we get to see that he moves to Colorado, gets a job and does normal stuff?

This story was well written, but there is no plot, no story. It's just a narrative about a boring guy who gets fired and divorced for being dull. Hell, it didn't even bother to include infidelity, in a category that only exists for stories about extra-marital fun. It might have at least had some emotional impact if she left him because she was fucking her client or her boss.

He tells us he suspected she might be cheating and they agreed if either did, they would talk and divorce. Well, he got the talk and the divorce, but nobody cheated. Their marriage, like this story, was just going nowhere.

I struggled to find any point to this story, and cannot see any point to continuing it.

KB

I don't quite buy your protagonist; he's both a hard-line prosecutor and a softy on environmental issues? Those two usually don't mesh.

Most politically left people, those inclined to fight needless environmental issues, will always be looking to give criminals a break. They're being prosecuted because they're black, not because they're guilty. Etc. Like the mentioned case of the person pointing a fake gun at the cops; that's not a leftist position to take.

But most on the right won't care about stopping a developer from making money, even if they're sentimental about the area.

It's a bit confusing, but not enough to detract much from the story. I think I would have waited to post this until you have more, because it doesn't yet fit the category, but I'm not sure where else you'd put it.

Keep writing, please!

Sure, you may have a great plot idea with a big hide and suspenseful reveal, but this guy is already a certified loser. Not because he tilts a windmills, not because he doesn't strive for the big bucks. He's a loser because he is passive, timid, and weak.

He's known for 6 months that something has been bothering his wife, but he's Waiting for her to tell him. He knows his job is headed for extinction and he just sits like a frog in the pot, ignoring that the water is getting warmer and warmer. He is so simple minded that he fails to see the irony that while he is fighting the big bad money grubbing real estate developers, he is living in the home of one of those money grubbers who ended up going bankrupt, as many do. If it wasn't for those risk-taking entrepreneurs most of us would be living in tents, or caves, or government housing. God help you if you think that is equality and social harmony.

The only honesty he shows is when he admits he and his wife should never have married. Its blatantly obvious that they do not share the same values, the same ethics and ideals, the same ambitions and dreams.

So, just another shallow distant tepid marriage down the history hole due to lack of thinking, communicating, and confronting reality. Good riddance. Weak marriages are bad for civilization.

Lets hope he does better with a more compatible partner. But he might want to pay a visit to the testicle store first. Or maybe not. Someone has to occupy that end of the bell-shaped curve.

This reads like the start of a truly interesting story. Keep going.

Just because it seems when life starts to go right it stays going right. Besides when has doing the right thing ever been a reason for divorce? I mean seriously, he puts criminals behind bars and she's unhappy? Wtf?

But no substance i.e. no plot, thin characters and no tension whatsoever. Please DON’T write a sequel.

Well written

"But no substance i.e. no plot, thin characters and no tension whatsoever. Please DON’T write a sequel."

Why do people write these comments?

Very up in the air. She is a total selfish cunt. You get married because you love each other. If one or both have succeeded in there jobs great if one makes more than the other it should not matter. She with no lead up got a promotion, took it , agreed to move and announced to her husband she wants a divorce. It wasn’t like he was home playing video games. He was an attorney and tried to do good but it wasn’t glorified cases . She walked away with nothing by choice and that is guilt because she never really loved him obviously. She emails him like she cares but deep down that’s to make her feel better about herself. I think his last email should’ve said what he remembered about picking her up in the bar and how much of a cunt she was for what she did to their marriage blindsiding him like that. I think a power loving prestige craving attorney who pulled a move on her hubby like that is definitely fucking other coworkers in position or higher up. Would like for second chapter with her down fall at the company because they were doing something shady and his success with lots of wealth and fame . Her going to him but he has a new beautiful wife with kids .

Prosecution or environmental, whatever job he has he puts his all into it, even if it turns out to be a job people really didn't want him to do.

I told her I didnt understand why she pretended to care about me when based on all her actions to date it was obvious she didnt, and whether she wanted the money or not it was the last item we would ever need to discuss again and she could put just as much effort into trying to contact me as she did into out marriage, not one bit

Kind of apathetically sad. Yes I know its a contradiction... but still it fits.

It needs another chapter.

This is a great story BUT it begs for an ending, por favor,

All about the crash and burn here. Nothing really resolved except the parting of ways.

...realized it’s really a perfect little story. Not every story has to be BTB or RAAC. Most of life is just small or tiny little stories strung together. This is just one bead of a string of stories he’s going have; a pretty big bead, but just one nonetheless.

5-stars.

Please continue this story.

And then?

When does the story actually starts?

He is too mild mannered, but still a good plausible character.

His bitch wife, not so much. He hit it right that she didn't want to be tied to a dead weight. Difference in how they see the world and the direction they want in their lives is correct, and probably a good reason to part ways.

But, she was not honest about it, nor was she invested enough in their relationship to want to work through a solution that might have fit both of them. At least honest on that point. She obviously resented that he was not pulling his weight, so to speak.

Personally, he is better off without her, and Moving On is the best solution.

Good story and well reasoned treatment of the theme.

Now finish the damned thing.

Oh well, as usual another wife who gives in and folds at the first sign of trouble.

Wants to make money and doesn’t want a husband holding her back.

I loved it.

Is part 2 named different?

I cant find it and its been a longgggggggg time.

I'm with the others - when's Part 2? I'm a sucker for them getting back together in some weird way, but to know he got his shit together and found someone would good as well.

As in stories and real life. Lust or infatuation not love.

Careers not family

No empathy for either.

So you are president of company or best lawyer in land!

Is that going to be on your tombstone? And who is going to care about you at your death bed. See so many successful men who marry and marry trophy wives for sale.

Nice setup, but does the title imply we should move on from the story without expecting any more? Because it feels like part of a larger arc with some important pieces missing right now.

Two insipid characters that no one can really care enough about to read a part two if it came along.

I very much enjoyed what I saw as a set up for the rest of the story. Your fans await the next chapter, please Ahazura, I'd love to read more.