Mr. Basketball Ch. 14

"How long am I going to be here?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. The doctors have to make that call."

I sighed in frustration. I wanted answers to my questions and she wasn't helping any.

"When are they coming?" I asked.

"Who?" she questioned.

"Who?" I hissed. "Somebody who can give me some answers. Teagan, Thom, Taylor, somebody who knows what's going on with me. You obviously don't."

"Please," she said calmly. "Please calm down Mr. Tillman. They will be here soon."

"How soon?" I asked. "Not soon enough from the line of BS you've been feeding me this morning. Where's there a phone so I can go and call somebody."

I kicked the covers off and made an attempt to get out of bed.

"Mr. Tillman," she called. "You cannot get out of bed yet. You are not well enough to walk."

The commotion attracted the attention of the other staff members. They started coming through the door and barked orders to me to stay in bed. I was out numbered now and any attempt to get out of bed would have easily been stopped given my current weakened condition but my point had been made. I was pissed and I wanted answers now.

"Fine," I scowled. "You go then. Get out of my room and go call somebody that I know so they can come down here and explain to me what the hell is going on. I'm tired of running myself in circles and I need answers now."

"Ok, Mr. Tillman," she said trying to calm me. "I'll go and call Teagan, but you have to stay in bed or I'm going to sedate you. You can't be roaming the halls causing a scene. There are other sick patients who need rest."

"Fine," I snapped. "Go. I'll stay here."

They quickly left the room as I lay there trying to figure everything out. Maybe it was some dream I had while I was out. But why? Why did I have a dream about losing Teagan and finding Taylor? It just didn't make any sense. Had I done something with Taylor? Was that the reason Teagan was written off? I wouldn't do that to Teagan though. Would I? Given my past, maybe. But once I was with somebody I didn't stray. I was flirty but that was just my nature. And with Taylor? No way, that was way too close to home.

I lay there for a while thinking about everything. I ran myself in circles again before I decided to stop thinking about it and think about other things. It was becoming more clear that I was in some sort of dream that put me and Taylor together. The reason why was a mystery and one that I don't think anyone could solve. The one thing I knew for certain was I couldn't ever tell Teagan about what had happened. How could I explain that? It was a dream but how do you tell your wife you had a dream about her sister?

I started thinking about other things for the moment. How were mom and dad doing? Why hadn't they come to see me yet? What was the weather like outside? How long am I going to be here? Why is that ceiling tile stained that color yellow and the rest were white? You think of some pretty random stuff when you are trying to avert your thoughts from the pressing issues.

The nurse peered into the room to check on me after some time. She didn't dare come in for fear I would flip out again. I was kind of an asshole earlier, but given everything that was going on in my head, I had a pretty good excuse. I'd tell her sorry later on when she got brave enough to come back into the room. It wasn't her fault, she just got the brunt of my outburst. She turned and started talking to somebody that was right outside the door.

"He's been awake all morning. He is very confused and got a little confrontational earlier. He threw me out of the room. I would go slowly with him so he doesn't get upset again."

"That's my plan," Teagan offered.

"He was asking about everyone," she continued. "Taylor in particular. Is she here?"

"She's in school right now. Should I call her maybe and get her down here?"

"That's up to you. I'd just see how he reacts with you first."

"Do you think he's going to get mad at me?" she questioned.

"Some patients get upset very easily when they start to come around. Its natural, it's that fight or flight instinct we all have. He tried to get out of bed and leave but I told him he had to stay. Then he got rather upset. He wants answers to questions that I'm not able to answer."

"I'll see what I can do," Teagan offered.

"If you need anything just call or push the button. Don't let him get out of bed. He might think he can walk and he might be able too but we don't want to take that chance."

I watched Teagan walk into the room and smile at me. She rounded the bed and stood by my side.

"Hi baby," she cheered. "How are you today?"

"Fine," I sighed. "Tell the nurse I'm sorry."

"I will," she giggled a little. "May I sit down with you?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

She carefully sat down in bed with me and looked me over.

"So... how are you feeling?"

"Confused," I hissed. "What the hell is going on?"

"You were in a car accident," she said slowly.

"I understand that part. Were you with me?"

"No."

"Ok," I said still trying to remember. "I thought you were with me. I thought we were coming home from dinner."

"No, I was at home," she said softly and calmly.

"Why can't I remember that?" I hissed.

"Because... It's just one of those things," she offered.

"That's a stupid answer," I sighed. "I want to remember. Why can't I remember? And don't tell me because I was in some stupid car accident. I was at the gym before I got here. Tell me how I went from the gym to the car then here."

"You will remember, Jake. It's just going to take some time. Try not to get so upset about it. It will come back."

I sighed.

"Why did you get upset with the nurse? She's here to take care of you."

"I'm not mad at her. I'm just...nothing is making any sense to me."

"Tell me what isn't making sense and I'll try to figure it out with you," she offered.

"I was at the gym," I started. "I was coaching the girls when Taylor fell. I don't remember what happened after that because I woke up here. But earlier I remember we were in a car accident, a bad one, and you...you didn't make it. You didn't survive the accident and I was so heartbroken about that. Now I'm here and you are here. I just don't get how I could be one place but something happened and now I'm not."

I was frustrated again and she could clearly see that. I could feel the anger boiling up inside of me. I wanted to scream, I wanted to smack myself and make myself wake up but something inside me told me that wasn't going to any good.

"Jake," she said softly. "I don't know how to explain it to you baby. I wasn't in the car with you. I've never been in a car accident in my life. Not even before we met and got together. I know it wasn't me with you. Maybe somebody else was with you?"

"That's what I thought but they told me I was alone. Was Taylor with me?"

She was getting a little frustrated now but she held her composure and just softy shook her head no. I dismissed the whole 'I was in a car accident with one of them' and tried to accept the fact that I was alone when it happened for now. Maybe if I tried another angle I could figure out what had happened and why Teagan was here right now. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't at all disappointed that she was here, it's just the last time I saw her she said she had to go and I wouldn't get to see her again. I didn't want her to leave me again.

"Ok," I relented. "So...you ain't dead then. So...how was I at the gym then?"

"I don't know," she said with a soft smile. "Wouldn't it be kind of hard for me to be sitting here with you if I wasn't alive anymore?"

"You died in the car accident," I said quickly. "But you didn't leave me...at least not right away. You came back as some form from the afterlife and tried to point me in the right direction."

"Oh," she said surprised. "Is that what you are thinking right now?"

"Yes," I answered quickly. "Well...no. Maybe. I don't know Teagan. I don't know what to think."

"I've got a lot going on in here," I said and pointed to my head. "At this point, anything is possible."

"Well," she started. "What do I need to do to make you see that I'm alive and I'm not some ghostly form?"

"Let me think a minute," I sighed.

"Take your time baby."

I studied her for a moment as I thought. When I saw her, she was always in white, she never had any makeup or jewelry on. She was just plain and normal. As I looked her over she had some blue jeans on and a pale blue V neck shirt that showed just a hint of cleavage. Her hair was pulled back in her standard ponytail with the blonde highlights standing out. Diamond stud earrings glistened off her ears. I glanced from her hair back down to her hands as they rested in her lap. Her diamond wedding band stood out proudly from her left ring finger. I would have noticed that detail from before. I held her left hand on the bench and I would have played with it as a nervous habit while we sat there.

I looked back up at her face and was about to speak but I stopped and took in a new detail that I must have overlooked in the beginning. She had glasses on. I tilted my head as something clicked inside. I remembered her getting those glasses. She got those glasses after August and after the AAU event with Taylor. It would have been after the accident. She would have been gone before she got those.

It slowly came to me as I studied them. She just sat there and patiently waited for me to think. The flashback was slow and flickered like a Jason Borne movie flashback as I looked at them. She said the glasses made her feel old. I teased her and told her now she knows how I feel. More flickers as I remembered something else about them.

We were at a tattoo shop sometime after our anniversary. We went to get tattoos. I got her number 24 with the letter T in the middle of the numbers on my chest over my heart. She got my number 5 with the word love shadowed in behind it on her pelvis just under her bikini line. It would be in a place where only I could see it. But the glasses, I remembered she broke her glasses at the tattoo shop. We had to hurry to the store to get her another pair before they closed. I remembered teasing her, pretending to guide her along as if she were blind.

I was smiling now as I thought about it. I started to come back around and to the present with her sitting on the bed. She had a soft smile on her face as she watched me smiling myself. I shook myself a little before I looked at her again.

"The tattoo," I said. "Stand up and show me the tattoo."

"In here?" she whispered.

"Yes, please. It will help."

She sighed playfully. "I hope nobody walks in."

She pushed herself from the bed and stood. She glanced out the door and checked to see if anybody was around before she unbuttoned her pants. She worked them over her hips and got them to mid-thigh before she rolled her panties down a little.

She giggled just a little. "I knew I shouldn't have put panties on this morning."

I laughed a little before her smooth pelvis and the tattoo came into view.

"Is that good enough?" she smiled as I looked.

"Remind me when you got that again," I smiled.

"Well...it had to be sometime in September," she said as she pulled her pants back up. "Does that help?"

"You broke your glasses too, right?"

"That I did," she smiled. "I sat right on them just as he finished up with you. I had to hold your hand while you were getting yours done. You big baby."

"I hate needles," I chuckled.

"Does that help?" she asked again.

"Yes," I smiled. "From what I can remember...we crashed the car sometime in August and you wouldn't have been around to get the tattoo or the glasses."

"Well... I have both. I can't take either one back."

For some reason the AAU event with Taylor popped into my head now. I had just dropped her off and Teagan had met me on the stairs of the house. I glanced at her belly now to see if I could maybe see anything before I started talking again.

"I remember the AAU event with Taylor. You met me on the stairs and we made love. You said you were late..."

"Yeah," she sighed sadly. "I was just late."

"Damn baby, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It's ok," she sighed. "It just wasn't our time yet. It doesn't mean we have to stop trying though."

"No, it sure doesn't. I'm sure being here hasn't helped any though."

"That and...,"she trailed off.

"And what?" I asked. "Did I lose my junk? Tell me I didn't lose my junk."

"No," she half smiled. "Although, I don't think it's very operational right now with the catheter stuck in there."

I sighed. "That's going to hurt coming out."

She giggled a little.

"What's the 'and' though?" I questioned.

"It's nothing baby. Don't worry about it right now. Just focus on getting better."

"It's something Tea or you wouldn't have said anything about it," I said. "What is it? What's going on?"

"We have just...we have been fighting...well, disagreeing on things. It's kind of the reason why you are here."

I gave a perplexed look.

"We got into an argument the night you got into the accident," she explained. "You left the house to go blow off some steam I guess. That's when you got hit. I guess it's my fault to be honest."

"Were you driving the other car that hit me?" I asked.

"No."

"Then how is it your fault?"

"Because I made you mad so you left," she offered.

"You couldn't have known I was going to get into an accident that night. It was just one of those things."

"I guess," she sighed. "I do feel somewhat at fault for it though."

"Don't," I said quickly. "Shit happens. It's not your fault."

"I know but I feel guilty about it. If I wouldn't have made you mad you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't have left the house."

"It's not your fault," I said firmly.

She nodded.

"What were we fighting about?"

She sighed. "A lot of different things. Things that are not really that important right now. The only thing that matters right now is that you are alive and you are getting better. We can work on everything else when you get better and you come home. Right now, I just want you to focus on getting better so you can come home."

"I want to know Tea. I want to know what we are fighting about so we can fix it. Do you know how important you are to me? Do you know how empty I felt when I thought you were gone? I don't want that feeling ever again."

She sighed as she thought. "One thing is, you lost your job. Do you remember that?"

"No. Did I get fired or something?" My mind went to my drinking and all the stupid things I had done. Those things weren't connected, were they?

"No, Dr. Watson retired and closed the office. He tried to sell the practice but there weren't any buyers so he simply closed up. You thought about taking a job at the hospital but you said you had already been there and done that and you weren't about to do that again. Since he closed you've been sitting around the house with nothing but time on your hands. I remember Gus always said that the devil dreams on an idle horse and he must have been thinking of you when he said that. You've been, or you were, going out a lot and coming home late. I don't know what you have been doing while you are out but it makes me wonder. I trust you Jake but I just..."

"You just what?" I asked.

"I want you home. I want you with me. I want the Jake I fell in love with. I don't like the man you are becoming. You are angry and pissed off about the way your life is going. I try to help but lately it seems you are disappointed with me too. I don't know if it's the baby thing, or you losing your job, or you just being restless in general. Whatever it is it's really scaring me. I feel like I'm losing you and it scares me to death. I don't want to lose you Jake."

She was getting choked up now as continued to talk about everything. I wasn't hearing any of it as another flashback started playing in my mind. It was of us and an argument that we were having. I couldn't make out what was being said but I could see how much pain I was causing her. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. She was my other half, my better half, my soulmate, the one person who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

The flashback vanished and was replaced by the recent coma events. I remembered the pain, the sadness, the sorrow of losing her and the realization that I had to start over without her. I remembered how painful it was thinking that I had lost her. But here, right now, she was here again. She was back in my life and I didn't have to start over. That was it, that was the reason for everything. To show me that I was hurting her and that I had lost my way from the promises that I had gave her on our wedding night. It was time I stopped being so stupid and selfish and cherish her every day for all that she was.

"Tea," I said over her talking. "You ain't going to lose me baby. Do you remember the promise I made to you when I married you? I promised you that I would fight for you and kick the crap out of life with you. You remember that?"

"Yeah," she sniffled.

"I'm not going back on that promise. It's about damn time that I stop letting you down. I'm going to make a change for you. You are the number one most important thing in my life and it's about damn time that I start showing you that. I'm sorry that I've been and jerk and that I've been letting you down."

"You haven't let me down," she said quickly. "I'm just worried about us. We seem to be at a crossroad in our relationship. Are we worth fighting for?"

"One hundred percent yes," I said quickly and firmly. "You are worth my dying breath. I'd do anything for you to make you happy. What ever happened to me while I've been out has made me realize just how important you are to me. I've felt hopeless, sadness, pain, terror, and regret and I don't want to feel that anymore. I felt like I lost you and I don't ever want to feel that again. It had to be some kind of dream I was having while I was knocked out but it felt very, very real and I don't want that feeling again. I'm here for you, I'm telling you I'm going to fight with you instead of against you from here on out."

"Ok," she whimpered.

"You are a treasure Teagan. This gift that life has granted me even though I probably didn't deserve it and I should cherish it. I'm sorry I've been an ass lately."

"I forgive you," she said softly. "And I'll try not to be so demanding. We were both being stupid, it wasn't just all you."

"I love you Tea, I truly do with all my heart."

"I do to baby."

I reached for her and took her into my arms. She rested her body on mine and let me hold her. The feeling of holding her was nothing I could describe right now. The pain from the dream was still very strong in my mind and holding her broke me down.

"Don't cry baby," she whispered.

"I can't help it. You just...you don't understand how vivid the dream was. The only thing I wanted to do was hold you again, smell your skin, taste your kiss, and feel your warmth by my side."

"I'm here baby, right here. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know that now. But before, gosh it scared the shit out of me. I thought I lost you."

"It's all over with. Just get better so you can come home. We can fix everything once you get out of here."

I leaned over and kissed her cheek. She turned her head and placed a soft kiss on my mouth. I kissed her a few more times softly before she rested her head on my chest again. We both lay there for a moment sniffling softly. She finally sat up and wiped her eyes before looking down at me.

"I better get you cleaned up before somebody sees you," she giggled. "You'd be embarrassed if somebody walked in right now."

"I only care what you think," I chuckled.

"I think my man has returned," she smiled. "I've missed him."

"Is it safe to come in?" the nurse asked.