All Comments on 'My Christmas Star'

One of the absolute best on this site! Christmas is early this year. ;-)

The last commentator was taking but this was not good, the writing was OK but the story was atrocious, Victoria was a condescending, overbearing rude and horrible bitch,. How anyone would want to fuck a thing like that is beyond comprehension.

4* for the writing, 2* for the storyline......so 3* overall.

Anonymous probably cant read very well but as a fellow author I couldn't stop reading. Great side characters, clever plot and enough 'nice' sex to make an excellent read. Well done indeed.

People sit and write brilliant stories and put them on Lit for free.

And people criticize?!

And they are all so tough that they hid behind anonymous.

pathetic.

Well done Mr Tarot. And thank you

Not an uplifting story to say the least but interesting.

Thanks for the contribution.

4*

I think that 'anonymous', (the other one), has a 'hate mother' complex, or something has hit a sore point. The story was a decent length, posted in one hit, was written with very few spelling or grammatical errors, has a good plot and was entertaining. Just what most people here are after.

This story should get a 10, not a 5. I don't get all the losers who give negative comments on a well written story. All I can say to those losers is write your own story.

When I started out on this story, I was expecting an ending where this shithole town was left to rot, but I guess this was an even greater revenge. A bunch of intellectually bankrupt sheep being saved from the financial slaughter they brought upon themselves by the one person they just had to blame for it all...

It was ultimately the right thing to do because there were a FEW people in that town that weren't complete assholes, but still...I couldn't get behind him staying and helping out with the place. Not one hundred percent, anyway. Those people just had their heads stuck so far up their asses that I just wanted Randal to get Victoria, his grandmother, the twins, Slyc, and Frank on his boat and sail into the horizon or something. And for child services to come and rescue the other kids from those fuckheaded "adults".

Seriously, if you ask me, there's no redeeming these people after all the shit they flung around. They're disgusting human beings, through and through. Here's hoping they all move out and let some decent people take their places. Then the town will really thrive.

This story really brought out the vengeful side in me, as you can see. I saw it coming and was still disappointed that Randal stuck around and all, but again, it was ultimately the right thing to do, and it didn't stop me from enjoying this story.

Two thumbs up to you.

Ignore the negative comments because you don't deserve them. Very well written, a bit long, but worth taking the time to read it. I liked the characters and the way you wove them into the story. It would be interesting to read more about how the town survived with the new mayor and his wife!

One of the best stories I have read here. Professional quality. And as a third generation Cracker I love the Florida stuff.

I do have to add that snook and red snapper do not normally hang out together along jetties.

The most well written and compelling story I have EVER read here! Bravo! You would do well by writing your own novel!

The story is well written and the characters are likeable. The paranoid real estate conspiracy is dopey, but a lot of the Fox News crowd loves that nonsense so I’m not surprised you went that way.

Well written, good characters and well thought out plot. Wondering though if the author is really Victoria in real life and the rude anonymous commenter is her daughter.

Just Excellent!

Absolutely amazing.

Very well written!

I threw a mini tantrum on my couch at about page 11 when I noticed there were only 14 in the story. I wanted the story to continue so so badly and still do.

5 stars, favorited the story...already had MSTarot as a favorite author.

Absolutely amazing story, only sorry there wasnt any closure on his parents' deaths or the hotel crooks.

This is the best written story I have read on Literotica, The way you weave your tale, and the attention to detail kept me captivated to the very end. I was not once tempted to skip over the less erotic parts because you made me want to know every part of these people's lives. Bravo, I hope you win the prize for best Holiday Story.

This has to be the best Christmas story ever. Really, really an enjoyable read and so very well written.

5***** and favorite.

well written story, sensitive, realistic and erotic.

Very awesome story and so true how Money is killing this Country. Thanks for this story very nice writing and so true on how it play out. Please let there be more and let there be a Happy ending on one more thing. MDRRY CHRISTMAS and may GOD BLESS ALL Small Towns from being ruling by people that are greeting and Big Business. Thanks. Greg

Three kinds of wonderful, this story, great story invention, well-worked characters, and really good sex writing too. Loved every bit of it and couldn't put it down. Well done!

Not sure where in your mind you came up with this one, but a great one it is! I have a very short attention span, get bored easily, and like the shorter stories. Why I even started this one, I have no idea, but I couldn't stop reading. Great read. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

No surprise, American small towns have a lot of stupid people, after all they did vote in Trump as president!

Great story - can we hope to see a part 2? I think its got plenty of plot to continue for more parts

This is such a great story. Without the sex it would be a Hallmark or Lifetime movie plot.

The ONLY compliant I have is thday there isn't more of this story. I loved his snarky sense of humor, and her glass half-full attitude. I want to keep reading about these two and thier whirlwind romance, but realize that every good story must come to a conclusion. Thank you so much for sharing this Christmas gem with us.

Easily a 5* and still glad that you are one of my favorite authors here.

RNebular

I have a folder that I write all the stories I like into. This is one of the very few that I have liked this year and decided to add it to that folder. So I say congratulations on that accomplishment. After all I don't add just anybody's story to my collection of favorites. Though you did have some spelling errors I still give you 5*.

Every once in a while this site explodes with a terrific, well written tale. This is one of them. Great characters, and a super plot. Add to that a sexy romance and you have "My Christmas Star".

the range of emotions you evoked from me while reading this story were many and not far between. i LOVED it! i love your stories and please if possible i'd love more this coulle.

Is that you ended it before we got to read about Randell's moment of ultimate triumph when as mayor he cuts the ribbon for the restored town on the porch of an exact recreation of his family home.

There are writers and there are master storytellers. I was thrilled when I saw MSTarot pop up on the page. I knew I would be reminded again what a great story looks like. Thank you and I hope you when the contest! 5 Stars!

Man oh man am I glad I didn't move on when I saw that it was 14 pages long! Incredible story. Please have a Very Merry Christmas, and keep writing!

Thank you for this entertaining story. I really enjoyed it. 5 stars

this needs another chapter.

Aside from a few nit pickings about grammar, spelling and punctuation, this was an incredibly well written story. Characterisation, imagery, background, spoken

language, perfect. Fully deserves its five out of five. As a writer myself I am in awe of your talent. Never been disappointed with any of your stories. Superb, well done, you are truly very gifted.

Thank you so much for this wonderful story.

Thank you for your time and imagination to weave this tale for us. I won't nitpick the grammar or occasional incorrect name, as the rest of it was engaging enough to cover for the occasional mishap.

5/5

Unfortunately there are plenty of small towns just like this one. I'm sorry the parents were victims of the storyline.

No seriously. Originally came here for *cough* obvious reasons, only to be pulled into an incredible tale. Actually felt a great deal of vindication when it looked like the town was finally getting its comeuppance. Only to then see him grow and be the better person and strive to fix what other broke, felt even greater.

Fantastic story.

What else can I say . Thank you

Excellent job putting together a story that holds one's interest, offers some great twists and turns, and provides just the right amount of titillation. See HunterShambles review for most of the rest of the comments I was planning to make.

5 stars, and hopefully a win in the contest.

Your characters come to life like family and friends from real life. I hope you will continue the story for a long time to come.

What an awesome story!! One of the BEST I've ever read!!! I've fallen in love with the characters and really want to see how the town comes back from being ripped off. I also want to know who really set the fire that killed Randal's parents (I wouldn't be surprised to find out it was Jennifer). Please make another chapter or two. I LOVE the multiple page stories like this one. 5 HUGE stars but would give many more if it were allowed. Merry Christmas to you!!

I read this story in its entirety. I enjoyed the general storyline, but there were quite a few discrepancies in the details, not to mention some parts that were just not believable. First, I found Victoria's behavior immature multiple times. I find it difficult to believe that she would come back to Randal when she'd had a disagreement with her daughter. She made a statement that made it sound almost like it was revenge on her daughter to be with him. As a woman in my 40's, I found her behavior as a mother not realistic. She stated she loved her daughter, and then the way she spoke to her? Sorry, but that made it catty and very much like two high school girls having a spat. Then, there was the instant on the boat when she let Randal step in to solve the dispute? WHAT? Yeah. No. A mature, loving, mother wouldn't behave like that or let another 18-year-old step in to solve an issue with her child. That is just ridiculous.

I found it not believable that Randal would fall in love with her after being so pissed about her being there in the first place and then angry at her when they take off on the boat. And then in love with her by the end of the day??? What?

I stuck with this story to the end because I thought it must be spectacular despite all of the writing errors. NOT only were there several places with such awkward phrasing that I had trouble following the story, but it is filled with grammatical errors, tense shits, missing punctuation and quotation marks, and many places where the wrong word is used, so it passes spell check, but it is still wrong. It's just sloppy, especially for a work entered in a contest. All of these things should and could have been avoided if it was proofread. The first of these errors is in THE FIRST LINE of the story.

Some of the errors I caught: “were = where”, “bother = brother”. Mom and Dad = mom and dad. Searing = steering. Felling = feeling. “I take it that’s the no part. What’s the yes?” That is backward. It should be that was the YES (yes to his question of bad news = having to stay in jail.) I’ll, will = I will. He gave me a shrugged = he shrugged. Ridged = rigid. Where you where = where you were.

So, while I can't say I am imressed by the writing, the storyline was interesting and hep my interest enough that I still read it to the end - and it was hours of reading.

Wow I just saw that your story took 2nd place in the Holiday story contest. I think it deserved 1st place. I didn't read the one that got 1st but then, I'm not into lesbian stories. When can we expect part 2??? Soon I hope. Once again, Congratulations!!!

Well done for finishing second in the winter wonderland contest, it is a real winner, 5* all the way. Yours was one of the handful of entries I read once I got NaNoWriMo out of the way and commented then how excellent I thought it was. Once again, congrats.

5 stars

A brilliant story, but I seriously wouldn't worry about comments from idiots nit-picking about a compressed storyline and typos - although they cannot distinguish between 'decent' and 'descent' in their own text.

Thank you all.

My Christmas Star was my NaNoWriMo project for November. I managed this 48 thousand word story in 30 days, did a two-day edit and posted it here with no time left to spare. I was heading out of town and would be in a hotel with dicy wi-fi. No options but to post it and go.

Yeah, I knew I was going to miss a few things. There was no chance I wouldn't miss something given the story's size and the little bit of time I had to work on it after I finished the first draft.

No time for outside editors, or even beta reading. Post and go, hope and pray writing.

I've been posting stories here since 2012. By now I have rhino hide when it comes to bad comments. They don't hurt me in the least. It might be hard for some of my readers to understand just how much I can value all of your opinions and at the same time, don't give a damn.

I'm a writer whether anyone thinks I can write or not. I do this as much for my own personal enjoyment as anything. I didn't put this story up with the hopes that it would win. I try my best to always enter the contests and I never enter them thinking 'Well, here's the winning story."

Nope.

My hope was, and still is, that someone out there will read and enjoy this story. That's why I have posted every story I have put up on Lit. They are for the reader's enjoyment. If the story does win, that's awesome. (I can always use the money to push my books I sell)

If a reader wants to waste moments out of his or her short life to take the time to leave a nit-picky comment telling this erotica pirate that I've posted a story with mistakes? Well, whatever weird fetish they enjoy I guess I'm glad to have helped them enable it.

I'm going to go write another one. (Point of fact, I have 15 e-books – in various stages of finished – to get ready and posted to Amazon.)

Thank you all for your comments. I loved reading them all. Even the ones that didn't like the story for whatever reason. I'm glad to have brought some level of enjoyment. Be it a moment of pleasure, or a sense of satisfaction to you for having told me I misspelled such-and-such word, on page ten, in the third paragraph.

Shrug, fetishes.

Thanks

M.S.Tarot

And deserving winner.

Thank You

HP

How did this NOT win the submission contest? Don't get me wrong, the winning entry was good. However, this one was PHENOMENAL! Excellent writing. 18 hours later and I'm still moist. This one is awesome, hands down!

Chapter 2? Pleeaase,pretty please? P.S.-Definitely a winner!

Let there be chapter2 ?????????

what a wonderful story had everything more please

So well done, I was captivated from the beginning! Thank you!

Like a Travis Magee, John D. MacDonald book about life aboard the " Busted Flush " and all the twists and turns that take place in every ones life. Thank you for the FIRST OF MANY chapters in this book of life. Even if you forget the SEX, HELLO, one has to admit that this is a superb story line. Cheers and HERE`s TO MANY MORE as the old town gets resurrected and Lives get put back together. Cheers

Really wonderful story. Sappy with some great sex. Thank you for your efforts and imagination! Really do hope there is a next chapter letting us know how Mr Mayor is doing with the new job and Mrs. Mayor!

A lovely believable story. A well thought out storyline. The sex was beautifully descriptive and lifelike. A real feeling for the attraction between two age groups.

nothing short of a five star.

.....the impact of such a sensitive, well thought out, cohesive narrative would have been heightened tremendously for the want of a good proof reader. I thoroughly enjoyed the story whilst making mental notes along the way of spelling, typos, loss of narrative flow etc. This did take away from the enjoyment somewhat although it was still a tremendous read despite that!!

very unexpected to find an actual story on here. kudos to you, now to find me a victoria.

It seems likely no one in town actually *set* the fire that killed his parents... But obviously they all willingly turned a blind eye to what they had to know was murder... just for the good all dollar...

Though he may love the town, he likely will always have to disassociate the people *from* it...

Of course, most of the town will have to continue to self-delude themselves or I'm not sure how they could handle their shame *and* deal with him... and obviously some people will just hate him forever, facts be damned...

Loved the story but I'd have liked to see at least ONE instance of "Yeah, you're right, clearly it was arson" or "We're sorry for how we've acted"...

I couldn't put the (Mac) book down!!! Very well written. I have to admit....

I fell in love with Victoria.

This is very well written. Great smart ass remarks and snarky comebacks. Damn. Now I have to check out all your other work.

Readable, worthy of a film script- but no chance

I enjoyed the story and I could only wish to find a Victoria.

More please! (continuation)

Thank you so much.

There was much in your writing that touched me.

great story telling, thank you!

Great story

Remarkable

This story brought back memories of when I was 18 and had an affair with a woman more than twice my age. I look back at that with very fond memories. Thanks for your story.

Truly captivating from start to finish. I do hope there will be a follow up story or stories.. This story has the making of many sequels ...

But the hero thinking that his lover who is more than 30 years old than him will be good for the next 30 years is stupid. In 20 years she will be more than 70 years old. She will be very fragile! I didn’t see them together for very long!

And dumped this one. Too young and WAY too old. A dumb assed story however well written. The guy for me must be younger, but not too much for a mature story and the woman absolutely must be of child bearing age. Older men and younger women stories are a BORE. I NEVER read them I'm a realist. Old men fantasy's are beyond stupid. When she is older and ready to rock and roll, you dumb ass are ready to roll over and go to sleep.

Yeah ... you might should have read the seventy comments that say it's a good story rather than the first comment by an anons that didn't like it. Or, better yet, read a few pages of it yourself and make your own opinion.

Randal, the main character is nineteen almost twenty. He has been out of school and living on his own for the better part of a year.

Victoria is ... hum, I don't know that I gave her age specifically, but mid-forties. She is the mom of his high school sweetheart. (who dumped him) She is very much childbearing age.

MST

Yes, it is long, but not long enough. I want to see how they continue reviving the town, get married, bitch slap Jennifer and then sail away on their honeymoon. The age difference was there but disappeared after a while, just two people in love. Great story!

Loved the story. Is there more to come?

chur m8 awsum story

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Oh such a great story, bit long to get to the sex but a very good story line, nice characters great descriptions.

So I had to come back and give it five stars.

I find stories that are just sex sex and sex quite boring. I think you got it just right, a great story and sex to die for. Should there be a sequel? Probably not. You left us enough clues to finish ourselves it the way we want.

This is truly a great story! It would be great to know what the future holds for this May December romance!

Absolutely fantastic,I couldn’t wait to get to the next chapter!!!

Absolutely great read. Bravos. More bravos.

I am halfway through a very good (and maybe better than that) story, and I have to say:

A FIFTY FOOT SAILBOAT HAS AT LEAST TWO STATEROOMS, WITH AT LEAST DOUBLE BEDS.

Okay, done yelling. Loving this, will finish your excellent story soon.

Amazing story, the built up , the characters even the secondary one, only two thing I`ve to say and please don`t take it as an offend it is just my opinion, well the first thing is the story is a bit long and it can be reduced to be nine page at maximum if you delete some unnecessary paragraphs that wouldn`t effect on the story, the second thing the sex was great and kinky only I hoped the sex scene would be more detailed and longer than that as one or two well described sex scene would be better than four or five short one....anyway thanks for your wonderful story

I'll be the one to say it was just too much. Too long (I quit at page 10), too dramatic, the characters too much like caricatures, and the hotel scam way too fucking unlkely!! But the parts where the angry young man fucked the red headed MILF were excellent. My suggestion - more sex, less social and emotional story telling.

Ending felt like you just got tired of writing this LONG story. No conclusion, with everything left open ended and unfinished.

Enjoyed it, was abit too long without a good sex scene,

Sometimes it needed a good detailed description of the sexual encounter,

As for the false arrest by the sheriff and is ignorance in finding the correct justice served ,

What about an apology from the people who ignorantly accuse him of being an arsonist especially after what happened to his parents dieing.

What happened to the rest of the storyline? You stopped it at the Christmas morning after the daughter untimely visit.

TO BE CONTINUED. PLEASE.

zerozerozero.. Bored to shit with this juvenile melodrama on page three... goodbye.

torn between a 4 and 5 stars. a 50 foot sailboat has a large master stateroom, not just a "cot" or "bench" . sex and her daughters problems were okay but the plot?

One of the most amazing pieces of writing, showing your talent and story telling at its best. As one who writes not here, I was taken with your skills to draw a reader in to follow you, for you left them needing to know more, and then your placement of elements that drove the story to its conclusion, with the intimate journeys so well incorporated. I will easily say 5 stars is way too little, and from me to you, BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO !!!!! JEF

Thank you for the story was good and he did find his star.

When I was 36 I fell in love with a woman of 45. We were together for 40 years until she died. There is nothing like the love of a mature woman.

[30.10.22]

This is one of the few 10+ pagers that keeps my attention.

Great jokes:

1) The laughter of seagulls was thankfully silenced by the water. Fucking noisy, white, air rats.

2) The dry flying weight of unladen European swallows

Totes Xecellent!

11/10!!!!!

I could not stop reading this wonderful story and then suddenly it stopped! If the beginning was too long, the ending was to short. Not a full conclusing. Still a 5*.

Just an awesome and well told story! Loved it! 5* +++

Thank you!

One of the best ever

Wonderful, wonderful story. Easily in my top ten.

I'm just sad that it's finished.

Wonderful story, through and through, but I especially wanted to commend you for this "love letter to old Florida," which felt wholly authentic. We all know why we're here on this site, but when the stories are ensconced in such wonderful writing, you almost forget - the way everything flows naturally, with nothing feeling forced or out of place. Love your work.