My Cool World

Lola did enjoy flirting with an attractive lady, even if for naught. To date, she'd only one of what could be called serious relationships. And while she wouldn't say she was starved for female affection—sorry, Mom; romantic female affection—cravings for a sweet woman in her life surfaced now and then. And the longer her dry spell lasted, the more frequent and stronger said cravings came on.

The truth was, sometimes she found being a lesbian frustrating. Most of it stemmed from the clear minority/heterocentrism aspect. She must've been cute, because young gents asked her out pretty often. She didn't love turning them down, but at least her reason had nothing to do with them. Some guys didn't quite buy it. They felt what Lola "needed" was a good time with them. But whether achieving conviction or not, she doubly asserted she was 100% gay. Which brought her to the gals. There was no point in hiding her sexuality, so she always mentioned it early. No girl she told wanted to appear homophobic, and most were not. This normally led to one of two responses: an off-guard "...Oh. Um...oh-kay..." or the more relaxed "Oh, that's cool. I'm not a lesbian myself, but..."

Lola stopped listening at this point, admittedly having to keep her eyes from rolling, thinking, Of frigging course you're not. She was not proud of this thought, but didn't even try to stop it barging in anymore. Neither reaction thrilled her, but she would not, could not be dishonest about it. Her undoing was found in the wake of their interactions. The same chicks who told her they were not gay, Lola found, seemed to enjoy flirting with her. And try as she would not to, Lola couldn't help but flirt back. It seemed her own mind and heart were playing a cruel trick on her. As if even though she knew the girls were straight, innocent flirting made her think she could magically further the interaction, into legit courtship. While deep down inside, she knew she couldn't. And she'd inevitably get hurt again. She wanted to hate these girls for toying with her emotions, but she really hated that she wasn't strong enough to put up walls. Lola, you idiot! she'd think, beating herself up again and again. What made you think you could change her??

She supposed the bright spot was that as much as it hurt, there was never so much invested that she couldn't heal and move on. Eventually, a reset button was activated. She'd be ready to trust her heart and mind again, masochistic as they'd shown themselves to be. Did she really subconsciously like hurting herself? Why?? Why would a person derive pleasure from unhappiness, from downright heartbreak? Did she actually loathe herself? Was she mad? Did she need to see someone (professionally)? So many confusing questions...well, she wouldn't let that happen with Sunny. Sunny Saunders was straight like all the others, so be it. As beautiful and awesome as the dolly was, Lola'd merely enjoy her company as a buddy. That was all.

She brought herself back to present at Perx, where Sunny was going on about herself. As Lola'd been half-attentively listening, her companion had shared that she too was 21, born on July 21st, had lived here her whole life, and enjoyed both hot and cold weather.

"'Ssee, what else..." mused Sunny, taking tiny bites and savoring her doughnut.

"...Um, my favorite color's red, my favorite food's Chinese—but there's really no food I hate—my favorite animal's all of 'em..."

Lolly's mouth popped off her straw as she gasped. "Omigosh, me too!" she exclaimed. "I'm-I'm sorry to interrupt, but I, love, animals! ...Uh...she said, eating a bear claw," tittered Lola. "No, but seriously, I really am crazy about animals. The cute housepet-y ones, and the more exotic ones like at the zoo. My parents and I've been through cats, dogs, birds, fish...and every time they show one of those commercial...thingies for the ASPCA...you know, I mean, I know lots of people think they're annoying. But they break my dang heart. I know, I'm such a sap. And a softie. And a nerd."

This admission seemed to make her a little embarrassed.

"Hey." Sunny gave Lola's unoccupied hand a friendly pat. It did not go unnoticed.

"Lemme tell ya som'n, chick-pea: nerds...are adorable. Boy and girl ones. And I mean that in a good way; not condescendin'. When I say 'nerds,' 's a compliment. I've dated nerds. Sort of a stigma in school...I dated jocks too, I guess that made sense to people. But when I went out with nerdy guys, they didn't get it. They wanted to know why. Like it was any of their business."

"Oh yeah, schoolmates can be real Nosy Nancies."

"Mm. Yeah, no, but gettin' back to my point, I've never met a nerd with a bad heart or a legit bad bone in his, or her body. My experience, most of 'em're just sweet, innocent people with wholesome personas. And you can see it reflected in the way they talk, dress, style their hair, stuff like that. They just put off this vibe of being so...nice, and...cute! Gives me such an affection for 'em."

Lola smiled warmly.

"Well, then, prepare to love me," she told Sunny, pushing her third and fourth eyes back up.

"You kinda just described me to a tee. In a lot of ways, 'queen' won't do it; I am goddess of the nerds. The glasses and the nasal thing in my voice are just the tip of the iceberg. I have twenty-five hundred books, and two thousand of them are comic books. I still love video games, both old 2-D and the newer stuff. On the cuter side, I love hanging out with my folks; they're actually kind of my best friends. Believe it or not, my favorite things to do for them are grocery shop and decorate for the holidays. I don't drink, smoke or curse, and I actually conduct myself using something from the 20th century called 'manners'—I know, right—...

"Le'ssee...oh, I am pretty smart, yes. I skipped second grade, I was on the honor roll through the others...I like math and science, my favorite TV show's probably still Big Bang...I like doing word and number puzzles...I can make my own programs on my computer... Oh, I make my bed every day with all the pillows in a neat little row. And I sleep with a teddy bear, with a ribbon around her neck. I'm a little awkward and clumsy, I can't play sports or fix stuff with tools, so...'bad' lesbian, but see, told you: nerd goddess. And to top it all off, with only one relationship that went nowhere, in the grand tradition of nerds...I'm a virgin. But then, I'm also gay, so..."

"Mm!" Sunny took one of her last bites of doughnut and washed it down. "And I bet you're ruthless on the chessboard to boot."

Lola shrugged. "Chess is fun, yeah, but I couldn't claim my cred as the true nerd goddess if I wasn't so epic at D&D."

Sunny smiled mischievously, leaning in a bit closer. "Can I tell ya a secret?"

"Ooh, we're already sharing secrets? I like it. Yes, please."

"Heh...well, maybe more if this one goes over. Believe it or not..." Sunny looked left and right, lowered her voice and grinned.

"...I've always kinda wanted to play D&D."

Lolly arched her eyebrows.

"On behalf of my nerd universe, I will take your discreet tone there as whimsy, 'cause it doesn't seem like you'd mean it as an insult."

"'Course not. All in the name o' secret-keepin'. Like I said, I adore you guys. Without a hint of condescension."

"Okay, great! Thank you. Then I'll invite you on a quest sometime."

"Fun-tastic! So, uh...any special little secrets ya'd like to share with me? The zipper on these lips never gets stuck."

Oh my, hee hee...I, eh...hope you mean your mouth's lips.

"Hmmm, well...oh yeah. Here's one, honey bun. This is fun, Sun, take it and run when it's done and done. I—..."

She blushed, as Sunny good-naturedly giggled at her from behind those shades.

"I just did it again, didn't I...I swear, I don't even mean it. It's so weird. Lemme try that again.

"Okay, so this one's not scandalous or anything, but it's unique and cute. I...'doughnut' know how many people can say this about themselves, but...and you're gonna have to take my word for it...I can actually tickle myself."

Sunny's brows rose. "Y'mean...legitimately? And, like, make yourself laugh?"

"Well, I'm sure I could, if I followed through with it. But I can't take it, so I always make myself stop right away. See, my...my underarms and my feet are pretty ticklish, but this whole area here, my tummy, sides, ribs and thighs...I don't know how they got this way, but they are so super sensitive, if I just like make a really soft...sort of claw motion on them like this, with my fingertips..."

She slipped one hand under her top and demonstrated on her belly, subsequently jumping with a shiver.

"Ooh!... Heh! Yeah. Now I know, for all you know, I could've been totally faking it. But honest to goodness, I'm not."

"Wow. Well then..." A sneaky, playful grin crept up Sunny's cheeks.

"'F I really want som'n outta ya, or want'cha to spill any more secrets...guess I know how to make ya."

A sheepish look colored Lola's face. "Oh dear...did I just seal my own fate?"

That same inscrutable smile once more.

"We'll see."

*****

It's The Most Sunny-ful Time Of The Year

Friday, December 2nd, 2016, 4:56 p.m.

Lola's (new) house. 5330 West Windham Drive, Green Plains County, Juniper, Minnesota, 56049. The Lundens' residence now having relocated from Virginia. A modest two-story Victorian with white siding and a red roof and trim. The home of Lola's mother, father and self, boasting a tree in either yard. One member of a neighborhood uniform with similarly designed houses, pedicured lawns and cordial homeowners. And right now, holiday lights.

"Okay, great, I'll see you then!...Uh-huh!...I can't wait, this is going to be so awesome!...Okay, bye!"

Lola hung up. She was so excited and happy, she clapped her fists and shook them in the air. Sunny was coming over to spend the weekend. It was their first slumber party—two nights, to boot. In the three months since meeting, they'd become total besties, fastie. They'd been to each other's homes, met one another's folks, and shared meals between domiciles and restaurants. They too of course convened online, buddying up their social media. And thanks to Sunny, Lola was no longer lost and intimidated in Denmore College.

Every year on the first Friday in December, Lola engaged in a tradition adopted in her teens. She adjourned into the cellar, dug out the Christmas decorations and tree, and spent the weekend gussying the house. So that while the Lundens Fred and Jilly tended to the household, this left Lolly to decorating. The amount of stuff they had for each occasion corresponded roughly to Lola's love for whichever it was. And so it was fitting that they had the most for Christmas.

And so now with a new best friend, Lola was enthused to share her world. She'd rarely clicked with someone with such chemistry. Sure, there were kids she hung with through grade school, when such cognizance was fluid and fuzzy. But between moves, squabbles, lost touch, and a social awkwardness she developed as a teen, none of her early associations stood the test of time. Lola tended to blame herself, even if the severing of ties was clearly no one's fault. She supposed it was all part of her empathetic nature. She had a big heart, and now easily latched onto those she felt took an interest in her. But making legitimate friends came difficult. She never quite learned how. Her mind was a bit troubled. The truth was, sometimes she felt guilty about things she knew she'd no reason to. Sometimes the most bizarre unbidden thoughts entered her mind, not all of them pleasant, and it disturbed her. And then other times she thought that she was being too hard on herself. And still other times she thought that she thought too much.

She toted the boxes up from the cellar one by one, placing them around the living room. Her Mom Jilly watched TV, while her Dad put the starting touches on supper in the kitchen. Once all the boxes were up, including the big one containing the tree, Lola took a first break to plop in the recliner, check out the tube with her Mom and wait for her buddy girl.

"So what time's Sunny supposed to come, hon?" asked Jilly.

Lola adjusted her glasses. "Ummm, let's see, what time is it, 5:00?...Yeah, I guess any time now," she giggled.

"Aw, you guys're gonna have so much fun," Jilly smiled, finding it cute how gleeful her daughter was.

That was indeed the plan, Lola nodded. As the clock struck five, a new show started. Seven minutes in, it went to commercial. Every time they played a Christmas ad, Lola's heart warmed. As mushy and corny as it remained, she couldn't deny it; it had always been her favorite holiday, and growing up changed nothing. Three commercials in, she got her annual throwback to the late '90s and her childhood. Her Mom knew what was to happen next. The first "Sugar Plum Fairy" notes tinkled in.

"So, you think Santa will like these red and green M&Ms?" Lola said in unison with Peanut Yellow, affecting his funny voice as well. She then immediately jumped to her imitation of Plain Red's voice, doing his line.

"I don't know, I never met the guy."

"WAAAH!" they harmonized as the M&Ms indeed encountered Saint Nick. Lola went on imitating Red's voice, then Santa's.

"He does exist!"

"They do exist!"

And she pretended to faint along in the recliner, as Plain Red and Santa both fainted. And at last, she returned to Yellow.

"Uh, Santa?"

With that, she turned back to her Mom. The annually charmed Jilly regaled her with applause.

"Brava, sweetheart."

It was no more than a few moments later the two of them heard an unusual sound. A motorcycle roared from around the corner. It seemed to stop just in house of the house. Both ladies turned toward the window.

"Is that her?" asked Jilly.

"I...don't think so..." Lola mused, standing from the recliner. "She drives a Tesla."

The bike was parked out front. She watched as the passenger threw a hug on the driver, popped off the helmet and returned it. She then opened the compartment attached to the back and removed a package. Lola's eyebrows hopped to an arch.

"Oh—I stand corrected; it is Sunny. Guess someone gave her a ride."

She scampered around to the front door to open and greet. She whipped it open with such enthusiasm, it barely creaked.

"Sunny D-light!"

"Lolly-popsicles!"

Exchanging just a couple of the cute nicknames they'd come up with for each other, the girls met with a hearty hug in the Lundens' doorway. Looking as awesome on ever, Sunny was decked in a pair of Jack & Jones lace boots, skinny jeans with a faux acid wash, a faded Pink Floyd T, a black leather jacket and fingerless gloves to match, blue scarf a shade just between sky and aqua, and of course her signature shades—today, Aviators. Though bundled for the 36° day, the hug she tossed on Lola felt nice and cold.

"Well c'mon, c'mon!" Lola urged. "Get your tushie in here!"

She herded The Sunny One inside and shut the door. Her super-cool guest presented the package.

"This, mon ami, is pour vous."

"AWWWwwwww!" said Lola, covering an entire octave of notes. "How sweet! But you didn't have to do that!"

"Given that it ain't Christmas yet, and a month after your birthday, I so did not. But you're my bestie, and I'm your guest-ie. Besides, I was at Hallmark the other day, saw this and immediately thought o' you. Merry Early Christmas."
A touched Lola examined it, indeed seeing a Hallmark-printed box. It was heavy. She took it and its bearer into the living room.

"Mom, check it out! Sunny got me an early Christmas present."

Jilly smiled. "Sunny is an early Christmas present."

"Ohhhh!" It was Sunny's turn to gush. She crossed to the couch and plopped down to dole her next hug to Jilly. "Thanks, Mrs. L.! Ain't you just the peachiest peach!"

Lola went to resume her recliner as Sunny popped back up and unzipped her jacket.

"So can I open it now?"

"'Course!" Sunny called over her shoulder, heading to the kitchen to greet Lola's Dad. "It's not a Christmas present, it's a Christmas present!" She sidled against the kitchen doorway as Lola uncertainly mulled that one over. "What's up Mr. L.!"

"Hey, Sunny!" Fred put supper on pause to greet her. "Good to see ya again!"

Pleasantries exchanged, jacket off, Sunny returned to the living room.

"Sit down Sunny honey!" urged Jilly. "Watch some Lulu with us!"

Lolly lolled back in her recliner, placing an embarrassed hand over her face. "That's Hulu, Mom," she uttered.

"Ah, anything you guys wanna watch's good with me," Sunny told them with a wave of the paw. "'Lulu,' 'Dudu,' 'Pupu,' whatevs!"

Lola couldn't help but laugh from behind her hand. But not as hard as she did when she heard her mother legitimately ask—

"...Are those real things?"

While Lola'd not directly inherited her adorable nerdiness from her Mama, there had always been a bit of airy-fairy overlap between them. Mom Jilly could fairly be called a trifle daft, and a lot of information found its way past her. Not to be gotten wrong, she had her share of smarts and sense. It merely manifested in her own unique forms. She was an amazing mother, wife and Jubilee Foods employee. As Lola would brag, she was the nicest lady in the world. Jilly and Fred approached academia via different methods, but both achieved success. And upon having Lola, the girl was destined for brains and great grades. Though both genetic and not, there were traits of Lola's she could frankly do without. But there were many too for which she was grateful. She got her big heart, patience and sweet disposition from her mother, and her creativeness, facial features and sense of logic from her father.

"So...Sunny, was that your Dad? You didn't tell me he had a motorcycle."

"Oh—close!" Sunny smacked her thigh. "Very close, Rhymin' McRhymeypants. He doesn't. That wasn't my Dad, that was Brad."

"...Brad?"

"Yeah, we started chillin' a few weeks back," said Sunny, performing a Sharon Stone flip-cross of the legs. "Gone out a couple times. Not exactly boyfriend territory yet, but we're havin' fun."

She grinned, flipping her eyebrows at Jilly. Jilly arched her own brows, as if to say, "Well...fun is...fun." Lola nodded, but said nothing. Even though Sunny was merely a great friend and Lola had accepted that, she couldn't deny that same sinking of her heart.

Come on, Lola, you can't get down about this. Sunny has every right to go out with whomever she wants...which...logically, would be dudes. The girl is straight, Lol. She knows we're gay, but the fact remains that she, is, straight!

Yeah—I'm aware of that, annoying rational self. I'm just... I...I-I just...

"Open your present, Lolly!"

"Wh—huh?...O—...oh, yeah, yeah!"

With the friendly nudge from Sunny, Lola remembered the half-opened package on her lap. A hint of bittersweetness left in her mouth and heart, she forced it down, opened the box and removed what was inside.

Gasp. "Oh wow!"

Indeed weighty, it was a figurine of a vintage steam locomotive car—a Pere Marquette 1225, to be precise. On its back end was mounted a snow globe. A few crystals were already cast about from being taken out of the box. Extending from the tail end was an adapter wound in a twist tie. Lola giggled excitedly studying all the intricate little features. It was painted beautifully, and even designed with a bowed length of holly all the way round. She returned her enchanted smile Sunny's way.