All Comments on 'My Daughter's Friends: Brooke'

I loved the character development, the attention to detail, and the buildup. It was almost palpable, the dad's inner struggling.

VERY well done!

I really enjoyed the story. What is the chance of a second chapter, with the Asian Goddess?

A second part solely for Brooke may be a bit down the line but she is definitely laced through the entire series. The plan is to juggle the four main girls (Brooke, Sophia, Alexis and Katee) in a way that creates tension, comedy and conflict. At least, I'll do my best to juggle them. Thanks for the comment!

You were asking for too little! I wish I could have given a 6 or a 7. Wow! What a story and what a build-up. Your description of the events was almost lyrical. Can't wait to read the rest of the story now that you've replied to one of the comments with possible future story lines. Hope you're open to suggestions if and when required.

Thanks for sharing this well written tale, good length and enjoyable plot.

5+ pages of build up and it was worth the wait. Well done. Please continue this story.

I agree with the positive comments re the buildup to sex

I also want to commend you on the initial character and plot development. Other girls could well follow with additional story lines

Thanks for submitting and please continue

Ed

Now this is a story. You my friend know how to write. This site has so much garbage on it and its rare to find such a gem like this. The character build up as well as the build up to the sex was amazing. A great story on this site isn't a sex story. It's a story with sex in it. This is what you gave us. I also applaude you sticking to the old writers axiom of showing us and not telling us. Good dialogue makes a story and you did it. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Well written and you kept the suspense building. I actually felt the apprehension the dad was feeling with dealing with the young women. Well done.

Nice job of carrying all the moving parts. Whereas most requests for a sequel are basically saying "I liked this. I want to read more of the same," there's a lot of room here for continuing and different adventures of the same characters.

Well written, good characters I gave it five stars. A little editing would help, tenses but I do mean little editing.

Awesome story! I squirted for the first time cause of this!!! Haha well I hope you're more of this so I could squirt more ;) . And please make it more detailed. Thanks!!!

You took the time to set the stage and did not disappoint with the ending. Occasionally Liam seemed a little too awkward and unsure of himself for someone his age but I guess any man could get a little flustered by all that teenage flesh. There were a few spelling and grammar mistakes but unlike some readers it's not my goal to berate writers for not being perfect. I know people in sexual situations don't always speak in grammatically perfect sentences with absolute syntactical correctness.

You've established a good foundation for further elaboration and I encourage you to do so.

Thank you for sharing. Brought back memories of an Asian goddess that took me for a ride . I still shudder thinking about it.

Thanks for all the positivity. With such a supportive readership, I'll do my best to make Novella #2: Sophia even better.

As a fellow writer I'd just like to say I appreciate the way you set the stage for this, even if, as someone else mentioned, Liam did seem a little too awkward... though perhaps not for someone dealing with fantasies of fucking his daughters high school senior friends. Anyway, I just wanted to offer that bit of praise, and a suggestion, as the title of this comment implies. In the words of Marty Kaan, "All aboard the train to bareback town", after all, Liam's favourite deserves only the best ;) (I'd say drop me a PM and let me know what you think... but it's too much work to have a writing account on this site too T_T)

love your style! Haven't gone to your profile to see if there is more about Brooke, I hope there is! I also hope that you write some about the girls that pretended to be drunk and heard what he said and she reacts to it, being the favorite and all!

Good work looking forward to reading more of your work!

Good story, but liberally scattered with some of the most bizarre spelling of all time!

One hell of a story. Halfway through it I stopped treating like a erotica and read it like a proper story. Amazing!

One of my favorite erotica's.

It didn't quite rate a five though. Too many daft typos and the occasional misuse of language. For example, 'lied' is the past tense of the verb to 'lie', ie tell untruths. 'Lay' is the past tense of the verb to 'lie' ie rest, usually horizontally.

I know that's quibbling, but when you write as well as this, tiny wee glitches really do spoil it.

Loved how the characters were built through great, realistic and sensitive dialogue. Loved some of the narrative descriptions. Including the Pete Seeger references, 'little boxes made of ticky-tacky'. Great job, despite the wee quibbles above. I'm looking out for how it develops.

All in all, a very good story marred by a few jarring typos. Don't rely on Spell Check to catch your errors. If you don't have an editor, try reading your work aloud from printed copy. It's amazing how the goofs jump out at you when you do that.

A slow buildup and quite frankly I was wondering if I would get any sex out of it but there it was......yeah it was good and you have a few more stories out of Brooke and the rest to give us. Good job and keep writing!

Lovely story, well written, long slow build, plenty of erotic nature building to a fruitful culmination. Enjoyed that greatly.

But it's already 5 stars from me.

And gave a 5* and favorited it, but no comments.

I just read it for a second time and wish I could favorite it again with another 5*!

I don't like asking the author for another chapter, because I don't like to rush them and make them compromise the story! However it's been almost a year and since you already stated that there will be future chapters, I'm wondering if the release of chapter 2 is near the horizon!

I love your writing style !

More with Brook and a sample of the other girls

I really liked the ending, but it was way to long and No Straight Male every spends so much time talking about the smell of her shampoo or cream rinse. Next time try not to use such flowery words and concentrate more on the characters and their actions. The story should have been 4 pages long - 5 max. You stretched it out like it was the great American novel, which is was not. Still, a good first effort. I did give it a 5.

I liked this . Few syntax errors, flowed well and overall, was well done.

The only negative, for me anyway, was that you held the tension too long. I'll be reading more of your offerings.

The title makes it sound like this is going to be part of a series. I hope it is.

here's1st.here's now - i've did read this from beginning going end

when made it's debut the site i've remember doing that ESPECIALLY NOW

THAT I'VE JUST DID READ MORE THAN SIMPLY GOOD DEAL ... ... ... ... ...

now that's been said - SOMEBODY THAT CAN WRITE AS PHENOMENAL

AS WHAT'S LITERALLY DONE THIS STORY NEEDS CONTINUE .....

THEY OBVIOUSLY DON'T GIVE RAT'S PATOOT ABOUT CONTINUE

Ignore the too long and stop being gay comments. That is a great piece of writing. This site is full of short, dumb stories already. You've included treats for all the senses and this is cleverly done. Your story is set apart because of it. More.

Nice buildup though I was hoping to see him with some of the other girls like Sophia the door has certainly been opened, but that can happen in another chapter 😊

Could have used a bit more description in the erotica department but overall great stuff. your story characters all felt both real and relatable. I would love to see a deeper growth in MC and Brooke's relationship, should you continue the story that is.

I believe that is the best story I have ever read. And I have read a lot of them. GREAT JOB!!!!!!!!!

This was one of the most erotic, intimate, sweet story I´ve read on literotica, I hope you continue posting here, I really wish some time soon you bless us with other of your stories

This was an interesting story, I could see a number of sequels involving other friends of his daughter. Well told, telling of the internal struggles he faced while fighting not to give in to his inner lust. I enjoyed your work and hope you decide to continue as this was a good read. Thanks.

I hope this is the start of many stories. You care in writing shone through.

Really enjoyed this work. I’m not usually one for the longer stories here but the writing held my attention and story was good. I sincerely hope you write another instalment

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, thank you.

Top of Page 3 ... I laughed out loud, a funny scene and well scribed.

Great writing and development. Nice blocking. Could use some more proof reading. Thanks

Really enjoyed your story. We had a boy no girl, so I never experienced all the girl friends at home. Wish I had now, but at least I got to live it through your great story. You should have it made into a movie! Lots of great description and build up and lots of fun and cleverness.

It felt real, emotional, I felt for the guy.

Really good, thoughtful work. Looking forward to a [hopeful] followup.

Let's see: A dozen young ladies? Or maybe just ten, even discounting Liam's daughter..., so there could easily be another several sequels, each a unique chapter. Without even moving up to their mothers or sisters or the school staff. All athletic and luscious, as in good enough to eat.

Great story, well written

What an unexpected delight, being told an actual story that takes its time, detailing thrills, surprises and emotions. Well meaning characters and a positive outcome which all really suit me right now. Thank you, sir!

This was just superb. Great, believable characters, well-paced storytelling, building tension then the just beautifully described sex with Brooke. Bravo sir. You have a gift, please use it... a lot! Can't wait for more.

All the best

Bill in the UK

5 Stars on a great read . Keep the stories coming

All these years later and no follow up?