All Comments on 'My Girlfriend's Rival'

The story was just perfect! It's simply one of the hottest and most sexually charged stories I've come across. I'll keep an eye out for your next installment. Keep up the phenomenal work.

Amazing! Perfect length, good character development! Hope there's a sequel!

I don't like unfinished stories!!!!!!!!!

are less so. I nearly stopped on reading the opening line - with the use of "pretty", normally stories beginning with this kind of description turn into weak adjective and adverb fests.

The dialogue was fairly well done. The sex was good enough if not exactly the kind that drives me wild. Overall not a bad story.

Good sexy use of girls' jealousy! I know exactly what you mean.

I sure hope there is a Part 2!

That was amazingly erotic. Best story I've read. Period!

long, yet very erotic, and kept my interest. I haven't commented on any stories lately, but couldn't resist this one!

Great great story with great characterization which is lacking in some stories nowadays. Definately gets my stamp of approval and hopefully there will be a sequel

You definitely have something going here. Will there be another chapter?

....another part to this.... We have to hear about Jennifer, Monica and Stud in a threesome!

Swede

Great story, not too smutty, good use of language and very erotic. Very visual characters

Loved this a lot and just wanted to say thank you.

HEY MAN I HAVE READ TONNES OF STORIESS BUT THIS WAS THE BEST STORY I'VE EVER READ.KEEP IT UP.

Really awesome story with sexy characters that are realisitic and easy to get to know..

It's funny however that if it had been a girl cheating on her boyfriend, all comments would have been of the type : "That slut should die of AIDS" or "That cuckold is sick to be humiliated by another guy"

Makes me wonder: Why do we love M - FF stories and not F - MM stories ? ^_-

Keep it up!

A few comments: One, with all the teasing that Monica was doing, you should have somehow "captured her" and fucked her within an inch of her life, long before you did. And now that the two women are on to each other in a flirty sort of way, perhaps you can initiate a 3-some and start fucking both of them, even impregnating them?

This is great! Keep up the awesome work

Simply amazing, there is nothing else I can say but that. I hope you don't let this story die off just here though. It'd be nice to see what happens to the crazy love triangle in the future.

Narrative framework, characterisation, tension and - ahem - climax all handled extremely well. Your male protagonist did seem to give in a little readily at the close, but I guess there's only so much a man can take before he snaps. Do I get hints at the close that his girlfriend may be the next target? He could hardly complain, if so, and that does open up the story to an interesting sequel.

Awesome job from top to bottom! Great character development. Great first-person account. Obviously took a long time to write and edit. I hope there is no sequel, because I can't see how it lives up to the first. Of course, if there is a sequel, I'll read it...

Truly, one of the best stories I have ever read. Please continue posting. Thanks for sharing your awesome talent & imagination.

Awesome can't wait

works on several different levels, and hot on all of 'em!

Excellent story. Hope to read another that describes what happens next.

I realize you don't seem to show an interest in sequels, but this shows much more promise than almost any other story that spawns millions for followups. Even one more story with Jennifer and Monica would be a gift.

Please, don't leave us like this :)

Absolutely loved this story. Perfectly paced and just smoking hot. Each of the characters is interesting and I especially like how the way they interact changes over time and different situations.

I hope Monica works on your mind like she worked on the guy, so you can tell us about how she fucks Jennifer too. I loved this story and many of your other ones.

I need to read more in this category. I thought you did a great job of describing our hero's inner conflicts and how his lust could take control. Excellent.

That was great!! One of the best stories I've read on this site!! Post more, please!! :D

Can't wait for Ch. 3!!!

Not being critical at all as you painstakingly think your scenes through as you write. However, (1) Did you intend to lead us astray with the dropped cellphone, "I dropped the phone and let it slide off the bed to the floor."? I thought for sure their subsequent sex and conversation was overheard by Jennifer. (2) The handjob-in-the-pockets in the storeroom was a stroke of genius (ah!), yet it was too short to really be believable. You did set it up well with mention of the "dry spell" and her teasing on the way to the storeroom. And, those pockets would have had to be huge (and deep) for her to grab his cock with both hands. Very hot storyline, however. Don't see how you will carry the sexual tension over to the sequel now that the boyfriend

and Monica have fucked and with both girls obviously primed for a F/F and/or M/FF scene.

Good luck with your future sexual tales.

seriously amazing

This was a good read for sure! It is up to the usual standards of this top writer. Very sexy predicaments in this one! Ready for chapter 2 already!!

I came on in the mood for a certain type of story and somehow this story was perfect. Your writing, your characters, the situations are all immaculate. Best story I've read on this site.

Very entertaining! That's a story begging for more chapters in the future!

Very well written. No cliches, not too many expected parts, no "Cat Fight" and sometimes unexpected plots. Great work!

Very hot story!

this would be the greatest and hottest movie. i wish all porn was this great. and part 2 is also awesome

truly I love all your stories...

I just wish there were more to read! I've read them all and I think that even if there was no sex and you wrote some other type of story your style really appeals to me and I'd prob read it anyways.

Of course, I love the sex too =P

You scored again.

I like the subjects of your stories as much as the style.

This one appears to be like a merge of the previous two. With added new twists of course.

So I'm not getting bored. ;-D

What I especially like is the way you insert moan and sighs into the direct speech. I hope you wouldn't mind me trying to copy something of this for my own (german) writing?

Love the teasing/seduction theme in your stories, very stimulating...

hot

Damn hot story... going to the next part right now!

I red this sultry piece a few years ago and looked it up to reread today. I am going to make hubby read it after work. You are so talented. This piece is well done and the only story on this sight I've even conssidered reading over again!

A joy to read!

So so hot. Had me really really turned on and intrigued. I think that Monica should move in with you both and totally dominate you sexually. Maybe deciding when she allows you to screw your gf etc. Anway - bottom line - the story was HOT !!!

Why aint there more pages D;

Good story

One of the hottest, most well written stories that I have read. Awesome. Need more

but I'll still to my #1 rule of work:

never play where your paycheck comes from

Liked the story , you write very well...when's your next submission haven't seen anything new..like readers suggestion of Monica moving in! Other readers comment in screwing with co worker,,,come on dude loosen up its a story!!

Although I liked the "yummy!" description, as well.

Continue the story please it was getting extremely hot. Maybe bring Monica into a threesome with Jennifer and him.

You have a wonderful imagination or have had a very interesting sex life. I really enjoy all your stories, keep it up, good work!

Please continue!!!! So hot.

OMFG!!! So fucking hot. Honestly the best story I've ever read on Literotica. PLEASE FINISH!!!

Lol, crazy shit. I knew a nutjob nymphomaniac girl just like her when I was younger too! Yeesh!

Under normal circumstances he couldn't fuck again after having just banged the girl?! How fucking lame is that?! Hell when I was 24 if I'd had good sleep the night before I could fuck anywhere upwards of seven times! Hell do it till the body gives out, the dick never did. Next day I'd be in pain and worthless, but still...

I couldn't have had his girlfriend, I would have told her to shut the fuck up about the bitch on day two! Talk about infuriating and annoying!

Next chapter should be good! Either I see a three way coming or things are going to blow up epically!!

psycho

Couldn't stop reading. I like the pace of "Her ticklish side" too, your book on Amazon, under Devlin Lucas, I think. (I saw on your bio). Keep writing!

The crazy woman? Or the man so blind and so stupid that he has anything to do with an obvious crazy woman? Even for fiction, their stupidity makes this an awful story.

... Because stuff like this seldom turns out well in real life. It's not about just being young, experimenting, and having fun. If only real life worked out that way. NO- This is about the Monica character being "twisted" and looking to reek havoc in the lives of the other two characters which is what, in reality, would happen. As an adult fantasy, this story has it's charm. Readers should remember, though, that fantasy it is. When the line between reality and fantasy becomes blurred, trouble awaits on the horizon.

I love your stories. Sorry there are not more!

You just left us hanging?

I am a bit put off by this, that is my problem. Your hero could have an extremely good case of sexual harassment. Can you say hostile work environment..If it was a guy doing this to a woman, he would at least be fired and could also be sued in civil court.

(HINT) I worked in this field for a few years for the Dept of Defense. I know whereby I speak. Not gonna read part two. Like I said that is my problem

This story needs a sequel with the upcoming threesome!

What a great story. It flows well and keeps it's audience engaged. So, at the end of the story I was a little put off with how low the main character's sex drive is. "Under normal circumstances, there would be no way I could fuck again after the session I had just had with Monica." Wasn't that a very short one off? Yeah she edged him once but it couldn't have been more than a half hour of sex. That's really weak in my opinion. Never understood the one off guys. How old is the main character anyways? You make the story as if everyone is in there 20s but with that one line I would think he is in his 60s. I don't know about anyone else but I like to read about someone that can handle a threesome. So far from what I read this guy has no chance. One off guys stop having kids. You're passing your weak genes on and making these stories that don't add up.

My mind is scrambled, feeling like Jennifer and anticipating while hating everything. So freaking erotic!

the victim repeatedly says no and stop and that it’s wrong. The rapist then flips it back onto the victim with well if it’s so wrong you wouldn’t be enjoying it. Ahh the old rape trials. If the chick orgasamed then it’s not rape. Even getting wet was seen as consent at times.

So reclassify as rape story or at least add rape to the tags.

1 lonely star as I can’t give zero stars and still drag down your average.

Fantastic well written story - loving how she plays with his mind

Mmmm

Love a woman who knows what she wants and shows it

Where's his phone!!!!! Is it still in the bedroom, will it cause trouble??

The twist with Monica seducing Rachel, I loved that! So cute, I kinda wanted them to just date each other, because the boyfriend is a total piece of shit, but so is Monica. Anyways I love Rachel, and the story was great! All characters seemed pretty realistic and the story flowed well! And it was also hot so very well done! Can’t wait to read some more!

Out of curiosity what color hair do Monica and Jennifer have? Is it up to interpretation? If it is meant to be I headcanon Monica being blonde and Jennifer being a brunette.

Very hot. Particularly the bathroom stall scene and the bedroom at the party. I usually don't consider stories, no matter how erotic, to be masturbatory fodder. Those two scenes are the exception. Thanks, nice job!

Mmmmm loved it! and, with any equal opportunity post, some time you wil hanve to add a little boy-boy action with the girls......

Started ok. Was thinking about dropping it then half way through second last page it got damn good.

Part 2 here I cum.

Nato_

Great story! Well thought out and written with plenty of angst, drama, sex and that twist, wow! I definitely look forward to reading part two. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination (memories?) and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

Loved it!

I've never had much patience for cheaters, and a story based on it does nothing to excite me.

Loved it. Though I am really curious about what girls talked about as it seemed these two are together for some time already or whatever they talked melted Jennifer away 🤨😍

It seems like Jennifer liked Monica a lot which is why she was jealous of her and it also seems like they like each other. If things work out, the boyfriend might end up in a three-way loving relationship.

More?

Surprised. Such spitfire rivals get under each other's skins, actually are attracted to each other. How ironic. And boyfriend is really the was the washer between the screw and the nut. Sounds like a threesome in the making.

The femme fatale theme is hot. I have never read a story like that on here. Good work.

Hot story... enthralling and arousing! I think Monica is going to make you suffer a bit more! ;-)