All Comments on 'My Happy Ending'

You were right it was a deep and well developed story. Wouldn't mind a few more with short ones in between. CONGRATS ON YOUR WEDDING.

Dang. The ending was both good and bad. Good, for Lawrence, and depressingly bad for Amanda.

You know what? I blame Marge. I mean, what if Marge had never fed her that line of bullshit in the first place? Lawrence and Amanda would've still been happy I bet. True, Amanda could've said "no", could've stopped it instead of spiraling out of control. But the root cause was Marge's lies.

Marge got a good life in the end, and Amanda ends up in the gutter. It just feels very unjust. One of the few times in SS's stories where I feel a lot of pity for the cheating wife.

Great Tale! She should have kept her legs closed. Marge didn't hold a gun to her head. She made her own choices. But she truely needs help.

Rob Conner

Congratulations on your upcoming, based on her story last week you will be well paired. Just watch out if she wants to drive "your" stang.

I read the 1st page and the last: did not waste my time reading the other 10: I KNEW Amanda was going to end up in the gutter. It didnt matter WHY, I knew SS06 hates First Wives, so I knew what his ending would be. And I wasn't wrong! SS hates first wives. He despises them. He violates them. He replaces them. He has no respect for them. He kicks them to the curb without a moments hesitation. And for this very reason, I am slowly weaning myself of as a Loyal Fan. Sad, but necessary. A Pity though, because I believe that First Wives are also human, they make mistakes, they have flaws just like everyone else. As for their Husbands, They just trade them in, they move onto much greener pastures, The Replacement is so much younger and Well, that Idiot just lives the Dream life with his New Family. Such is life I guess. Shame on your SS!!!

Regarding your upcoming nuptials: (dont know who that lucky gal is, did not read anything last week, so missed her story?????) . Firstly Congrats! Thats My Boy! However, Does she know that you WILL trade her in OR is she the Replacement babe bride? Hey if its MikYourBaby then I'm happy. She's one great editor! If Not, still Congrats

From

A soon to be ex loyal Fan: disloyal? Unloyal?

"My midnight blue Mustang GT thundered down the road precluded by the sound of almost five hundred horsepower channeled through a Pype bomb exhaust system."

Preceded? Heralded? Announced? Led?

This error is unlike you.

secondly, you just had to do it huh. You just had to put out another hit. I'm sick and tired of reading all these great freakin stories. That being said DAMN, I loved the ending, a skanky bag lady.....5x************************************************'s

you wern't kidding, long. very good too you should add that.

I didn't understand the actions of Amanda, it was like you wanted to give her a first step, and force her to keep walking away from the marriage. Marge and Darrel got back into Laurence's good graces, but Amanda was required to walk a path of addiction, so that she could be hated as a woman who had strayed. I think you went too far, and I actually started to dislike Laurence for being too much of a man with his self-righteous head up his ass.

You tried to make him sympathetic and the victim in this story, but I couldn't see it that way. Some of the conversations between Amanda and Marge made me feel like they had only become close friends weeks before the onset of the story. Marge should have known about the relationship between Laurence and Amanda, and should have advised Amanda to not screw up a good thing.

Once the ball was rolling, you simply painted Amanda into a corner, and placed Laurence on a pedestal as the hero. I actually felt Laurence was basking in self pity of the wronged party, and acting like a self centered jerk. It almost seemed unrealistic, where Laurence would point his nose in the air so that he could deliver the narcissistic line of "I loved you more than life itself!", and yet would not even try to comfort his wife who was now hurting and regretting her actions, because it would he his ego would be better served in self pity.

In short, you have forgotten that Laurence should know that, "f you are a doormat, then be prepared to be walked on", it true, and HE set up the situation, so that HE was able to play the Martyr. HE was the one who set this up, and HE ruined his soulmate.

As usual, once I started reading I couldn't stop. Tragic and engrossing... Like Rance, I am not one to take sharing lightly. 5 stars

the rest of the sickos stories on this day your a regular f. scott fitsgerald thanks for giving me something to read that didn't make me puke.

Amanda cheated, even though she thought she had permission to engage in extra-marital sex. Rence lied to her, while she was wrong from the start of this sad story he pushed her in the wrong direction that she was heading in, you don't do that to the people you love. Amanda made a huge mistake in even giving credence to Marge's stories and asking for permission to have sex with someone else. Both of these two married people made huge mistakes, it's too bad Rence never owned up to his and actively worked to resolve his marriage, one way or the other.

Enjoyed this story a great deal more than your last one, keep up the good work and good luck on your marriage. Five stars.

Two things, both minor. First, try to be a little more subtle with your pop culture and song references - you have a tendency to hit the reader over the head with them like you're using a sledgehammer. The previous one with all the Facts of Life and Different Strokes character names was one example, the constant referencing back to the lyrics of Lavigne's 'My Happy Ending' this time around. It's not a -bad- thing to use those references, and in fact is a very popular trend on LE and elsewhere. But when your character starts using that set of lyrics as his response in a conversation, it's like throwing up a speedbump after the previous half dozen references. Given your personal writing style, most of your readers will catch the reference the first time around, or at least be looking for something like it. Scale them back and trust that the readers will get it. You don't need to hammer the obvious home.

Second, a stolen car is a stolen car, not a divorce. Accidentally leaving your keys in it while in a fit of rage doesn't constitute permission to take it. I get that he's a doctor and not a lawyer, but still.

Anyway, minor irritations aside, still a great story.

Another great story Stang. Best wishes on your wedding but I selfishly hope that you're still going to continue to write as often as you do now.

Thanks for sharing it.

man I love your writing! Keep'em comin.. hodunk

That was one of your best. I really enjoy your stories. Please keep it up and congrats on the marriage.

As usual,you create a very good story with interesting characters. However, either your story is incomplete or you decided all your characters are just as screwed up as the ex, Amanda. Even her children abandoned her? After twenty supposedly good and loving years, she's goes nuts and you have not only her ex-husband but her children no longer caring about her or her whereabouts? Sorry, but you created a loving, affectionate wife and mother that lost it and tried everything to get it back only to dig the grave that evidently her ex, children and friend(?) buried her in. No, I don't buy it! I give you a three for your writing but not the story.

Who could ask for anything more? I can....Please Sir may we have more?

I'm sure I can speak for all your readers in wishing you CONGRATS ON THE UPCOMING WEDDING!!!

SS, do yourself a favor and read the comment that OldHideki left again and again. And then read it again.

Good show, old chap. Enjoyed it immensely. You do good work SS06. Cheers, Connoisseur29

Generally love your stuff, oddballs and all. But I couldn't get over Rence giving her permission and then putting the hammer to her.

If he were my friend, I'd tell him he owned this one, not her. When she asked, he should have flipped out a little, argued, fought, screamed, SOMETHING. He didn't.

She never "cheated," she did what he said she could.

On the other hand, excellent storytelling in that I'm here writing about what I'd tell one of your fictional characters. So kudos on your ability.

I have loved all your stories so far..... BUT..... this one just seems to be just that much better. Best of luck on your up coming marriage, please be kind and don't make us wait too long before we get the next effort, WE all hope you have a "Happy Ending".

Peter

Another good story - thanks !!

...and.....Congratulations on your upcoming marriage :-))

Be kind to one another.......

You said this was a character study. You were trying to do something

With the female characters weren't you? You cross crossed them. It was

Brilliant. You started out with a wife and her slutty friend and

By the end of the story they had switched roles, the wife became the slut

And the slut became the good woman. I also loved the way the

Guy who screwed the wife regretted what he'd done. He wasn't an

Asshole he just made a mistake. Only the central character remained

The same. Very fresh very unique. I really liked it.

Never saw that coming.

Great story as always. I wouldn't have minded hearing Lawrence admit the huge mistake he had made in giving her the green light. Now I don't think that remotely justified what Amanda did, but it would be nice to see him acknowledge more that that was a mistake. A good story from you (although your "good" is most people's "great" around these parts.

Have a great wedding!

I think the author painted a realistic picture of mental illness. Some have said the hero played the martyr or that he should have owned his agreement. Cheating happens before the act. When she asked to fuck other men, she had already cheated. The physical outcome had not happened yet but it no longer mattered at that point. The hero did not know what was happening with his wife and in his emotional state can you blame him? We go into damage control and try to lessen the cost to ourselves. Yes he gave her the rope to hang herself but she should never have put him in that position in the first place. I felt sorry for Amanda, not because she was wronged in some way but because of her mental illness. Amanda needed help and like most people Rence was not capable of helping her. And in the situation he was in most people would not be, Doctor heal thy self, comes to mind. We the readers get to look at the situation once removed and the characters don't. In essence we know more than Rence did and can we truly judge him on things he does not know.

A bit long and somewhat repetitive.

The basic problem is that she broke the marital bond by asking to be allowed to have sex with another man. That would corrode away the whole basis for love. On the other hand, even though it would be difficult to recover from the below, he should have answered honestly and completely, telling her that he was against it but had no power to stop it and probably would want a divorce just because she asked. He lied by not explaining himself.

The wife was downright stupid and the protagonist was not far behind. I sound like Harry here but I repeat that I enjoyed the story since I do not worry about whether or not it could happen,,, Thanks for writing it!

on your upcoming nuptials. I also selfishly wish that it won't curtail your offerings here. I constantly check for your byline in new stories posted.

That said, I really didn't enjoy this one. The writing was fine, but I felt more empathy for Amanda than Rence. She listened to dumb advice and did something stupid. He could have easily nipped it in the bud. She came to him while it was still in the dumb-assed idea stage. He only had to tell her how hurt he was just by her proposing it after his initial shock wore off and maybe booting her to the guest room for a while. Watching her downward spiral trying desperately to fix what she screwed up was painful. The instigator Marge comes out smelling like a rose.

I guess it attests to your writing ability that I feel strongly enough about some silly fictional characters to write a comment about them.

Stang, I look forward to your stories every week and generally enjoy them. I do think that you should think about trying to write one in which the ex isn't so stupid, evil, or crazy. This might sound unfair, since in the Loving Wives category, almost all of the cheating wives are in at least one of those three categories. However, I think you're one of the best writers we have, and I would love to read some stories with more realistic female characters, both the "ex" and "new" women. Your exes tend to be a little"over the top" bad, stupid, or crazy (or all three), and the new women tend to be unrealistically perfect. Think about it. Aside from Rehnquist, you are my favorite author on Lit. I'll still read all your stories anyway.

but will the listening and speaking ever make sense. TK U MLJ LV NV

As I read the story I formulated my feedback in my mind. Instead of commenting straight away, I read a few other comments and had to reformulate my comment. Some commenters act as if these were real people and you are a scoldable god toying with their lives. It takes talent to get readers to react like the characters are their neighbors or bff rather than a figment of a writer's imagination. My hat's off to you.

As for my take on the story.....I dug it. I thought Amanda came to a fitting end. Of course the car splashing the bag lady at the onset was priceless.

Love the way you set this story up in the very beginning, then flashed back. Using dialogue from both Amanda and Rence was brilliant and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Excellent writing. I was immediately drawn in and felt for each of these characters. For a moment I thought they would get back together, and I even found myself empathizing with Amanda, as did Rence. But, in the end you effectively drove home the point that actions have consequences that sometimes can never be undone - especially when dealing with true love that is deeply wounded. I really feel you conveyed how much Rence had loved Amanda, which in the end helped me understand why he simply could not take her back. I found myself hugging my wife all the more tightly after finishing. Mission accomplished! One of the best on the site.

I was glad to see the cheating sluts destruction, but sad to see Darrell and Marge get off. Okay, Marge had a "hard luck life", but SO WHAT. Divorce the cheating asshole abusive husband and THEN start looking.

And Darrell, He should EXPECT a problem when he FUCKS ANYONE'S WIFE.

SS06 Firstly Congrats on your upcoming wedding!! May it be blessed and happy. Now on to My Happy Ending its a great story in a lot of ways the slow Decline of Amanda's mental health was very well depicted and a bit scary it was so dead on. I truly felt sorry for her by the end. But she did tank her marrage and the spiral down was in the end on her...By the way I have to admit I like the song too it really hits a cord with wronged Men and women.... I could sing it to my ex wife

By the way I have to ask or note did you reference " Sophia" by CastleStone it felt like you did in the description of Kathryns face and her eyes, I love that stroy too. Keep up the great work and as always I look forward to reading your work

Dragonsbaine

Essentially, his marriage 'ended' because his wife got a stupid idea.

If my wife divorced me after I said or did a stupid thing, we'd have never made it so long. And she's said and did stupid things as well. It's in human DNA.

So instead of having ONE GODDAMN CONVERSATION before it happened, he took his ball and went home, giving her permission first.

Trust me, I get it. There are dozens of times Mrs. FD45 and I have not talked about drastically important things...with almost 'fatal' consequences, but this one just didn't work. She drops this on him and he's already canceling Bolivia on his run.

So much for valuing the marriage.

Now, I get that what she said damaged the marriage...a LOT. But a marriage is an organic thing, like a human being. It gets hurt and it can heal again. It's not a piece of Steuben Crystal which just needs some fat lady singing the perfect note to make it shatter forever and ever...and a guy who was married 20 years should get that.

But that seems to be the problem with 'the PERFECT marriage'. Because neither one of them have had to deal with anything difficult (like this), they seem singularly unequipt to deal with the smallest speed bump. (You know...there's a story in there...)

Sweetie Pie: "Honey, does this make my ass look fat?"

Dumb Stud: "Well, you're getting a little broad in the beam back there."

SP: "OH MY GOD! How can you say that?!? You don't find me attractive any more! So...if I'm not attractive, you don't love me...and if you don't love me, then you must be ready to step out the door...OH MY GOD this is the worst day of my life! I'm calling the lawyer tomorrow!"

How the conversation should have gone.

Amanda: "Honey, I want to have sex with someone else."

Lawrence: "That's nice. I want to buy a yellow and black pony."

Amanda: "We aren't buying a pony!"

Lawrence: "Nope. And you aren't having sex with anyone else. So what's for dinner?"

But that tends to lead to very short stories (grin). Congrats on the marriage. You realize you need to convert to OSU now, right? It's the opposite procedure of a bris. They actually ADD a penis to a Michigan fan...

Nicely written. I understood the emotions of everyone involved and got drawn into the story. I was 'emotionally invested' even if I didn't like the hero much.

Congrats... or.... You have my deepest Sympathy.... on your upcoming wedding (I am not sure which one fits.)

Your writing really shone in this story, as always-but I would agree with FD45 & twosheddz's comments. You set up the wife to fail and Marge who you had written as the instigator & liar about relationships got a happy ending also.

Great storyline as always though 5****

Marge is like the serpent in the Garden of Eden. She lures Amanda into disaster. Amanda, like Eve, makes a bad choice and is responsible for it but that doesn't give the serpent a pass. And after Marge admittedly lies to Amanda about her situation and her marriage is destroyed, WHO does Amanda turn to? Marge, the cause of her problem to begin with. That is just insane. The story ends with a nicely rehabilitated "Aunty" Marge. I'm not saying that Marge didn't have a tough life. But she used her own bitterness to destroy Amanda's marriage and nothing much is really done about it.

Then we get a schizophrenic description of Amanda's sex life. She says "Rence and I were very comfortable together. Our sex life wasn't very adventurous.". This is the the typical bullshit excuse of a bland sex life. She looking for a little excitement, just not with her husband. Stupid, disrespectful, and not very loving of her husband who she claims to love desperately. But it's also a complete lie. Later she describes the garden sex scene which is probably one of the best and hottest romps on lit. A guy coming home looks at his wife and is overcome with lust and takes he outside in broad daylight. His wife becomes just as lustful as he is. Not adventurous? They very enjoyably fuck every two or three days. What the HELL is she looking for? This whole search for excitement rings incredibly false.

Amanda's denial of the situation is obviously meant to be part of her slide into madness. Lawrence may not have beaten her for her actions but StangStar certainly does. He guts her and it's vicious.

Lawrence's sex romp with Amanda after the divorce is approved is stupid and pointless. He has completely resisted temptation from her for months. In fact, one of the reasons he knows his marriage is over is because he no longer feels attraction to her. He called her a whore, and he is right. So this whore spreads her legs and all of a sudden he is overcome with lust, something he supposedly no longer feels for her? Which is it? No attraction so it's over or uncontrollable lust? He even starts to get playful with her little card game. It's completely out of Lawrence's character to act like this. StangStar just decides to write it in.

The whole divorce-screws-over-the-guy schtick is WAY overblown. Usually what triggers an uneven split is young children. The man has to pay child support and often the wife is given favor to maintain a house and child care. That isn't true here, no young kids. After that, most courts now target a 50/50 split. You list your assets and propose a settlement. If you can't agree, the judge draws a line down the middle. The courts might lean sightly in favor of a woman but that's hardly getting screwed. Further, you don't really need a reason to get divorced. Irreconcilable differences is a generic acceptable "reason". The statements he gets from lawyers saying he doesn't have a chance because he doesn't have "proof" of infidelity is pure crap. In fact, most courts don't want to get into infidelity at all because it is so common, horribly messy to sort out, and really doesn't have much legal status. It's a moral issue, unless you have a prenup. The whole segment is a bogus attempt to put Lawrence into a box that doesn't really exist.

Thanks for a story that could have been written by Robert Wilder or Harold Robbins. It is just that good.

We wish you the best for your future married life. We hope you have time for at least and occasional story in the future. Thanks for all of your work for this site.

It seems that the Rence who dealt with Amanda is very different than the Rence who dealt with the others in this little farce. Marge was the chief bad guy and he just let her slide as well as giving Darrell a big pass, but nothing for old Amanda. I'm not saying he should have forgiven her, I'm just saying that he let the others off too easy. Yes Amanda was his wife and he expected more from her, but he supposedly cared for her much more than any of the others, so why the huge difference in his reactions. The character is way too inconsistent based on how you developed him and such a big discrepency is a major flaw in any literary work.

Sorry to say though, I only gave it a three instead of the usual five. The husband appears to have a multiple personality disorder in the ways he deals with different people. I felt more sympathy for the wife than the husband and that's very unusual for me with my history. Marge and Darrell got off scott free and that just rubbed me the wrong way as well. I also have problems cheering the destruction of someone because of obvious mental illness which apparently everyone in her life ignores, essentially whether they notice it or not they do nothing about it or very little anyway .... despicable.

i did think you babbled a little. 2-6 pages could have been edited out since it didnt directly effect the main storyline, in my opinion.

congrats on your wedding, give us a traditional romance story in tribute to your wedding. =)

P S

remember to include lots of horse power, beer and shotguns. lol

you made the most stupid woman in the world lose her husband. i always seem to root for the woman they are so stupid i would like to see them win once in a while. well done - 5

I like your stories but won't read any more than 6 pages. You want to write novels, then post them there and save a lot of repetiveness.

That was a great story. You write well. Made me feel sorry for the wife.

Characters were inconsistent

Rambling and droning on and on for pages

Sub-plots were illogical

A fool and her honey - brief and witty

Just another old slut - different viewpoint

In the interest of national security - brief and witty

These were all shorter stories but had a good premise, characterization and storyline.

"Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit,

And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,"

Polonius had it right - use what he said as a guideline.

Wow, what a story! My problem is that I love it and hate it in equal proportions. Twenty years of marriage wasted totally due to a lack of communication twixt the spouses.

Somebody was bound to end up the loser. I just cannot make up my mind if the outcome was fair to all concerned - but at the end of the day, I just have to remind myself that it was ONLY a story. Well written and much appreciated. Thank you.

Way waaaaay to long .

realy no need to keep repeating your self

I like a good long story and there is a place for it here. I'm not a fan of the so called flash stories.

With that said, the length needs to be justified. In this case I think a lot could have been trimmed.

But still a good story.

Thanks.

I liked it..long but good, you have a way with words that really comes out good on paper.I especially like the Mustangs that you obviously love. We do not get them here in South Africa. Congrats on your upcomming wedding.

regards

cmo

It was ok until it got stupid at page 9, when I stopped reading 1 star.

I am glad for your wedding. I started reading this story and the first pages are good.

(I have less time reading) I think the mutuality is a hard thing for some people to understand it as Amanda does..............................

I gave it a five only because six wasn't available. I loved the characters, the novel plot, and especially the end. I realize it is a work of fiction and that's what allows the pleasure of enjoying the end. Makes me wonder if any of the homeless ladies in shelters have some elements of this story in their past.

...I did not for a moment believed that Lawrence "loved his wife more than life itself." I found him to be a self-righteous prig and beneath contempt.

this is is a great story. It is awful and boring

Not only is a story way too long but it appears to be 2 or 3 stories wrapped up into one... and none of the sub stories or subplots are done very well or worth reading.

Is this a story about a marriage or a crazy person?

It turns out that Amanda was lied to by Marge... and on the basis of that Lie... Amanda had a misperception and /or misunderstanding about what was going on sexually with Marge. Amanda says several times in the story... and Marge backs this up that if she -- Amanda -knew the truth behind all this cheating hot Marge that has been ranting and raving about... she never would of done it .

That is just not believable and this key premise ruins the entire story. Here is why ...

First Marge and Amanada are LONG time friends. How is it that Marge has absolutely no idea how wonderful loving Rence is ... and how hot the sex still is after 20 years of marriage ... until after Amanda and Marge are caught?

For Marge to asked later on in this story why you -- Amanda -- would risk this fabulous marriage for cheap meaningless sex-- makes the entire premise even more puzzling because this should of been been discussed before cheating was even considered .

SECOND... One would think that Amanda would be furiously enraged over the fact that Marge has been lying to her regarding the actual status of Marge's

marriage. Instead.... Amanda decides to team up again with the person who was instrumental in blowing up her marriage and filling her head with stupid ideas... In the hopes of getting Rence back ??

As for Rence... He mistakenly gives her permission to fuck one guy ome time. It leads to disaster. While most of the actions are clearly Amanda 's fault including her deception about when this is going to take place... rence should've at least been able to figure out that it was a mistake for him to acquiesce.

Then after agreeing to counseling... to call her a whore ... Seems so out of place given Rence's character ...at this point in the story it seems to be a very impulsive thing to say on his part. It seems forced and contrived.

Larry's sex romp with Amanda AFTER the divorce makes no sense. We read and page after page and paragraph after paragraph that he is totally and completely over with Amanda and has no sexual attraction her whatsoever .

Now suddenly he does ???

The conversation after the fight between Marge amd her are husband... is not very well done because several key points are missed. When Rence says "The very fact that you needed to do what you did, showed a lack of respect for me, so the respect is gone" ..... It is not said very well be cause it doesn't drive home the key point.

Amanda had a fabulous marriage and was having red hot sex ALL the time even after 20 years. For her to then wonder what it would be like to fuck another man reveals of several important things about a personality and her mindset. for once it tells Larry that Amanda is taking all the love sex and affection for granted. Second... If Amanda is still thinking about HER and not US given the state of the marriage before all this happened... iIt shows a deep and serious character flaw they cannot possibly be fixed .

The last half of the story appears to be an attempt to show a woman spiraling out of control as you moved into the world of mental insanity. But at this Point I don't see any reason to care whether not a mandate is crazy or cruel or delusional . The last 3 four pages are justa complete waste of time

He is. While I agree somewhat with what Harry had to say. He had the ultimate choice. NO was his answer. That should have been the end of the discussion. If she saw fit to do what she wanted anyways, then that would have been his answer as to whether she really loved him or not. All the Amanda, Marge bullshit in between is irrelevant. His giving permission was his downfall. Suffer the fool.

SS06, you are without a doubt one of my favorite authors. I look forward to your new stories every week. What I have found is that in some of there is a lot of redundancy. It took me a while to get to that point but I am there now. At the outset you indicated that the length had to do with your desire for character development. I don't think you succeeded in that endeavor. Lawrence and Amanda were very basic and I didn't feel they were at all developed beyond that, rather you just seemed to restate things as I mentioned earlier. Unlike another of your commenters I did read the whole story and did enjoy it. I look forward to next week. Lastly, congrats on the nuptials and best of luck.

Good thing I don't own a gun or I would have shot myself in the head for even reading this piece of trash. It was like watching paint dry, or like the engerizer bunny, it just goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on..........................

I think this story is more better than 95% of the stories here so I gives *****. However this idea was written better by an Author who did not publish here on LIT, but SOL only (storiesonline.net).

AANemo's stories "Fiftieth Birthday" "Embarcadero Station" "That look of Love" "One Woman Man" AANemo did not write the cheating exwife any baggy Lady...................to induce some sympathy from some readers. And the exhusbands find their Second Chance woman with child..............

Cheating bastard husbands deserve similar treatment as my 2 near friends deserve, because good stepfathers bring up their children............

I read SS06's stories instead of the sexual minority stories on LW for YEARS/DECADES, but I write several times my critics on SS06's smaller mistakes. Why do not his daughter help her mother to avoid to become baggy Lady. In Beermaker's excellent Modern Figaro Type Revenge story "Dawn the Cheating Slut Wife" the daughter help her mother who became a basket case after the revenge, against she had big role in her father's revenge..........

"I've ruined us," she gasped. "Catch me," she said as she passed out from shock. I didn't even try. I let her fall flat on the floor. I did take her pulse and made sure she was breathing okay then I left her on the floor and went to get something to eat.

I thought that was hilarious! Ha! I really enjoyed this story, best hour of my life.. I love your long stories. Wow what can I say about this brain dead moronic slut wife?! She had a Good marriage but she envied her friend carefree lifestyle so she decided she wanted to fuck other guys just to see what it would be like, it sounds even more stupid as I write it down. First off: her friend (marge) shouldn't have put those thoughts into her head but Amanda is a grown ass woman she shouldn't of been so easily persuaded to throw a 20 fucking years marriage down the crapper. I don't agree nor do I condone marge's activities no matter how disfunctional her marriage is; I agreed with Rence, she should've just divorced him, her going out & fucking random guys brought her down to his level-- a cheating fuckface". Amanda is psychotic she needs help, what irritated me was the fact that she couldn't or won't comprehend why her husband is so angry at her because she didn't even like fucking those two guys in their home, the bitch is dense. I started getting disgusted by Rence when he actually told the dummy to go ahead & do it, he might've justified it as him testing her but obviously the wife is a moron so he should've went ahead & told the dummy just wait until their divorce and she'll have all the time she needs to suck & fuck whomever she pleases. But what disgusted me was him fucking her ... Ewww! This was the same slut who was sucking some stinky smelly dick in a parking lot without a condom, Rence didn't know what her swamp pussy was harboring in its depth! To make it worse he ate her pussy! This made me want to throw up, what the fuck was he thinking?! Obviously not AIDS , syphilis , gonorrhea & herpes. He shouldn't of wanted to touch her with a 10ft poll, yet he eats her nasty pussy & sticks his dick in that sewage she calls a pussy.. I think if marge didn't tell him about the sluts scheme he still would've either been fucking her or cancel the divorce. He should've known she wasn't the same woman he married 20 years ago, she's selfish, inconsiderate, psychotic nut case, she was even stalking him. She needs professional help, something has come loose in her mind/ psyche. She's not thinking correctly at first I thought she was just a typical cheating slut wife who lost her marble after getting caught with a dick in her mouth, I still do think this but she was having a total melt down..I felt really sorry for her towards the end, her appearance has changed so much that her husband of 20 years didn't even recognize her & I'm sure if he did he would've tried to get her some help. Her life sounded miserable , lonely & absolutely hopeless. No one life should turn out this way-- not even gutter sluts. So yeah I felt sorry for her but she caused this on her self, she created her own hell. I have a real problem with Rence ( Lawrence ) agreeing to let her fuck others even if he didn't mean it. He could've stopped the distruction of his " happy ending " if he wanted to. He should've told her where he stood on the matter & what the consequences will be; yeah he shouldn't of had to do this, she should've figured all this out but she's obviously stupid, even as she got started she thought of changing her mind. But still. If & when he spoke of his objections regarding her slutting around and she still went ahead with the stupid idea of fucking other men than he's done his Job as a husband. I'd feel much better if he took this route instead of the "do it" route because the moron took that to heart. But all in all I loved & enjoyed this story thoroughly ...

I think everyone should read Saxon_Hart's comment.as it says a lot in a nutshell. Also read his stories if you haven't already, he is worth the read. I love to read but I can't write for crap and I know it but I know what stories I enjoy. StangStar06 is a very good STORYteller and writer and I look forward to his stories and am thankful he publishes so frequently for our enjoyment..if you want to critique his story to help him improve then so be it, but to criticize because you don't like the character's is ridiculous. it's a story and the character's could have been developed in so many different ways. If you don't like it, write your own story or at least be considerate in your suggestions to these author's to give them other ideas for future stories. I didn't like the length of this story only because I had to split it between 2 nights to get some sleep. I look forward to every story from SS06 and haven't found one yet that I didn't enjoy. Keep them coming SS06 and ignore the harsh critics. Remember people it is called FICTION for a reason.

Stupid Story.

Only a few minor issues didn't sit well with me but the story was generally very good. We need stories like these to counteract the plethora of atrocious WACC yarns being spouted here on a regular basis.

quit reading after awhile, wife listens to friend and destroys her marriage. well she has a college degree but her brain is not thinking clearly. she makes a calculated error. husband walks in and is unforgiving. so much for his macho attitude after so many years together you would assume they could work on repairing the damage. i quess so where she starts destroying her self trying to save her marriage. Both parties could use some therapy. instead he remarries his nurse only to have two more children at the age of 50+ As she becomes a derelect bag lady. SOmuch for a home that could have been saved...too long .

I really liked this story. keep on writing.

because it allows you to fully develop your characters. For example, it was not really clear that Amanda had lost touch with reality until we saw how she repeatedly failed to meet her own requirements to be a good wife. After all how can she expect Rence to want her if she is whoring herself out to "win him back?" A complicated story but very enjoyable - Thanks

To use the vernacular heh

I do think it was a long story (DOH!) but not so long it lost the reader - of course I have been known to get a bit wordy in a conversation - so that works for me.

I am also a tad analytical so seeing all the time spent going through the details - the rationalization, the dead end maneuvering - is just fun.

It MIGHT have been a salvageable relationship - if he had not made the first mistake - or she had not made her second one - but by then it had pretty much started sliding down hill with no brakes.he was speaking without thinking - she was acting without thinking - neither was functioning very well.

What might have saved - - well let me think - more effective communication in the first conversation??? Both of them being a bit more aware that human beings were involved and they do st00pid shit?? Her being a bit more demanding of Marge to understand what Marge later shared - sharing more with Marge so Marge go it earlier???

Take your pick any or all could have mitigated the errors in judgement by both.

Nice job - well presented -

He hits a long one out of the park.

The story is almost as boring and predicable as your Mustang prattling. She made an idiotic choice once in twenty years and he's done with her? What a compassionless twit.

I'm sure you found a way to make her even worse while his virtue soared higher, although I couldn't be bothered to wade through anymore of this pointless dribble.

next time have him hold her down and let someone rape her, then leave her in the gutter to die of aids. this seems to be where you are heading.

I think HarryinVA actually went really easy on you. I could have read the first page, the middle page and the last pages only and I would have missed nothing at all. Everyone has been telling you repeatedly about the length of your stories. I've mentioned it in every possible way, yet you still fuck it up every time. And the repetition! Oh my God!!! I keep telling you, NONE of your stories should be longer than TWO pages. What I mean is that none of YOUR stories EVER has the content that justifies anything longer!!!! It's just not there!! All you do is go round and round in circles!! I keep reading because I keep hoping you'll sort this shit out. But you simply never seem to take notice. *Sigh*

So Sad to see people in life broken. I hate seeing people manipulated by their emotions. Happens to much in real life as well. To bad parents have gotten shittier over the years at raising their children. Seems emotion health is a forbidden or forgotten facet to being a whole person. When you don't have family and the state raises you, you can be sure to be an emotional cripple. No happy endings for me at over 55. Those of you who do have relationships should treasure them.

(1) Marge, through her dishonest manipulations, persuaded Amanda that extramarital sex would somehow enhance her marriage. (2) Marge enabled and assisted Amanda in her schemes to scam Lawrence into staying married. (3) After the divorce was final and after Marge was employed by Lawrence's company, she engaged in behavior which was a clear conflict of interest by attempting to aid Amanda in yet another scheme to scam Lawrence into a reconciliation--a violation of her fiduciary obligation to Lawrence as her employer. Lawrence should have demanded that Marge either (a) terminate her association with Amanda, (b) submit her resignation from employment voluntarily if she will not do (a), or (c) face involuntary termination.

further on down the old road they change more. TK U MLJ LV NV

I hated this. Couldn't even finish it so maybe I have the wrong or incomplete view but Lawrence was an ass and Amanda the victim.

She is deceived into thinking she could help her marriage by exploring sex without him. He gives her a green light and then emotionally abuses her when she does what he said she should. Rather than see he had a chance to stop this and has to take some of the responsibility for the situation, he acts like a child and drives a stake through her heart. Yes, she might have suspected that she was wrong when she started thinking about how to have it both ways. But she still had the false idea that this would help them in the long run. She was an idiot but she seemed to be trying to do something for THEM. I had the definite impression that if he had just talked to her about the why, it would not have turned out the way it did.

At the very least, he should have seen he failed to let her know how he felt when he gave her that stupid 'test' and looked into councilling. Instead he just treated her as damaged and gave up. If she had done it behind his back or after he told her she shouldn't, I would not care how he treats her. If he had talked to her and tried to make her see it wasn't anything that would help THEM and she did it, I wouldn't care either. But to let her think it might help( by silent concent), tell to go ahead and then acted the wronged one in this, just makes him seem the bad guy.

The writing was fine but the characters were so broken, I could just not get into it.

Poor Amanda she was guilty as a bag of stones. This woman loved her man and she was in trouble mentally a little at first and then a lot layer in the story. I found this to be the worst of your stories I've read. I gave it a 5 stars rating because of the detailed description but if it were another author one star. After twenty plus years of marriage counseling should've been the very least consideration to give the marriage given the circumstances. Amanda was a sensitive caring person with certain naivety. Lawrence should've had a heart to heart with Amanda when she mentioned Margie's proposal on trying other men.

No doubt about it, you do the best stupid wife of any author. Again I felt sorry for the ex wife, she was a mess.

Figure husband makes sense, sure Amanda didn't help, but when you factor in the betrayal of the wife and fact that she could have opted not to try another man. And looks like Amanda didn't have any further influence in bad behavior and choices, after that it was all the wife on her own power.

gotta have a bad one also to go with all the good ones

I'm amazed that so many of the husbands in your stories can walk on water. They must be able to since they have never made a mistake except when they have sex again with their soon to be ex wife. And Marge, oh please. Never any bruises where hubby beat her for someone to see. If she was willing to have Amanda cheat on her husband, she sure as hell wouldn't give a rat's ass if she was fucking a lawyer in order to get hubby back. Just like bro's before hoes, its hoes before hubbies.

I've read this story more than once and I can never get past the fact that Marge ended up happy. I place a good deal of blame on her for his marriage going bust. Good story though.

I'm sorry but this one is out there for fiction even. Marge screwed with Amandas head and she gets the life of Riley? This one the husband is totally to blame,well make not totally but over 90%. He set her up for failure and ends up with the hottie and turns her daughter against her? First he agrees, she is not a mind reader that he may be testing her. He saw her get drunk the second time and just sat back and waited for something to happen to catch her. Please, I've seen people be totally drunk off their asses and look normal. When he saw her rebuffing the ass wipe and she had another how many drinks and then just follows her out hoping to find her or letting her get into a car to drive drunk under the pretence of he wanted to see what she would do... nope sorry Stang this time you killed it. Yes she was screwed in the head to start in the first place but he was looking to trade up. And the daughter wrote her off? Rence wasn't a saint and the story missed the point on this. I like most of your work so for that alone I gave a 4. Just call it as I see it.

As usual a top notched story but it had some troubling overtones concerning Amanda. We're all not high flyers and grounded and confident and in great mental health as exhibited in your presentation of Amanda. Amanda needed an intervention at the very least encouragement or a helping hand. Most of us humans go through rough patches in our lives and our marriages for varying reasons. Amanda was at the precipice of failure and gently abandoned to her own demise. It would've been more merciful to put her out hard and cold than the manner this character was manipulated. Just my input. Otherwise, very interesting. I feel the hero stays of the protagonist is substantially diminished when they are cold blooded and calculating on a weaker individual. Thank you for your effort.

the best is to break close to even. TK U MLJ LV NV

Amanda needed some mental help. Did no one in her family even care enough to help? Apparently not.

I still really loved the story as it was told by a pro. I'm just left sad at the end.

Great story but you made a moron out of an intelligent wife.

AND... in fact the husband isn't much better.

On balance my sympathy is with... Amanda!

Lawrence shares a lot of the blame here.

He told her, "Okay, do it," then he gets mad when she does.

He should have said, "I don't give a fuck what Marge does, you do this and we're through!" If she gets mad and goes off anyway, the blame is on her.

She's all apologetic NOW, and quick to tell Amanda how dumb she was to cheat on Lawrence, but she KNEW how they loved each other, and she went out of her way to convince Amanda that she needed to "try out" other guys.

Now, this doesn't excuse Amanda's stupidity in not recognizing what she had, but for Marge to act shocked, SHOCKED by Amanda's actions is ludicrous.

Rence did say she could fuck another guy but never said he would stick around afterwards. Yeah his test was bullshit, but seeing as she fucked two guys not one, all while planning on lying to him about not having done the dead, I think its fair to believe if he had of saying "no fucking way" she would of just cheated on the sly. Seeing how their happy life went to utter shit from the moment she mentioned her fucking around to begin with, she knew shit was going to be fucked up badly.

I hated how Marge got off scot free in this one. She fucked with Amanda marriage for zero reason yet gets a better life out of it. No reason to keep someone around who helped stab you in the back and fuck up your life.

Too long. Too sad. Too unbelievable.

I know the BTB's will scorch me, and the cuck haters would scream bloody murder, but this is one of the few LW stories where hubby not leaving would have been believable and reasonable.

Was her initial request foolish and stupid? Yes.

Was she wrong to get sneaky with the date? Yes.

But he told her to do it. He never told her there would be consequences, she didn't like it and she regretted it.

Instead of shutting her out, he should have immediately started counseling.

Maybe they wouldn't have gotten past it, but at least they might have had a chance.

needed to survive and un-re-boot...TK U MLJ LV NV

You did it again, another good story. However, if you go back to the very beginning when she asked her husband about trying another man, he should have told her not just no but hell no! He opened the door to the whole sorry mess.

Maybe she would have done it anyway on the sly, but she would have went into the cheating knowing what was going to happen when she was caught.

How could anyone who is supposedly fighting to save her marriage go to a bar and cheat again in the parking lot of the bar? When she does this she turns into another of the authors stupid cheating wives doing something that makes no sense.

I did catch the irony of the friend Marge, who started all this, ending with the better life.

...Everytime I read on of your stories I keep on reading till the end. You´ve got a way of writing that simply captures your readers. Keep up this way, - nothing else to say as it all has been said. Truely your fan.

@xtchr: Wouldn´t have changed anything. Once she had developed that idea of hers, he couldn´t have stopped her. Him saying "no" would just have led to her going behind his back - curiosity kills the cat, right?

For the first time one of your storys leaves me uneasy,i'm not the BTB kind of guy ,if necessary you get a divorce and that's it,you can stay civil without calling eachother names like whore ,it was obvious that she regretted what she did and wanted to amend ,she became desperate and in the end probably insane with grieve and regret,is this what he wanted? if he did then congrats he got it

Trouwing a nurse his way who gets pregnant is a little part of the story ,allmost at the end ,

It would be a good idea to remember everyone that getting a divorce at this age leaves you mostly allone, bitter and lonely ,it needs a writer to give him a nurse and two kids because i the real world this rarely happens

One of your better stories. I differ with KarenE in that even if he told her to go ahead and screw another guy, if she had anything more than shit for brains, she should not have done it. Lawrence must have been in shock at her request as well. Cheers!