My Happy Ending

"Amanda, I was always attracted to you from the very first second that I saw you. That was mostly lust, but over time something more important developed. It's called love. Love is this terrible thing. It's like a drug that alters your perception. It just fucks up all of your senses. When you're in love with a woman and she farts, love makes it not smell so bad. Love made me bust my ass at my job for all of these years. Love made me dream of the time when our kids were grown up and I could spend my time learning even more about the woman I loved. Love makes me go out and run and lift weights every day so I can stay in shape so you could be proud to be seen with me, because love lets me know that you could easily get yourself another guy."

"Love even makes me see you differently honey," he said. "As the years went by, love made me think that your ass getting wider was a good thing. Love made me not care about the changes in you as you got older. Nothing mattered but the inside. The outside is only a shell and inside you're still that same young woman I fell in love with. Over the years you've put up with a lot of shit from me Amanda. There have been times when I'd see you and just be totally overcome with lust for you, even lately."

"I was just thinking about that time you fucked me in the garden," I said. I had to rub my legs together even as I said it. "That was only a couple of weeks ago, Rence. So you obviously still find me attractive, even after all of these years. I just don't see what the problem is. I did a stupid thing. I regret it. I'm not a child. I know that we can't just get back together. There is going to be a period of time where you're really pissed at me. You're going to want to punish me in some way. I can accept that. What I did was exceptionally selfish. Maybe I just wasn't thinking. Maybe I was having a mid-life crisis or something. Hell, I'm a dowdy forty something woman. I have to accept that fact. Maybe this was just my last gasp at seeing if I'm still attractive to someone other than you, Rence."

"You can be pretty selfish and pretty hurtful yourself," I said. "You went out and just bought yourself an expensive new car that I'm not only not allowed to drive, I can't even ride in it? So you know how badly that hurt me?"

"Would it have made you feel better if I just went out and found myself some young woman to fuck?" he asked. I looked at him with horror written all over my face.

He saw the expression and smiled. "Why would that not be fair?" he asked. "One of your points was that it was okay for Marge to go out and fuck guys because her husband was doing it. Why shouldn't I do it, since you did?"

I didn't have an answer so I just looked at my shoes. "Rence, please don't do that," I said. "Part of my problem is that I just don't know what you find so attractive about me. When I look in the mirror, more and more I see my mother. You, on the other hand, are still the same size you were when we met."

"Yeah, minus some hair, plus a few wrinkles and I run a hell of a lot slower," he said. "Plus the fact that the hair I have left is starting to gray while yours is even darker than it was when we met. You have a few gray strands but nothing like me."

"That's because I dye it, you idiot," I said.

"Anyway, back to the subject," he said. "When you did what you did, it just changed everything. It was as if you were a different person, Amanda. You were no longer the woman I love to sit down and spend time with. You're just not the woman who carried my babies and raised them with me. It's like if you are that same woman, then I have to be different because I don't see you the same way. If you use the analogy from before that love makes you see things differently, then it must mean that the love is gone because when I look at you it's just not the same. Remember the other night when I came home and you were wearing...um your...whatever it was?" I nodded, remembering my failure to seduce him.

"If you'd done that before all of this happened, knowing us, what do you think would have happened?"

I smiled knowing very well what would have happened. "We'd have made love," I said quietly.

"Amanda, that wouldn't have been making love," he said smiling. "We would have fucked. I would have loved you just as much but it would have been pure lust. Maybe it would have been mitigated by love, but it would have been intense and uncontrollable, like the time in the garden.

"I'd have fucked you so hard your tubes would have gotten untied and you'd have ended up pregnant again. And truthfully..." he looked me straight in the eye and I could see that he was being honest with me.

"Truthfully, the way your titties were showing through that top and the way your ass looked with you bent over that counter...we'd still be going at it now."

Marge was looking at us crazily. And I was so horny I was about to burst. I was sliding closer to him as we spoke.

"Rence, why didn't we then?" I asked.

"Because things aren't the same anymore," he said. "Before you did what you did, we were a set and we fit together. There was nothing between us...There was nothing to separate us or keep us apart. We were a part of each other. We belonged together. After what you did, I wasn't your man. I don't feel like your mate. I just feel like one guy among others, who's lined up to fuck you. Sorry, but that's not my style. The things that I really love, I don't share. And with the love gone, I guess I just don't see you the same way."

I was close enough to touch him and Marge's eyes were huge. Suddenly he just turned away from me and walked away. He went up the stairs to bed.

"I'm sorry Amanda," gushed Marge. "That was fucking awesome. I got so horny just listening to the two of you talking that I was hoping you'd start fucking cause I was definitely going to join in. You are even stupider than I first realized. Why the hell would you risk that? You need to get him back. If you can't fix this, I'm going after him myself."

* * * * * *

Rence

When I got up to go to work the next day, I felt even worse. I almost put my briefcase down on top of Marge who was lying on my couch. Amanda had given her a blanket and she was sleeping in some of Amanda's old sweats. They were baggy on Amanda but fit Marge tighter. Marge had bigger tits than Amanda and luckily they were covered. She'd kicked the blanket partially off during the night but the only thing that was uncovered was one of her lower legs. For a thicker woman her legs were well shaped and tapered to a very slender ankle. I had to admit that her legs were nice.

I left without breakfast because I didn't want to make any kind of noise that would awaken Amanda. I wasn't ready for another emotional confrontation.

When I got to work I walked into my office and Angel grabbed me immediately. "Boss you have to do something," she said.

"No I don't," I said. "That's why I'm the boss, because I don't have to do anything. I can just have someone else do it."

"Not this time buddy," she said. "You HAVE to do something because A, you have something to do with it; and B, you'll regret it if you don't. Now come on." She grabbed my hand and dragged me down the hall.

When we got further down the hallway, I could see a few of my guys gathered outside of one of the offices. I heard drawers closing and opening. I wondered what the hell was going on. I looked into the office and saw Darrell packing his belongings. After a few moments, he noticed me and picked up an envelope off of the desk. He turned and moved towards me. He stayed way more than arm's length away from me and handed me the letter.

"I've tried for over a week to talk to you," he said. "I feel really bad about what happened and since you have no intention of talking to me about this or even allowing me the chance to explain or apologize, I have to go." It sounded like his voice was on the verge of breaking.

"I really enjoyed working here," he continued. "I learned so much from you that we never even thought about in school. This wasn't just a job. It was more like a dream. I'd offer to shake your hand, but I'm sure you'd even turn that down. I'm putting my stuff into open boxes so the security guys can go through it. I'll try to be done and out of here in under an hour so I don't take up anyone's time unnecessarily."

I looked around and several of the guys were smiling. On the other hand, I felt like shit. I felt lower than shit. And I felt lower than shit on several different levels. First off, professionally, I hadn't been professional. I'd hid from him and skipped or avoided meetings just because I didn't want to do him the courtesy of even hearing him out. Since I was going through a rough time and I was hurting, I just hid from it like a spoiled child. All of the guys who were smiling about him leaving were assholes. They knew that with him here they would never have a chance of replacing me when I left. They also knew that he made them look pretty bad because his work was better, faster and far more reliable than what they gave us. I was doing both myself and the company a disservice by my actions.

Secondly, on a personal level, I was just as bad. Deep down from all of the things I'd heard from both Marge and from Amanda, Darrell didn't have any idea of who Amanda was. He was so used to screwing Marge and some of her friends that he had no idea who Amanda was. Also, from what I gathered, the white guy had been the one they brought in to screw Amanda. She and Darrell just kind of happened.

I guess I owed him at the very least the chance to talk about it, but I'd been so hurt because under normal circumstances...that is if finding out your wife has screwed another guy can ever be called normal circumstances...Darrel was probably the person I'd have talked to about it. He and I got along so well that we tended to confide in each other. So finding out that Darrell had screwed Amanda was like a double blow.

When I was a kid, I used to watch the Lone Ranger all the time. All over the west, everyone wanted to know who the hell the Lone Ranger was. The bad guys wanted to know so they could kill him. The good guys wanted to know so they could reward him. But no one could ever get the mask off of him to tell who he was. Darrel screwing Amanda was like Tonto ripping the Lone Ranger's mask off himself. It hurt twice as bad.

"If you guys don't have anything to do other than standing around here gawking," I began. "I can always find you something to do or just send you home for the day...without pay of course." Within in seconds the hallway was clear.

I stepped into Darrell's office and closed the door behind me. I held up the letter he'd written and tore it to shreds in front of him.

"Darrell, I don't know how we get past this," I said. "But we will. Look, I don't know how it happened and right now it's just too raw to really talk about. It's still painful just thinking about it, but Darrell, give me some time and we'll work this out. I'm sorry about avoiding you and I really haven't been good for much since this all started, but trust me I'm working on it. I promise you that by the end of the day, I'll have new assignments for you." He nodded and I left. On my way out I noticed that two of the guys were making paper airplanes.

In all honesty, as I went back to my office I felt better. Maybe it was the fact that at least I'd done the right thing for the company and that was a step in the right direction. My journey back to some semblance of normal was one step closer to being over it.

As I said, I was feeling better as I stepped into my office. Angel made that better feeling go away. She held out the phone to me and I answered it without thinking about it.

"Rence, I thought about everything you said and I realized that you were right. Can we talk some more about this when you get home? I have an idea and I'll make all of the arrangements. Can we try marriage counseling? If the counseling doesn't work, I'll give you the divorce and a completely fair fifty/fifty split," said Amanda. Her voice was wavering as if she was on the verge of losing it too.

I just didn't understand any of this shit. I was the one who got cheated on. I was the one who got hurt. Why the fuck was everyone else crying?

"Alright Amanda," I said. "I'll try the counseling." I hung up.

By the end of the day I'd emailed Darrell two new assignments. As usual, I gave him his pick of them. One was a new account, the other was a job that Gary had fucked up and was running behind schedule and over budget. He emailed me back and asked which was more critical. I told him Gary's job was and he picked it.

I got home to find Marge still in our house. Apparently she was afraid to go home. Amanda sat down and told me about the counselors she'd found and when we could start. She was very excited about it. I picked one name out of the ones she gave me solely because it was at the top of the list. She hurried away and made a call. "She has an open appointment this evening and one tomorrow afternoon," she said.

"Let's take the one tomorrow," I said. "I've already had enough stress today. I need to run and then maybe a drive to relax."

"Can we have dinner and talk?" she said. "Or could I go on your drive with you?"

"I don't think either would be good," I said.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Amanda, I agreed to the counseling thing because I really want to give us a chance to save things. We've been married for over twenty years and I really hate the idea of flushing that all down the drain. But if we need to flush it, we need to do it and get it done so I can start over. There's no need to stretch the pain out any longer than it has to be. Right now I don't feel any differently about you than I did last night. Every time I see you, all I feel is pain and regret. I loved you so much and for so long that it's painful for me to even see you and know that we can't be together. At the same time, those images of you fucking that guy and then walking over to Darrell and Marge so he could have a turn have simply scarred the retina of my memory. Every time I see you, that's all I see and it hurts me."

"Then maybe you need to burn those memories away with some better ones," she said. "Instead of you getting a work out by running why don't you come upstairs and get a workout on me. I'll let you do any nasty thing you want to do to me for as long as you want. That way when you think about me that will be what you remember, not the time before," she said.

"So how is remembering that I got a turn on some woman that a lot of guys fuck going to replace what I lost?" I asked. "Those women who work in the chicken ranch in Las Vegas fuck a lot of guys, but none of those guys own them either. Giving me one turn among many guys can't take the place of a woman that I loved who was all mine and you'll never be that again. Amanda, maybe the counselor knows some tricks or something to help with that, but for right now we're doing more damage than good," I said.

"But Rence, I want you so bad," she said. "Ever since you brought it up yesterday, I can't stop thinking about what it would have been like if you had fucked me the other night. And I keep remembering what it was like when we did it in the mud in the garden. Dammit, I'm horny. Do I have to beg you?"

"Begging won't help," I said. "It's just not going to happen. My lawyers all said the same thing. Having sex with you while trying to get a divorce from you, could lead to me losing. It would send a message that I condoned what you did or that I was okay with it."

"I've rubbed myself raw today," she said. She stepped closer to me.

"Why don't you call one of Marge's friends or go on Craig's list," I said. "You could always hit the bars with Marge. But please don't go after Darrell again. We're finally back on emailing terms and believe it or not, I really get the impression that he's sorry for his part in it and he really didn't know."

"So you can begin to make up with Darrell but not with your own wife, huh?" she said.

"Amanda, Darrell didn't promise to keep himself only to me," I snapped. "He's also single. You, on the other hand, were a married woman who just wanted to go out for some strange dick because you got bored or you thought one of your friends was doing it or you were curious or some other dumb assed reason. You got what you wanted now live with the consequences. I've already told you from now on we are not a couple. We're just living in the same house because I don't want to get raped in a divorce. If you're that horny, just go out and fuck somebody, all of the other whores do."

I don't know why I said it. The second that it was out of my mouth, I regretted it. But she turned on her heel and fled the room. I went and changed and went out for my run. When I came back Amanda was out on the deck and she was angry enough to spit nails.

I showered and got ready to go out. I felt guilty about the way things had ended with Amanda. I realized that she was going through as rough a time as I was. But the difference to me was that she'd caused it. I left the house and went out for a drive. For some reason my guilt bothered me so I decided to go back home and talk to her.

Since I got the Mustang, my driving style has totally changed. Maybe I need to get used to the car and maybe it's also related to my mood since Amanda fucked those guys. But I've been driving far more aggressively than before. I've also noticed that I hate stop lights. So when I decided to turn around and go back and talk to Amanda, I'd pulled off of the main road and took the side streets to avoid the traffic lights. It was a mostly industrial area that skirted ours so there were very few homes and the streets were deserted since it was after working hours.

As I got ready to pull back onto the main road, I noticed Amanda's car going by. For some reason when traffic cleared instead of turning right and going home, I turned left and followed her. I kept my distance so she wouldn't see or hear my car, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out where she was going. I thought that maybe she was just pissed about the stupid thing I'd said to her, so maybe she was going out for a drive as well.

I was surprised when she pulled into a kind of seedy bar. There weren't very many people inside. It wasn't a glitzy nightclub type place or a sports bar; it was just a dingy room where mostly older men went to drink. Amanda got out of her car and went inside. There were a couple of small windows that I could see into. I pulled my car around the corner and got out and watched her through the window.

Amanda was sitting at the bar putting away liquor at a rate I'd never have believed. After a while I noticed a guy going over to her. He held up a couple of fingers and the bartender brought over a couple of more drinks. We didn't keep a lot of liquor in our home because neither of us really drank very much. That was probably why Amanda had come here.

She kept telling the guy to get away from her or at least that was what it looked like. She kept shaking her head and pointing at the table he'd come from. After a few more drinks, she just stopped telling him to go. They started talking in earnest and I'd have paid good money to hear what they were talking about.

I continued to watch and they got up and started walking toward the door. As they left the bar, the guy had his arm draped around her and a handful of her ass. His hand was actually cupping her ass cheek and he was leading her by it. I also noticed that he was the sneaky looking guy from the other night.

He walked her over to her car and pushed her against it. He pulled her skirt up, right there in the parking lot.