My Mother is the One that I Love

'How dare I,' I thought? 'What's wrong with me to sexually solicit my mother as if she's a whore that I tried to pick up on the street?'

Yet, at the very least, by telling her how I truly, sexually felt about her, I hoped beyond hope that I put a bug in her bonnet. I hoped she'd think about having sex with me in the way that I always thought about having sex with her.

'Now that I opened the door by giving her the thought and the possibility of having incestuous sex with me, she was thinking about having forbidden sex with me, and would reconsider having sex mother and son sex with me. After making the first move by asking my mother if she'd have sex with me, I hoped that she'd make the next sexual move by agreeing to have sex with me. How hot would that be to have sex with my mother?'

# # #

"Don't be silly, James," she said with a frown as if she was disappointed that we couldn't have sex. "We can't have sex," she said shaking her head to reinforce her answer that we couldn't have sex. "Just as you can't fuck your mother, I can't fuck my son," she said. "That's so wrong. That's so nasty."

She continued shaking her head from side to side as if she needed that extra bit of head movement to stop herself from thinking about having sex with me. Nonetheless, my mother gave me an image of her fucking me and me fucking my mother. Having never heard my mother say the work 'fuck', she sexually excited me when she said that I can't fuck my mother and she can't fuck her son. Now, all that I could think of was fucking my mother fast and hard enough to give her a sexual orgasm with my cock.

'James! James! Oh, my God, James,' I imagined my mother say as I fucked her faster and harder. 'Don't stop. Please don't stop. I'm cumming. Mommy is cumming,' I imagined her saying.

Then, she burst my sexual fantasy of me fucking my mother by continuing why we couldn't have sex.

"I'm your mother. Sex between a mother and son is not only illegal in most states but also its frowned upon and forbidden by society. I'd be embarrassed for anyone to know that we were sharing a bed while having sex," she said. "I'd be humiliated for anyone to know that I had sucked and fucked your cock and you had eaten and fucked my pussy."

If my mother thought that she was defusing the situation by telling me that we couldn't have sex and why we couldn't have sex, she accomplished just the opposite. Having never heard my mother say sucked and fucked my cock, she made me hot by her saying eaten and fucked her pussy. Now, all that I could think of, the only thing that I could think of was my mother sucking and fucking my cock. All that I could think of, the only thing that I could think of was eating my mother's pussy and fucking my mother's cunt.

She remained silent with a long time as if she was thinking about sharing her bed with me while having sex with me. Then, as if she'd be embarrassed for me to see her naked, she told me what she was thinking. Only, instead of making me feel guilty, she made me want to see her without her clothes.

"Not only would I be embarrassed for you to see me naked but also, I'd be equally as embarrassed to see you naked," she said clearly lying. "I don't need you to see me naked nor do I need to see you naked to know that I can't have sex with you, James. I just can't. I'm sorry but we can't have sex. Sex between us will never happen," she said shaking her head from side to side again as if she needed that extra head movement to reinforce her answer. "Gross. That's so gross."

With her not fooling me, knowing her well enough that she didn't mean what she said, nothing but lip service, I wondered what she was really thinking about. I didn't know what she was thinking. I had no idea.

Now that I told her what I wanted, I needed to know what she wanted. I was curious to know what she wanted. Was she thinking about having sex with me? Was she imagining me fingering her pussy while licking her pussy before fucking her pussy? Was she thinking about stroking my cock while sucking my cock and before fucking my cock?

A desperate move on my part, hoping that would entice her to have sex with me, I was tempted to stand and unzip myself. I was tempted to pull out my prick and show my mother my erect, naked cock. I was tempted to stroke myself in front of her. Willing to do whatever it takes for us to have sex, I was tempted to masturbate myself in front of my mother and allow her to watch me cum.

All that I know is in the way that she looked at me now was the way that she had never looked at me before. She looked at me as if she was turning down a potential suitor for sex instead of turning down her son for sex. Unless I was misreading her, instead of flatly turning me down, she looked at me as if she wanted to have sex with me as much as I wanted to have sex with her.

'Wouldn't that be something to have sex with my mother,' I thought. 'Wouldn't that be something to make out with her. Wouldn't that be something to slowly strip her naked while touching and feeling her naked body everywhere? Wouldn't that be something to show my mother my naked prick and masturbate in front of her while she watched.'

"Besides," she said with another long pause as if she had been thinking about having sex with me. "Why would you want to have sex with an old lady like me when there are plenty of young, sexy, and desirable women out there your age who'd love to have sex with you," she said putting on her reading glasses before returning back to her work?

With this my chance to get all that I wanted to say to my mother off of my chest, I persevered. Having nothing more to lose, I've already made a fool of myself by asking my mother if she'd have sex with me. Yet, in the way that she looked at me, I had a glimmer of hope that she wanted to have sex with me as much as I wanted to have sex with her. Daring my mother to embrace a mother and son incestuous, sexual relationship, I cracked open a door that my mother had never considered looking behind.

# # #

"From the time that I turned eighteen-years-old to the time that I graduated college and moved out at 22-years-old, I've always masturbated over you while imagining you naked and having sex with you," I confessed.

I looked at her to see her reaction to me confessing that I masturbated over her while imagining her naked and her having sex with me. Already making my mother feel uncomfortable by my asking her such a sexually inappropriate question, hoping to convince her to have sex with me, I persevered with the sexual seduction of my mother. I continued with my probing, sexual questions. I needed to know if the way that she sexually felt about me was the same way that I sexually felt about her.

"Sometimes I masturbated three and four times a day while imagining you in your bra and panties, topless, and naked. Hearing you walking up the stairs and down the hall towards my bedroom with my laundry, I've even stripped myself naked. I've masturbated myself with my eyes closed and with my headphones on while hoping you'd barge in my bedroom without knocking and catch me sexually pleasuring myself," I said.

I looked at her to see how she reacted to that confession of masturbation and exhibitionism.

"In the way that I wanted to see your naked breasts, your naked pussy, and your naked ass, I wanted you to see my naked prick. I was hoping you'd stay to watch me masturbating myself. I wanted you to watch me cum."

My mother looked at me stunned. She looked at me embarrassed because she had done just that. She had barged in my bedroom without knocking. She saw me naked. She saw my naked, erect prick. Then, when she saw me masturbating myself, she stayed to watch me cum. Without her knowing, I recorded her on my computer raising her nightgown to her waist, removing her breasts from the top of her nightgown, and masturbating herself to me masturbating myself.

Yet, there was still that glimmer of sexual arousal. No matter her denials, I knew better. She seemed to like what she was hearing. She seemed to enjoy what I was sexually saying. By her nipples fully erected through her blouse and bra when I asked her if we could have sex, I had made her wet with sexual desire for me in the way that I had made my cock hard for her.

Leaving nothing unsaid, again, feeling like the incestuous pervert that I am, I was embarrassed that I told my mother that I masturbated over her while imagining her naked and her having sex with me. Yet, not admitting anything to her for years even though I wanted to, I needed to say all that I wanted and needed to say now. This was my chance to have sex with my mother. If this was the only way to sexually seduce my mother, I needed to have sex with her by admitting my sexual feelings for her.

# # #

"Seriously," she asked looking at me with flash of sexual arousal? "You masturbated over me while imagining me naked and having sex with me," she asked while seemingly surprised that I masturbated over her? "Oh, James. With the whole house shaking, I knew you masturbated but I had no idea that you've been sexually lusting over me. I had no idea that you had been masturbating over me. I had no idea that you wanted to have sex with me. I can't believe you recorded me on your computer masturbating myself," she said turning red with embarrassment.

'I always wondered if that would make a difference confessing to my mother that I wanted to have sex with her,' I thought. 'Seemingly, it did. Seemingly, now that she knew that I had always wanted to have sex with her, she seemed more interested in having sex with me than when I first asked her the question, if we could have sex.'

I smiled at her while imagining her sitting across from me naked. I smiled at her while imagining her bending at the waist and allowing me to fuck her from behind. I imagined fucking my mother while reaching around her to fondle her big tits while pulling, turning, and twisting her erect nipples.

"Yes," I said. "I've always wanted to have sex with you, mother," I reiterated.

I was tempted again to strip myself naked, expose my naked, erect prick to her, and masturbate myself in front of her. I wondered what she'd do and/or say if I exposed myself to her. I wondered what she'd do and/or say if I masturbated in front of her. I wondered if she'd stay to watch me stroke my cock or if she'd leave the room. I wondered if watching me cum would sexually excite her enough to make her want to have sex with me. Surely, watching my mother masturbate herself made me want to have sex with her.

Being the incestuous sick son that I am, couldn't help myself, I had this sudden uncontrollable need to expose myself to my mother. I wondered if she'd look at my naked cock, stare at my naked prick, or look away. I wondered if she'd reach out and touch me in the way that I wanted to reach out and touch her. Yet, controlling myself from doing do, I embarrassed my mother enough for one day by asking her if we could have sex.

Still not believing me that I wanted to have sex with her, she made a face as if I was pulling her leg. Nonetheless, she looked at me with more sexual interest than she looked at me before. By asking her if we could have sex, I had pushed a button in my mother that had never been pushed before.

Perhaps, she had thought about having sex with me and, burying the thought, had pushed that thought aside. Then, now that I had confessed that I wanted to have sex with her, having sex with me was more of a reality. Now, that she knew how I truly, sexually felt about her, it was up to her to have sex with me.

"Now, why when you had a beautiful, twenty-four-year-old girlfriend like Aurora, would you want to have sex with your forty-eight-year-old mother?"

Confessing everything to my mother as if she was my therapist, I nodded my head. It was a fair question for her to ask. Indeed, why would I want to have sex with her over a woman my age or younger? Clearly, it didn't make sense to my mother why I'd want her over my sexy and beautiful girlfriend.

# # #

"Why would I want to have sex with you? The real question is, why wouldn't I want to have sex with you? Look at you, you're beautiful. You're sexy. And you know how I feel about woman with big breasts. You have big breasts," I said with a dirty laugh while staring at my mother's blouse and bra clad breasts. "I would love to not only see your naked breasts but also, I'd love to feel your naked breasts, fondle your naked breasts, and suck your erect nipples."

After I put it all out there, my mother put her hand to her mouth as if shocked. Feigning her embarrassment, my mother nodded her head to show me that she agreed with all that I said about her being beautiful, sexy, and having big tits. Yet, I still had no idea what she was thinking. Was she thinking about having sex with me or was she thinking that her son was a sick bastard to want to have sex with his mother?

"Besides, a deal breaker, Aurora wanted me to put a ring on her finger. She wanted me to get down on one knee and propose marriage to her. With her looking through bridal magazines, she wanted me to marry her. She wanted children. Not even sure if she was the one, I wasn't ready to commit to her. I wasn't ready for marriage and I surely wasn't ready for children. I'm not even sure if I want children," I said with a sad shrug.

She nodded her head again to show me that she understood my reasons for breaking up with Aurora.

"You're still young, James. You're only twenty-four-years-old. Perhaps, Aurora wasn't the right one. Clearly, you didn't love her, not now anyway," she said. "Perhaps, you'll feel differently after this separation. Maybe, you'll decide that you can't live without her and want to settle down, marry her, and have children."

My mother continued staring at me while I continued staring at her. Obviously, I had hit a nerve by asking her if we could have sex. Wishing that I could read her mind, I continued wondering what she was thinking. A continued mystery, I wondered if she was thinking of having sex with me in the way that I was thinking of having sex with her. Then, easing into having sex with my mother, I had an idea that she may like and that may ease us into having sex.

# # #

"If we can't have sex, what about us making out with one another? I'd love to kiss you, mother. I'd love to French kiss you while touching and feeling you through your clothes," I said. "Then, if you're okay with me doing that, I'd love to slowly undress you while slowly stripping you naked and touching and feeling your naked body everywhere."

When I asked her if I could make out with her while touching and feeling her through her clothes, a telling sign that she was sexually aroused, I watched her nipples become erect through her blouse and bra again. Clearly obvious through her clothes, my mother had such big nipples. I'd love to suck her nipples while fondling her naked breasts and fingering her naked pussy. In the way that I'd love for my mother to stroke my cock and masturbate me, I'd love to rub my mother's clit and finger her pussy while masturbating her.

Hoping that I had uncovered my mother's secret, sexual fantasy, perhaps, she masturbated herself when imagining making out with me and while I touched and felt her everywhere through her clothes. Perhaps, with her seeming interested, instead of going all of the way, she wanted to have touchy and feely sex with me as much as I wanted to have touchy and feely sex with her. Perhaps, once she was sexually aroused enough, she'd eventually love me to strip her naked while I touched and felt her naked body everywhere that a son should never touch and feel his naked mother.

Not having to wonder if my mother masturbated, I knew she did. I saw her dildo and her vibrator when I was snooping through her underwear drawer. And one time, late at night, when I couldn't sleep, I heard her masturbating while I roamed the house. Tempted to barge in her bedroom to ask her if she need my finger, my tongue, and/or my cock, yet, not wanting to ruin things by rushing things, I controlled myself from embarrassing her.

"You'd really make out with your mother," she asked while continuing the sexually inappropriate conversation instead of putting an end to it?

Giving me the eye, she looked at me as if she wanted me to kiss her. She looked at me as if she wanted me to make out with her while touching her and feeling her through her clothes. She looked at me as if she wanted me to strip her naked and touch and feel her naked body everywhere.

I smiled. Where she didn't seem interested in having sex with me, she seemed interested in making out with me. I'd love to make out with my mother. I'd love to feel her big tits and finger her erect nipples through her bra and blouse. I'd love to feel her shapely ass through her short skirt. I'd love to reach beneath her skirt and cupped and fingered her pussy through her panties while making out with her.

"I'd love to make out with you, mother," I said. "I'd love to know what it feels like to romantically kiss you. I'd love to touch and feel your beautiful body everywhere. I'd love to make you hot with sexual passion for me that you'd want to have sex with me."

She laughed at me wanting to romantically kiss her. Then, as if she was thinking about making out with me, she paused. I wondered what she was thinking. Then, she said something that surprised me and sexually excited me.

"If we're going to be forbidden lovers and if we're going to have incestuous sex, you must call me Caroline instead of mother," she said with a laugh and a sexy smile. "Calling me mother while we have sex is wrong. Calling me mother while having forbidden sex with me would be a constant reminder that what we were doing in having sex with one another was wrong."

She was right. I needed to call her Caroline instead of mother. I returned her sexy smile with my sexy smile.

'By what she said does that mean that she'd have sex with me,' I wondered? 'With her giving me mixed signals, confused, I didn't know. I couldn't tell if she wanted to have sex with me or not. At the very least, I'd love to make out with my mother while feeling her through her clothes. I'd love to have sex with my mother while masturbating her pussy. I'd love to make love to her and fuck her.'

# # #

"Okay, Caroline," I said.

My mother closed up her work. Then, she said something that I'll never forget for the rest of my life. Not only had she agreed to make out with me but also, she was changing into her nightgown.

"Just let me change into my nightgown and we'll watch that movie that you like, the one about the mother breaking her leg and her son helping her shower," she said giving me a sexy smile and a naughty look.

'Oh, my God,' I couldn't believe it. 'With her wearing her skimpy nightgown instead of her blouse, bra, skirt, and panties, I was about to make out with my nearly, naked mother. Forget about feeling her bra and panties through her clothes, I was about to feel her naked ass, her naked tits, and her naked pussy through her nightgown. I couldn't believe my mother agreed to make out with me while allowing me to have my wicked, sexual with her nearly, naked body.'

I returned my mother's sexy smile and naughty look with my sexy smile and naughty look.

"You mean, Spanking the Monkey? Yeah, that's a good movie. That movie is all about mother and son sex," I said giving my mother the eye.

She smiled at me and nodded her head again.

"Yes, that's the one. If not that movie, we could watch the Secretary with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal," she said with a flash of sexual arousal. "I like that movie. That's so hot when he tells her to put her hands on his desk and lean forward. Then, he lifts the back of her skirt and masturbates all over her pantyhose clad ass. I've had plenty of bosses who groped me in that kind of sexually, inappropriate way. I lost count how many bosses felt and groped my breasts through my clothes."