by souldream
Not a bad story line, but the grammar and sentence structure was terrible, I suggest you use a volunteer editor, it will improve your writing greatly. I hope you continue this story and we can see you improve.
Nice start but too fast. It would be nice to see some more character development and additional detail. If you can slow down I believe that you have the makings of a good multi-part story.
Although you've got a great premise, you need to flesh out the chapter.
More time allowed for information.
Instead of at the funeral side, have Aunty explain it at a coffee shop, in a more private setting.
I love where this could go, and a multi part story would be excellent.
Get the suggested editor, and someone with at least some idea of BDSM.
With work, you've got a winner with this.
A good storyline having a horny teenager living in a high end whore house. I'm sure he will keep the girls busy along with getting inside of his aunt.
I hope to see more soon.
... no development of characters, rushed sex act, all in all not worth reading.
Good start. Please continue the story and develop the characters even more as the story goes so we the readers can get to know them better. Also, take with a grain of salt all comments from anyone unwilling to claim ownership.
That's just wrong only one chapter and leave us hanging. You suck