by Mostdefinitely
A little too wordy. But not enough to detract from the story.
I encourage you to write more. Also liked that you included a small amount of bondage too.
The Annoymous one who likes to write in BIG letters, the author did advise that only those over 18 should read this, mind you, that was in adult speak, My coments will now be addressed to Mostdefinitely.
Thank you for this entertaining submission, the imagery created and the thoughful process from beginning to end is all I enjoy in a good read, if you keep this up, (mine was), your fan base will surely increase, well done and please ingnore the ones who like to be negative for the hell of it, you are way better than them.
More please, well as soon as can ;-)
By the way, I am a Brit, if you don't like us Brits........tough titty. TTFN.
The gifted author is in his early 20s. I bet he was as hard as his hero Nick when he wrote it and that he shot a good healthy load of his own at the end. The subtitle of this excellent story is, "It's a son's job to make his mother happy," and Nick takes that job very seriously. Luckily, the kid's got what it takes to make his mommy happy. It's right there, between his legs. His big fat penis. He sticks it up where it does his mom the most good and pumps away. After multiple hot incestuous fucks, the poor guy's got to give it a rest. Mom's still horny, so she directs her boy to place his head between her thighs, where it last was some 20 or so years before, and Nick resumes doing his job. He slurps away like crazy at the cunt he came out of, and mom's happy again. A perfect mother and son relationship.
I love a good read that gets my mind as well as my pussy involved. Can't wait to read more of your stories.
I appreciate the fact you keep affection and TLC in your story.So often on this site authors believe erotica is created by using all the four letter words they can think of and ensuring there is no love or emotion involved.
This mother - son shit should be banned from this site, it's sick.
I loved this story and see a lot of potential for a sequel. Keep on writing it was a near professional quality piece.
Loved it continue writing just tell us more of. What you see. Please do a follow up to this. Did you ever get your mom pregnate? Does she leave your father an do you get married? Write more PLease!!!!! 8===D ~~\|/ @@
This was a pretty good story, but some of the dialogue is off-putting - "put me in a wheelchair" is not at all a sexy thing to cry out. The whole story could be streamlined a bit though some editing and would be much stronger for it. When you write do much, it loses momentum and sexiness.
I loved this story.My mom gave me the same opportunity when I was 17 and I chickened out.I will always regret it
A great story a Lil to long in the build up but very good and to the anonymous user that called it perverted and should be band well one freedom of speech two if you don't like incest or mom son stories why on earth would you read it don't like it don't read it people like you are the reason why creativity and imagination are now pretty much dead sorry long rant good story keep it up
I think you did a great job ! And don't listen to the anon saying "Too much build up" I think ya'll did just fine as frog hair. Thank you for a great story and please keep writing ! *****5 stars !
I'm so glad that you drilled in that the protagonist was "mom" and didn't use pronouns because if you hadn't I might not have known who the female was. Good writers use pronouns but we'll just ignore that.
It was not too long, or too short, it was just enough.
Yes, you got a few words mixed around, but that happens to the most experienced writers. Regarding the bashers, there are always some, the ones I find most humourous are the ones who know they are in the Incest/Taboo section, read the story Title which clearly identifies the subject matter, choose to read the story anyway, and afterward feel compelled to leave a rant denouncing the author and the story because of the genre.
A comment from someone who doesn't like British authors, as if they are all the same; a comment from someone who thinks mother-son incest is sick - but read the story all the way through. Morons. This was well thought out and well written. People with double-digit IQs should keep quiet. You have talent and I await your next effort. [You meant conscience not conscious]
Awesome.bru awesome.
Very good story. I loved the pace at which the story develops. Wam-bang thank ma'am stories are for those seeking a quick getting-off, or for people not used to reading. I truly enjoy a story that develops, that lets you know and understand the characters personalities and motivations.
Please, if you decide to continue this story make it about love and romance, no about a physical relationship. This will ensure a more engaging story. Something that at the end leaves us gratified; rather than with a dry smug on the face.
I particularly like the quirkiness of some of the dialogue in the story, it gives a little of reality to the characters, rather than a one dimensional fake characters.
I gave it a 5 out 5. Thanks, keep up the good job.
Great and extremely well written, I could see the first 2/3 of this happen. Hell, cut off the last 1/3 and this could be a good movie script. 5/5 for story alone.
great story was very surprised with it ,one of the best ive read in quite some time hope theres gonna be a part 2 to it great writing keep it up cant wait to read more from this author
I'd really love to read a chapter 2. This story is too good to abandon after one chapter.
You need another character at least too finish the story I'm waiting for it
In a lot of the stories here I am often disappointed by how little time is given to developing a plot line that is believable. I have witnessed and been in on several revenge fucks when a woman had sex with me to get even with one of my relatives who had screwed her over. So your scenario was plausible and believable.
Very well written plot line. Believable story and hot at the same time. Well done
stupid mom lived in South Africa, dumb assed dad lived in the USA. OK why didn't that idiot mom live in the USA where hubby had a job????????? maybe she only liked to fuck say 3 times a year. Author WHY did you mention that mom needed a man. obviously she DID NOT. with that said where is there any basis to have whore son fuck his stupid mommy???
A funew tale to be sure. Stands well alone, but it would also be intriguing to see where the author might take it in a sequel.
Two thoughts, however:
(1) I think a golden opportunity was missed in that she could have put on the necklace at some point near the beginning or middle of the sex. The image and all it would mean between the characters would be positively delicious!
(2) Though he doesn't say it outright, I suspect the rude anonymous complainer wasn't *really* bothered by a perceived plot hole (which it was not in the first place! The mom & son could have elected to stay in South Africa for any number of reasons.) I get the idea from his language that what bothers him is the infidelity. The son is a whore? Mom & Dad are dumb for winding up in a situation that necessitated long times apart? They are idiots because they are unhappy about it? Either our anonymous snowflake has never found himself in a complicated life/romantic situation, or he hates himself and everyone involved when he was...or maybe he's just an unimaginative tight ass.
Do I think you should keep on writing?
Mostdefinitely!
O.F.
Thank you all. And O.F. I'm not bothering with unhelpful criticism anymore. I had it right the first time.
Unhelpful criticisms? Don't be a baby. Critiques good or bad (and even if the bad make you cry) are helpful. You have to have tough skin to get better and if you only want to hear praise, then your writing will improve zero notches.
Now, rough criticisms and someone being a dick are two different things, but if what you consider unhelpful has points behind the words they are hurting your ego with, then I'd listen to it carefully.
There are too many babies (authors) on Literotica.
Lol, btw. You can be as mean with me as much as you like. It might hurt me, but it won't anger me. But if you're just trying to tear me down with complaints that make no sense to me, I call that "unhelpful criticism."
For example: the anonymous user who complained before you is taking about details I left out intentionally - you should have read the comment I left before O.F. I thought the information he wanted wasn't important to the story, though I admitted I should've told him why Mom didn't move away. And it's funny I say that, 'cause on one of my other stories you complained about unneeded details, but now you're defending someone else who said they wanted details I felt were unimportant. Can you see the holes in your argument? That's what I call "unhelpful criticism."
One of the other readers on this story complained about Mom screaming weird things during sex.Then I thought, "Hmm. Kill your darlings." And another one said it was a little wordy. I thought he meant it was too descriptive. That's what I call helpful criticism.
You can try 'n' confuse me as much as you like. It's not gonna work.
The plot to me really sit the storyline. I loved how it was the Mom who seduced her reluctant son. The build up to when the sex finally came it was real and intense. There is so much more you can do with this plot line, please keep it going!!!
I find it ironic you say authors should grow a tougher skin from critiques. But yet you the "tough skinned" person you are hides behind your comments as "Anonymous ". I would think a critique good or bad would have more weight to it if you had the guts to put your name with it. But yet you the pathetic puddle of poo you are post anonymous.
What's that I hear? Is that your elderly mother calling you to come out of her basement as she's fixed you your favorite meal. A peanut butter an jelly sandwich with the crust cutoff just the way you like it.
To Lit: Please take away the "Anonymous " option away when leaving a comment. Maybe the trolls that live their pathetic lives of knocking others down to make themselves feel better will go away.
For all the useless critics who want to hide behind ”anonymous”, Psychology Today Magazine had an article that described your affliction.
Borderline Personality Disorder
The "punishing personality type" is the name given to a person who organizes his life around punishing others. Such people have existed by the tens of millions and continue to exist by the tens of millions. They love to punish and they need to punish. Right under the surface, whatever that surface may look like, rages tremendous hatred and an unquenchable desire to inflict pain on others.
You can't reason with a punishing personality type any more than you can reason with an armed intruder. Their energy is the energy of intrusion.
It is easy enough to spot punishing personality types. They will be busy punishing. They will be spending amazing portions of their day and their life looking for ways to punish. If they could beat you with a bat, they would: that is what they really want to do. If they can't get away with that, they will do the sorts of things they are expert at doing: they will vilify you, insult you, and call you names. They consider themselves to be Self-righteous.
"self-righteous" only means one thinks they are, with certainty, totally correct ... ... and morally superior.
I think I loved the whole build up just a much as the sex. this was a great read, very hot. thanks cant wait to read more of your work
... but the flow was kind of distracting. However the storyline was good and the sex was pretty hot. Editing will help. If you prefer to edit it yourself, try reading it out loud. That way you will have to see and read every word. Be careful of using wrong words like your and you're, etc. Keep writing.
I want to say this as a statement of encouragement: I enjoyed your first story, but as a person who wrote for a living (prior to retirement), I feel that your skills developed tremendously in the intervening six months. I am really looking forward to continuing on with your offerings. Thank you.
This is such a beautiful and loving story. I like to think that dad had a lover in Chicago and that he expected this loving outcome for his son and his son's mother. I had to phone my mom after I finally let myself finish it and we cooed and cuddled by voice until we completely slipped out of our clothes and signed in to share our pleasure and love using our computers. God I love my mother so very much. This story was so loving and brave and beautiful as they gave each other to each other so completely. Sometimes when my mother Trina and I make love and share the most edgy breath games, we see the complete submission and care, love and danger in our eyes as we take each other to some edge and gasp and orgasm a cry softly and with the deepest love. God I love my mother like the two in this story.
That was one hell of a second story. I'll be looking for many more.
It seems you like to write all over the place when telling story. At times it is hard to follow your train of thought in this story when you doing one thing then for, no apparent reason your onto something else or doing something else and never quite finishing what you started. You seem confused at times like you have never fucked a woman in your life. 18 yr old boys are a lot more mature about sex than you seem to realize, and it reads like the boy is only 15 yrs old and he's more confused mentally. Get your outline along with the characters sorted out before you write the story.
If JSnipes has such a negative view of you and your stories why did he finish reading. Maybe he is a closet submissive and hates himself and his master, if he can even find one.
Maybe he is a 1st semester psychology student and knows everything. Who knows.
I read this about 1 yr ago. I liked it better this time and changed my vote to 5*s.
Still need editing help. I'd love to see where you take this story from here but it looks like you have quit writing. Sad for us.
Thanks for sharing.
I could continue with this, and I actually want to for a few readers like onlyfiction, who has given me some great ideas for a sequel. But it's been so long since I've written this, I'm thinking, "who would still be interested?" Plus, I'm coming up with other ideas I'm feeling more excited about. Still, I probably will eventually come back to this for readers like you. And on Jsipes's comment, I could be interpreting it wrong, but I didn't believe he was attacking me. In fact, I thought he was defending me in response to another commenter. Though, I will say his views on what Borderline Personality Disorder is are incorrect. I'm no armchair psychologist, but I've done my reading on mental health and I know he's blurred some facts there. But it's okay, these days I'm just trying to be happy for reviews in all there quirky shapes and forms. Even when they're negative one could argue at least they cared enough to give there opinion. Anywho, thank you Blackknight for being one of my more passionate readers. You rock.
This must be one of the best mom & son story. I love how funny and cute their relationship is. While sex was just filled with hot scenes.
This is a very good incest story. As a romantic, I had hoped there would be more intimacy, sensuality and passion.
At points, this almost seemed to be a revenge incestuous sexual encounter but the mental development of the son belayed this outcome. I would like to see this story develop into a series.
Its always so lovely when a son fucks his mother. Completing the cycle, a son's place is even inside the mother's rectum. Motherly nurturing and Oedipal urges sometimes require nothing less. A mother's asshole is very hot and tight indeed, but for her adoring son, it opens and grips by design. Just as St. Eve's own virgin pure rosebud was completed by her son Adam's penis, Mother Nature herself smiles upon Oedipal sodomy.
After talking to his father while he poked her, she urged him to use his tongue to fill the time until she orgasms and he can revive his erection. If a mother would do that in a commanding way will go a long way to having him for the sex her husband fails to give.
i had to break this story into four parts as it was so very spankalicious! My favorite stories here are mother son LOVE stories- they trump all the 'conquering my mom slut' stories that don't convey ANY love.
The anonymous writer that called the author out as gay for the anal play ought to try it out some time; while gay men enjoy anal cuz there's no vagina close by, many many couples love butt rumping! It's especially immature to make said comment when very early on we know the protagonist is WAY into da butt play, so everyone knew it would be included.
you describe the sex and love quite well. And you really got into the son's mind and his complex feelings. Very believable and oh so very SPANKALICIOUS!!! Thanks!