by carbinemaster
Keep Going. Just Goes To Show How Much And What You'll Do To Protect Family.
Now this is a story, an amazing story with a lot of possibilities. I hope that Grace & Kevin decide to become a couple, they are perfect for each other.
I can honestly say, through just under 4 years of reading on lit, I have not come across a single story, be it stand alone, or chaptered, that was better than what I just read. An EXTREMELY well deserved 5 stars, and an honest thank you, for this utterly amazing story.
Ive never commented on a story in the year ive been here... but your writing and the use of just enough detail was superb! I happen to be a veteran and am even more approciative of your proper vernacular! You know what a magazine is!! Haha... but like i said... just enough of just the right details truly made this story. Cant wait for more!
I am glad your wife persuaded you to post this story as it is so well written and I for one like the others would like to hear more about what happens between Grace & Kevin, this story I feel can go a long way .
Absolutely awesomely developed the plot. I can't wait for other chapters.
Change the weapon to a hand gun and I would have marked this as a favorite story. But as it stands I still want to read the conclusion.
Only thing I would change, yeah everyone is a critic, is her getting naked creek side. I had to reread that section a few times to find the short statement that she was getting undressed.
Well, you've opened the door with a good base. Now continue the story and really develop it. There is so much that can be done at this point. Both were smart to say "not tonight" and leave the door open to fully explore things. Oh what exploiring they could do. run with it. Yes do more. GP
1. Lose the AR-15. Anything else but that particular model would do fine.
2. It feels weird hearing them say "My love", especially when they haven't really done anything with each other. Maybe it's just me, but 'my love' has always sounded too melodramatic and pretentious, like something out of a bodice-ripper romance novel.
Otherwise, I really liked the beginning of the story. Almost sounded like something out of the "Loving Wives" category, and I've always thought it would be cool to mix that with "Incest/Taboo", kind of like in that story, "Colleen", which is one of the top incest stories on Literotica.
I liked the story and eagerly await anything else you might add. By the way I have no problem with the Armalite 15. It wasn't the weapons' fault that some idiot uses it for religious or moral persecution. It was never designed for the general public. It was only designed for the military, it was to give them an answer to the Kalashnikov.
Two things that I didn't care for in this story were the language Kevin used with his sister when describing his ex-girlfriend, and that some of the dialogue was kind of sappy. I have two sisters and have never used that kind of language in their presence. Of course, I'm 68 years old so maybe that's acceptable now. Not for me.
In the future try to re-read your story and judge whether or not people really would say the things you've written. Try to think of different ways of saying the same thing, but more realistically. I had no problem with the rifle, it being legal and there being a good reason for him having it in his possession when he entered the house.
One last thing: Kevin went with a girl for six years and didn't have sex with her? He was saving himself? Not very believable if you ask me.
It was a good story, though, fairly well thought out, and I enjoyed it. My criticism is not meant to be mean spirited, just constructive. Thanks.
This was a very well done and believable story. Your vocabulary and vernacular were right on and refreshing.
Please ignore the comments about using "AR-15" It would be most likely what he was using to go shooting at the range, and for those referring to Orlando, that was not an AR-15, the gunman used a Sig Sauer MCX carbine.
I can't believe Kevin didn't knee cap Lance, better yet, shoot his dick off! If you have to shoot inside your house, shoot to kill, then the Bastard can't sue you!
Good story hope you finish it.
first off, the AR-15 is fine Only libtards who blame the gun for killing people but refuse to blame the car when people get mowed down by a car, would say lose the gun or lose the AR-15. The story is great.
To the Previous Anon: Seriously? "Libtard", that term went out in the 90s, Americans love their firearms across all spectrums. Get control of yourself please.
To Carbine, interesting writing so far and the way he got burned yowch. Thank you for your story so far.
Nice setup to introduce likable characters. Good job with suspense/conflict in gun scene. Lol I read a lot of tough guy spec op skills books and forgot for a page or two that I was reading...here. So nice job pulling reader in to a real story. Can't wait to read more. Thanks.
I like this story.
Is one of my preferred stories.
Unfortunately, I start to read from chapter 2 to 6, and today is when I read the first chapter.
Now, I understand munch better the story.
5* for you.
Great Job!
I have only read the first installment but I think this is going to be a great story. The author's stand on guns suits me to a tee!
Indeed it was. Don't know that too many guys got so royally dumped during a proposal, but BOY did you make it real and we felt the pain--as we did with what Matt planned to do to Grace. ugh!
Playful banter between the two, and quite adorable: I loved Grace goosing Kevin. :)
Easily a 5 and I look forward to reading more. :)
This story immediately grabbed my attention and held it. You've done a great job creating empathy for your protagonist. I look forward to reading more.
First time I have had a story with as much excitement after so much betrayal.
This was really good! Reminds me of die hard and taken series put together. <- at that one part. Lol
Please write more it's the best story on here that I ever read. Was it Trent ? I want know if Gracie and Kevin had kids and who came to their wedding too...
I love to read, reread, rereread and read this story several more time! Sorry for only scoring it at for four, sneezed and hit it at four and not the rightful ten is so truly deserves. Keep writing and I'll keep reading!
You sure know how to dramatically & *traumatically* break up these two brother and sister! So much so, that last kiss just came off as, ironically enough, inappropriate. Oh, well, yet and still, very good beginning!
When Brother discovered what was happening to his sis, I thought this might turn into one of those cuckold stories. Glad it didn't and thus I'm willing to read on to the next chapter.
Overall, story was fast paced, emotional (drew out too much negative emotions for my liking in bro-sis romance). But I was glad, brother isn't typical sissy type in so many writing in this site. Biggest of my turn off is cuckold stories. Any hint of inclination to that route is where I stop reading . Anyways, I hope stories stay true to it's tag which is bro-sis romance. Not one of those, full blown orgy where anything goes.
I will read on keeping my finger cross this will be a romance story between bro and sis without introducing additional elements (cheating, sharing, cuckold) into their romance.
This was a good start to the story, Cant wait to read the rest of the series. If my sisters bf planned on doing that to her i would have put a few bullets in him, fuck the law i dont care, if he planned on basically raping my sister with his friend i would put a bullet through his skull without a second thought. If i end up in jail for murder at least i know my sister is safe. This aspect of the story drew out a lot of protective insticts in me.
Just starting my third read of this series. Still can’t believe what a good opening chapter this is, amazing job on it!
Well, nice. By the author's intro, this was meant to be a stand-alone story. So, I guess it generated enough positive comments to encourage adding additional chapters. This may bode well for the rest of the series. I hope that the character of Kelly, Kevin’s x-girlfriend, is reintroduced to see if she is still with “The one” that she trashed a six-year relationship for, after only knowing him for a couple of days and so adding some conflict to the narrative.
The beginning was definitely a little... stern. It felt a little extreme for someone to load up and be ready to put this person down. If the situation did call for that kind of response the story needed more details to justify his aggressive posture.
Interesting, promising, dramatic start.
It's a little weird that these two go straight to inaprops kissing so quickly, and that they are both promising sex to each other. For instance, our hero held onto his virginity for 6 years! Thinking about jumping into the sack the next day after that relationship is over, to show one's love to someone else, almost as soon as possible seems kind of different. And, the title is actually a catch phrase the protag has decided upon here in chapter 1; his sis will solve all of his problems.
Still, a promising start.... I am going to dive into pt. 2.
After reading that other saving grace which is cuckold, this one is just the right flavor to ease my mind
A little put off by the first chapter, especially with grace and her boyfriend scene, but i have looked at the ratings of other chapters so i hope it gets better further ahead
You had a 5/5 right up until you decided to bullshit us by going all liberal Hollywood style with: 🙄
---> The AR-15 nudged my shoulder gently, and the sound of the shot was, in a word, deafening.
---> The muzzle blast was worse; there was no space for it to dissipate. The bullet slammed into
---> the floor less than 6 inches from the toes of Kong's left foot, and he came to an almost instant halt.
Fuck that idiotic nonsense! All self defense classes will teach you NO WARNING SHOTS!!!! PERIOD!!!!
You should have had Kevin shoot Lance and drop his arrogant ass. Especially after he threatened Kevin with bodily injuries. If you don’t want Kevin to kill Lance, then either have him stay put until the cops arrive or have him survive his wounds in the hospital after Kevin shoots him. But don't perpetuate the Hollywood myths that get real people killed by criminals. 3/5
Ehh, isnt it too fast for falling in love? It took them like half of day or something.
Re-reading for 4th time. I am a guy of 19, but only sibling romance or action romance are my cup of tea. I love the drama aspect as well from all the other good stories on lit. For me the, Only disappointment sor far was that in the last chapter "peace of grace" you rushed the things. If you ever plan on writing more about Kevin and Gracds tale. Please add more. Overall the story is must read.
And for the people who wants to read similar sibling romance stories with great character development.
Please read
1. All I need - by anomic
2. Bruises
3. It's the way you look at me - by betweenthesheets
4.the bitch that is my stepsister (or something like that) - by Soul71
5. You can read stories by author beachbum1958 as well. They are also pretty good
And I can add many name that I like but those are for some other times.❤️
A warning shot? Seriously?
"Kong" isn't deterred by a gun pointed directly at him, but he's definitely going to stop when you point it away from him to shoot the floor?
So dumb.
Then the immediate "my love" was just too much. Too fast. Half the fun of this type of story is them resisting the attraction. Fighting the pull. Getting closer and closer before falling for each other. Flirting. Teasing. Tempting.
I thought the story lacked description especially with main characters more detail needed plus I disagree with one comments saying he fell in love to fast with his sister. You have to remember that he grew up with his sister for the last 20 years and loves his sister dearly. I think from the time he broke up from his whore girlfriend, the compassion and love his sister showed him trying to mend his broken heart and combined with the fact that he just saved her trying to protect her the realisation hit both of them that they were actually IN LOVE with each other. A good start to the story can’t wait for the next chapter. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I like it so far and I'm curious to see where it goes.
A couple of the other elements of the story were rather disturbing to me. The cheating opener, and done in such a brutal way. I mean who does!? She was with him all those years, discussed marriage and kids, but apparently wasn't really in it completely - and he had no idea - and then cruelly betrays him after just meeting someone she thinks is "the one". Instead of doing the decent thing and ending it, no, she keeps stringing him along until he finds out in a terrible way after unknowingly forcing her hand. People like that are deserving of the title, monster, in my opinion.
Speaking of monsters, what Matt and Lance had planned... I shudder to think of the state that would have left Grace in if Kevin hadn't have been fortunate enough to be there for her. She would likely have been deeply scarred for life with long-lasting emotional trauma. And worse, as they had filmed it, they would have blackmailed her to keep quiet so she would have suffered in silence for god knows how long before breaking, probably killing herself or maybe confessing to Kevin, who would then have probably tried to kill them. But that would only result in his life taking a turn for the worse. Heavy stuff.