All Comments on 'My Second Chance'

Welcome back.

I wish you would write longer pieces. You used to do wonderfully complex characters with nuanced and realistic situations.

I miss those stories.

This is in no way realistic, not the type of story that can be done in a 'flash' story, there is no way she would have moved onto another man so soon.

You came back with a vengence. Although you are a master of longer tales this flash tale says it all. And a happy ending.

Five Stars

Great writing and a real love story!

and one should never piss off a mother with cubs. TK U MLJ LV NV

much to often spousal abuse so i find this a good story but with the losers that write in this genre if you can spell three letter words you would be smarter then bonnie taylor and her gang of pigs.

Marvellous few days, first DQS1 returns and now SLIRPUFF.

Things are looking up.

I agree with @paulrover...These last days were different for the best in LW!!! DQS1 and Slirpuff had returned...A very good short story...Short but having all the right ingredients in it...4*

I`ve been retired from the Police Service for some time now, but I, and I`m sure all former officers, can remember the dread of going to what were then known as `domestics`. the cowering children, the poor downtrodden wife in total distress, the bruising on her face, the damaged furniture, the food thrown onto the wall, the brute of a husband telling us it was none of our effing business and apart from `keeping the peace` there was almost nothing the law at that time would allow us to do. Thank God we now live in more enlightened times. PW.

Extremely well done when dealing with such an important subject as is Spousal Abuse. Well Done Sir! AND WELCOME BACK

it's ok for her to abuse him?

...that you have taken up writing again. Fine story.

YES anoy it was okay for her to ABUSE him. what was he nothing but a gutless abuser. what he did was not the feel good word of abuse, rather assault. Life threatening assault. wonder what shape the 3 year old would have been in if that monster had been able to reach her. damn right it was okay for her to defend her daughter and herself from him. what a stupid question to ask.

Bloody good.

DanielQSteele1 and Slirpuff, both back with new stories a day apart. It's a good week!

Nice job, and thanks for your story!

Thank you Slirpuff. You have real knack for taking a subject and hitting it home in a well written story. You paint a written picture of the horror and destruction caused by abuse in this story. I know you have done the same word picture with other stories. I really enjoy the way you weave truth into your stories to make a profound reading experience. These stories make me sit back and think as it percolates through my mind. One of the reason I read on this site to find those few and rare stories.

A sincere Thank you for writing and sharing your effort it is appreciated. Please keep writing and I will keep reading. Yes I give it 5*

Thanks so much for returning. This effort WAS thoughtful and engaging, and not in the least, an emotional powerhouse of a flash. I think you accomplished your goals, and made quite a statement.

I suppose I am not alone in hoping you stay around for a little while. Hopefully a longer, and more in depth character study is soon to be in the works? I think it was risky to return with such a dark tale of abuse, and I pray that any idiotic negative fallout doesn't disuade you from continuing on. I think that even with THIS flash (as with most out there), there is actually still ALOT of story left to tell. But, I'd rather see you develop fresh characters, and bring us more of those "everyman" type of marital snafus that made you famous around here.

Slirpuff, no matter what, I echo many who have already commented, and I hope even MORE will chime in to say:

You are certainly a sight for sore eyes!!!!!!

As always, Thankyou so very much for doing what you do!

This is a flash story and gives us bits and pieces what happen. Take if for what it worth.... Stop gripping and give it 5 stars.

I can't imagine this story being any more effective at 2+ pages. I won't be able to find this story with a tags search. No need for "divorce." Add "EMT," "battered wife," etc.

so because she got abused

it's ok for her to abuse him?

The paramedic her new husband understands that her period of adjustment is going to be long and for him dangerous. It does not excuse her behaviour but she is showing signs of progress. It is not dissimilar to soldiers returning from war. Some never readjust to civilian life. Unlike them she has a one man safety net. So many soldiers lose their families because their families can't cope and they do not get the help they need. Mental illness is the great tragedy of our time. This story is a good portrayal of that. *****

I am so excited to have a new story by you. Please disregard any negative comments, I for one, love your writing and hope you give us more, much more, thanks!

I don't think so.

Frankly, considering the subject matter, it's not flash, it's superficial. Deep and difficult psychological issues - which are the core of the subject matter - aren't given any treatment at all. None.

A flash such as this: "Someone has horrible problems - let's not get into details - rest assured that they get better in no time."

No ..

You did a great job tackling a tough subject. I almost couldn't read past the first few paragraphs because I wanted to dive into the scene and beat the crap out of the first husband.

I am certainly glad I did read on. You packed a lot of story in one page. Bravo for job well done, and of course you earned the five stars I gave you.

Complete White Knight story. It does not matter if the woman presses charges or not... the man goes to jail and the prosecutor presses charges. They're called VAWA laws.. Federal, so they apply all over the country. What did they do with the guy bleeding to death on the floor, leave him because they came to the conclusion he deserved to die based on a few seconds on scene? Even if he was dead, they would be trying to do something. I like this genre, but sometimes these stories seem to be filled with tropes and cliches.

I don't like this much.

Yes, it describes a horrible situation. But we start there and we go...where? Her punching out her husband and having a baby while she abuses him.

One can have a sad story, but it needs more arc, more development and have a decent message. Otherwise it is an exercise in torture porn and that has never really been Slirpuffs thing, that I recall.

Thanks for sharing.

So, I check in on Lit for the first time in months and see a new DQS1 story. Check in the next day and Slirpuff has an offering. What's next? Renquist gonna post something tomorrow? A challenging subject for a flash story treatment. SP can wring out emotion. Hoping for a longer story of love and loss and redemption. Thanks for popping up.

Liked the emotional intensity of this,flash piece.

Welcome back and very well done.

Check your timeline. The way I read it it doesn't add up.

Not one wasted word. Great to have SP back!

True to life examination of a domestic violence relationship. Not a good fit for the loving wives section. And while I'm happy that you posted another story and it was well written, I will simply say this. We are all on a porn site on the world wide web. This simply wasn't fun or entertaining to read. It felt totally out of place in this section. For someone that has been touched by this stuff in real life, I just don't want to read about it here. Thanks for the effort but never again please.

Intense, raw, real. Many flash stories feel like something was left out to make it short. This feels complete. Great job.

I guess this is a porn site, but hopefully those who read porn can also accept something extremely well done. Thanks for sharing.

of the beaten spouse who got outside herself to protect her child. The haunting calm and seeming disassociation of the wife when the paramedics arrived is a very real phenomenon. It is absolutely spooky in it's clarity. Had a chance to see it many times during the early 70s while riding the "box" in a large city. All across the age, race and socio-economic spectrum one thing is consistent. Battered women come out of themselves to protect their children when the don't raise a finger to stop it for themselves. Poor women are so traumatized by that stage that they can't even think of doing anything. Absolutely on the nose on this one.

I have also never seen one of these victims even charged let alone convicted.

Nicely done and of course provocative but all the information that you need is there.

This is an author who is really learning trade (if you don't believe me go back and read his first story and don't complain that he needs an editor)

What leaves me wondering is the number of comments which acuse the woman of abusing the husband. Are they trying to make a funny?

... seem to be adding their own details to their recollections of this story and then critiquing it. Don't base a critique on your own assumptions of details not in evidence. I would agree this would have been better put in Non-Erotic but the vitriol included in similar opinions was a bit over the top.

He hit it square. Been in the box now 40 years myself. The females clam up and are unwilling to talk to the male medics. That's when I am glad my partner for that day is a female. Just easier to start the healing process at the scene rather than in some cold emergency room where you are looked at as just another unit or revenue. Thanks for the story . A 5 for sure.

A Marriage Strife hub would help more good authors to publish......but I am glad SP wrote again to throw stone into the cuck lake.

So she punches her new husband in the eye and that's not abuse. But her dead husband kicking her ass is abuse. So only women can be victims of abuse and by slirpuff's guide lines. Men are only there to save their wives, take them back after they get gangbanged and to be faithfull only as long as he understands that only she can fuck around.

Great story I was just getting into when it ended next time please make it longer

I was with a woman for several years who would go into a fuge and start lashing out at her ex. Who was no longer with her. She apologised to me. Her ex had really fucked her head up.

As someone who was abused for 17 years in lass obvious ways. I never have the nerve to call the police cause he knew enough not to leave marks. I now suffer from PTSD and understand how she can lash out in her sleep at times. Its not abuse if you do not know you are doing it. I have hit my other half in my sleep not knowing it because i have freaked out. Great story

...thanks for sharing your story.

This story would easily go 3-5 pages. A great story here.

and punch his wife in the eye, while he was sleep. It would be ok, it wouldn't be considered domestic violence.

Written with excellence, but a story that hits too close to home. I had a blind date with a girl who was living inside a self-made shell. She didn't laugh; she didn't cry. Her friend had to talk me into the date. It started disastrously, but by the end of the night I had my arms around her, not romantically but to protect her. I'm still on the job 51 years later.

Who complain the husband is an abuser for beating up his wife,hitting her,kicking her and knocking out a tooth and scalding her,but she isn't an abuser for hitting her new husband,the difference is she isn't doing it deliberately whereas he was just a piece of garbage. The big untruth to this story is if it happened in some rural area down south or out west,they likely would charge her with murder,since spousal abuse doesnt exist there and if hubby bests up his wife,she must have deserved it (do some research on women abuse survivors who fight back or kill her abuser and how local law enforcement treat it,if you think I am lying).

Nicely written and powerful,look forward to longer stories.

You're back! Great story. Jenna and Bella are going to get the happily ever after. Of course a five.

Like a prior comment writer said. First a DQ Steele, and now a Slirpuff. The LW genre is being saved!

I appreciated the story. The 'adjustment timeline' was a bit unrealistic ... for both Sweetie and CutiePie, but nevermind.

FOLKS! Flailing about in nightmares from PTSD is NOT spousal abuse! Abuse has to be intentional, or blatant carelessness (such as repeatedly exposing yourself to psychoactive agents and acting out! Sweetie repeatedly offered to sleep apart. Hubby is WILLING to stay close to help Sweetie awaken quickly and to be close to comfort her! IT AIN'T ABUSE!

There is NO adventurous wife in this story ... just two recovering victims and a hero! Gave it a 5 anyway!

So much better material than all the demented & fucked cuckold cum-sucking faggots of whom the idiot site-moderators are clueless about. Asshole moderators!

A breath of fresh air in story telling. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks, Slirpy.

is this?

Just great. Short, well written, original.

5*, of course.

Sought of read like an outline for a much longer story.

The background,characters,events leading up to,and recovery from, the final confrontation could all have been developed far more.

BUT, it worked as a little flash story ,with a "happy ending".

You took on a sensitive subject and did a great job with it.

No charges should have been filed against her & weren't. She killed her abuser in self defense. 'Nuff said.

5*

I love the book! I hope you update soon! ❤️

Domestic violence deserved a bit more, especially in the healing part, not to gory details

This anonymous is just another abusive husband who can't stand stories which make him look like the asshole he really is!

Excellent story. It's too bad the this anonymous is still breathing.

Anonymous 2 comments back needs somewhere for the mentally challenged. This boy is not vey bright. You wrote a excellent story and give you 5 stars. Well done.

First, she wouldn't have gone for the bread knife. they usually have blunt ends. She would have gone for the kitchen knife, also called a chef's knife. It's big and has a sharp end. Second, when the EMT's enter the room, they would see the husband, notice that he was the more injured, and immediately have checked him for life signs. And they would have radioed in the dead body. Still a very good story.

Doug was dead before he threw the kettle.

Short and sweet. After the hell that first husband put her through, she deserved to find some happiness. It's too bad for her sake that she had to kill him, because that kind of thing really does leave a scar on the mind, and in my opinion, the soul, that can be hard to overcome. Fortunately for her she had a man who was ready to love her and care for her the way she needed.

Wonderful story.

But... just to add another technical criticism: Chris would also have noticed the, likely 2nd degree, burns to her face, arms and hands from the hot stew. Maybe even more quickly than any bruising. Bruising can take several minutes to hours to show up. 2nd and 3rd degree burns can show up in a few seconds (at the most a couple of minutes).

On another note: the criticism that someone had of her not using the bread knife... Idiot, she would use the weapon nearest at hand. If it was a bread knife, then it was a bread knife. Maybe the chef's knife was in a drawer/knife-block/counter on the other side of the kitchen. Or worse, behind the husband. How was she supposed to get that in such a case? And I have a bread knife that has just enough of a tip to "stab" someone if enough force is used. Or better yet, she may have slashed his arms, face - and best yet - neck with the bread in knife. One of my sharpest edges knives in my kitchen is my 14" serrated bread knife. Could easily cut all kinds of arteries, veins, muscles, tendons, etc. if used to slash. Think of all the possibilities before you critisize.

nicely done. Not long but sure packed the feeling into it pretty well 5 stars

I have to agree with notredame, a bit short on words. A great start, though.

Read the story again. She wasn't "abusing" him, she was protecting her THREE-year-old daughter from him!

I don't think more is needed, all the facts are there.

Was there "enough" time for her to heal? Maybe not, but who really knows how much is "enough?"

Again, it wasn't abuse, it wasn't even self defense, it was defending her DAUGHTER, and if there is anyone out there that wouldn't do the same for their child, then they don't deserve to be parents!

As for the creep (I won't give him the honor of calling him "husband"), bleeding to death, I assumed he was already dead. I was a little surprised when they called in, that they didn't call for the "meat wagon."

make a knight in shining armor story much shorter I think.

Read for the 5th or the 6th time still my favorite..... Still wishing it was longer

I liked the story, more of an outline really, but it was sweet. I didn't understand that bit though, since the wife was in shock. I guess a neighbor could have heard, but how would they know there were injuries, and surely a neighbor would call the cops not paramedics.

How can a living being be such a monster?! Preparing to attack his three year old DAUGHTER? Hope Jenna carved him up with the, "Death of a Thousand Cuts". !!

I've definitely been in Chris' shoes. It took more than twenty years for my wife's nightmares from her ex to mostly go away, and I spent a lot of time being the recipient of defensive kicks, elbows, punches and screams coming from those dreams. Even now, pushing forty years later, they still show up every once in a while, albeit less virilently.

It's really easy to underestimate just how deeply humans can wound each other, and how casually.

I saw a lot of this type tragedy while in the ED. I never did fully understand. Great story.

Jenna's a hero protecting her daughter from that piece of shit. 5 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

Well done anyway. He definitely got what he deserved.pbb

I liked this one.

To have questions in a flash story, just accept that justice was served. Signed: BTW

That guy is a disgusting disgrace to humanity. Not a biology major but isn't it the male who determines whether the child is male with an extra Y chromosome? So he was to blame for not providing a son...

No excuses for hitting a woman or child...

The reality of the story is that it happens all the time, in any city, and in any town, big or small. Her situation is not unique, she get beat up, released from hospital, and like Chris said, back again to the same shit. A man who hits a woman should die. This tale has to hit home to many out there. A very interesting and good reminder that there are men out there who WILL give a second chance to those in need. 5/5 and 2 thumbs up.

But I don't think it belongs in the loving wives category. I actually don't think it belongs on a porn site. Besides touching a flash point of reality, spousal abuse is a national problem all too often swept under the rug. It's disgusting and men or women found guilty deserve either life in prison or the gallows.

I sort of agree with another, this is too good for Loving Wife's. But sure am glad I read it. 5*

Ugh, i want to kill him again ...

For those commenting on how "fast" she moved on: He slept on the couch for two months; they kissed after another month; three more months before they slept together; nine more months before he proposed. That's 15 months, and we have no idea how long the engagement was. I have no idea what a "normal" recovery period is, and she's obviously not all the way there. but it's not like this all happened overnight.

Excellent story well presented,-- bad grammar and all. 5*s.

The previous comment says it all!

Again, Slirpuff has a remarkable story here. I don’t know why she didn’t kill him sooner. You just don’t mess with mama bear’s cub.

He should have been destroyed -- MUCH EARLIER!! How cab anyone be such a brutal bastard! Kudos to Chris. 5*s.

A short snapshot of sad lives made better. Good story!

somewhere east of Omaha

Too short.

Chris is the most severely mentally ill person in this sad melodrama. His rescuer/martyr complex sounds really painful.

Wow! The Anon’s contribution that Cris was mentally ill due to some “rescuer/martyr complex” is just so much BS it reeks. I believe psycho-babble like that is part of the reason why psychology will never be accepted as an empirical science. Or for that matter much of any kind of “science” at all. A very compelling story, Slirpuff, thanks for bringing it to us.

In my world this shit would have been stopped "with prejudice" as soon as the noise was heard. The first man to hear it would have been on it and the rest of the neighborhood immediately after. - I do love my neighbors

how in the fuck did it go so far with no outside help, family, friends neighbors. TK U MLJ LV NV

When I was a little boy between the ages of five to 12 years old I was beaten every single day by my parents because they told me I was no good and I was worthless. Trouble is now that I'm 71 years old I still believe them. I have felt worthless my entire life.

More of the recovery/rehab/love would have been good. I never had that.

A sad/happy story. What is really sad is that part happens all to often. Need more of the happy part. Thanks for your writing.

Beautiful story. Just wish there could have been more of it.

Been on too many calls like this. It is a sad situation indeed

For those saying that she "abused" Chris: She lashed out IN HER SLEEP, she wasn't consciously beating on him.